”It smells great in here, ” Kerry commented, as their server arrived, bearing a basket of warm, fresh biscuits and a bowl of sweet butter. ”Is it the wood they’re using in the fire?”
Dar glanced over at it, as she snagged a yeast biscuit and broke it open. ”Um, that might be hickory, so yeah.” A tiny hint of a smile appeared. ”You know, this winter stuff isn’t all bad.” She tugged on her collar. ”Except that this wool’s driving me nuts.”
Kerry laughed. ”Well, you look really nice in that sweater, even if it’s tickling your chin.” The turtleneck, a rich, solid electric blue brought out the color of her eyes like nobody’s business, and framed her angular face wonderfully.
Dar looked pleased at the compliment. ”You look very nice, 254
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yourself,” she returned it, eyeing Kerry’s layered flannel and sweatshirt combination. Kerry’s face had a gentle tinge of color from the wind they’d ridden through, and her pale hair was pulled back into a ponytail, with a few wisps escaping around her pink ears.
Which grew a touch pinker at the words, something Dar found eminently adorable. ”I’m glad our flight’s not until eight tomorrow night—gives us the whole day,” she remarked. ”You’re going to teach me to sail in the morning, right?”
”Teach you? Dar you’ve been on the ocean all your life. What do you mean teach you?” Kerry protested, smiling a thank you at the server as he put a cup of frothy local ale in front of her, and a similar one in front of Dar.
”Mmm. ” Dar took a sip, and raised her brows. ”Not bad, um, I can drive about anything on the water that uses petroleum products, and I even got to sit at the controls of something that uses...” She paused, and waggled her head. ”A more esoteric form of fuel, shall we say, but I’ve never sailed.”
”Really?” Kerry thought about that. ”Esoteric? I don’t—” She remembered what branch of the service Dar’s father had been in. ”Oh, oh, I get it, right.” Pause. ”They didn’t let you drive a submarine, did they?”
Dar held up a finger to her lips. ”Sshhhh. I didn’t even have a driver’s license at the time.”
Kerry covered her eyes. ”Oh, I suddenly feel so, sooo, safe,” she sighed.
”I didn’t hit anything,” Dar objected mildly. ”And I’m a safe driver, you know that.”
Their conversation was interrupted by the entrance of a large family, who took a table not far from them. The father was an older man, gray haired and stocky, dressed in a flannel shirt and corduroys.
He directed the three assorted children to sit down while his wife pulled the waiter aside. The children were all slimly built and meticulously dressed, and the mother had, incongruously, a mink stole around her shoulders.
Dar snorted as she took a sip of her ale, then glanced over and saw the pensive look on Kerry’s face. She reached over and covered Kerry’s hand with her own, chafing the fingers of it lightly. ”Hey.”
Green eyes flicked her way, then held.
”Memories?” Dar guessed.
”Something like that,” Kerry acknowledged softly. ”When we were younger, we used to go to a Christian retreat up in the north lake area.
It was a little like this, except that the focus was bible teaching, and family building.” She let out a faint, bitter laugh. ”Family building, what a joke. It was just one big excuse to get us all together in one place so we could be preached at for a week, and told our faults.”
Dar winced. ”Not all families are like that,” she told Kerry, giving
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the nervously moving fingers a squeeze.
Kerry dropped her gaze to their hands. ”I know.” She looked up.
”But I see kids like that,” she jerked her head towards the family. ”And I always wonder.”
Dar studied the children quietly, noting the almost furtive glances as they looked around. The eldest girl was probably about sixteen, and the youngest about ten, she reckoned. As she pondered, the oldest happened to look her way, and their eyes met briefly. The girl immediately dropped her eyes, and a blush made itself evident on her face.A dark brow lifted, as Dar wondered what had garnered that reaction, then she realized she and Kerry were still holding hands. Ah.
She drummed the fingers of her free hand on the table. Well well. ”So.”
She casually pulled Kerry’s knuckles over and brushed them with her lips, then released them. ” What were we talking about, sailing, wasn’t it?” ”Um...” Kerry looked a little flustered. ”Dar, you know, we are in North Carolina.”
Dar blinked at her. ”I know that.”
Green eyes flicked around the room, then back to her face. ”Don’t they still lynch adulterers here?”
