Hush (Black Lotus #3) (18 page)

“It wasn’t?”

“Each room housed three guys.”

I start laughing and it isn’t long before he joins me.

“I spent the whole night in my underpants snuggling with my roommate . . . Bean.”

“Bean?”

“Uh, yeah, he had a bit of a flatulence issue.”

I burst out laughing.

“Once I realized I wasn’t cuddling my girlfriend, it was too late. A few of my frat brothers were standing in the doorway, snapping photos of the supposed indiscretion.”

“What did your girlfriend say?”

“Ah, well, she was upset I got drunk and ignored her all night, and that was the end of her.”

“You’re an ass,” I snicker, to which he replies, “So I’ve been told.”

I startle and clutch my fishing rod when it’s nearly yanked out of my hands. Grabbing ahold of the reel, I struggle to crank it.

“I need help,” I call, and Declan sets his rod down, moves behind me, and grips the rod.

“You’ve got something big,” he says when he puts his hand over mine and helps me reel in the line just like my dad used to.

I let him take control and move my hand with his. The fish fights us for a bit, and when it approaches the water’s surface, I see how substantial it is.

“What is that?” I ask excitedly.

He pulls it up, announcing, “It’s a big fucking bass.” He kneels, pinning the fish down with his foot, and removes the hook. “You want to keep it? We could have the chef in the kitchen prepare it for dinner tonight.”

Looking at the fish flopping around, I tell him, “No. Let him live.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Declan drops the bass into the water, looks over the pier’s edge, and watches him as he swims down, disappearing into the lake.

I bait my hook and return to our conversation, saying, “A part of me always wanted to do the whole college thing.”

“You still could.”

With shame, I confess to him, “I never even graduated high school, Declan.”

He looks at me and there’s a hint of surprise in his eyes. “How far did you get?”

“I never finished the ninth grade. When Pike turned eighteen, I ran away with him, so school was out of the question because I’d get busted by the state. I was always a good student though, made excellent grades. I loved reading and learning, so I had Pike buy me all the materials to get my GED even though it would never be official. Since I was still underage and in the system, I couldn’t use my real name for anything.”

“And when you were of age?”

“By then, it didn’t matter. I knew we’d never have the means for me to ever go to college, so what was the point of going back to get my GED?” I say. “I did what I could though. I’d pick classes that interested me out of the local college class catalog and Pike would buy me the textbooks from a used bookstore. I’d read them, and in a pathetic way, it made me feel like I was making something of myself.”

“You were.”

“All I did was make a
mess
of myself.”

“That too,” he responds in light jest. “But you’re bright and well-spoken. No one would ever suspect you only made it to the ninth grade. You’re an incredible woman who’s fighting hard to make things right.”

“Things will never be right.”

“Maybe the past won’t, but right here, in this moment, this is where it all changes,” he says. “You can do anything you want to do.”

His confidence in me is powerful, making me feel like there’s a future to look forward to. That the choices I make won’t be for naught. And maybe he’s right—maybe it’s the here and now that I need to focus on to move forward. I’ve always been running, and now, for the first time, I no longer have to. I can stand here, in one place, and know that with Declan by my side, I’ll be okay.

So with a little bit of optimism, I tell him, “I want to finish high school.”

He smiles, pride in his eyes, and says, “We can get all the details on what needs to be done tomorrow. But tonight, I’m taking you out.”

“A date?”

“It’ll be a first for us.”

After catching too many perch to count, we decide I win based on the bass alone. Being able to be out with Declan, free from lies and games in this city where we used to hide, feels great. This is where we fell in love, but that life was always tainted, and now . . . now we can create something new.

With the goofy shirt Declan bought me crumpled on the bathroom floor, I finish the last of my makeup after a long shower. Walking into the bedroom, I can see Declan out in the living room sipping Scotch. He looks good as he waits on me, dressed in his usual look—a sleek designer suit, tailored to perfection.

I pick out a flattering navy shift dress that I purchased on my shopping trip with Davina. After I slip it on, I step into a pair of nude heels and join Declan. We then make our way down to the lobby where his roadster is waiting out front.

We drive through the night to Cité, an upscale restaurant that’s perched atop Lake Point Tower. We’re seated next to the windows, which provide stunning views of the lake and city, and Declan takes the chair right next to me instead of across the table.

He was right—this is a first for us. We’ve never been on a date, and then it hits me that
I’ve
never been on a date. Not a real one, not with a man I love. The thought causes me to smile and Declan takes notice.

“What’s that grin all about?”

“Nothing,” I tell him, feeling a bit juvenile.

“That’s not nothing behind those blue eyes of yours. Spill it.”

“You’re pushy, you know that?”

“I’m aware. And I’m waiting.”

“Fine,” I exhaust. “I was just sitting here, thinking . . . It’s really silly.”

“Humor me.”

“Aside from fallacies . . . this is my first date.”

“Ever?” he says in curiosity.

“Ever.”

He slips his hand under the table and places it on my thigh, giving me a gentle squeeze. We order wine and he insists on the Siberian caviar service, promising I’ll love it—and I do.

“You’re quite divergent, you know that?” I say, setting my wine glass down.

“Why’s that?”

“I remember you taking me to breakfast at that diner when I first met you. Stale coffee and pancakes.”

“The Over Easy Café does not have stale coffee,” he immediately defends, and I laugh, bantering, “Whatever you say. But, now, you have me here, drinking a bottle of wine that’s so expensive, it’s obscene.”

“You don’t like it?”

“I never said that; it’s just a contrast from the ‘not stale’ coffee and the hot dog you ate from the street vendor today.”

“So what would you prefer?” He leans closer to me and slips his hand back on my thigh.

