In spite of the many issues whirling around in Dupree’s mind, she’d not only slept peacefully without awakening once—not even for a bathroom break—but didn’t roll out of bed until after ten a.m. Had it not been for Alex jumping on the bed and head-butting her in the back, wanting her undivided attention, she might have slept the whole day and missed her rendezvous with T.J.
She lounged around for a while, then took a quick shower, got dressed, pulled her hair back into a ponytail, gulped a cup of coffee, inhaled a pumpernickel bagel, and cruised out the door.
The subway that ran from the Village north to Central Park—the “C” train—was only a few blocks away. As always, the train was standing room only. Dupree was about to sit in the only available seat, but she surrendered it to a senior citizen. During her ride, she couldn’t help but wonder what was up with T.J. Her curiosity was almost unbearable. She hadn’t the slightest clue what he wanted. Suddenly, she recalled his hand on her cheek. Brenda’s observation. The chair massage. Could it be that he…? She didn’t even want to think about it.
Dupree got off the train at 105
th
Street and leisurely strolled into Central Park toward the fountain in the Conservatory Garden. She looked at her watch. One-forty. Plenty of time. On her way, she took in all the wonders of this beautiful, eight-hundred-forty-three acre marvel, letting all her senses enjoy the smell, the view, and the sounds of nature. As she made her way along the path deeper into the park, she inhaled deeply and could smell the sweet aroma of cherry blossoms, daffodils, and morning glory. People whizzed by her on rollerblades, skateboards, and
bicycles. She saw families enjoying private picnics, people tossing Frisbees, couples walking hand in hand.
As much as Dupree loved the park, it served as a poignant reminder of her solitary life. Aside from her newfound relationship with Leona Crawford, she had no family, few friends, and the focal point of her existence was her career. She had no idea where she’d be in five years, nor did she anticipate that any factors might change her situation.
There was also another issue that troubled Dupree. Whenever she closed a case, she felt an immediate rush of adrenalin, an inexplicable feeling of accomplishment. But like a drug, the euphoria wore off quickly, and then she’d crash, needing another “fix.” In fact, after closing an investigation, she would often feel terrified that she’d never solve another murder case again. She’d never really spoken to anyone about this phenomenon, but maybe it was time for her to lie on a leather sofa and bare her soul.
Dupree could now see the fountain; its perimeter, a circular bench around the water, accommodating dozens of people resting their feet, sipping sodas, eating ice cream cones, and munching popcorn. Several wooden benches were positioned across from the fountain. On one particular bench, she spotted T.J.
He wasn’t alone.
A woman Dupree didn’t recognize was sitting next to T.J. As she moved closer, she could see them talking, laughing, and sitting unusually close to each other. The young woman had long, wavy auburn hair, and from that distance, she looked very attractive. Approaching them slowly—Dupree didn’t think that T.J. had noticed her yet—she could see that the woman was very young. Early twenties. Maybe even younger.
As Dupree moved closer, she could see T.J. pointing at her and he whispered something in the young woman’s ear. The woman fixed her eyes on Dupree and watched her walking toward the bench.
T.J. looked at his watch. “Right on time.” He moved closer to Dupree and gave her a quick hug. “I’d like you to meet someone.”
The young woman stood and smiled. Now close enough to get a good look at her, Dupree thought that she was as attractive as a Glamour Magazine cover girl. She felt a twinge of envy.
“Amaris Dupree,” T.J. said. “Meet Ashley Martin.”
She offered her hand to Ashley and the young woman firmly grasped it. Still holding Ashley’s hand, Dupree carefully studied her face and saw something familiar in her eyes. Images of Dupree’s mother flashed through her mind. Her cheeks blushed red. Could it be?
“T.J. has told me a lot about you,” Ashley said, her voice a little shaky.
Like three mannequins, they stood motionless, staring at each other as if lost for words.
Ashley moved closer to Dupree. “Um, I don’t know quite how to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. I’m…”
“My
daughter
?”
Dupree could feel her hands trembling and her heart flutter in her chest; it felt as if a giant butterfly was trapped in her lung. Her knees nearly gave out. She studied Ashley’s eyes again and could now see the resemblance. She had her grandmother’s high cheekbones and wide set eyes. Dupree looked at T.J. and then at Ashley, her eyes cloudy with tears.
