I Love You More Than (12 page)

“Felicia, where’s Dana and Elena’s lotion?” David asked as he walked into her room without knocking. Catching her just as she was just about to take off her robe. Quickly grabbing and tying it tightly around herself, she glared at David for his unwanted intrusion.

“They don’t have any. Every time I buy them some, they waste it, spill it or whatever it is they do with it. And it’s gone in less than a week. So now they just use mine. Well I pump it for them.” Felicia knew as she said those words that the reason the girls’ lotion never lasted was because David’s cheap ass wouldn’t buy his own toiletries. Using theirs instead. Felicia was tired of it! All he did was use, use, use and occasionally beg and borrow.

For someone who was obsessive compulsive you’d think they’d keep soap, paper towels and alcohol. Nope! Not David. He didn’t buy one thing for her household. But expected whatever he needed to be readily supplied and available for his use. If it wasn’t he’d expect for Felicia to stop on her way home from work. He expected this of her after she had worked out, picked up the girls then go to the grocery store or wherever to get what it was he needed. As soon as possible when he just came right home after work. There was a time when Felicia used to be happy to do it.

But of late whenever he called with requests for her to stop by the store for this or that, she’d kindly and very dryly let him know she wasn’t stopping by the store on the way home. But, he could run right around the corner and pick whatever it was he needed. It was amazing to think that he existed thirty-five years before they met. Well eighteen of those he was cared for, despite what he says. But one thing was for sure, David was a city hustler thru and thru. And Felicia was tired of playing the part of his top notch bitch.

“Oh. Well, I ran out and needed to use some of theirs.” He provided as his eyes trailed up and down her body. Making her insides crawl. Wanting to get him out of her room five minutes ago, Felicia went in her bathroom and gave David the girls’ old bottle of lotion. Felicia had picked up a bottle of lotion from the Dollar Tree just for this occasion. If his ass wanted to use Jergens then he would have to buy Jergens. Knowing he’d never do this, Felicia filled the girls’ old bottle with the Dollar Tree lotion.

“Here you go, you can use this, just leave it in their room and I’ll get it later.”

“Hm. Okay.” David huskily replied. “You know you’re not looking half bad lately. Looks like you’ve lost a couple of pounds. I have some extra time this morning. I can give you a massage if you would like. You look a little tense.”

It was all Felicia could do to keep the look of disgust off her face. She knew David was full of shit. The last thing she was right now, was tense.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m ok.” After a couple of minutes had passed and David was still standing in her room in the same spot. She began to question if she’d spoken aloud or not. “Did you need something else?”

“No. It’s just that it has been quite a while since we’ve had sex now that I think on it. Just wondering why that is.”

“Well David it was bound to happen sooner or later. We haven’t been together for quite some time and I’m sure you’ve moved on. The last thing I’d want to do is step on another woman’s toes. Anything that we had in the past ran its course some time ago.”

“So that’s the issue.” David announced as he walked towards where Felicia stood by her bed. Reaching out to caress the side of her face, he missed his mark. Felicia jerked her face out of his range.

“You don’t need to be worried or concerned about what I do with other women. I enjoy having sex with you too. That’s all you need to be concerned with.”

This was just one of the many times Felicia wondered to herself each day if David listened to the foolishness that came out of his mouth. What she concluded was that either he didn’t or he just didn’t care about anything other than what he wanted.

“Wow. Well thank you for that…I think. But again, I’m okay. No need to complicate things any further. Speaking of, when is your tenant moving out?”

David had been claiming for weeks and weeks that he was finally moving out. As soon as the tenants lease was up on his house. Again, another promise made, who knew when it would ever be fulfilled.

“Soon. She’s a single mother of three so I’m trying to work with her and give her time to find something else. I don’t want her and her kids to be out on the street.”

It was then that David confirmed for Felicia just how mentally challenged he thought she was. David had been sleeping with his tenant for at least three years now. Why he wouldn’t just go ahead and move in with her Felicia would never know. But nothing would make her happier than for him to leave. A part of her felt like this was one of the reasons he was still around. He wouldn’t have anyone to inflict his daily verbal abuse on.

As it was, Felicia was gone as much as she could. Spending time either with Harrison or at her family’s house. David was almost always in a foul mood whenever she and the girls would get home. But since it was always either right at their bedtime or right before it, they were in constant motion. Preparing for the next day, forcing him to brood silently to himself. Otherwise, it would be too obvious that all he was doing was lying in wait for her to get home so he could pounce on her. And that was just not the type of man David was. No! He only berated and put her down only when she did something to deserve it. Or made a mistake that put her incompetence on display. He never wanted to voluntarily talk about her or be mean to her. He only did that when her actions made him.

“Well that’s very thoughtful of you David. Not many landlords would be so considerate towards their tenants.”

