I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles) (9 page)

“I want my daughter with me,” the woman said.

The officer turned and looked at her. Then he smiled
before he hit the mother with the handle of the gun. The little girl screamed.

“Go right!” the officer screamed at the mother.

My heart started racing with anger. As he grabbed the
young girl by the hair and looked at her I felt fury rushing through my veins.
It was a feeling so forceful it almost overwhelmed me. It was like my entire
body reacted to it, like adrenalin was rushing inside of me causing my heart to
beat faster and my muscles to grow. I felt my clothes tightening around my
chest and legs.

“Left!” the officer yelled and threw the girl in the
direction where a flock of elderly women and small children were walking. I knew
what that meant. We all did. We had heard about it. The elderly and children
couldn’t work, so they were killed.

 
“NO!!!”
screamed the mother and tried to fight the soldier that had grabbed her and
started dragging her away.

The daughter screamed too, called for her mother,
screamed that she wanted her to come back. But the officer slapped her across
the face while yelling at her.

That was when it happened.

I had no idea how or why, but suddenly it was like my
entire body exploded right there at the train station. I had to pull off my
clothes, the heat coming from inside of me was too intense and my body was
growing to the extent that I was unable to fit into it. My shirt ripped, hair
grew out of my hands and on my neck. I felt pain as my hands suddenly changed
and claws appeared. Then I felt my face change as fangs grew out. Turmoil
arose. I heard people around me scream and yell, trying to get away from me.
Soldiers ran towards me pointing their guns at me while staring at me
astonished and paralyzed, the guns shaking heavily in their hands. I growled
and howled. The officer holding the little girl stared at me completely
motionless and paralyzed. All I could see in his eyes was fear. Then I jumped
him. I leaped through the air and with hardly any effort killed him with my
claws. I heard a gunshot and saw people throw themselves on the ground
screaming, afraid to be hit. I felt bullets tear into my fur, but they never
harmed me. They felt like small needles on my skin, but never painful. I was
growing stronger, I thought. For the first time I was fully aware after having
turned.

I threw myself at one soldier at a time, ripped them
apart, then on to the next, biting them, ripping them with my claws, even some
of the ones who tried to escape were caught and killed by my ferocious claws.

When all the soldiers were dead or had run off I
stared at the crowd surrounding me. I saw fear in their eyes as well when they
stared at me. I couldn’t blame them. They feared they were the next victims of
the vicious beast.

Still panting, I stared at the many dead soldiers when
I sensed the fury in me slowly wear off, then evaporate and transformed back
into a human. It was painful and I cried out while the hair disappeared, the
claws and fangs withdrew. I lay on the cold ground when I returned to myself,
moaning and groaning. A flock of people had surrounded me. All stared at me
with astonished eyes. Only one face dared to come close.

The face of the little girl. She reached out and
touched my cheek gently and carefully. In her eyes I detected no fear, only
compassion.

“Wolfboy,” she whispered. “You’re a wolfboy.”

N
ot knowing what else
to do,
whether they should fear me or not, people soon started to back up and run
away. Soon the train station was almost empty and I realized we all had to
leave in a hurry. It wouldn’t be long before more soldiers arrived.

I felt strange getting back on my feet, like my head
was spinning, I was very dizzy. I kept staring at the dead soldiers and looking
at the blood running from their bodies on to the ground beneath them. I felt
drawn to them, to the bodies and I suddenly felt an incredible, almost
overwhelming thirst. I snapped my teeth a couple of times like I wanted to bite
the flesh, devour the meat. The hunger was unbearable.

The little girl and her mother helped me find the
remains of my clothes and even if they were ripped I was able to get somehow
dressed. We even found my hat.

The little girl kissed my cheek before they began
their walk. They were going to try and hide somewhere in the countryside, the
mother said and then eventually maybe one day get into Bulgaria that still
remained neutral according to the rumors.

“Stay away from the main roads,” were my final words
to them.

I watched them as they started to walk and soon
disappeared in the distance. I would have gone with them if it wasn’t for my
sack that I dropped in the snow when the soldiers had taken me. I had a strange
urge to get it back. Not so much because of my own belongings as it was because
of the small sack I had received from the old lady before I left her house. I
needed to see what was in it. I wanted desperately to find this man who had
left it there. He had to have the answers I was looking for. At least I hoped
whatever was in that sack would bring me closer to him or to what I had become.

I stared one last time at the dead bodies and then
walked closer to the soldier who had grabbed the little girl. I heard my own
heavy breathing as I smelled the blood coming out of him, it was such a sweet
smell it almost drove me insane. I looked at my hands and realized the hairs
were starting to grow back. I inhaled the wondrous smell once again and bent
over opening my mouth, caving in to the desire of tasting the salty flesh. Just
as I was about to sink my teeth into it I stopped. I was panting heavily. Oh,
the desire to taste one bite, to sink my teeth into the flesh and drink the
blood like I had done to the animals in the forest. I really wanted to, but
somehow knew it was wrong, knew I had to resist it.

This isn’t right, I thought to myself as I stumbled
backwards, forcing myself away from the bloody body. Tripping, falling,
stumbling I turned my back to it and began to run resisting the urgent desire
to eat the flesh of my prey.

