It was more than good enough for Sophie to blow her nose on and wipe her face dry.
“Wow.” Lori looked at her. “You’re really a mess.”
Her twin pointing out the horribly obvious shouldn’t have made Sophie laugh, but she couldn’t hold back a choked giggle. “You think?”
Lori reached for her hand. “It’s just that you’ve never been like this. You’re freaking me out.”
“You’re not the only one.” Although the truth was that
freaking out
was a pathetic, ridiculous understatement of what she was feeling.
“What did Jake do to you?”
Of course Lori would immediately figure out what—
who
—was at the heart of her sorrow. Only Sophie couldn’t exactly say,
Oh, you know, not much besides making the sweetest, most sinful love imaginable to me and then leaving me in the middle of the night, knocked up...and completely lost without him.
She opened her mouth to give her sister an answer, but nothing came out.
“You were with him, weren’t you? That night, after the wedding.”
Sophie nodded. She could at least do that.
“How was it? No, wait.” Lori held up her hand. “Forget I asked. It would be too much like hearing about one of our brothers’ sex lives.”
Only, Jake wasn’t their brother. Just because he’d practically grown up in their house didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t actually one of them.
“I’m just going to assume it was awesome,” Lori said.
Sophie knew what was expected of her here, so she managed another nod.
“Super awesome?”
Sophie sighed, finally responding verbally with, “Yes.” But those thrilling details of their few stolen hours together, while still important, had faded into the background as soon as she’d found out—
“I’m pregnant.”
There. She’d said it. And, oh, if Lori could see her own face right now.
“Hold on.” Lori looked as shocked as Sophie had ever seen her in twenty-five years. “I thought you just said you were p—” She shook her head. “I can’t even say the word, Soph.”
“I haven’t gotten my period since before the wedding.”
“Have you been seeing him in secret all this time?”
Sophie snorted. “Are you kidding me? We did it once—”
One spectacular time
. “—and then he snuck away in the middle of the night.” Leaving her alone in that big bed in that big house in the Napa Valley hills with nothing to hold but a pillow.
“I’m going to kill him.” Lori leapt off the couch and grabbed her cell phone off the kitchen counter. “I’m going to rip his heart out through his throat. Better yet, I’m going to make sure he can never get anyone else pregnant ever again.”
Sophie grabbed her sister a millisecond before Lori was able to find Jake’s number on her phone’s contact list. “Stop! You can’t call him! He doesn’t know yet.”
Lori’s finger stilled over her phone. “You haven’t told him?”
“No. We haven’t even spoken since that night. I only took the tests this morning.” Sophie forcefully pried the phone out of her sister’s hand. “I love you for having my back. But I’ve got to deal with this myself.”
She didn’t feel great by any means, but after the long cry—and confessing the news to her sister—she felt better. Stronger.
Like she might actually be able to face Jake without crumbling.
“I can’t believe this,” Lori said. “Here you’ve been all over me for a year to break this thing off with you-know-who because he’s ‘bad for me’ and one night is all it takes for you to get in big trouble.”
It could have sounded like gloating in another context, but Sophie knew it wasn’t. It was simply Lori stating the crazy irony of their situation.
“I never thought something like this would happen to me,” Sophie said.
And still a voice in the back of her head was saying,
Even if you knew how this was going to end up, you would have done it anyway. You would have given up everything, anything at all, for the chance to be with him.
“It could work, you know,” Lori said, halfheartedly. “Maybe he’ll step up to the plate. Maybe the two of you can actually make this work.” She looked down at Sophie’s stomach. “Well, the three of you, I guess.”
Sophie knew better than that. “I don’t want him to be with me only out of duty.” She took a deep breath, letting oxygen fill her lungs and help rebuild her strength. “I want love.”
She could see in Lori’s eyes confirmation of what all her siblings had known: Jake didn’t believe in love. Sophie could try the rest of her life to convince him, but it would just be a waste.
“Oh, Soph.” She scowled. “I’m still going to kill him. Just as soon as you give him the news.”
It would have been so much easier if Sophie could blame Jake for everything. But even now, she had to be fair. “It wasn’t all his fault. I tricked him into sleeping with me. I made it impossible for him to walk away.”