“I need to sit down,” Dupree said, her voice unsteady and barely audible. Tears were now running down her cheeks. She tried to suppress the sobbing but had no control over her feelings. “This can’t…be happening,” she whispered.
Ashley nestled beside her and draped her arm around her mother’s shoulders.
“How did you find me?” Dupree asked Ashley.
“T.J. found
me
.”
Dupree looked at T.J. and swallowed hard. “How did you do this?”
T.J. cocked his head to one side. “Let’s just say that I know people who know people. And when you have the right contacts, you can find almost anyone—even Osama bin Laden.”
Wobbly-legged, Dupree carefully stood up and wrapped her arms around T.J. and gave him a bear hug for what seemed like an eternity. She kissed him on the cheek. “I just don’t know what to say, T.J. I…I—”
“You two have a lot of catching up to do. Call me later and we’ll talk.”
“It was wonderful to meet you, Ashley,” T.J. said. “I hope to see you again.”
The two women watched T.J. walk away.
“He’s quite a guy,” Ashley said.
“That he is.”
As cliché as it seemed, Dupree literally had to pinch herself to be sure this wasn’t a dream. All these years. All the pain and emptiness and tears. And here she was. Her daughter. Standing only inches away from her.
Dupree grasped Ashley’s hand and squeezed it. “I want to know everything about you.”
They engaged in small talk for a few minutes but neither asked the obvious, most compelling questions. Dupree was still reeling.
After a long searching look, Ashley asked, “Why did you give me up for adoption?”
The question pierced Dupree’s conscience like a dagger. “Because I was a self-destructive, stupid kid. I had no business being a mother and I wanted you to have a good life.”
“How come you never tried to find me all these years? Didn’t you want to have some kind of relationship with your flesh and
blood daughter? I mean, weren’t you curious about me, who I was?”
“You have no idea how many times I desperately tried to find you.” Dupree explained the confidentiality clause in the adoption agreement. “I even hired three private detectives, but all of my attempts to locate you failed.” Dupree had her own questions but wanted to tread lightly. “When did you find out that you were adopted?”
“My parents…well, I mean step-parents actually, told me on my fifth birthday. They believed it would have less of an impact if I found out at a young age.”
“Did you ever ask your parents to search for me?”
“No.” Ashley’s face tightened. “I assumed you wanted nothing to do with me, so I never made an attempt to contact
you
.”
Both Dupree and Ashley studied each other’s eyes.
“Tell me about your parents.”
“They’re really wonderful people. They’ve always been supportive of me and have always treated me like their own daughter.”
Dupree was delighted to hear that. But she couldn’t help but wonder if she would have been as good a parent. The mere thought of it, choked her up again. “So, Ashley, where do you live?
“In Thousand Oaks, a suburb of Los Angeles.”
“About how far is it from San Diego?”
“If the freeway traffic is moving, which isn’t very often, it’s about a ninety-minute ride.”
“What are you doing right now? In college? Working?”
“Freshman year at UCLA.”
“That’s fantastic! What course of study?”
“Earth and Environmental Science.”
“So, what kind of career are you looking for?”
“Not sure yet.” Ashley pointed to the lush greenery around them. “I’ll probably become a tree-hugger.”
After another twenty minutes of small talk, Dupree looked at her watch. “Where are you staying?”
“At the Yotel in Times Square. I know. The name is strange but it’s a really nice place.”
“I never heard of it, but New York has thousands of hotels. How long are you going to be in New York?”
“I leave midday on Monday. I wanted to stay longer, but orientation begins next Wednesday.”
Dupree had experienced her share of emotional pain throughout her life. But the mere thought of her daughter leaving on Monday was more than she could bear.
“Here’s a crazy thought,” Dupree said, her voice unsteady. “Why don’t you check out of your hotel and come stay with me until you leave? I could be your tour guide and show you the city.”
Ashley didn’t answer immediately. Instead she stared past Dupree with a peculiar look on her face. Was Dupree pushing too hard? Did her invitation place Ashley in an awkward situation?
