Hush (Black Lotus #3) (33 page)

And I laughed.

That was all it took.

For a couple weeks Declan has postponed all his meetings and has given Lachlan time off. Declan and I need this time for us to be together and to mend. I feel myself healing little by little.

Declan has been showing me around the city. We’ve dined everywhere from The Tipperary to the Michelin-awarded Le Gavroche. I fed the ducks at St. James Park, and Declan couldn’t hold in his laughter when two geese started chasing after me. The next day, we opted for Hyde Park where we were able to lay under the sun, wrapped in each other’s arms. We kissed and talked for hours that afternoon. And then there was the London Eye. Despite my fear of heights and Ferris wheels, I threw caution to the wind and got on. Although I never got off the bench in the center of the glass capsule, Declan appreciated my effort.

We’ve been desperate for this time together, and now that we have it, we want more.

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Declan asks as we lie in bed, bodies naked and sticky with the smell of our sex in the air.

“Back to Brunswickhill.”

“Of all places, you choose our home in Scotland?”

“I love it there.”

Running his fingers lazily through my hair, he comments, “You love it that much?”

With my head tucked under his chin, I nod and then kiss his neck as I drape my leg over his hip. Declan grabs my ass and pulls me closer to him, forcing my pussy to grind against his hardening cock. Eager for him to fill me again, I reach down, take him in my hand, and guide him inside of me.

“Fuck me, baby,” he growls in need, and when he rolls onto his back, I reach my hands behind me to grab his thighs. Opening my body up to him even more in this position, I fuck him as his hands touch every part of me—caressing, squeezing, pinching. He drives me wild, making me cum all over him, the whole time reaffirming my place in his world—in his heart.

“Let’s go there,” he says in a heavy breath as our hearts slow.

“Where?”

“Your fairytale castle.” He gives me a sexy smirk, and I release a soft laugh when excitement swells at the thought of going back to Scotland.

Something happens to me physically as we drive through the gates of Brunswickhill. I can’t fully explain it, but maybe this is what home feels like. It’s just the two of us, hand in hand, and for the first time in a very long time, my heart doesn’t feel so heavy.

When we get to the top of the winding drive, I hop out of the car, drop my head back, take in a deep breath, and smile.

“What are you doing?”

Declan wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in close, and with my lips still painted in joy, I tell him, “It feels good to be back.”

“This house is your home now.”

“I’ve never had this before. I’ve never known home until right now—right here with you.”

“It’s a first for me too, darling, but I wouldn’t want this with anyone but you.”

His lips land on mine, taking me in a claiming kiss as my hands get lost in his hair. I taste his happiness when he dips his tongue inside my mouth and glides it along mine. This foreign feeling that swirls inside me takes me over and laughter slips out. He doesn’t stop dropping kisses on me though, and it’s only a matter of seconds when he begins to laugh too.

“What’s so funny?” he mumbles against my mouth.

I pull back and look up at him. “I’m just happy.”

Declan walks back to the Mercedes and pops open the hatchback to the SUV to grab our luggage, and as he does, I turn to look at the large, tiered fountain.

“Declan, look!” Amazed by the blooms, I walk over to the massive fountain and inhale the earthy scent.

“They’ve always bloomed in there,” he tells me as I look in wonderment at all the lotus flowers.

White mixed with every hue of pink, each one flawless despite the murky water they rose from. They glow as they bask in the sunshine.

“They’re so beautiful.”

“Come here,” he says. “I want to show you a part of the house you’ve never seen.”

We walk inside the double doors, and he drops our luggage in the foyer, taking my hand and leading me up the stairs all the way to the third floor and into his office.

“What are you doing?” I question as he runs his hand along the wall.

When he stops moving, he casts his eyes to me and, with a smile, gives the wall a push.

“Are you kidding me?” I laugh in surprise when it’s revealed that a portion of the wall is a hidden spring-loaded partition that opens up to a secret spiral staircase.

“Come on.”

I follow him up the narrow stairs, and when we reach the top, there’s another door that he opens. My eyes widen in amazement when I step out onto the rooftop, exposing a panoramic view of all of Galashiels. Declan reaches out for me, knowing my fear of heights, and walks me to the wall’s edge.

“You see that river?” he asks as he points out.

“Yes.”

“That’s the River Tweed. It divides Galashiels from Abbottsford. And you see that castle-like estate down there?”

“Yes.”

“That’s Sir Walter Scott’s home.”

“The poet?”

“Yes.”

“That’s no home,” I note as I look at the majestic estate that’s nestled down below from where Declan’s estate sits perched high on this hill. “That’s a palace!”

He chuckles. “It’s a museum now. There’s also a quaint restaurant that’s known for their shortcakes in there.”

We walk the border of the rooftop, and I look down to the grounds below, admiring all the colorful blooms that are coming to life as the weather warms. The past couple months of spring have done wonders, exposing more pebbled creeks that stream down various hills. There are too many flowers to count, along with a few stone benches—some that rest under trees and some that are out in the open. From up here, I can see the grassy paths that lead from one garden nook to the next, to the next, and to the next. A part of me feels like I’m cheating myself of the wanderlust of exploring and getting lost in the maze down there.

My very own Wonderland.

“It’s stunning, isn’t it?”

“It’s breathtaking,” I say and then turn to face him, pressing my body against his with my arms wrapped around his waist. “I never thought anything like this could exist in this world.”

“I feel the same when I look at you.”

