Authors: Kate Sweeney
Helen, who was still screaming, took her napkin and beat the hell out of Dale’s face. “I got it.” She swiped back and forth and back and forth, bitch slapping poor Dale. “I think I got it!”
Bess was right at her side. “There it is!” She pointed to the floor and slammed her fashionable Jimmy
Choo
high heel on it. Again and again.
Stan winced and gently put his hand on her shoulder. “Whoa there,
Orkin
, you’ll break an ankle.”
Nate pulled a face when he looked down at the mangled insect. “Wow. You really got it.”
Mark put his hands on Bess’s shoulder. “Are you all right? Are you stung?”
“That was horrible.” Bess let out a deep breath. “I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Are you sure?” Mark asked urgently. He started running his hands over Bess’s shoulder.
Bess raised an eyebrow. “Mark. Stop that.”
“Oh.”
Dale cried out, mumbling something as she pressed her fingers against her lips. Everyone had forgotten about poor Dale.
Sandy had her hand on her shoulder. “What is it, Dale?”
“What’s she saying?” Bess turned her attention away from Mark, who had a hand poised to touch her shoulder again.
“Wait. Wait. What is it, dear?” Helen watched Dale as she mumbled. “Oh, I understand. She’s saying my tongue, my tongue or, my thong…”
“Oh, for god’s sake,” Sandy said, gently pushing both women out of the way. “Dale, let me see.” She took Dale’s hand away, and her upper lip was beginning to swell. “Oh, boy.”
“Oh,
boyth
?” Dale cried out. “What, oh,
boyth
? What?”
“Calm down, dear. Let me see,” Helen said soothingly and looked at her lip. “Oh, boy.”
Dale rolled her eyes helplessly. Sandy tried to calm her. “The wasp stung your lip. Are you allergic to bee stings?”
“Again with the
fricking
bees.” Roz groaned and tossed down her napkin.
All eyes turned to Roz. She backed up. “Maybe it was the clover?”
Chapter 15
Roz watched as everyone quickly vacated the dining room lest a swarm of wasps showed up, looking for the murderer. They headed to the couches in the living room. Dale was moaning, but her lip seemed to stop swelling with the ice pack Sandy held in place on her mouth. Bess sat on the other side of her, soothingly patting her leg. Stan and Nate stood behind the couch eating tiramisu. Helen was in her usual place, in a comfortable chair by the fire, sipping her after-nightmare drink.
Kit watched with her arms folded across her chest. She glared at Roz every now and then.
“What?” Roz asked, holding out her hands. Everything seemed calm, but she wasn’t taking any chances. “Stella, you talked to Tina earlier. Do you think she’s still at Dave’s?”
“Probably, the horse will foal anytime. I’ll give her a call.” She ran back to the kitchen.
In a moment, she came back. “She said keep the ice on it and have someone come get her right away. She hasn’t got her truck.”
“Mark,” Roz called out. She fished her car keys out and tossed them to him. “Take my Jeep. Go get the doc and hurry up.”
“Can I take the top off?” he asked eagerly.
“Mark!” Stella yelled.
“Okay, okay.” He ran out and slammed the door.
What seemed like an hour turned out to be just a few minutes. Roz heard the Jeep come to a skidding halt and winced. Mark came running in first, followed by Tina Foster.
“Tina, thanks for coming,” Roz said.
Kit looked up, astonished. “You!”
“Well, hello again.” Tina cocked her head.
Dale groaned but couldn’t say anything.
Roz looked from Kit to Tina. “You know each other?”
Kit impatiently waved her off.
Tina sat next to Dale. “So we meet again. What do we have?”
Dale started lisping; Tina tried to understand, but quickly put her hand up to stop her. “Someone else, please?” She looked at Kit, then continued to examine Dale.
“Well, long story very short. She was stung by a wasp. But before that, she was sneezing horribly all through dinner.”
Tina nodded. “Okay. I don’t see any swelling in your throat. Your pulse and heart rate are fine.” She opened her bag and took out a hypodermic needle and a vile. She filled the syringe. “I’m going to give you a shot here.”
