I Knew You Were Trouble: A Jessie Jefferson Novel (12 page)

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before,’ I say, but he’s still speechless. ‘I haven’t been able to tell anyone,’ I almost whisper. ‘Libby and
Natalie know, but they’ve been sworn to secrecy. I haven’t even told Lou yet,’ I add, to deafening silence. ‘Are you going to say anything?’ I ask finally.

‘I— He— What?’ he splutters. ‘What? How?
How?
’ he repeats.

‘My mum went out with Johnny before I was born.’ My face warms. ‘She fell pregnant, he went off to become a world-famous rock star,’ I say a touch sarkily, ‘and she
didn’t tell me because she didn’t want me to run off and go to live with him.’

‘You’re Johnny Jefferson’s daughter?’ Tom says in not much more than a whisper himself.

‘Yes.’

‘You’re not kidding about this, are you?’ he checks.

‘I swear on my mother’s grave,’ I say solemnly.

‘Bloody hell,’ he exclaims, but my surge of relief is soon replaced with uncertainty.

The way he’s looking at me… It’s different. It’s almost like he doesn’t know me any more.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,’ I say in a small voice. ‘But it’s all been so confusing. Such a strange summer.’

‘Come and sit down,’ he says suddenly, nodding at the sofa.

‘What about dinner?’ I ask.

‘I’ll heat it up later.’ He takes my hand as we fall onto the sofa beside each other.

I tell him everything. How I found out, how I met Johnny’s solicitor, how I went to LA to stay with the Jeffersons for a while. I tell him the truth about my half-brothers and their real
names. I tell him about Brian. He listens to every single word, asking questions where appropriate, and I feel a heavy weight that I didn’t even know I’d been carrying lift from my
shoulders. I’m so glad he knows everything.

‘Johnny wants to meet you,’ I say finally, and his face freezes comically.

‘He knows about me?’ he asks, flabbergasted.

‘Of course he knows about you,’ I reply.

‘Johnny Jefferson knows who I am?’ he says again, more slowly, as though still not quite believing it. ‘I can’t believe you’re Johnny Jefferson’s
daughter,’ he says, unable to take his eyes from mine.

‘Believe it,’ I reply.

He shakes his head with astonishment. ‘You really do look like him, you know.’

I shrug slightly.

‘God!’ he erupts. ‘Weren’t Nina and her friends teasing you about this?’

‘Yes!’

He laughs suddenly, a slightly crazed laugh that I can’t help but join in with. ‘Jesus Christ, what did Mr Taylor say?’

We carry on talking until, to our surprise, we hear the sound of a key in the lock. I realise with dismay that Caroline is home already.

‘Hello!’ she says brightly, appearing at the doorway, her eyes darting between us. She probably thinks we’ve been sitting here, making out.

‘How was it?’ Tom asks her.

‘Great!’ she exclaims, coming into the room.

‘You’re home early.’ He sounds almost accusatory, as though he doesn’t believe her when she says she had a good time.

‘It’s eleven thirty,’ she replies.

‘Is it?’ To m and I both say at once.

‘You didn’t eat your dinner!’ she exclaims, spying the leftovers of our food still laid out on the table.

‘I burnt it,’ Tom replies apologetically, quickly getting to his feet. ‘Sorry, Mum,’ he adds.

‘Oh, dear,’ she says with regret. ‘Are you still hungry? Do you want me to make you something else?’ She looks at me.

‘No, no, I’m fine, thank you,’ I reply, getting up also and feeling bad that we haven’t even cleared the table. ‘I didn’t realise how late it was.’

‘Time flies when you’re having fun,’ she says with a smile, picking up our plates. I quickly grab what I can and take it through to the kitchen.

‘I’ll do this,’ Tom says hastily, taking the items from me. ‘Mum, leave it,’ he adds, as I stand there awkwardly while they fuss between themselves about
who’s going to clear up. ‘Can I give Jessie a lift home?’ he asks eventually.

‘What, in the car?’ His mum sounds alarmed.

‘Yeah, with you in the passenger seat,’ he replies. He only had half a glass of wine, and that was hours ago now.

‘Oh, I see! Yes, I don’t see why not. Are you ready now?’

I nod, thrilled at the thought of seeing Tom drive. If he gets his licence soon, we’ll be able to go anywhere together.