“Yeah well, luckily for me I’m not on the street waiting to move back in.”

“I guess that’s one way to look at it. The other way to look at is I can’t start to do work on my house until you leave. Improvements I’ve been putting off four years waiting for you to move your stuff out of my garage so I can start.”

“You know, you are such a fucking selfish human being Felicia. Here I am making sacrifices to help out a single mother who’s struggling and all you can think of is when she’ll be out? So you can start doing fix it yourself shit around your cookie cutter ass house!”

Felicia refused to allow him to take her to a ten. Breathing deeply she calmly responded. “I think most people would say I’ve gone above and beyond trying to help your tenant. You’ve been saying you’re going to move out back into your house for three years now. Again, above and beyond.”

If looks could kill Felicia would be dead as a result of the stare David pinned her with before turning and walking out of her room without another word. Felicia was past the point of caring about his feelings or what he wanted. Tonight the girls were spending the night with their grandparents and she would be having a sleepover with Harrison. She couldn’t wait!

They hadn’t spent any real quality solo time together since the weekend the girls had gone out of town. Felicia could just hang out and come back home afterwards. Lately David had been cramping her style by staying home on the weekends more and more. She just didn’t want to chance being at home alone with him. When the kids weren’t there, things were much more hostile between the two of them.

Wanting to avoid any and all confrontation with him, Felicia decided to pack an overnight bag. She would stay over at Harrison’s. Harrison…just his name put a smile on her face. She didn’t know what she’d done in a past life to deserve him this time around, but whatever it was she was glad she had done it. He didn’t badger her when they were together about when David was going to move out like she’d expect him to. Harrison knew every time they had to go their separate ways how much she hated going home to where David awaited. She was tired of feeling like a prisoner in her own home. This was no way to live.

Felicia finished packing her bag and quickly got dressed. She had learned from the past that whenever her intuition told her to leave or there would be a knockdown drag out fight, she needed to listen to it. All she could do was laugh to herself.
Looks like she’d lost a couple of pounds
? David was so full of shit and hate. Felicia had actually lost almost twenty pounds and she was happy with the progress she’d made. Now she just wanted to focus more on firming and tightening up her body.

Grabbing her bag, Felicia locked her bedroom door behind her. If she didn’t, she’d have nothing left to use when she returned the next day. The User would make himself comfortable and take whatever he wanted. Nothing was safe, including her Summers Eve powder! Walking to the girls’ room, she saw they were ready. Playing around to kill time waiting on her.

“Okay chickadees, put your coats on and let’s get going!”

“Yaaaay!” They chanted and yelled together. A slumber party at Granny and Gramps’ house was always a great time. No rules and overindulgence. It never failed. Right when they were almost across the threshold, Dana realized she left the next book in the series she was reading on her bed. She knew she would finish the one she was reading now and wanted to be able to start the next one when she did.

“Okay, hurry up and get it.” Felicia rushed.

David sat quietly on the couch putting off an outwardly calm, but Felicia wasn’t fooled. She could feel all the hate and anger exerting from him. He was stewing for a fight. When he realized she wasn’t coming back tonight, he’d just find a way to get his rocks off tomorrow when they returned.

“Bye Daddy!” Elena gave David and hug and kiss that was barely returned.

Dana came jogging down the hall and threw out a brief “Bye Dad.” Things had changed considerably between the two ever since he showed his ass in front of her friend.

“Okay ladies lets hit it.”

“What time will you be back?” he demanded from the couch. Normally he’d be gone by now over Mrs. Gentry’s house. Well his house, that Mrs. Gentry was renting from him.

“Tomorrow afternoon.” Felicia called as she walked out shutting the door behind her.

Putting their bags into the trunk, she closed the lid. David startled her, he was standing before her. If she could curl into herself then and there, she would’ve done so. It wasn’t that David had ever physically hit her… Grabbed her? Pushed her? And shaken her? Yes. Yes. And yes. But it was more his temper and rage that she couldn’t stand being on the receiving end of.

“You’re so stupid sometimes. I wasn’t asking what time they would be back tomorrow. What time will you be back after dropping them off at your parents?”

This was new to Felicia. David never asked about her comings and goings. She damned sure never asked him. He’d blow up if she even thought to keep tabs on him.

“I didn’t misunderstand David. We’ll all be back tomorrow afternoon.” Felicia could tell that threw him for a loop. Whether it was the part where she called him a dumb fuck without saying the words or if it was the fact that she wouldn’t be back she couldn’t say for sure. He gave her one more look of disdain before he walked back inside her house. Slamming her door behind him.