I ran till I couldn’t see the train station anymore,
then I stopped, panting, gasping for air. I felt afraid, afraid of my own
desires, afraid to lose control. I sat at the foot of a tree while catching my
breath. The hairs were gone, my skin looked normal again. I looked around me. It
was going to be a long trip back. I was scared of my own reaction afterwards,
but at least the experience at the train station had given me something. An
assurance of some sort. I had been fully awake for the first time while I was
the wolf, I was somehow able to control who I attacked. Did that mean I would
someday be able to control it? To control the wolf? At least it gave me hope
and hope was exactly what I needed at this moment. It was what everyone needed
to survive in these times.

I stayed away from the main roads and kept walking west until sunset
was almost over me. Then I went into a forest and took off my clothes. I packed
it all up and tied it altogether, then sat in the freezing snow and waited for
the change to happen. I hoped and prayed that my being able to be fully aware
of what I was doing while I was the wolf wasn’t a one time phenomenon. I hoped
I could do it again. Being the wolf at the train station had been like being in
a dream, a dream in which I saw everything in a strange light, a dreamlike
light, but I was able to do what I wanted to do. I was able to steer my body,
my legs and arms in the right direction even if everything felt so unreal. When
I attacked those soldiers it felt good, it felt right and just somehow, even if
it was killing. Yet somehow it felt like an instinct that I couldn’t control as
if the anger inside of me took over and took control. It was hard for me to
explain, to put to words. Sitting in the cold snow and watching the sun go down
I tried hard to figure out what had been different this time, why had I been
able to see everything, to feel everything and why did I remember it all
afterwards? Then I was filled with a fear as well. My reaction afterwards had
scared me. It was like I couldn’t control myself as a human, like the wolf was
trying to take over and make me give in to my desires. Would there ever be a
time when I would be able to control both? Or would it be a constant fight
going on inside of me?

Darkness fell slowly upon the small forest and I
looked at my hands as the hairs began to grow and soon covered my entire body.
It was quite the spectacular sight, I thought and laughed a little. For the
first time it actually felt good when the hairs came. Maybe because I was so
cold that I needed the fur to keep me warm at night. I realized that I was
still awake, I was still aware when the fangs arrived, when the ears grew out,
when the tail came. I stared at my paws in astonishment. They were huge. So
were my claws and fangs. No wonder I could kill with just one touch. I stared
into the dark night when the transformation slowly finished and I had become
the beast once again.

I bent down and picked up my bundle of clothes in my
mouth, then leaped out into the night, knowing nothing could stop me, nothing
could hurt me when I travelled as the wolf.

It took me three days to get back to Cluj-Napoca. I travelled as the
wolf at night and slept in barns or small forests during the day. Slowly I
learned to accept my new nature and even if I still considered the wolf as evil
and untrustworthy, I figured that I might as well embrace this beast living in
me and I was determined to be able to fully control it. There had to be a way,
somehow. Running at night while still fully aware of what I was and what I did
gave me hope that those nights when I lost control were over. But what I didn’t
understand was what had changed? Why was I suddenly able to see everything, to
somehow control my body? How was I able to control who I killed at that train
station and who I didn’t? My biggest question was if it would stay this way.
Would I continue to be able to control it, or would I regress? Would the wolf
instinct be able to fully take over again? Was there something that somehow
tricked it? I was still so new to this that I didn’t fully trust myself as the
wolf yet. So as I travelled I stayed far away from humans. If I saw houses, a
small village or even just lights, I would turn and run in another direction,
take a detour if I had to. I didn’t want to take any chances. A wolf was still
a beast, a ferocious killer and if hungry enough it would attack anyone. I knew
that much from my life hunting in the forest at my father’s property. So I not
only stayed far away from humans, I made also sure the wolf wasn’t starved. I
chased small animals in the forests, mostly mice and rabbits and devoured them
before I picked up the journey. I made sure the wolf was fed and had satisfied
its thirst for the hunt. Then I could run all night without a stop. My strong
legs felt amazing as I ran hundreds of miles in one night. It was incredible,
the closest I had ever come to flying.

Three days later close to sunrise, I came to the small village where I
had met Camelia who had taken care of me and given me the sack I returned for.
I stopped and remembered the man whose body I had seen in front the town’s
church. I felt a sadness when I looked at the village from the top of a hill
not far away. I hated myself for what I had done that night. But I had to live
with it.

I turned away from the village and ran towards the
forest and the fields where the soldiers had chased me across the snow. I was
tired from a long run and had to push through using the last of my strength. I
felt my heart racing as I came closer to the place where they had hit me with
their car and I had been thrown into the air letting go of the sack. I sighed
deeply as I stopped and looked. My sight as the wolf was incredible. I could
spot even small insects in a treetop far away. The darker, the better I saw, it
was like my blue eyes shone through the darkness and lit up the night for me to
see. The blue light was always in front of me. But I couldn’t see the sack
anywhere. I sighed and wondered if this great journey had been all in vain. It
had been here for days. If someone hadn’t picked it up, then an animal might
have found it or maybe it had even been buried in the snow.

Luckily for me it hadn’t snowed at all. I could still
see the tracks from the car that the soldiers had driven across the field. I
could even see my own footprints, and the mark where I had landed in the snow.
It was all there.

So was the sack. As I scanned the area with my eyes I
spotted it in the snow not far from where I had landed,
 
right where I had seen it from the car.
I ran towards it and threw my bundle of clothes next to it. Then I sniffed it.
The sack had been chewed by a mouse in one side and some of the bread was
eaten. I didn’t care about that. I didn’t even care about my only spare shirt
and pants. It was all there, I was happy to see, but that wasn’t the most
important to me. All I cared about was the sack that the man had left.