I Promise (2 page)

Christy grasped Todd's hand tighter and tried to calm her rising emotions. “No, I'm not worried about what other people think. It's just that I would like our wedding to be special and well thought out. I want us to have enough time to plan everything the right way and not to feel rushed down the aisle. Does that make sense?”

Todd bent over and kissed Christy tenderly on the cheek. “Yes. That makes sense. What you're trying to tell me is that January is too soon.”

“Yes, January is too soon.” Christy wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. Her breathing returned to normal. She liked the idea of getting married here in the meadow. She could picture the two of them standing right here in the cool of the evening sometime next August.

Todd pulled away so he could look her in the face. “So, if January is too soon, what are you thinking? February?”

“No, I'm still thinking August would be best.”

“August!” Todd laughed. “We don't need eight months to plan a wedding.”

“Yes, we do.”

“March.” Todd held her at arm's length. “Easter vacation. It'll be perfect weather. You'll almost be done with school.”

“Easter vacation is in April.”

“Okay, then April. Not August. April. I want to marry you, Christy. I want to be with you. I want us to start our life together. This is what we've been waiting for.”

“We've both been waiting, Todd. We've both been thinking and praying about it for almost six years. Eight more months is nothing. We can wait until August.”

Todd looked out over the meadow. The risen sun now cast its filtered light through the mist, shining on
the droplets of moisture that clung to the grass, turning them into tiny diamonds. All across the meadow it appeared as if the stars had fallen from the heavens and were scattered at their feet, creating new constellations in miniature.

Christy watched as Todd stuck out his chin and seemed to be processing all this with a firm determination. He was usually Mr. Whatever, laid back about everything. He had told her several months ago that he was inexperienced with things like birthday parties and holidays. Evidently he knew even less about planning weddings.

“Trust me, Todd,” Christy said softly. “April is too soon.”

“Yeah? Well, August is definitely too far away. We can fit in a wedding before this summer. I'm sure we can.”

“Why fit it in? Why not wait until I graduate and have the wedding in June?” Christy asked. “The meadow will be beautiful in June.”

Todd shook his head. “No, not June. It's looking like my position at the church will turn into full time on June first. I don't see how I could take a week off in June for our honeymoon.”

“Maybe if you asked them now and explained—”

Todd turned his perplexed face toward Christy. “You know what? I don't want to talk about this right now. Let's get something to eat.” He reached for her hand and started for the parking lot.

Christy noticed how the sun had pierced the morning
clouds that previously had spread across the meadow. The glittering field of diamonds had evaporated, leaving a long stretch of dried winter grass. Nothing was enchanting about the world around them anymore.

Is this what happens when a match made in heaven tries to walk on the earth? How can the glimmering magic disappear so quickly?

Todd remained deep in his own thoughts as they drove into town in their Volvo station wagon. Christy told herself she should have been more spontaneous as they dreamed aloud about their wedding date.

I could have simply said yes to January or any other month. As soon as Todd was presented with the details, he would have changed his mind and adjusted to a more practical date. This is the time for me to be dreamy, not practical.

“It looks like that restaurant is open.” Christy pointed to a café they were approaching. She hoped they could sit down and calmly discuss their wedding plans over a leisurely breakfast. This time around she would be less practical and more dreamy.

“I was thinking of a breakfast burrito,” Todd said. “Do you mind if we go to Roland's Drive Thru?”

“I don't think there's a Roland's around here.”

“I know one is near Doug and Tracy's house at the beach.”

“That's a long drive. Are you sure you want to wait that long to eat?”

“I don't mind,” Todd said. “Do you?”

Stop being so practical about everything! Just agree for once.

“Okay, Roland's is fine with me.”
Even though it seems crazy to drive such a long way just to get a certain type of fast food.

“Can we work on the Mexico trip?” Todd asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Can we start planning while we drive to Carlsbad?”

“You don't want to talk about our wedding date anymore?”

“Not now. I think a note pad is on the backseat. A pen should be in the glove compartment. It would help me a lot if we could work on the Mexico trip. Could you make a list like we did for the camping trip to the desert?”

Christy found the note pad and pen. In fat letters she wrote
MEXICO
at the top of the paper.

“We need tents,” Todd said. “Could you put that on the list? And we need extra tarps, in case it rains.”

As Todd continued with the list of what they needed, Christy took notes. All her letters came out thick and angry.

Why is it you can be practical about Mexico, Todd, but not practical about setting a wedding date?

The longer they talked, the longer the list became. Todd expressed surprise every time Christy thought of another necessary component of the trip, such as medical release forms for each teenager and whatever
parental permission they needed to take the students across the border.

She wanted to say, “See? Every event takes careful planning. Especially something as huge as a wedding.” But she didn't. The frustration expressed itself only in the thick black printing that filled two pages on the note pad.

As soon as they exited the freeway in the beach town of Carlsbad, Todd rolled down his window. He seemed to need to fill his lungs with salty ocean air. Christy was glad for the fresh air, too. Her emotions had begun to spiral into a nose dive.

Where are all the lovey-dovey feelings I felt for Todd this morning? Why can't we spend the day dreaming about us? Did I ruin everything by not being spontaneous enough when he was in a dreamy mood?