Time was flying and Christmas was rapidly approaching. Harrison and Felicia decided to drive up to the city to do some Christmas shopping. Dana and Elena were spending the night with their cousins. Felicia’s cousin Analia lived for the holidays. She was the homemaker that not only had decorations for every season, she also switched them out…Every season!

Every year she would host a cookie baking slumber party for the kids. When Felicia dropped the kids off, Hailey and her crew were already over. Kissing her babies goodbye, Felicia watched as they raced off down to the basement to see what junk food cousin Al had set them up with this year.

Felicia sat in the high backed bar stool at the island in the kitchen. Sitting next to Hailey waiting for the Martin Inquisition to begin. The Martin Inquisition is what they’d nicknamed the interrogation their mothers would subject them to back in the day. What else could this be when Hailey who was habitually thirty to forty-five minutes late to everything, beat her to Analia’s house? She didn’t have long to wait.

“Girl you are looking good Li! What have you been doing?” Clearly Analia was the first up to bat.

“Nothing much, just been trying to cook less fried food. I’ve been baking more and working out.” She tried to sound as nonchalant about it as she could.

“Well shoot Al, we need the name of her gym. I have never seen you so happy talking about working out at your gym. And I know for a fact I always look like I’m about to take someone out after I leave mine.”

Felicia rolled her eyes at their shenanigans. Still refusing to volunteer any information. Whatever they wanted to know they would have to work for it. You only get told what you ask about. That was the defense mechanism they had developed to survive the Martin Inquisition.

“Shit I know that’s right. Okay so spill it LiLi. What’s got you looking good with an extra pep in your step? With a permanent doublemint smile on your face?” Analia had taken to calling her the childhood nickname to try and sweeten her up.

“I don’t know what you two are talking about. Things are going great at work. Looks like I may be taking Saroya’s place permanently. I love my assistant Jenna. We get along great. And it seems like David may be finally getting the picture and will soon be moving out.”

“Hallelu!” Hailey loudly shouted startling Felicia in her seat.

“Praise be to God!” Analia yelled right behind her. All Felicia could do was shake her head. These were her cousins. The closest thing besides Emma she ever had to real sisters. She was used to their antics. And even though she was crying tears from laughing at the Holy Ghost dance they were currently breaking out in. She knew they were dead ass serious.

They loved their middle sister as they affectionately called her. And had missed the carefree fun individual she used to be.
That Felicia
was overshadowed by the one who was constantly making sure she didn’t do anything to upset David. That Felicia bent over backwards to make him happy. Even if it included not spending the quality time she had been used to with her family.

“Y’all need to stop. Such a mess!”

“Whooo, chile I think I lost five pounds on that one.” Hailey said as she got back into the high backed chair. She was the shorty of the crew. Felicia just rolled her eyes in response.

“Now,” Analia started as she walked to the fridge to grab them all a bottle of water. “I’m not saying that’s not a good enough reason for the changes. Because it is. But there’s something more there…You glowing and shit. That only happens when there’s a man involved. Well and sometimes a woman, but it’s a man right?”

“Heifer you stupid!”

“What? To each his own. I just want to know what brought this change about. I don’t care who it is. At least not right now.”

Felicia was cracking up. They wouldn’t be saying this if they knew whom she’d been spending her time with. They used to hate being around her if Harrison happened to be home visiting. They swore up and down the entire time he was in the same state all they heard was,
Harrison is so this, and Harrison is so that.
They didn’t understand what she saw in
that white boy.

They must’ve gotten contacts when he moved back home six years or so ago. After Hailey had to get some work done on her car and happened to take it to Kincaid’s, it was she who was saying his name all the time.
Why didn’t you ever date Harrison?
You should’ve snatched that white boy Harrison up back in the day. Damn Harrison is one fine ass man.

It got so bad that Vincent, Hailey’s husband gifted her with a new Lexus RX. He’d said with as much as he was spending at Kincaid’s getting her old one fixed he may as well get her a new one with service warranty included. Vincent still talked about the great trade in value he got for Hailey’s old car. Kincaid’s had maintained it extremely well.

“It’s a man Analia, it’s a man.”

“Damn!” At Felicia and Analia’s curious expressions, Hailey continued. “I had some questions I was going to ask if it was a woman.” All they could do was shake their heads at her. “What? Inquiring minds want to know! Hell.”

Felicia visited for little longer as her and Hailey teased Analia that all she was doing was running a little yearly sweat shop. She didn’t even pay the kids for all the work they did. All she did was feed them in junk and sugar as payment.

****

Felicia’s smile automatically expanded on its own when she pulled up to Harrison’s place. Whenever she was around him, her spirit and mood were extremely light and airy. Gone were the shadows, clouds and negativity she felt in the presence of what’s his name? Unbuckling her seatbelt, she turned to open her door and saw that Harrison was already there. Standing beside her car, opening the door for her to get out. A true gentleman, through and through.

