I Can Barely Take Care of Myself (29 page)

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Authors: Jen Kirkman

Tags: #Biography & Autobiography, #Entertainment & Performing Arts, #Women, #Personal Memoirs, #Humor, #Topic, #Marriage & Family

Jen Kirkman
is a stand-up comedian as well as a writer and regular roundtable guest on
Chelsea Lately,
and one of the stars of the hit spin-off mockumentary show
After Lately.
Jen’s latest stand-up album,
Hail to the Freaks
(released May 2011), hit no. 13 on the Billboard comedy album charts. Her debut album was 2006’s
Self Help.
Jen is also well known for her role as the narrator in the cult-hit
series
Drunk History
from Funny or Die/HBO, which won the jury prize in short filmmaking at the Sundance Film Festival. Every month, Jen makes a storytelling appearance on Paul F. Tompkins’s podcast,
The Pod F. Tompkast,
which was hailed by
Rolling Stone
as “the best comedy podcast of the moment.” Jen has performed stand-up on
Conan, John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Late Friday
on NBC, Comedy Central’s
Premium Blend
, and the BBC’s
The World Stands Up.
Jen was also a cast member of VH1’s sketch show
Acceptable TV.
She did many voices on the Cartoon Network’s
Home Movies
as well as Current TV’s political cartoon
SuperNews! Entertainment Weekly
has twice named Jen as a comedian to watch and the
Huffington Post
has named her one of the top ten
comedians to follow on Twitter. Jen tours as a stand-up and is based in Los Angeles.

Visit Jen at
www.jenkirkman.com
or on Twitter
@jenkirkman

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kirkman, Jen
I can barely take care of myself : tales from a happy life without kids / Jen Kirkman.—1st Simon & Schuster hardcover ed.
p. cm.
1. Kirkman, Jen, 1974– 2. Comedians—United States—Biography. 3. Television comedy writers—United States—Biography. 4. Childlessness—Humor. 5. Adulthood—Humor. I. Title.
PN2287.K672A3 2013
792.702'8092—dc23
[B]  2012033097

ISBN 978-1-4516-6700-4

ISBN 978-1-4516-6701-1(ebook)

Table of Contents

Cover

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter 1: Welcome Back, Kirkman

Chapter 2: Misadventures in Babysitting

Chapter 3: Toddlers Without Borders

Chapter 4: Married . . . Without Children

Chapter 5: “You’ll Change Your Mind”

Chapter 6: Jesus Never Changed Diapers

Chapter 7: I Don’t Have the Mom Jeans Gene

Chapter 8: Faking It for George Clooney

Chapter 9: “But You’d Be Such a Good Mom!”

Chapter 10: I’m Gonna Die Alone (and I Feel Fine)

Chapter 11: It’s None of Your Business, but Since You Asked . . .

Chapter 12: Becoming Miriam

Acknowledgments

About Jen Kirkman

Copyright

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