“Hey, how's it going?” Todd said to the speaker box at the drive-through. “I'd like four breakfast burritos and two large orange juices.” He turned to Christy. “What would you like?”

Christy tried to see the menu printed on the box outside Todd's window, but his arm blocked the sign. “Do they have French toast?”

“French toast?” Todd repeated as if he had never heard of such an item before.

“Never mind. I'll just have an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich and a milk.”

Todd repeated her order and drove up to the window.

“Are you okay?” Todd asked.

Christy tucked her hair behind her ears and glanced at his handsome face.
How can I explain to you all the intense feelings colliding inside me for the past hour? I'm afraid that if I say anything, I'll be sorry later and hammer myself to pieces for making a big deal out of nothing.

“I'm okay,” Christy said in a low voice.

Todd paid the employee at the open window and handed the food to Christy. She was going to ask if he wanted to park the car so they could eat, but he turned left onto the main road, and she knew where he was headed. The call of the wild that always beckoned to Todd was the ocean. They were less than a mile from where the blue Pacific ran to meet the California coast. Christy knew she should have guessed that was why they had driven all this way for breakfast burritos. Todd wanted to eat their first breakfast as an engaged couple on the beach.

Only Todd didn't head for the beach. He turned toward the freeway.

“Are we going back to school?” Christy asked.

“No, I just thought we could share our breakfast.”

Share our breakfast? What's he talking about?

Todd pulled the car to the side of the road under the freeway overpass and grabbed one of the large orange juices.

“Can you hand me two of those burritos?” he asked Christy. Then, leaving the engine running, Todd jumped out of the car and took the food to a homeless man huddled under a cardboard box. She hadn't noticed
the guy when they had exited the freeway, but obviously Todd had.

As Christy watched Todd smile and offer the hot food to the surprised man, her heart beat a little faster. A troubling thought settled on her like an ominous shadow.
I'm going to spend the rest of my life with a man who is given to random acts of impulsiveness. I'm never going to know where we're going or what we're doing or with whom we'll be sharing our meals. Nothing will be predictable about our life together. Nothing orderly or steady or sure.

Christy swallowed hard. Todd was jogging back to the car wearing a wide grin of contentment. She tried hard to press a welcoming smile across her face to greet him, but in her heart, all she could think was,
I don't know if I'm ready for this.

2
Todd turned the car around and drove to the beach, where they parked and carried their breakfast over to a large, smooth boulder. Christy ate slowly, her eyes fixed on the endless ocean stretched out before them. She could feel Todd's gaze on her. Because they had sat together many times at the ocean without exchanging words, the silence felt familiar and had a comforting effect on her. Folding up the uneaten half of her breakfast sandwich, she let out a deep breath.

“Does it scare you?” Todd reached over to brush his fingers across Christy's cheek.

“Does what scare me?”

“Getting married. Or more specifically, marrying me?”

Unnerved at how Todd could read her thoughts, Christy threw up a smoke screen. “Why do you think I'm afraid?”

Todd traced the rim of her ear with his finger and didn't answer. She knew he was waiting for her.

“We don't think the same way,” Christy blurted out.

“No, we don't.”

Christy leaned her cold cheek against his warm hand. She decided to go ahead and hook a few of her fishy feelings onto the end of the line he patiently was holding over the deep waters of her heart. “Todd, I'm afraid that being married is going to be hard.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“It will be a gigantic adjustment for both of us. We're opposites in so many ways.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“You approach life differently than I do. You see things differently. I don't think the way you do.”

“That's okay.” Todd stroked her hair. “I don't see our differences as a problem.”

“Of course you don't! That's my point. What's major to me is minor to you.”

“I think our differences are good,” Todd said. “We balance each other out.”

“I think our differences will make it harder for us.” Todd lifted a handful of her long hair and brushed the ends across his lips.

“Todd, I don't think you and I know each other as well as we think we do. We have a lot of adjustments ahead of us.”

“And a whole lifetime to work on them.” Todd pulled her toward him so her head rested on his shoulder. In a calm voice he said, “Learning about each other and working through the adjustments are part of
what makes a relationship alive and growing. I'm looking forward to that part of our future.”

“I'm not,” Christy heard herself say. “I think we're going to drive each other crazy. I'm so determined to have everything organized, and you're so spontaneous and so, so . . . random!”

“Yeah, I guess I am. What was it Katie called me a couple of months ago on our camping trip?”

“You mean when you brought plastic hangers instead of metal ones because you didn't realize I wanted to use them to roast marshmallows?”

Todd nodded.

“Katie said you were ‘detail impaired.'”

Todd laughed. “That's right. And Matt told her it wasn't nice to discriminate against people who have disabilities.” He drew Christy's head down till it rested against his chest.

“You know what I think?” Todd asked. “I think we all have disabilities or areas where we're impaired. You help me where I'm weak, and I help you where you're weak. That's what makes us strong together.”

Christy wrapped her arms around his middle and cuddled up close. With a sigh she said, “I don't know, Todd. I hope you're right. Katie says I have a ‘tidiness' issue. She says I have to have everything in place all the time or I'm not happy.”

Todd chuckled.

“Do you think she's right?” Christy pulled back and looked into Todd's face.

“I think God brought us together so I could learn
the rewards of being spiritually disciplined from you and so you could learn the joys of walking by faith from me. We're made for each other, Kilikina.”