Husband Sit (Husband #1) (24 page)

I
stared at him for the longest time, seeing hope shining in his eyes. Then I
swallowed back the lump in my throat. No wonder Fritha wanted me to marry him,
despite what she’d told him about Doug. And maybe she’d only done that to make
Finn jealous, so we’d get married, so we’d have babies. I’d never met anyone
I’d thought would be a wonderful father before. But Finn… I could see it all so
clearly—the two of us with a passel of noisy little mini-mes underfoot. He’d be
so patient, so gentle, reminding me that a crayon drawing on the carpet wasn’t
a good reason for infanticide. He’d make me laugh when I just wanted to cry.

Like
I did now.

Only,
“What if you decide you don’t want me anymore? Like you don’t want Katinka
now.” He must have loved her once. What if we had babies and he left me, like
he’d just left her?

My
question caught him off-guard and the light in his eyes dimmed. I could see he
was reassessing all the ground he’d imagined we’d made in the last ten minutes.
I took the time to remind myself of Missy Lou’s situation and how important it
was not to get lured into bad decisions. She was stuck with a terrible life. I
didn’t want to emulate that.

Luckily,
our meals arrived to break the tension and we ate in silence broken only by
polite conversation about the beautiful ocean and our pleasant surrounds. I was
grateful that he wasn’t pushing me any further. When we were finished eating, I
asked if I could leave, pleading a headache which wasn’t a lie.

I
was growing sadder by the minute and I just wanted to be alone. He insisted on
walking me back to my room and when I reached my door and got out my room key,
he said from behind me, “I’ll help you achieve your financial goals, Jill. I’m
sincere about that. I care about you as a friend, beyond the fact that I’m in love
with you. I want you to be happy.”

I
couldn’t look at him. I just knew I’d cry. So I nodded with my back to him.
“Too bad we fell in love cheating on your wife. That’s not the best template
for a faithful relationship.”

He
grasped my shoulders and gently turned me to face him, his expression solemn.
“Even when you’re pushing me away, I love everything about you. And I’m happy
to have any part of you in my life that you’re comfortable sharing.”

“I’m
not comfortable with this,” I said, glancing at his hand on my shoulder. He was
so close I could smell his light aftershave, and it made me think of moonlit
walks and skinny-dips in the ocean and steamy, sweaty sex with those large
hands sliding over my body. My emotions were all over the place and the desire
between us just confused me more.

He
removed his hands and stepped back a pace. “Sure. I’m sorry. We’ll stick with
business. So how’s this for a proposition?” With his hands in his pockets and
his head tilted back he looked every inch the successful businessman he clearly
was. “What if you come and live with me, and I pay ten thousand dollars a
week—”

“
No
.
Just no.” I wanted to shudder. The
last
thing I wanted was to be Finn’s
personal prostitute. I’d rather fuck a hundred other men than feel demeaned
like that.

“Okay.”
He took a deep breath. “That was a bad idea.”

“It
was.”

“But
jealousy isn’t an easy thing to live with. Just so you know.”

I
shook my head. “You weren’t jealous of Katinka. Is this because I’m fucking
men?”

“It’s
you,” he said quietly. “I’d be jealous of you patting a cat. I’d want it to be
me.”

Despite
my angst, that made me smile. “Now that the dreadlocks are gone, I can stop
worrying about you shedding.”

He
smiled back, and we had a brief moment of peace between us. “I’ll look into the
tea house idea.”

“Thank
you,” I said quietly. “And thanks for dinner. It was...fraught, but tasty.”

His
smile was slow to come. “Just like you. You’re certainly a unique individual
Jill Wilson. And for the record, I’ve
never
felt this way about anyone
else.” He was clearly trying to combat my
you left her, you’d leave me
line.

I
wanted to say
Neither have I
, but that didn’t fix anything, so I decided
to focus on Fritha and the tea house. That was something I hopefully could fix,
with Finn’s help. He was going to look at the proposal, and he seemed to know
what he was doing, which made me ask, “What do you do for work?” My assumptions
about him being some sort of programmer were probably all wrong.

“My
company sells software plugins for websites. I’ve created some of them, but
I’ve got a good team. We’ve done okay.”