“Will that work?” Sandy asked.
Tina grinned. “It works on a horse.” She went on quickly when Dale’s brown eyes widened. “Just teasing. It’ll take the swelling down very quickly.” She rolled Dale’s sleeve up, and in a second, it was done. “I think it’s safe to say you’re having an allergic reaction probably to the sting. Unless there was something else around. Where were you?”
“Having my birthday dinner in the dining room,” Kit said sadly.
“Really? Happy birthday,” Tina said.
“Thanks.” Kit avoided Roz once again.
“So the wasp flew in?”
“Yes, and uninvited,” Helen said, sipping her drink.
“No.” Kit glanced at her mother. “It flew out of the centerpiece on the table.”
Roz winced and stepped back. Tina noticed her and smiled. “Hey, Roz. You look guilty.”
“Well…I…well, I got some wildflowers and clover from the fields to make the…um…centerpiece.”
Tina nodded. “And did you check to see if there were any bees or wasps in it?”
“Well…” Roz sighed and avoided Kit. “No.”
“So the sneezing started before the sting?” Tina asked Dale, who nodded. “Okay. The ice helped tremendously. The swelling has gone down. I’d suggest you relax for a day or two. Let me know, or your doctor, if you have any hives or the swelling starts up or if you have trouble breathing. That could be serious. But I think you’ll be fine.” She patted Dale on the arm. “Roz, you still have the Benadryl from the last bee incident?” She smiled sweetly.
“The last bee incident?” Kit asked, almost horrified. “What are you—a beekeeper?”
“No,” Roz said angrily.
“Don’t act like that’s an odd question,” Kit said indignantly. “Stella makes her own jam. Maybe she makes her own
honey—”
“Honey,” Helen chimed in to Roz.
“No, I do not have a bee farm. And yes, I have the
fu
…” She stopped to calm down. “I have the Benadryl.”
“Good. The dosage is on the bottle. Just follow that. I’ll give Roz a call in the morning and see how you’re doing.” She gathered her bag and stood. “Call me immediately if anything changes. I can get to you faster than the fire department. You’ll be just fine.”
Roz snorted, and Dale jumped up. “You did this on purpose!” she blurted out.
“Oh, please,” Roz said.
“Hold on…” Kit tried. Dale would have none of it. So much for her birthday celebration.
“Yes, you did!”
“Dale,” Sandy said. “Think of what you’re saying.”
Roz had it with this kid. “Yeah, Dale. Think,” she said sarcastically. “I knew you’d be allergic to wildflowers and clover, and just to make sure, I caught a wasp by its
iddy
-biddy wings and placed it in there for good measure. And I knew, out of all the people at the table, it would only sting you.” She folded her arms and shrugged. “I’m a genius.”
“It’s not funny,” Dale said angrily. “You did this to make me look bad in front of Kit.”
“You don’t need me,” Roz said. “And while we’re on the subject, Junior, why don’t you go haunt somebody from your own generation?”
“She’s my girlfriend!”
“Not anymore, ace. She’s my wife. And she’ll always be my wife,” Roz said with distinct clarity, so everyone would understand.
“Okay…” Kit tried calmly. She then looked at Roz. “I am?”
“Of course you are,” Roz said, trying to calm down. “If you want to be.”
“Of course I do,” Kit said, smiling.
“Oh, fuck you,
Rozth
!” Dale said.
Helen giggled and leaned into Bess, who sat on the hearth next to her. “She sounds like Sylvester the Cat. Remember the
Looney Tunes
…” She shrank back when Kit whirled around to her. “I’ll be good.”
“Dale,” Sandy said sharply.
Dale turned on her. “And you only wanted to come here to scope out Kit.”
“Oh, man. C’mon,” Kit said, shaking her head.
Sandy’s face turned bright red, whether from embarrassment or anger, no one could tell.
Stan had the fork to his mouth. He glanced at Nate, who looked equally uncomfortable. Both knew this conversation had nothing whatsoever to do with them, but they couldn’t tear themselves away from it—it was like watching a train wreck. It was then Stan saw Mark glaring at both of them from the corner of the room with a look of “I’m watching you.”