“I like your contradictions,” I admit as he runs his hand under the hem of my dress. My body tenses and I shift my eyes around the room, wondering if anyone knows what’s happening under the table linens.

“You nervous?”

Giving him my attention, I ask, “You like making me nervous?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” My voice trembles when his fingers hit the lace of my panties and then he nudges against my thigh for me to uncross my legs—and I do.

“Because I like testing you,” he confesses, shifting my panties over. “To see how far you’ll let me push you.”

“When have I ever stopped you?”

“Never,” he whispers on a husky voice at the same time he shoves one of his fingers inside my pussy.

I gasp.

He smiles.

Pride and domination color his eyes in heated black.

“You want me to stop?”

“No,” I breathe, and he drags his finger out of me and rolls my clit in slow circles.

“Tell me why you yield like this to me.”

“Because I love you.”

He thrusts his finger back inside of me. “Say it again.”

My breath catches, stammering unevenly as I resist the urge to grind down on his hand, nearly whimpering the words, “I love you.”

He abruptly pulls out of me, leaving me yearning, and shifts my panties back over to cover me. My chest rises and falls noticeably as I watch him bring his hand up to his mouth and suck my arousal off his finger.

Unsatisfied and aching, I make it through dinner, and when the bill is paid, I’m quick to leave. Declan’s cocky smirk should irritate me, but it only makes me want to fuck him more. He takes my hand, and once we’re on the elevator, he further tests me by refusing to touch me. My body is on high-alert, sensitive to every element, begging to be touched—but he doesn’t engage me.

“Asshole,” I mutter under my breath, and he smiles.

The elevator doors open and as soon as we exit the building, my steps halt the moment I see her.

She stops in her steps as soon as she sees me, her eyes narrowing into daggers. It’s a look I’ve never seen her wear, but it’s wasted on me.

“You’re back,” she states.

“It’s nice to see you too, Jacqueline,” I condescend.

“Jacqueline?” Declan questions to himself, but we all hear.

“You,” she accuses, looking at Declan. “You son of a bitch!”

“You’re sorely mistaken,” I butt in. “Your husband—”

“Is dead! Because of you two,” she accuses. Her loud voice grabs the attention of a couple passersby, but they keep moving. She then looks down at my hand linked with Declan’s. “And how fast you move on, Nina.”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve. This coming from the woman who not only fucked my husband but was stupid enough to get pregnant. So, don’t you dare stand there like you’re a goddamn ice princess,” I lash out while Declan allows me to handle her on my own.

Tears rise and then fall down her cheeks when she explodes, “You killed my husband! I have nothing because you took it away from me!”

“I didn’t take shit from you. I freed you from that asshole. He fucking raped me and tortured me! And look at you,” I belittle. “Standing there like
you’re
the victim when you should be thanking me for ridding the world of that piece of shit.”

Beyond what he did to me, my blood boils when I think of what Richard did to Declan’s mother and the part he played in my father’s life.

“How dare you tarnish his name with your lies. He’d never—”

“You can’t be that ignorant. Surely you know by now the man he was, yet you’re so weak that you’re still defending him.”

“What am I supposed to do? My life is over! My name doesn’t mean anything anymore. And because of you, I’m left with nothing. Everything I ever had has been seized. I’ve been ostracized by everyone and I’m buried in debt.”

“And yet you blame me,” I say. “I guess you got what you deserved for marrying that asshole and screwing around with a married man. It seems all you have is the hope that your bastard son doesn’t grow up to hate you, since he now carries all the wealth.” My smile grows. “Must suck to know all that money is within reach, and yet Bennett forbade you from touching it because he hated you.”

“You bitch!”

“You’re done here,” Declan barks, stepping between us. “That man you married was a cold-blooded killer. Accept it or not, I don’t really give a fuck, but don’t place blame where it doesn’t belong.”

Not allowing another second to pass, he leads me to his car, leaving her crying, alone, on the sidewalk. Declan closes my door, and I look at her through the window, hating her for the mere fact that she loved and supported such an evil man. A man who left me stripped naked for days while he degraded and humiliated me, beat me, and sodomized me. A man who took so much from both my life and Declan’s.

Declan speeds off, and I refuse to let the memories of what Richard did to me come to life.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I snap.

I can’t talk because all I can do right now is focus on forcing those memories back into the deep cave of my soul. Pinching my eyes closed, battling against myself, I hear the ringing in my head, and it feels like an axe to my skull.

I clamp my hands over my ears, and I don’t even notice Declan pulling the car over. He reaches out to me and touches my arm, and when I open my eyes, I see Richard’s smug face instead of Declan’s. My body coils back, lurching away from him, and I scream, “Don’t fucking touch me!”

“Elizabeth, it’s okay,” he insists, unbuckling my seatbelt and banding his arms around me as I fight against the high-pitched ringing in my head.

I release a wretched scream, my voice bleeding, “Make it stop!”

“Open your eyes and look at me,” he demands on a hardened voice. He grabs hold of my head and forces me to focus on him. “Breathe. I need you to breathe with me.”

Everything around me and within me is a demented chaos of sounds, voices, visions. A hurricane spinning with inconceivable force, but his eyes remain still and steady. He’s the one unwavering element in this maelstrom, and it takes all the effort in me to focus on him—on his words.

“That’s it, darling. Just breathe,” he encourages when I feel my lungs inflate.

My eyes never waver, and soon everything dulls into a low hum that I’m eventually able to silence. He’s managed to chase away the demons I couldn’t fight off on my own.

And it’s here, in the ink of night, on a deserted side street, that I must face the fact that I undoubtedly need Declan.