I Got You | A Gay Romance: A Boyfriend for Rent Book | Gay For You (20 page)

She gasped. “Love? Really?” She smiled. “That’s so sweet. I’ve never heard you say that about anyone before.”

Jake threw his hands up in the air. He knew he shouldn’t tell her everything, but he hoped when she did find out that this B-Sam character was actually their step-brother that she’d be rooting for them to be together enough, that she wouldn’t care.

He sat down on the arm of the couch. "I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. He's all I ever think about. I've never felt more comfortable with anyone before until I met him and I really thought he'd be the one." Jake couldn't help it now, the tears were going to come whether he was ready or not. His voice cracked. "Why can't I find anyone? What's wrong with me?"

She threw her hands on her hips. "Nothing. You hear me? Nothing's wrong with you. If he can't see that, if he won't treat you the way you deserve then he doesn't deserve you. You'll get someone else."

That was his sister for him, always defensive. He wished sometimes he had half the cojones that she did.

He sighed. It felt good to have someone’s support. Whether he wanted it or not, the lone tear trailed down his cheek. He wiped it away as quickly as it came.  He never wanted anyone to see him vulnerable, especially his sister.  He was supposed to be the man of the house when his dad wasn’t around. And with his dad gone so much because of his work, he needed to buck up. But he couldn’t help himself. His voice was barely a whisper. "But I don't want someone else. I want him. Just him."

He picked at his nails and she smacked his hand away, kissing him on the side of his head. "Things will work out. You'll see."

CHAPTER 33

"Don't call here again," Jake heard his sister say as he shuffled into the living room with a basket of unfolded clothes. "He doesn't want to talk to you."

"Who was that?" he asked as he stepped behind her and set the basket down. It’d been days since he’d seen Benjamin and he figured he’d peel himself out from under his bedroom.

"Huh," she said, hanging up the phone and looking at him wide eyed like she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't.

"The person you were talking to?" he asked. She knew what he was talking about. Why was she pretending to be stupid?

"Oh, just this guy ... So, let's get this over with because I have to go out tonight." She grabbed the laundry basket and he followed her into the living room.

He cracked a smile. "Slutting around again?"

"What?"

He chuckled. "That guy, whoever he was. Was he mad cause you were caught with your legs in the air again with someone else?"

"Shut up, homo."

"Slut."

She cracked a forced smile, but she was off. Whoever she was speaking to must have really disturbed her because Genie wasn't herself.

"Well, I'm just glad to see you out of your room for five minutes."

He sighed. She was right. He’d been in his room forever, trying to block out the world. Skipping a couple of classes wouldn’t hurt, besides he couldn’t concentrate anyway with all that was going on. And the last thing he wanted was to run into Steve again. "Yeah, I just ... I'm not feeling too social."

She raised an eyebrow. "Cause of that B-Sam guy?"

His heart pitter-pattered.
Really?
"Uh ... yeah, but it's cool."

"How's our step-brother doing?" she asked in a sing-songy way.

"What?" Now, it was Jake's turn to look wide-eyed and nervous.

"Our step-brother, Benjamin," she said.

Shit.
Did she really have to ask about him?
He scrambled to think of what to say, how to blow it off. How could he act like it was no big deal when that man was the only thing he could think of? When every time he closed his eyes, he saw Benjamin? When every time he looked behind him, he hoped the man was there? "Oh, he's cool. Just working."

"Hmm. Isn't he going to be mad that you missed another session?"

Jake shrugged as if it were no big deal. "He's cool with it."

Her eyebrow arched higher. "Is he?"

He wondered why was she asking so much. She hadn't taken much of an interest in Benjamin before. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

"So, do you know when Dad's coming back in town?" He asked, changing the subject. Dad wasn't his favorite topic, but anything was better than talking about Benjamin. It'd been hard enough not to think of him on his own. Day and night, all he could think about was how hurt he was, why he hadn't called and why it was that he missed the man so much. It was for the best that Benjamin hadn't called in days. Jake told himself he didn't care, that it was for the best but in truth, he craved to hear the man's voice again. He kept replaying in his mind how Benjamin had chased after him on the road desperate to talk to him. He wondered if he'd overreacted, if he should have let Benjamin pull over so they could talk it through. He'd left his phone off for days, hadn't even looked at it. Come to think of it, hadn't seen it all day.

"Dad? He's ... He’ll be here in a few days." She folded her clothes more agitated now. Something was definitely disturbing her.

He searched his pocket. Where had he put his phone? That was so weird. Sure, he’d kept it off for the last few days, but keeping it near him made him feel that somehow he was keeping Benjamin near him too.

"Hey, Genie. Have you seen my phone?"

She didn't look at him, just kept folding. "I don't know. I'm not responsible for your shit."

Damn. What’s her problem?
He pulled out a bundle of clean clothes and that's when his phone fell out of the basket.

"What the—?" he said, picking it up. It was damaged, cracked, and a little rusted. This was the last thing he needed, he barely had enough money to pay for the one he had and now he was going to need to buy a new one. "Fuck."

"Oh, no ..." she said, a little over-exaggerated. "I told you to check your pockets before you put anything in the hamper."

He shook his head in disbelief. What if Benjamin had tried to call him? What if he wanted to get back together? It was ridiculous to even contemplate, but he couldn’t help himself. "I did. I always do. I swear I put my phone on my dresser. How the hell did it—"

She stopped what she was doing, looked him straight in the eye and asked, "So ... when were you going to tell me you were fucking our step-brother?"