I sit in the middle at the back, watching his toned arm in the darkness as he changes gear. I can see the goosebumps on his forearm. It’s cold out, but he shrugged off his mother’s
suggestion of a jacket. The journey is smooth and easy, and Caroline doesn’t have to say anything about his driving. My heart is bursting with pride by the time we pull up outside my close,
and then I feel a sudden spike of humiliation as I realise his mum is peering out of the window at my shabby house.

It’s my mum’s house
, I think defensively. If Caroline doesn’t like it, tough.

Tom hops out of the car and opens my door, taking my hand as I step out. We walk hand in hand to the front door.

‘Sorry my mum came home like that. I feel like there’s still so much to talk about,’ he murmurs, his face close to mine in the darkness. ‘Shall I – shall I call you
when I get back home?’ he asks tentatively.

My face breaks out into a smile and I nod. He kisses me quickly with his mum watching and walks away with a spring in his step. I go inside to wait for his call.

By the end of the weekend, I feel so close to Tom. He cancels football on Sunday and we spend the day together, and that night we talk on the phone for an hour.

Stu thinks it’s a bit ridiculous, but I know he’s not really annoyed. He likes Tom, and I can tell he knows that Tom doesn’t mess girls around. He’d still be with Isla if
she hadn’t cheated on him. I feel uneasy as that thought occurs to me.

We’re even more tactile than usual that week at school and I’m not oblivious to the occasional snigger.

I only realise just how far the gossip about us has gone when Libby corners me in the corridor outside the library.

‘What is it?’ I stutter, as she pulls me into the thankfully deserted space.

‘I just—’ She looks uncomfortable.

‘Spit it out,’ I say, not unkindly.

‘It’s just that I heard… Have you and Tom…?’

‘What?’

‘You know,’ she says, as the blood drains from my face. ‘Have you…’

‘No!’ I exclaim. I can’t believe she’s even asking me. We’ve only been together a few weeks!

‘I just heard—’

‘What?’ I demand to know. ‘What have you heard?’

‘That you two have done it.’

‘Jesus!’ I erupt. ‘No! We’re just closer than we were! I’ve told him… I’ve told him everything,’ I say significantly, and her hazel eyes open
wide with surprise.

‘About your dad?’ she asks.

‘Yes!’

‘Do you trust him?’

‘Yes!’ I say even more firmly.

‘Well, I just… I thought you’d want to know,’ she says quietly.

‘Thanks for telling me,’ I force myself to say, trying not to shoot the messenger.

She nods abruptly and we walk out of the library together.

Tom, Lou, Chris and I go to a party at Natalie’s house that night. She called earlier in the week to tell me about it. Her parents are away this weekend and, when that
happens, she and her older brother Mike tend to make the most of it. Her parents are massively laid-back, so I don’t think they mind. Perhaps they don’t even care, although Natalie
doesn’t say a lot about her mum and dad, neither negative nor positive. We don’t really talk about personal stuff, which is partly why I like her. She’s all about having fun.

Initially, Tom and I were supposed to be going to the movies tonight, but Natalie was having none of it.

‘I haven’t seen you for ages,’ she interrupted. ‘You have to come!’

‘Can Tom—’

‘Yes, he can come, too,’ she said wearily. ‘Do you two live in each other’s pockets now?’

She claimed that she was joking when I didn’t answer, ending our call with, ‘Of course he can. The more the merrier.’

She meant that last part. Her place is more packed than I’ve ever seen it, and it doesn’t take long for me to see that Isla is here, too. My grip on Tom’s hand unwittingly
tightens when I see her walk into the kitchen. Tom looks past me, clocking who I’ve seen. I let go of his hand.

‘Hey,’ he complains, reaching over to take it again and flashing me an enquiring look. I shrug and shake my head, reaching for my cider and taking a large swig. Natalie, Em and Lou
are outside smoking, but I haven’t had a cigarette since LA. It helps that Tom doesn’t smoke. I know he doesn’t like it.

Later, we find ourselves in the crowded TV room where Natalie has got PlayStation SingStar up and running. Usually she’d persuade me to join in, but I’m refusing all of her attempts
tonight because I’m not drunk enough. I only ever sing in front of other people when I’m wasted.

No, that’s not true. I sang with Johnny when I was stone-cold sober. I still can’t believe I did that. He was in his private studio playing one of his new songs to his friend
Christian. I went in to have a listen and, the next thing I knew, Johnny was asking me to accompany him.

‘Get in here,’ he said from inside his glass-windowed box.

‘Go on!’ Christian urged me.