“You colossal ass,” Sandy said, walking away from her.
Dale then turned her sights on Tina. “And you, buying my girlfriend a drink.”
“Hey,” Tina said lightly, holding up her hands. “Leave me out of this.”
“She is not your girlfriend,” Roz said again. She looked at Tina. “You bought Kit a drink?”
Kit rubbed her forehead. “All right, can we all—?”
“Yeah, your buddy here
wath
flirting with your
exth
-wife,” Dale said. “How’d
ya
like that one?”
“You have a wife?” Tina raised an eyebrow and laughed. “I didn’t know she was your wife.” Tina turned to Kit. “She neglected to tell me that little bit of information.”
“We’ve been separated,” Kit explained.
“Hmm,” Tina said. “So what the hell have you got going on here, Roz?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roz asked angrily.
Helen laughed and motioned to Stan; he laughed, and as Helen raised her legs, he slid the ottoman under them. “Thank you, darling. I have a feeling we’re going to be here awhile.”
“Well, you’ve got…what?” Tina thought for a moment. “Your ex-wife, her girlfriend, her friend. You went out with me a couple times...”
Helen shook her head. “We need a scorecard.”
“You did?” Kit asked.
Roz rolled her eyes. “It was nothing.”
“Thank you,” Tina said evenly.
“This is better than a movie,” Helen said, watching the angry women.
“That’s not what I meant,” Roz said impatiently.
Dale saw the opportunity. Carpe diem and all that. “Yeah, just what are you doing here? What is this place—your harem?”
“Oh, shut up,” Roz said, completely out of patience.
“Don’t tell her to shut up,” Sandy said, stepping forward.
Helen watched Kit walk over to the fireplace and slowly pick up the little iron shovel. With the others arguing around her, Kit started lightly tapping the shovel against the brick fireplace.
“It’s my birthday,” she said to herself.
Helen reached over and warned Bess by grabbing her arm. Bess’s eyes grew wide as she watched Kit tap the bricks with the shovel.
“Um, sweetie?” Bess whispered.
“It’s my birthday,” Kit said a little louder, as if reminding everyone, but everyone was arguing. When she whirled around, Bess shrank back and held on to Helen’s forearm.
“It’s my birthday.” She hit the fireplace with the shovel. “It’s my birthday,” she yelled now and slammed the shovel against the bricks. “It’s my fucking birthday!” she nearly screamed.
Well, that got everyone’s attention. Everyone stopped and stared at Kit, who was wild-eyed and pissed. “I’m menopausal right now. And standing by open flames, I could spontaneously combust at any moment,” she said and raised the wrought-iron shovel. “I have a shovel in my hand, and I’m not afraid to use it. So everybody just calm…the hell…down.”
Helen blinked rapidly. Out of the corner of her mouth, she whispered to Tina, “Got a horse tranquilizer in that bag?”
Chapter 16
There was peace in the valley once again. The fire gently crackled, the andiron safe in its place by the fire.
After Kit’s meltdown everyone sat around the fire, staring at the flames. Except for Helen. She had her head back, her mouth open; she was sound asleep in the chair.
Roz assured Tina she would look after Dale, who was now upstairs with Sandy, who was really looking after her. Roz figured she’d spend the night—Roz hoped so, anyway. What a mess.
Stella came into the room, cradling a glass of wine. “I picked the wrong year to give up reefer. Has the storm passed?”
Kit laughed then. “Yes. It’s safe. I’m…I’m sorry,” she said to all of them.
“It’s all right.” Bess laughed along. “Do not apologize.”
“She’s right, Kit.” Roz sat on the coffee table in front of Kit. “I’m the one who should apologize. I wanted this to be a great birthday for you, and it all turned to shit.”
“Oh, no,” Kit said, sitting forward. “No, it didn’t.” She reached out and touched Roz’s knee. “It was a wonderful dinner. You all did so much. Thank you. All of you.”
Nate stood and gently cleared his throat. “Well, I’m leaving in the morning. So I think I’ll head off to bed.”