I
nodded, wondering what
okay
meant. “So… you don’t need to work all the
time?”

“I
don’t need to work at all,” he said. “My office in Surfers Paradise was purely
to get me out of the house.” He shrugged. We both knew why. “The company is
actually based here in Sydney and has a manager who runs it. She briefs me on
anything I need to make decisions about, otherwise it’s her show.”

I
felt my hackles rise. “She’s smart then. Is she pretty?”

He
nodded.

“I
hate her.”

“She’s
happily married with a child on the way, does that help?”

“Okay,
I just resent her now.”

He
smiled that slow, sexy smile that completely undid me. “I really want to fuck
you right now. Just letting you know.”

I
was indecently turned on by his swearing. I knew he only did it for my benefit.
“Suave.”

He
shrugged again. “You bring out my best.”

“Goodnight
Finn.”

He
held out a hand before I could turn, and manners saw me shake it, trying very
hard not to be turned on by those large, warm fingers. He raised an eyebrow.
“I’ll be naked in the adjoining room. Just on the other side of that door. In
case you change your mind.”

Bastard.
He’d created that mind-picture
deliberately, and of course, I couldn’t help visualizing his very large cock.
Well, two could play at that game. “Sorry, but I’ll be catching up on sleep.
I’ve had so little in the last fortnight.” 
While I’ve been fucking an
athletic twenty-two year old, five times a night.

He
nodded, several times, and looked like he had his jaw clenched, but in the end
he only said, “Sleep well then.”

I
smiled sweetly, released his hand and let myself into my room without looking
back.

Snap!
Take that Mr. Teaser.

I
knew I shouldn’t be bantering with Finn, especially when he’d told me that
jealousy hurt, but damn him, I was hurting too!

But
I couldn’t walk away from the opportunity to make Fritha’s dream come true. Of
course, I hoped there was another way that didn’t involve more husband sitting.
But if I wasn’t going to get together with Finn, because I was worried he’d
leave me like he left Katinka, it didn’t matter if I did another month or two.
Uncomfortable though it was, it would be worth it to see Fritha happily running
the business she’d always wanted. Maybe then she’d give up on the bridesmaid
thing.

And
maybe I didn’t have to break my heart over Finn. Even if I was confused about
us,
I only needed to be with him now—in a non-sexual way—long enough to see if the
tea house idea was viable. There were ‘no strings attached’ to that offer.

Surely
I could do that for another day?

At
least I hoped I could. But as I showered away the nervous sweat of our dinner
date—our first date, I suddenly realized—I had to admit it would be damn hard
to stop thinking about bonking his brains out. Since I’d left his house in
Surfers Paradise, I hadn’t had a moment in his presence that I didn’t want to
rip his clothes off, even when I’d been furious with him. I hadn’t realized it
was possible to desire someone so much.

And
maybe it was because I’d decided he was off-limits. Or maybe it was because he
was constantly surprising me. When we’d first met, I’d thought he was quiet and
shy, but that was just one facet to his personality. Since then I’d seen so
many more. Unfortunately for me, every new version of him was lovable, and the
savvy, high-powered, business-owner version I’d seen tonight was particularly
sexy.

I
couldn’t help wondering if he had a boardroom with one of those long, polished
wood tables. Unfortunately, that got me started fantasizing about him ushering
me in there, locking the doors, stripping my clothes off and laying me on the
table so he could show me just how good his skills at cunnilingus were.

While
this fantasy was progressing, the jet of water from the shower head I’d been
using somehow found its way toward my pussy and before I knew it, I was
squirming against the shiny white tiles of the shower cubicle, trying very hard
not to squeal as a short, sharp orgasm clutched me and exploded across my clit.

I
felt weak after that, and tired. On the upside, my headache was gone. There was
something about the muscle relaxation post-orgasm that killed a tension
headache in mid-thump. But I had no energy for hunting up jobs, so I smeared
some body lotion on and had a big drink of water before I hit the sheets, which
were cool and smooth. Half an hour later I realized the air-conditioning was
keeping me awake. It was too cold and I didn’t want to muck around for an hour
trying to find the right temperature, so I crawled out of bed, switched it off
and opened the window to let in some warm sea air.