The dark brows knit for a long moment. ”Wha— oh.” Dar sat back, nonplused. ”I...” She looked around in a startled manner. ”B...”
Kerry hid a smile behind one hand. ”Dar, Dar, relax I didn’t mean...” She covered her eyes, and felt her skin warm. ”I just, I sort of had you pegged, I thought, as someone who didn’t do PDA's.” She peeked at her lover hesitantly. The angular face was very still, as Dar processed her words, then an indescribable look took it over. ”Dar?”
”I...” Dar released a breath. ”I didn’t think I did either.” She folded her hands and studied them. ”I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was bothering you,” her voice was steady, and casual.
But Kerry had learned something about her companion over the months. Sometimes she said what she thought the person she was talking to wanted to hear, rather than what she was feeling in her heart, and it usually showed in subtle shifts in her body language.
Like when her neck muscles relaxed, and it dropped her shoulders a little. It wasn’t quite slumping, but Kerry could see it nonetheless.
”No, it doesn’t bother me,” she hesitated, choosing her words carefully.
”I love when you touch me. You have no idea how special that makes me feel.” She watched the dark head lift, and wary blue eyes peeked out at her. ”I guess I’m just not used to being conspicuous.”
”Conspicuous?” Dar repeated.
”Yeah, I um. ” Kerry twiddled her thumbs. ”I made it a practice to attract as little attention to myself as possible. It was sort of a survival reflex.”
”Oh,” Dar murmured. ”I never thought of that.” She played with 256
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her roll. ”I never really cared if I attracted attention or not.”
Kerry rested her chin in her hand, and gazed at her magnetically attractive companion. ”No, I bet you didn’t,” she remarked wryly. ”But it’s going to take me a little while to get over that.”
Dar bit her lip, looking for all the world like a scolded child being denied dessert. ”Sorry. I... I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I just...”
Damn
it, I should have realized. What in the hell is wrong with me?
”I’ll try to keep my hands to myself from now on.”
Kerry felt a definite pang hit her in the chest, just hearing that self-disgust in Dar’s otherwise even tone.
It was a quiet dinner, and Kerry noticed neither of them ate much.
She zipped up her jacket and followed Dar as she made her way out the front of the lodge, towards where the hayride was forming up, a soft round of laughter coming from the people who were waiting. A large wagon really full with hay was standing there, with two large work horses hitched to it, their placid, gentle eyes regarding the crowd with little or no interest.
The family had decided to go, and so did six or seven other couples, two of them with children. Kerry bounced on her feet a little in the chill, as she watched them all mill around, waiting for the lodge worker to allow them to climb up onto the wagon.
Dar stood quietly nearby, her hands tucked into her pockets, a look of polite interest on her face. Her breath showed as a gentle stream of vapor, and as Kerry kept an unobtrusive eye on her, the stream doubled, as she let out a long sigh.
”All right, folks, let’s get aboard. We want to get over to that campfire real soon, cause this weather ain’t getting any warmer,” the cheerful driver told them, as he unhooked the chain and let the back gate down, then put a set of stairs in place. ”Up you go.”
Dar and Kerry were the fourth set of people to get into the hay wagon, and they settled themselves in one of the front corners, out of the way of the giggling children who were burrowing in the hay, tossing bits of it around. Dar drew her knees up and put her arm against them, resting her chin on one forearm.
She thought about what Kerry had said, and found herself resenting the other couples there, who were free to hug and kiss each other, with no fear of any adverse reaction. In fact, the two older couples were watching one pair of lovebirds with an indulgent look on their faces.
She felt, in that moment, as though something very important had been taken away from her, and it was making her mad. So was Kerry’s assumption that she wouldn’t like public displays. So was the annoying cold, that was making her throat dry out and giving her a headache.
She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back, letting herself slide into a full fledged, self-acknowledged really bad mood. Part of it was at herself, since she really should have guessed that Kerry wouldn’t
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be comfortable announcing their sexual partnership to the world, especially here in what she assumed was a bastion of conservatism.
Another part of it was because she hadn’t even realized she was doing it, which made her kick herself for being so damned self-absorbed.