“Hi.” Felicia said smiling up at him.

“Hi yourself. Come here.” Harrison grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her car and into his arms. Giving her his signature gentle bear hug. He gave the best hugs in the world. Only her daddy came second. Felicia wrapped her arms up around his neck and in turn hugged him tightly to her.

Harrison pulled back and looked her in the eye. “Tough day?” Somehow he could always sense when she’d been agitated.

“Not anymore.” That seemed to satisfy him. With that he lowered his lips onto hers and took hostage of her lips. Felicia quickly forgot they were outside his building on the street for all to see. She raised her legs and wrapped them tightly around his waist.

Observers were clearly the last thing Harrison was thinking of as well. He pushed her back against the car, grinding his cock into her center. Felicia could feel that he was pleased to see her as well. Harrison cooled the intensity of the kiss and nibbled at Felicia’s bottom lip.

“You still want to go shopping?” he asked looking down on her with so unrestrained desire.

“You bet I do!” Harrison let out a burst of laughter and let her slowly slide down his body. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

“Okay. Lockup your car and get in the Acura. Something tells me we’ll need more storage than the pickup will allow.”

Felicia stuck her tongue out at him and did as he said. A couple minutes later he joined her in the SUV’s warm interior. And they were off. Driving down the highway headed to St. Louis.

“So you want to tell me why you looked so stress when you first arrived?”

“No not really.” Felicia said as she let out a huge sigh. “But I will.” And she proceeded to tell him about the tense conversation between her and David at the house, omitting him offering her a massage. Other than the tense set of his jawbone, there was no outward proof that showed what she had just told him effected Harrison at all.

“Felicia where do you see us going?” Harrison asked in a serious tone.

“It’s honestly something I don’t think about that often.” At the tense set of his shoulders and jaw she rushed on to finish her thought. “I have had a crush on you since I was in high school and you were fresh in the seals. You were always a fantasy for me. Spending time with you, getting to know you better these last few months has been great. It’s been a long time since I could say I was truly happy all the way around. And when I’m with you Harrison, I can’t help but to be happy. But I don’t think about where we are headed.”

Pausing to gather her nerve, Felicia continued on. “I get and understand that I’m in an undesirable situation right now. And if I were you, I’d probably be hesitant about being intimate with me too. I guess what I’m trying to say but failing miserably at is, I value your friendship too much to put any expectations on what we are and what we’re doing. I know you’d never intentionally hurt me and you genuinely enjoy spending time with my girls. Trust me I’ve learned labels don’t bring you security.”

It was Harrison’s turn to let out a huge sigh. “Felicia my number one fear is that you’ll judge me based on that sorry ass excuse for a man. I know he’s the father of your two angels, but he’s still worthless as a man. And with what you just said, that’s exactly what you’re doing.

“I haven’t discussed intentions or labels because I felt you would automatically know I’m in this for the long hall. I want a wife, kids and family to enjoy and spend time with. I want you as my wife Felicia. I’d be honored to have Dana and Elena as my daughters.

“Honestly the only reason Chloe and I even dated and eventually married was because I knew you were with David. Between Emma and mom I stayed informed on what was going on in your life. You were waiting for him to propose any day at one point for about a year I believe.” If it wasn’t for the smirk on his face, Felicia would feel like the dumbest person on the planet.

“Hey what can I say? At least I was young and dumb back then. What’s my excuse now?”

Harrison grabbed her chin lifting her head until it was up and her eyes were level with his. “Hey. None of that. You are just too kind of a person that’s all. One that unfortunately got hooked up with a blood sucking leach. And he just refuses to be burned off by you. But now that we’ve established that we’re together, that won’t be your issue anymore.”

“Hunh, did I black out or something? I feel like I missed something.” Felicia informed him while grinning ear to ear.

“What was there to miss? You told me you want to be with me but feel bad for wanting that when David is still living with you. I told you that I want to be with you. Have wanted to be with you for quite some time. I let him have you once and he fucked it up. He doesn’t get another chance on my watch. Now all that needs to be discussed is if you’re ready to let the girls know that we’re together? It would be nice to stop conspiring to run into each other. To be able to be together just because. But I understand the situation is a little sticky. So whatever you decide, I am fine and in full agreement with.”

Felicia thought long and hard about what it was Harrison was asking from and of her. No she hadn’t been with David for quite some time. But to go ahead and move on and start living her life…while he was still living in her house. That had to be a recipe for strife. But having lived the past thirteen years of her life for someone who couldn’t care less about her was officially a thing of the past. All that had brought her was misery.

“I say let’s do it.” Felicia’s heart was already beating a mile a minute. The sight of Harrison’s dimpled smile, kicked into overtime.