Jake's heart stopped, almost coughing on his own spit. "Wait. What?"

She combed her fingers through her hair. "You heard me. You lied to me."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Why are you
—
?"

"Why are you still lying to me?" she asked, her voice exploding in the room. He couldn’t remember the last time his sister had ever raised her voice to him. They play fought, they teased each other but nothing like this.  He always thought she had his back, even when he was a kid. But to have her scream at him at the top of her lungs stung badly.

The air was still and thick. Jake swallowed. He didn't know what to say, how to respond. He cleared his throat.

"I—"

She cut him off. "And you better tell me the truth this time, Jake. He's our fucking brother—"

"Step-brother."

She threw her hands up. "Same fucking thing. You can't find anybody else? Do you have any idea what this will do to dad?"

She made it sound like he’d connived this whole thing, that he seeked out his step-brother to add more drama to his life. Was she out of her mind? Panic ran through his body like a cold chill. He loved his sister, but she also wasn’t known to be the most discreet person. He crossed his arms, to match hers. "He won't find out. Unless you tell him."

She was more agitated that he’d ever seen her before. "Secrets have a way of coming out, Jake. It's only a matter of time. This is wrong and you know it. Do you have any idea what this will do to me, to dad and our reputation in this town? When you were getting your cock sucked, did you give any thought to how this would affect us?"

Jake sighed. As if he needed more stress. He wanted to tell her that he hadn't given it much thought because for the first time in his life, he did something that made him happy. He finally met someone who wanted nothing more than to please him, to care for him, to put him first. For the first time in his life, he found someone to love and to love him in return.

Love.
That word scared him. How could he love, really love his own step-brother? It sounded so wrong and yet, it felt so right.

"Are you listening to me at all, Jake?" she asked, stepping forward. "This will destroy dad. Are you really that selfish?"

"No, I—"

"End it."

He sighed. Part of him knew she was right. This whole thing had been way more drama than he needed in his life and yet, she didn't know what it was like to feel this way about anyone. She'd been through nothing but a string of one night stands. She didn't know what it was like to finally meet the one she thought she'd spend the rest of her life with, only to have it end so abruptly. He rubbed the back of his head. "I
—
I need to call him. Tell him that
—
"

Her face contorted in disgust. "Jake, your phone is ruined. If that's not a sign from God that you should lose all contact with him, I don't know what is. Besides, you haven't heard from him in days. Doesn't that tell you something? He's moved on. He got what he wanted and he doesn't want you anymore. End it. Promise me you'll end it and I won't say a word to dad. With luck, no one else will find out and it will be like it never happened. Promise me."

"Fine. I promise."

A smile of relief spread across her face and she pulled him into an embrace. "Everything's going to be much better now. You'll see."

"Sure," he said. But why did it feel like things were about to go from bad to worse?

CHAPTER 34

It'd been days since Jake had visited Alberto. He felt bad about it, as if he abandoned his best friend, but he just couldn't function before. Now, here he was shuffling his feet in the room up to his friend who didn't look any better. In fact, he probably looked worse. He pulled up a chair behind him, squeezing his hand. It was times like these that he wished Alberto could talk back. He really needed a listening ear, someone who wouldn't judge.

Spending time alone when he was going through something like this was torture. He'd tried keeping up with his training on his own, jogging, doing his combinations even practicing the Superman kick.  Although he was progressing and had come a long way, and his body had improved dramatically, it only reminded him of Benjamin.

"Hey there, buddy. Whatcha been up to?" He laughed at his own joke. The heart monitor's monotonous beep chirped in the air as he pulled the blanket up over him. "You're cold."

He wanted to call a nurse in to ask them if anyone had been checking on him, but good luck in this dump. He was surprised someone had even cleaned out the bedpan this time. Jake pulled out Alberto's comb from his pocket and stroked it through the young man's silky dark hair. He always admired how perfect his hair was, which was nothing like his own wavy hair.

"Oh, how am I doing?" Jake asked, pretending to have a conversation with him. "Other than getting dumped by my boyfriend, who happens to be my step-brother and having Genie find out about it? Fine. Oh, and the fact that I can barely concentrate on school and I have to arrive an hour before and leave an hour later, just to avoid running in Steve? Lots of fun."

Jake sighed. He didn't mean to complain. This was better than what Alberto was going through, that was for sure. "I miss you, man. You have no idea. I thought ... I thought I met someone really special and I know it's weird. I know it's complicated, the whole thing, but ... I've never felt like this before. He ... Benjamin, you'd like him. You really would. But now he's gone and there's nothing I can do about it. He left me."

Even as he said the words, his throat tightened. He tried not to cry, but the tears burned out anyway. "I'm alone, Alberto. You're not here. He's not here. No one else understands me. I thought I finally found the one, the one I've been waiting for and now .... he's just ... It's like he doesn't even care. He hasn't tried to call or ... Why can't I find someone?"

His lips quivered. "I'm going to die alone, old and alone. Why won't someone love me?"

He squeezed Alberto's hand and for a moment, he swore Alberto squeezed him back. It was wishful thinking. He passed it off and grabbed a few tissues from the nightstand, wiping his tears.

"I can hear you now, 'Buck up, Mary. Pull it together.'” He exhaled and forced a smile. "I'm trying. Can you do me a favor? Something tells me you're a lot closer to heaven than I ever will be. Can you whisper a little something in God's ear? Ask him to watch over me. Help me through this."