“Are you kidding me?” Lori let go of her hands and stomped on the wooden floor in her fury. “How could you possibly have trapped a guy like Jake into sleeping with you? Did you cement his feet to the ground and hop up on him while he begged you to stop?”
Sophie was beyond glad for the way her sister always made her laugh. Even in the worst of times. “You said you didn’t want details,” she reminded her twin.
“Right. Okay. No details. But you don’t have the kind of experience he does with the opposite sex. Seducing you would have been like taking candy from a baby.”
The word
baby
brought them both back to the most important issue at hand.
“You’re going to have a baby, Soph.” Lori’s eyes were wide with wonder.
Sophie put her hands over her stomach, even though she knew there had to be something barely the size of a pea inside her. That was when it finally hit her.
A baby.
Even though she was terrified, she suddenly couldn’t help but be thrilled. She was going to have a little boy or girl with Jake’s eyes, a child that would run her ragged, if Jake’s energy was anything to go by.
“I’m going to love it so much.”
Lori actually looked like she was going to cry. “All of us will.”
Oh God. Her family. Her mother. Her brothers. She didn’t want to think about how badly they’d lose it over this.
“Don’t you dare tell a soul.”
“But—”
“No one, Lori. Swear to God, you’d better let me deal with this—with Jake—the way I need to.”
Lori frowned. “Okay,” she said, very reluctantly. “But don’t forget, you’ve got at least seven people backing you up on this. Six with really big fists.”
Sophie smiled at her. “Thanks, Lori.”
“Hey,” her sister said with a smirk, “I’m just glad it’s you and not me.”
Now, there was the evil Lori she knew and loved. “You almost cried there for a second,” Sophie said.
“Did not.”
“Did too.”
The familiar patter of their bickering helped center Sophie a little more. Enough that by the time she headed back outside, she decided she was strong enough to go and do what needed to be done.
It was time to tell Jake he was going to be a father.
Chapter Ten
The numbers on the spreadsheets covering the desk in Jake’s home office blurred before his eyes. As difficult as words were for him to process, numbers had always been easy.
He shoved away from his desk, knowing any work he tried to do now he’d have to re-do in the morning. The only reason he’d stayed home tonight was to power through some work. If he wasn’t going to be able to get any of it done, he might as well be at one of the pubs working the taps.
He grabbed his cell phone off the kitchen counter and saw a missed call from Zach Sullivan. For ten weeks he’d gone out of his way to avoid the Sullivans. He couldn’t face Zach or Marcus or Chase or Gabe, not knowing what he’d done to their sister. It was the lowest he’d ever stooped, so low he still couldn’t believe what he’d done. He kept hoping he’d wake up and it would all be a crazy dream...but any time he managed to sleep, all he could see was Sophie and the look in her eyes when she’d told him she loved him.
Forever.
He knew better, knew she couldn’t actually love him. She loved a fantasy version of Jake McCann that she’d probably been writing in one of her childhood journals since she was a little girl in pink dresses and pigtails.
She’d never forgive him for what he’d done and Jake knew he didn’t deserve her forgiveness, just as he knew it was for the best that she steer clear of him from now on. Because now that he knew the taste of her, the feel of her...
He needed to get to the pub, where the noise and activity would distract him from thinking about her. He shoved his phone in his pocket, grabbed his car keys, and yanked open the front door.
Sophie Sullivan stood on his front steps. “Oh, hi. I was just about to knock.”
“What the hell are you doing here?”
It was exactly what he’d asked her when she’d showed up at his rental house in Napa. He knew coming at her so aggressively wasn’t doing a damn thing to make up for the way he’d treated her, but it was the best he could do given that even looking at Sophie had his brain cells scrambling.
She looked uncertain and uncomfortable. Along with tired—at least as tired as he felt.
“Could I come inside?”
“Don’t you remember what happened the last time?” He all but growled the words at her, but even though she paled and her eyes widened, she didn’t make a move to leave.
“Yes,” she said softly. “That’s exactly what I’m here to talk to you about.”
Jake didn’t trust himself around her. Just as he’d expected—if he saw her again, one look would be all it took for him to be gripped with a fierce urge to drag her off and chain her to his bed.