We stand here, on the rooftop of our own personal castle, and wrap ourselves around each other. Declan cradles my head to his chest as he plants kisses down on me. We hug; it’s all we need to do in this moment of much-needed peace, and finally, I can breathe. The weight of the world’s afflictions are becoming less and less suffocating as I continue to move along this path Declan is providing me. Of course a part of me still aches for my dad and for my brother, but that’s a sadness I’ll have to brave for the rest of my life. There’s simply no cure for heartbreaks that surpass unfathomable agony. Some wounds run so deep that there’s no possibility of healing. But here, with Declan, I’m hoping one day the pain will become more tolerable.

“I was thinking about something on the plane ride here,” Declan says, breaking the silence between us. “We should go to The Water Lily.”

I smile when I think about Isla. Staying with her when I was at my ultimate lowest, thinking Declan had died at the hands of Pike, was probably the best place I could’ve wound up. We had so many great conversations, and I realize now that I know so much about his grandmother when he’s never really spoken to her.

“Isla has a beautiful heart,” I tell him. “I miss her.”

“Why do you think she never said anything to me? She has a photo of me in her room and she knows who I am.”

I see the little boy lost deep within his eyes as I look him. “Maybe she was scared. Maybe she didn’t know what to say.”

“Maybe,” he responds. “How about we pay her a visit tomorrow? Let’s take the rest of the day for us.” He leans down and kisses me before saying, “Take a walk with me.”

We head back down the hidden staircase and then down to main floor of the house. Walking through the atrium, we make our way outside.

“Everything looks so different than it did when we left a couple months ago,” I say as we stroll aimlessly through the flowers.

We make our way up a stone pathway that runs alongside the clinker grotto and then wander along another grassy path, weaving through trees and stepping over a narrow babbling brook. I look down at the house, and laugh to myself when I see the huge gaps that still remain in the now-flowering bushes that rim around the exterior wall.

“What’s so funny?”

“I still can’t believe you ripped out all the purple bushes,” I tell him, and when he looks down to the house to see the gaps, he shrugs. “My darling hates purple,” he says nonchalantly and continues to walk.

“Sit with me,” he says when we find ourselves surrounded by bright yellow daffodils.

I settle myself between Declan’s legs and back against his chest as he sits behind me. We both look out among the flowers as I sink into his hold.

“Tell me you’re happy,” he says, and I answer honestly, “I’m happy.”

“You know, the first time I ever saw you, I knew I had to have you.” I rest my head against him as I listen to him speak. “I’d never felt that intensely about anyone before. I can still remember how beautiful you looked that night in your navy silk dress and long red hair. I was beyond fascinated by you.”

“And I remember you, not even wearing a bow tie to your own black tie affair,” I tease.

“I know our start was fucked up, but I wouldn’t change it. Because without it, we wouldn’t have
this
.”

“I’ll never forgive myself though.”

“I need you to know something.” The seriousness in his tone makes me sit up and turn to face him. “I need you to know that I’ve forgiven you, and that hate I used to feel towards you . . . it’s no longer there.”

His words soothe, and when he begins to kaleidoscope, I blink him into clarity. But these tears don’t hurt—they heal. He places his hands on my cheeks and kisses me again.

“You give yourself to me in a way no other woman could. And even if they could, I wouldn’t want them to. I’m not perfect—you’ve even called me out on my flaws a few times, but you’ve never thrown them in my face with ridicule,” he says with gratitude. “And when I tell you that I need you, I mean it. I can’t battle this world without you by my side. You’re the bravest woman I know.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. My God, the life you’ve been dealt, everything you’ve had to endure, and here you are, still fighting. Still trying.”

“Because of you,” I tell him. “Every breath is a choice, and I choose to keep taking them for you.”

“I’m going to give you a long life filled with breaths then,” he affirms before he takes my face in his hands and looks steadfastly into my eyes. “I once told you that the truest part of a person is the ugliest.”

“I remember that night.”

“The ugliest parts of you are your darkest. And trust me when I tell you that I want to love all of your darkest parts.” He reaches into his pocket, and my heart beats a beat I’ve never felt before as he pulls out a ring. “And I promise you that I will love all of your darkness if you promise to love mine too.”

“Declan . . .”

“Marry me.”

And that was the moment all my dreams came true. We sat there in the garden of daffodils as he held that ring, which embodied exactly what we were between his fingers—two people who harbored so much darkness. The cushion-cut diamond was brilliant and so very black with intricate facets, encircled with tiny, sparkling white diamonds that also adorned the delicately thin platinum band.

But it wasn’t the ring, it was him. It was always him. The only one who was strong enough to love me for me. He took all my rot and all my scars and somehow made me feel like a true princess.

My whole life, I was waiting for someone to save me, and he did. I knew in that moment that I would never be unloved, I would never be abandoned, and I would never be left to fight the monsters alone.

“Yes!”

My eyes never leave his beautiful face as he slips the ring on to my finger, and once in place, I throw myself into his arms, knocking him back to the ground. And we kiss like no two people have ever kissed. I pour my soul into his mouth as his hands grip me tightly—we’re so needy for closeness.

But that closeness is severed the moment I hear the
snick.

I jump back and turn in an instant to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol.

“You move, I shoot her,” the man snarls to Declan. But I know Declan isn’t armed right now.

We’re helpless.

I’m frozen in place. I can’t even feel my heart beating anymore.

“This is vengeance. Your father fucked with the wrong family the moment he handed my brother’s name over to the feds sixteen years ago. But because I’m sadistic, I’m going to give you the choice. Either you die or your father dies. You have five seconds.”

I turn to Declan, already knowing my choice as I mouth
I love you
through razor-sharp tears.

“Elizabeth, no!”

“Don’t hurt my dad. Kill me.”

“Eliz—”

BANG.