“I’d love to, but are you sure that’s okay? I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”
Dupree let out a heavy breath of relief. “I’ve been searching for you for eighteen years, Sweetheart. Trust me, it’s not at all inconvenient.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
To Dupree, driving Ashley to the airport proved far more painful than when she’d first given her up for adoption. As a confused teenager, what had Dupree known about love, family, or parenthood? But now, after years of emotional torture and profound guilt, having no idea when or if she’d ever see Ashley again, Dupree felt gripped with fear and apprehension. Although Ashley’s behavior during her visit suggested that she was thrilled to finally meet her biological mother, once back home in a familiar and safe environment, perhaps Ashley would conclude that she didn’t need her biological mother to be part of her life.
Dupree and Ashley exchanged few words; the mood in the car was oppressive. Dupree kept taking her eyes off the road and looking at her daughter’s pretty face. She wanted each glance to be like a photograph etched in her mind, a snapshot she could recall whenever she needed to fill the emptiness in her heart.
As expected, the time she had spent with Ashley seemed like a nanosecond. But Dupree couldn’t believe how much they’d crammed into such a short period.
“So,” Dupree said, mouth so dry she was unable to swallow, “tell me…what do you think of New York?”
“It’s awesome. I just love it!”
“Out of everything we did and the landmarks we visited, what was your favorite?”
“I loved the Statue of Liberty, the Guggenheim Museum, and of course the pizza.
But…” She paused and firmly held Dupree’s hand. “What I enjoyed most was getting to know you.”
Merging onto the entrance ramp for Interstate 678, Dupree wasn’t sure she could restrain herself much longer. In less than twenty minutes, she’d drop Ashley off at the terminal and her daughter would soon be on a plane back to LA. Dupree’s emotions were so bottled up inside that she just wanted to pull the car onto the shoulder, hold Ashley tight, and cry like she never cried before. She had no idea how she’d found the strength to hold it together as long as she had.
A burning question hung in the back of Dupree’s throat—a question she felt terrified to ask. But the terminal was just ahead and time was running short. “When do you think I’ll see you again, Ashley?”
“Once I start school, my schedule will likely be crazy-busy. I haven’t yet seen the school calendar—I guess they’ll go over that during the orientation on Wednesday. But I’m sure I’ll be home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and of course, spring break. I doubt I’ll be able to visit you in New York until next summer. But you’re more than welcome to visit me in LA anytime—even during the school year. I might not have a lot of free time, but I’m sure I can juggle my schedule.”
Ashley sounded sincere and her open invitation eased Dupree’s angst. “You may just see me sooner than you think. I’m planning a vacation to San Diego to meet a friend, and maybe—”
“That’s fantastic! I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. No matter how busy I am with school, I’ll find a way to spend some time with you.”
Dupree pulled to the curb, turned on her hazard lights, and flipped the trunk release. She and Ashley met at the back of the car. She helped her daughter remove the luggage and closed the trunk lid.
“Well,” Dupree said. “I guess this is it.”
They held each other tightly, and Dupree kissed Ashley’s cheek and patted her back. “I love you, Ashley. I thank God for bringing you into my life.”
Ashley blinked several times, her eyes were wet with tears. She reached in her purse and removed a manila envelope. “This is for you.”
“What is it?”
“See for yourself.”
Dupree was about to tear open the envelope when an airport security guard waved his flashlight. “Let’s move it along. This is a drop-off-pick-up area only.”
Dupree thought about flashing her badge, but didn’t want to risk a confrontation in front of Ashley. Some TSA agents abused their authority and knew little about professional courtesy.
“Call me when you get to LA.”
“I will. And you can call me, text me, or send an e-mail anytime. We can even Skype.”
“I’ll keep in touch, Honey.”
“As soon as you confirm your trip to the west coast, let me know.”
“I will.”
Dupree watched her daughter enter the terminal. She didn’t think it was physically possible but felt certain her heart shivered. The annoying airport security guard again waved his flashlight.
“Okay. Okay. I’m leaving.”
Dupree hopped in her car and squealed her tires as she pulled away from the curb, her mind flooded with jumbled thoughts and inexplicable feelings. Just before she reached the airport exit, she pulled to the curb, tears streaming down her cheeks, blurring her vision. She picked up the manila envelope and tore it open. Inside she found a high school graduation photograph of Ashley. In the lower right hand corner, Ashley had signed the photo.