God, he was sick, thinking even now about all the ways he could corrupt her.
Nice.
He had to remember she was nice...rather than the innately sensual woman who had writhed and cried out beneath him, desperate for pleasure when it turned out that beneath her sweet, innocent,
nice
facade was a naughty woman who—
“I don’t have time for this tonight.” The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but if she stayed, if she let him touch her again, he’d only end up hurting her more. “I’ve got to get back to the pub.”
“Too bad,” she said, “because you and I need to talk. Now.”
She shoved past him, a fierce Sophie Sullivan he hadn’t known existed until now.
As he shut the door and turned to face her, Jake was wholly focused on tamping down his reaction to how beautiful she was, how good she smelled, how much he wanted to pull her against him. He was so focused on hanging on to his almost nonexistent control, that he nearly missed her next words.
“I’m pregnant.”
The earth actually stopped spinning, nearly pitching him off the edge. His brain tried to hold on to what she’d just said, but he couldn’t wrap his head around it. Couldn’t believe he’d heard what he thought he’d just heard.
He stared at her stomach, her sweater and skirt tight enough at the waist for him to see that it was still flat.
“I probably won’t start showing for another month.”
Panic gripped him at the thought of being a father. He’d never planned on having kids. Had made damn sure something like this would never happen.
“You’re sure it’s mine?”
She looked like he'd hauled off and nailed her with a fist to her jaw, rather than asking her a question. “The wedding was two and a half months ago.” She worked visibly to calm down. “You are the only man I’ve slept with in—” She paused. “—a long time. It couldn't have been anyone else.”
Panic and shock still clawed at his guts, but it couldn’t override the purely primitive male instinct to claim her and his kid that instant.
Relief swept through Jake at knowing she was his.
Only his.
She took a deep, shaky breath. “I came here to tell you what...what happened. You deserve to know, not to always wonder if my little girl or boy is yours.”
Her words, and the image they conjured up, nearly brought him to his knees.
A little girl. Or boy.
His
daughter or son.
“When?” he asked in a voice that was still too harsh.
“I think I’m somewhere between twelve to fourteen weeks, so…fall.”
Jake had never marked time by anything other than business trips and vacations...and beatings when he was a kid. “Have you seen a doctor yet?” Again, the words were rough as he couldn't manage to temper the primitive instinct to claim her and the baby as his.
Now.
Forever.
She looked surprised by his question. “I have an appointment for tomorrow.”
“Good,” he said, needing to get closer to her, her glow pulling him in the way it always had. Only he couldn’t remember how to fight it anymore. “I’m coming with you.”
“Wait.” She shook her head, took a step back from him, widening the gap he’d just been closing. “I didn’t just come here to tell you I’m pregnant. I also came to tell you that I don’t want anything from you. And that no one needs to know you’re the father.”
“Like hell.”
She looked shocked by his reaction. But despite her shock, she didn’t budge an inch, even as he continued to close the distance between them.
“Why are you saying that?” she asked. “I thought you’d be happy to hear that I don’t want anything from you. That way you can keep your free lifestyle.”
The word
free
twisted on her lips until it sounded like a curse.
“I’m not going to let you walk away, Sophie. And I’m not going to let you tell your family, your friends, that some random guy did this to you.” He pointed his index finger at his chest. “It was
me.
”
Sixty seconds ago, he’d been trying to get her to admit it wasn’t. But now the truth came out: He was desperate to claim this kid as his.
And her, too
, a mocking voice in his head told him.
Finally you can have everything you’ve ever wanted. Even though you don’t deserve any of it.
“I know you’ve probably forgotten what happened that night, but I haven’t.” Sophie’s frustration had morphed into full-on anger. It was another side to her that he’d never known existed. “You were gone as soon as you could sneak away, probably wishing for an escape hatch long before you actually left. We both know you have absolutely zero interest whatsoever in being with me. The fact that I’m pregnant doesn’t change any of that. For so long, I wanted you to notice me. To see me. And you did, for one night. But then I realized that even though I got what I thought I wanted, it didn’t mean anything.” She shook her head. “It was great sex, but I want more than lust. I want undying love. I want that look that Chase gave Chloe when he promised to be hers forever.”