Immediately
I could hear the soft swishing of waves on the shore below. A faint sound of
traffic drifted up as well, but that was easily ignored. I bumbled back to bed
and slid in, my limbs heavy. Maybe I hadn’t lied about that fortnight of
fucking wearing me out. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this tired.

I
had a fleeting thought about Finn next door, helping me start up a business,
and I wished things were different between us—maybe that I’d met him at some
point in the future when I could get into a relationship, when he’d already
been divorce. Or if  he was just a friend, I could hug him and say
I love
you for helping me
because I felt so damned grateful in that moment. I’d
never been brilliant with money and had never bothered to educate myself about
investment. His mentorship might change my whole life. If I was clever about
this, I might get to the stage—as he was—where I never needed to work again.
That would be awesome!

And
it would only be because Finn cared about me as a friend, not just a
prospective fuck-buddy. That made me feel sentimental, and if I hadn’t been so
exhausted, I might have cried. As it was, I fell asleep so fast I forgot to set
an alarm.

Bad
mistake.

“Jill.
Wake up.”

I
felt a sting on my cheek and my bleary eyes wavered open.

Finn’s
face loomed into view.

“Wha-th-fuck,”
I slurred, and thrust out my hands to push him away. I looked around the room
and daylight was streaming in. Not early morning daylight. This was full sun.
“Wha-time?”

“It’s
after ten-thirty.”

“Oh.”
My arms flopped back onto the bed.

“Jesus,
Jill.” He was frowning so much I thought his forehead might collapse on itself.
“I tried texting and phoning. I even had reception phone you. They gave me a
key.”

I
swallowed down a furry taste in my mouth. “I’ll bet Melody was very helpful.”
Smarmy bitch had probably fallen over herself to be
accommodating
.

“I
thought you’d...” He looked away from me with some expression on his face that
I couldn’t decipher. I was too sleepy.

“What?”

“I
thought you’d overdosed on sleeping tablets or alcohol or something. I was
going to ring an ambulance.”

“I…what?”
I pushed my hair off my face and sat up in bed.

His
gaze dropped immediately to my boobs and I looked down and saw that I was naked
with the sheet at my waist. I pulled it up and tried not to be cranky. He looked
genuinely worried.

“I
sleep heavily. That’s all.” There’d been quite a few occasions at Simon’s house
where we’d been mid-fuck before I’d woken up properly. And last night I’d been
totally exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

Finn
shook his head and walked over to the window, looking down at the ocean for the
longest time. I stared at him, willing myself to wake up properly, to take
control of the situation, but all I could think was
I want that man in my
bed.
He was wearing lime board shorts and a white tank top over muscles
that hadn’t been there when I’d seen him naked a month ago. His back was so
beautiful I wanted to lick it all over.

Instead,
I licked my lips and tried to talk without slurring. “Have you been going to
the gym?”

He
glanced back at me and nodded, his mouth held in a tight line.

“Why?”

“You’re
fucking other men. I’ve got competition.”

I
shook my head, unable to comprehend that he’d been trying to make himself more
attractive to me. He was already the most fuckable man I’d ever met.

He
turned to face me, and finally said, “I thought you were dead.”

“I’m
not suicidal.”

“I
know.” He was unnaturally still, and it was obvious he was trying to calm
himself down. “I was scared and, because of the stomach pumping, I jumped to
conclusions.”

“If
you thought I was an alcoholic, why would you love me?”

He
swallowed hard. I could see his Adam’s apple move from where I sat. “I don’t
know. You’re a Husband Sitter, for chrissakes. All I know is that I’m past the
point of no return.”

I
felt my resistance soften, and I realized that beyond all the sex and love and
drama, I actually cared about Finn as a friend. I’d upset my friend, and that
made me feel bad. “I’m sorry I scared you. Do you want to go swimming before we
talk business?” It might settle him down. Water always did that for me.

He
took a deep breath. “Yes. That’s a good idea.”

“I’ll
need to get into my bikini.”

“Can
I watch?”