“After all this, Nate, please let me give you a refund. I feel like…”
“No, but thank you. You can’t go refunding everyone.
You’ll never make any money. And you did nothing wrong.” He laughed and scratched his head. “It’s like being at my mom’s for dinner.”
Roz stood and offered her hand. “Thanks for being part of the bedlam. I’m sorry if we…”
“Don’t be. I had a wonderful time, actually. I wish I could stay longer, but…” He grinned and looked around. “This old geezer has an article to write.”
For a moment, his words didn’t register.
“You’re a journalist?” Bess asked.
Stan gave her a disturbed look. “Were you at dinner, Bess?”
“What?” Bess looked confused. Then it hit her. “
Ohh
.”
“Oh, God,” Roz whispered and staggered back. “You’re…”
“Oh, fuck me
runnin
’.” Stella groaned. Disgusted with it all, she finished off her glass of wine. “Well, it’s been nice. English 101, here I come.”
“I-I…” Roz stumbled, having no idea what to say.
Kit quickly stood. “You’re the old geezer?”
“Not helping, Kit,” Roz said, pulling her aside.
“Oh, no, I mean—”
Nate actually let out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, I’m the old geezer from the
Denver Post
.”
“But Stella said the old geez…you would be here in a week or two,” Roz said.
Nate raised an eyebrow. “I know. I heard about the informant from my informant. That’s why I came this weekend. The gossip in this town is remarkable.”
“Please, don’t take it out on Roz,” Kit pleaded. “She’s worked so hard for this. It’s been her dream for years. She loves this place. Can’t you see that? I had a meltdown. This whole mess was my mother’s fault. We were never supposed to be here this weekend. And…Oh, my God. I had a hot flash in front of you.”
Nate continued to laugh. “It’s all right.” He looked at Roz and held out his hand. “I had a marvelous time. Stella is an excellent chef, and you run a very friendly, clean, and comfortable inn. You’ll get a good review. It’ll be in next month’s issue,” he said and winked. “Your honest comment about Mark behind the bar sealed it.”
“Oh, thank you,” Roz said earnestly. She put a hand to her heart. “Thanks. I wanna kiss you.”
“I think you have enough trouble. It was nice meeting all of you. Strange but nice.” He was still chuckling as he headed upstairs.
They all looked at one another, and when they heard his door close, they burst into laughter.
Stella put her hand to her mouth. “I can’t believe I called him an old geezer.”
“And I stripped out of my shirt,” Kit said, hiding her face through her laughter.
“Thank God, he was not stung by the maniacal wasp.” Roz laughed, holding her side.
“And I almost had sex with him!” Bess laughed and slapped her knee.
Everyone stopped laughing and looked at her.
“You did?” Stan asked seriously.
“No,” Bess said, waving him off.
“Then why did you say it?”
Bess shrugged. “I didn’t want to be left out.”
Roz clapped him on the back. “Good luck with this one.”
Helen snorted loudly and woke herself up. She blinked and looked around. “Why are you all laughing? What time is it?”
“It’s later than you think,” Roz said.
“What did I miss?” she asked as she stretched.
Stella’s rendition had Helen laughing and coughing at the same time. “And I missed it! But all’s well that ends well, right?”
“I hope so,” Roz said, looking at Kit.
Stan stood. “Well, I think I’ll head home. I can’t stand any more celebrating with you women.”
“Really?” Bess asked. She stood, as well. “I’ll walk you to your dirty pickup truck, and we’ll talk about it.”
Stan thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “You got a deal.”
Helen sighed. “Well, that one is settled. Mark will be disappointed.” She looked from Roz to Kit. “I need to get out of this chair.” Roz offered her hand and helped her up. “Thank you, my Rosalind.”
“Am I?” Roz asked.
“My Rosalind? Always,” Helen whispered and kissed her cheek. She then kissed Kit. “Did you have a happy birthday?”
“Yes, Mom. Despite all your aggravation and interference. Yes, I had a wonderful birthday.”
“I’m glad, sweetie.” She walked over to Stella. “Stella, old girl, let’s break into that
Limoncello
one more time.”