The cold pressed in on her, and she dropped her head a little and let it in, remembering the last time she’d been here. Living through the hurt, and rebuilding her defenses, determined to go back out there, and never, never let anyone get close enough to make her feel that lousy ever again.
So what the hell was she doing here now?
Then the other half of her slapped her upside the head.
Get a grip,
Dar. She didn’t blow you off, she just asked for some time to adjust. So
just chill out.
Well, at least that was easy enough.
She glared morosely at her visible breath, bracing her feet as the wagon started, and the other occupants laughed in delight. The horses started to pull them down the road, their hoof beats making a regular pattern in the still, cold air.
Stop
behaving like a spoiled brat, already. Jesus, Dar, what would Dad say?
He’d kick your ass for acting like this.
”Pretty night out, huh?” She forced her bad mood down, and turned to Kerry, shocked at the effort it took not to reach out and gently move aside the soft blonde hair obscuring her face.
Kerry’s jaw was working, and her brow was knit. She turned her head towards her lover in almost slow motion. ”Yes, it is,”
she
responded thoughtfully. ”It’s cold, though.”
”Yeah,” Dar agreed softly, as she rubbed her arms with her hands.
Kerry studied the wagon’s occupants, noting the huddled duos with a speculative eye. Then she took in a breath, and expelled it.
”Dar?”
”Hmm?”
Kerry chewed her lower lip a minute. ”I’m over it,” she announced.
”I guess the world’ll just have to expand its horizons.”
Startled blue eyes regarded her. ”What exactly do you mean?”
The smaller woman shifted, then crawled the short distance between them and wrapped herself around Dar’s body, tucking her head into the hollow of her lover’s shoulder and exhaling. ”Is this explicit enough, or do I need to suck your tongue?”
Dar felt a surge of heat erupt, as a flush colored her skin, warming her rapidly. ”Uh, no, no, this is fine. I get the idea,” she blurted, knocked off balance by Kerry’s sudden change of heart. She put her arms around Kerry and settled back, letting their conjoined body heat chase away the chill of the air. ”What made you change your mind?”
Amazing, how fast a bad mood could vanish, whisked away on the cold wind.
Kerry thought about the question for a while, as she regarded the people around them. After a few initial, startled glances, they were 258
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being mostly ignored, which was fine with her. ”Well.” She picked up a stalk of hay and chewed it. ”I thought about how uncomfortable I felt about everyone staring at me, and then I weighed that against how comfortable I knew I’d feel if I was snuggling with you, and snuggling won.”
”Just like that?” Dar asked, in mild disbelief.
”Essentially, yeah,” Kerry replied. ”Oh, there was more to it, and I’m still wrestling with stuff, but I realized when I thought about it that you’ve been doing all that stuff ever since we, um...”
”Yeah.”
”So, just because we’re in a strange place, why should that matter?
I know I joked about them lynching people, but then I figured out if anyone’s got a problem here, you could probably kick their ass, so...”
Kerry shrugged. ”What the hell? I never rebelled as a teenager, maybe it’s time.”
”Oh.”
”Maybe I’ll get a tattoo.”
”Uh...” Dar peered at her. ”Don’t get all drastic on me, okay? How about we start with a rainbow sticker for your bumper.”
”I don’t know, Dar,” Kerry mused. ”A nice knot work design, around your name, right on my, um... ” She glanced down.
”Uh, Kerry. ” Blue eyes glanced at their neighbors, one of the older couples who were watching them with interest.
”Shoulder blade,” Kerry finished, with a twinkle in her eyes. ”I bet that guy at the desk knows where I could get one around here.”
”All right.” Dar gave her a look. ”Now you listen here, Kerrison Stuart. I am not going to stand by while you get my name tattooed on any part of your body in some hack shop in the backwoods, you hear me?”Kerry’s nose wrinkled up as she grinned. ”Would you do it?”
”Get your name tattooed on me?” Dar countered.
The blonde nodded, but said nothing.
The angular face went serious, suddenly intense as Dar met Kerry’s eyes and held them. ”I already have that,” she whispered, touching her chest above her heart with a finger. ”Written so deep there, nothing could ever remove it.”
Kerry just looked at her, forgetting their watchers, her eyes softening and carrying the sudden glitter of unshed tears. She started to speak, then shook her head, and buried her face in Dar’s shoulder.