I’d
hoped to distract him from his angst with talk of swimming and bikinis, but I
hadn’t expected him to banter at me.

It
made me smile. “No you can’t.”

“Then
I’ll wait outside.”

“Five
minutes.”

His
eyebrows rose. “Wow. That’s fast. That’s
good
,” he added, as though
worried he’d offended me.

I
shrugged. “I don’t wear make-up to go swimming. I just have to brush my hair
and pee.”

“I’ll
treat you to a fine breakfast when we come back,” he promised. “We can talk
shop then. And I’ve got towels organized already. You just need to bring your
room key. Or...” He glanced down at the one in his hand.

“Or
you could bring my room key, now that you have a convenient copy of it.” I
smiled to take the sting out of my words.

“It
will test my willpower, but if it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep it.”

I
shrugged again. I didn’t imagine for a second that he’d break in without permission.
Clearly, he’d only done it this once because he’d thought there was an
emergency.

“Okay.”
He nodded, frowning again, as though he hadn’t expected my easy acceptance.
Then as he was turning away, he added, “I’d better ring Fritha back.”

I
had one leg out of the bed, with the sheet still clutched to my chest, waiting
for him to exit when his words registered, and suddenly every jealous fantasy
I’d had about the two of them slammed back into my brain. “Fritha?”

“I
was worried and—”

“Have
you got her on fucking speed dial?” Hot jealousy surged through my veins and I
had no hope of dampening it down. “Is she your go-to girl when you’ve got a
problem now? Your confidante and best buddy?”

What
was wrong with me? I almost added
You’ll be fucking her next
but
somehow, even amid the madness of my jealousy, I realized I’d never forgive
myself if I said that about Fritha.

“No,”
he said quietly, standing very still beside the door. “She’s your friend and I
thought she might know what was happening. As you keep telling me, I don’t know
you very well. She does.”

I
glared at him, not wanting to acknowledge the logic in his actions. All I could
think about was the two of them growing closer, sharing confidences, becoming
friends
,
like Finn wanted us to be. But I knew that friends was a step away from sex.
She already thought he was hot. Jesus, even their names went together—Fritha
and Finn. It was like they were made for each other, and it suddenly occurred
to me that if Finn was involved in setting up her tea shop, they’d probably
spend even more time together. And I couldn’t bear that.

I
just couldn’t.

“Jill,”
he said quietly, forcing me to look at him. “I don’t understand what’s going
on. But I want you to know I have zero sexual interest in Fritha. Nothing has
ever happened between us. Nothing ever will. She’s not going to become my
friend. She’s
your
friend. You are the only woman I’m sexually interest
in.”

His
quiet assurance in the face of my crazy jealousy should have infuriated me, but
something about his measured breathing quieted me down. Slowly, rationality
bled back in and I realized I’d look like a complete lunatic if I argued with
his statement, so I nodded. And even pushed myself to say, “So for future
reference, you wouldn’t bonk Angelina Jolie if she fell into your bed?”

His
delicious smile returned. “She’s far too predictable. I like to be surprised.”

By
hearing about what husband I’ve fucked lately?
I don’t think so.
But I
acknowledged his banter with, “Touché.”

“Then
I’ll meet you at the elevator.”

Still
expecting us to swim.

He
let himself out and when I was sure he wasn’t coming back, I got my naked butt
out of bed and ran through my morning ablutions, telling myself I could do
this. My hair was a mess so I brushed it into a ponytail and threw on my aqua
tie-side bikini and matching aqua sandals, snatching up sunglasses on the way
to the door, telling myself it was a business meeting, and that when our
business was concluded, I might never see him again. I also told myself this
was my holiday and I was damned well going to enjoy it.

At
the door, I realized that just because I was beachside, didn’t mean I could
walk around a five star hotel in a bikini, so I threw on an oversized white
tee-shirt and met Finn by the elevator, determined to stop being a freak-out
and act like a normal person. He gave my exposed legs a leisurely inspection.

“Like
what you see?” I asked cheekily.

“Swimming
might have been a bad idea.”

“
Your
idea.”