‘Forget it.’ I shook my head determinedly. ‘I don’t sing in public, remember?’

And then Christian told me I’d regret it if I didn’t and I realised that he was right.

God, I loved being in that studio with Johnny. We sang an acoustic version of one of his big hits. I just did a few harmonies to start with and then joined in and sang with Johnny until the end.
Christian’s reaction shocked me. He was blown away and I was on such a high.

I’d give anything to feel like that again. SingStar can’t compete.

Still, it’s damn funny watching Natalie and Lou give it a go.

After a while, Tom heads off to get us some more drinks and I discover to my deeply unpleasant surprise that I have his ex’s attention. She’s with two of her friends and
they’re all looking over at me, then turning back to each other.

I stare back at them defiantly.

‘Jessie! Come on, please!’ Natalie implores when the Guns N’ Roses song she and Lou were murdering finishes. I shake my head with a grin.

‘Go on,’ Chris urges, as a hot-and-sweaty-but-still-utterly-gorgeous Lou joins us. He wraps his arm round her neck.

‘No,’ I reiterate, noticing one of Isla’s friends looking over and saying something that makes Isla laugh nastily.

I excuse myself to go to the loo, hoping I’ll find Tom on the way back, but Isla and her friends are at the bottom of the stairs and I have to walk past them.

‘
Slag
…’

White noise fills my head at Isla’s jibe and suddenly I see red.

‘You might’ve shagged him and then screwed someone else, but I’ve got more restraint!’ I bite back.

Her face flushes and the looks on her friends’ faces could kill me right there on the spot. As I walk past them, one of them shoves me. I stumble, but don’t fall.

‘Stupid bitch,’ Isla hisses after me.

Blood rushes into my face. Tom only told me she kissed another guy – not slept with him – but I wanted to hurt her. I think I’ve just gone too far. I glance into the TV room
only to catch Tom’s eye before I hurry out through the kitchen to the garden. A moment later he’s caught up with me.

‘Jessie?’ he asks with alarm. ‘What is it?’

I gulp back a sob. There’s a bench at the end of the garden which, thankfully, is empty. I sit down and angrily brush away my tears and try to take a deep, shaky breath as Tom sits beside
me, his dark eyes regarding me with worry.

‘Is this about your mum?’

‘No.’ I stare at him and then look around, bemused. ‘We’ve been here before, haven’t we?’ I say, sidetracked for a moment.

He nods slightly, a sympathetic smile on his face. Before anything had happened between us – when we’d only spoken a couple of times – he comforted me on this very bench. I had
heard a song that we’d played at Mum’s funeral and it had set me off. That was when he told me about his dad leaving.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asks.

‘Isla called me a slag.’

He looks horrified, but his expression swiftly transforms into disgust. I can tell he’s furious with her.

‘But what I said was worse.’

Feeling ashamed, I repeat my words.

‘Well,’ he says, ‘maybe she did shag him, I don’t know. And I don’t care any more. I can’t believe she said that to you when we haven’t even done
anything!’

I don’t know how or why, but the look on his face makes me laugh. I think I might be feeling a tiny bit hysterical.

‘Come here,’ he says, wrapping his arm round me and pulling me close. Some of the ice in my stomach is instantly thawed, but there’s something that’s bothering me so I
may as well just get it over with. I pull away and look at him. ‘Were you her first?’

He looks uncomfortable, but he answers me with a nod.

‘Urgh,’ I can’t help but mutter, edging further away. ‘How many girls have you slept with?’

The expression on his face tightens. ‘Just Isla.’

Why oh why did I ask? I’m a virgin, too. Will he be comparing me to Isla, if we ever make it that far?

‘Stop it,’ he berates me, seeing the look on my face. ‘I’m with you. You,’ he says firmly. ‘Don’t ruin it. She broke my heart.’

‘I don’t want to hear that,’ I moan.

‘I’m not telling you to hurt you. I’m telling you because the way I feel about you… It’s stronger. I don’t want to spoil this, so I’m not going to push
you to do anything you don’t want to.’

I manage a small smile and he cups my face and kisses me.

‘Please don’t care about what people say,’ he begs. ‘They’ll find something else to gossip about soon.’

He’s not wrong. The very next day, in fact. And it blows my liaison with Tom right out of the water.

When Stu wakes me up, I know instantly that something’s wrong. Mum’s face flashes into my mind. But no one’s died this time. This is about me.

The whole of the front page of our local paper, in fact.