Stella offered the crook of her arm. “And I think there’s some tiramisu left. Though the way your daughter inhaled it, I don’t see how…”
Helen laughed and held on to Stella’s arm. “She does have a healthy appetite. Gets that from her father. Or it could be the menopause…” They disappeared through the swinging door.
And then there were Roz and Kit.
“She’ll never change,” Roz said.
“God, I hope not.” Kit walked away from Roz and stood by the fire. Her heart beat so rapidly she thought she’d have a stroke.
“So did you really enjoy your birthday?”
Kit turned around to her. “Yes, I really did. I was flabbergasted and stunned at first.”
“You and me both.” Roz cocked her head. “And now?”
“I’m still stunned. I can’t believe I’m here. And all this has happened.”
“Can we talk a bit? Maybe go for a walk?”
Kit nodded. “Let me go get a sweater.”
“Meet you out on the patio?” Roz said with a grin.
“Okay.”
Kit ran upstairs, cursing as she tripped on the stop step.
“C’mon, c’mon,” she whispered as her hands shook, trying to unlock her door. She grabbed the nearest sweater, then dropped it. “Oh, for the love of Mike,” she cried out and picked it up. She ran out, then ran back and spritzed a little perfume, then laughed and dashed out again.
She calmed her nerves as she struggled into the cardigan, then walked through the living room to the dining room, smiling at the mess on the table and the napkins strewn all over. The poor dead wasp lay somewhere in the carnage.
The French doors were open, and Kit quietly walked over and stood in the doorway. Roz stood by the log railing surrounding the patio, pensively looking into the darkness.
She waited for a moment while watching Roz. What was she thinking? What was about to happen? she thought. Would it be like it was? Was that possible? She tried to concentrate on what would be, not what was—the arguing over something so ridiculous. But it scared her that something so silly could come between them so badly. A feeling of insecurity swept through her; did Roz want her back? Or was this a talk of finality?
“I hate my
fricking
hormones right now,” she whispered. “Okay, calm down.”
Trying to keep her hormones in check, she rubbed her hands together and walked out onto the patio. Roz immediately turned around. The serene smile tore at Kit’s heart.
“Thanks for coming,” Roz said.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Kit asked. Roz looked almost petrified now.
“I’m not sure what to think.” Roz laughed nervously. “I’m so overwhelmed by you, Kit.”
“Really?”
Roz nodded. “The minute I saw you. My heart. I nearly had a heart attack, no lie.”
Kit laughed and leaned against the railing. “Honestly, so did I.”
They stood in silence for a moment. Kit tried not to stare at Roz, but it was a losing battle. “What happened to us?”
Roz sighed heavily. “I don’t know. I just thought after we went to that B&B in New England, we were on the same page.”
“We barely talked about it,” Kit reminded her.
“I know. That was me. I had it in my head and just figured…” She stopped for a moment. “We were usually like-minded. And after all those years, I figured this was the same thing.”
Kit agreed. “I know. We seldom argued about anything important. It was the little things.”
“Like picking up after myself.”
“Don’t get me started.”
Roz laughed and couldn’t stop.
Kit glared. “You still love to piss me off, don’t you?”
Unable to stop, Roz merely nodded. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye. She shook her head. “Don’t look now, but we have an audience. In the kitchen window.”
Kit quickly looked but only saw the movement of the blinds. “Mom?”
“Yep. And Stella, I’m sure.”
“Oh, that woman. Well, we have no privacy with the lodge filled with girlfriends and ex-girlfriends.” Kit sighed.
“She’s not your girlfriend.”
“No, she isn’t,” Kit said in earnest. “Why are you grinning? You’re gonna piss me off again, aren’t you?”
“No. Well, not right now, but probably in the future.”
“Will there be a future?” Kit found it hard to swallow.
“Oh, I hope so. I know where we can be alone.”
“Really?”
“Are
ya
game?” Roz gave an enticing grin and offered her hand.
“You had that same damned grin twenty years ago. I’m game.” Kit smiled and took the offering.