“Thanks,”
he said dryly. “Nothing like being held at arm’s length from the half-dressed
woman you’re crazy about. The Marquis de Sade would really get off on this.”

I
raised one eyebrow over the top of my sunglasses. “So did you get off last
night? I did. Spectacularly. Fabulous headache cure.”

Teasing
him was making me feel better already.

His
delicious mouth fell open and silence reigned for a full five seconds before
the elevator pinged opened in front of us.

I
stepped straight in and hit the button for the lobby. He only just managed to
get inside before the doors shut. Then he shuffled his towels lower, so they
were covering his groin. “Do you have to do that when we’re in public?” he said
softly, despite the fact that we were alone in the elevator.

“All
I’m saying is that a little light relief might ease the whole hot-and-bothered
thing you’ve got going on.”

“It
doesn’t.” He stared at the elevator doors.

I
couldn’t help smirking. Again with the
knowing it was wrong
, but I
seriously loved bantering with this guy. When the lift hit the lobby I led the
way out of the hotel, but didn’t get far before I realized I was alone. I
glanced back through the plate glass frontage of the hotel and saw Finn at
reception dropping off the keys. Melody was gushing over him and scoping out
his biceps.
Bitch.

I
stepped behind a pillar so she wouldn’t see me if she looked up. I was still
embarrassed about the whole sleeping-in thing. Not that I should care if they
thought I was a druggie. But I did. So in a way it was nice that Finn was
sorting out the details of our outing. I liked that. It made me feel cared for.
It also reminded me that it had been a
very
long time since anyone had
done that for me.

Doug
had been more of a
feminist-equality kind of guy, letting me do my own
thing. Finn had more old fashioned values, and I had to admit, being on the
receiving end of them was a lot nicer than I’d thought it would be. There was
nothing disempowering about it. In fact, it made me feel important and valued.

The
trouble was, I could get used to it, and that would only lead to disappointment
in the long run.

Finn
came up beside me, oblivious to my bleak thoughts. “It’s this way.” He pointed
across the road and we set off, stepping out from under the hotel portico into
the scorchy-beam sunlight that immediately stung my exposed arms. I couldn’t
wait to be in the water which was sparkling invitingly across the road—deep
azure with tiny whitecaps coasting in on the ocean breeze. As each wave
whooshed
up onto the pristine white sand, I felt my shoulders relax.

There
was something about the
big old blue
that filled me with an elemental
calm, so I was quite relaxed when Finn took my hand and led me across the road
during a break in the traffic. I’d been so intent on the water, I hadn’t
bothered to look for cars, so his careful shepherding warmed me inside as well,
not to mention that whenever his skin contacted mine, my pussy woke up and took
notice.

In
broad daylight, however, my emotions seemed to be taking a front seat over my
libido—never a good thing—and my imaginary checklist came out with a tick
beside
protective
which I struggled to ignore. When we were onto the
footpath beside the sand, Finn let go my hand—which then felt funny hanging by
my side, as if it didn’t know what to do with itself. He led me north to the
big tidal pool I could see wedged between the road and the ocean. It was a
paler blue, so probably shallow, which I liked. I wasn’t the strongest swimmer.

By
the time we reached the benches beside the pool I was over-heated, but that
would only make the swim more refreshing.

“This
will do.” Finn dropped the fluffy white hotel towels on an empty bench and
stripped off his singlet.

At
that point he was only wearing lime green board shorts slung low on his hips,
and there was no way I could be polite enough to glance away. I was staring,
from the top of those suntanned and honed shoulders across buffed biceps, an
amazing chest and the most lickable six-pack I’d
ever
seen.

The
sun was seriously overheating me, and all I could think about was dragging him
back to my room, stripping those board shorts off him and doing unspeakable
things to make
him
come, as many times as I could.

“You
bastard,” I said, and meant it.

I
couldn’t stop staring. Just couldn’t.

I
expected him to gloat, but he only frowned. “Your turn.” He nodded at my
tee-shirt.

“Right.”
I pulled it off and tossed it onto the towels along with my sunglasses.

“Okay,
that didn’t help.” He was staring back, his gaze lingering on my breasts and
then sliding down hotly across my thighs and down the length of my legs.