I So Don't Do Mysteries (13 page)

Junie's waiting at
the Wild Animal Park entrance for
me. “Where were you?”

“An ostrich farm. I was following a suspect, and he works there,
and—”

“Sherry. Stop.” Junie cuts me off. “Try this.” She hands
me a wrapped candy. “I got a bunch of saltwater taffy from the candy store underneath the
Hotel Del.”

I slowly chew on tacky maple walnut. I know the candy is Junie's unsubtle way
of shutting down the mystery conversation. But I won't be shut down. When I get my teeth
unstuck, I say, “You know, I've put up with some strange stuff from you. And I was
way, way more understanding.”

“Are you referring to when I joined the chess club? 'Cause
that's a lot different than asking me to believe your mom's a ghost, your
grandfather's a wren and the three of you are solving a mystery about rhinos.” Junie
crosses her arms. “Also, for the record, you were not all that understanding.”

I thought it was going to be better having a friend here. Maybe not.
“Where's Amber?”

“Shopping. The only way I got her to bring me was by telling her about the mall
nearby.” Junie sighs. “She actually air-kissed someone when we were leaving the set.
She's driving me insane.”

And things are instantly improved between Junie and me.

I look at my wrist, where there'd be a watch if I wore one. “Time to
meet Kendra Phillips,” I say, just tossing it out there like it's an everyday
occurrence.

“What?”

“She's how I really got up here this morning. I just told you guys I was
taking a tour.” We start walking toward Nairobi Village. “Because I was worried Amber
would open her big mouth to Damon about Kendra coming to the Wild Animal Park. Which, judging
from the argument we overheard, he's hard-core against.”

Junie shakes her head back and forth like she's a shaggy dog who's
drying off after a bath. “Wait. I'm still back at ‘Time to meet Kendra
Phillips.' ”

So I tell her about impersonating Sue and how I scored the ice cream coupons.

“What's she like?”

“Into rhinos.”

It's not often Junie's speechless. And I think I see a hint of respect in
her eyes. Probably because I was resourceful, not because I'm solving a mystery.

We hook up with Kendra at a grass + dirt picnic area right by Nairobi Village.
Surprisingly, she decides to grab chili in sourdough bread bowls with us, even after I tell her I
don't need a ride back to the Del anymore. She must truly be hungry.

Once we're seated at a round plastic table, Kendra says, “So, Junie, are
you as interested in rhinos as Sherry?”

“I don't know.” Junie fidgets with her napkin. She's
definitely uncomfortable with the rhino convo.

“We'll make you into a rhino lover.” Kendra's eyes
sparkle. She says to me, “According to Sue, we've got some new rhino fans who hang
out by the fence. They met on an arthritis Web site. Let's go say hi, and I'll extend an
official spokesperson welcome.”

“I'm not up for a hike to the rhino exhibit. Not with the three nasty
blisters I have on my right foot,” I say. Also, I'm avoiding Sue.

“Sherry, you need to connect with the rhinos on their level, ground
level.” With a plastic spoon, Kendra scrapes the last of the chili from her bread bowl.
“Up close and personal.”

Like I don't know up close and personal with the rhinos. Not that I can tell her
about it.

Seriously, though, I'm done. My lungs practically collapsed after my superhero
leap from the monorail. A buffalo almost gored me to death. I've covered miles in my sandals.
I spent time with a creepy ostrich farmer. I'm not exactly getting along with my mom. Bottom
line: I need a nap.

I swallow a mouthful of Coke and prepare to whine.

Squawk. Squawk.

I squint up at the bright sky.

It's a raggedy shadow. It's an elderly wren. It's my
grandpa.

He plops to the ground by my feet and starts pecking at crumbs.

Good. We need to talk about my mother. But in private. “Doesn't ice
cream sound good?” I push out a groan. “I'd get it if I wasn't dealing
with blisters.”

Kendra frowns. “Actually, I could use a tea.” She pushes back her chair
and stands. “Ice cream is at a different kiosk. So you're on your own for
that.”

I look at Junie with big cow eyes.

“Fine,” she says. “But you pay.”

The second Junie and Kendra are out of earshot, I lean over. “Grandpa,
where's Mom?”

With his beak, he scratches out the shape of a house in the dirt.

“The Whaley House? She went back to the Whaley House?”

He bobs his little head up and down.

I am brilliant. I pinch off some of my bread bowl and toss it to him.

He croaks,
Blah, blah, bad, blah, blah.

I say, “Bad? She feels bad?”

Now
I
feel bad. Hate that mother guilt thing. “Fine.” I huff.
“I'll go talk to her later.” I wag my finger at him. “Did she even tell you
what she did to my cell phone?”

“Sherry, you are such an animal person. You're talking to that bird,
aren't you?” Grinning, Kendra tugs on the tea bag string, swishing it around in her
cup.

Junie comes up right behind Kendra. From the stony look on her face, she
must've heard Kendra's question.

Not answering, I say, “Thanks, Junie.” I reach for my soft serve.

Kendra swings her purse over her shoulder. “Let's hit the trail,
girls.”

I stand and take a few weak, limpy steps, then pause to lick my cone for strength.

Grandpa hops up onto the table and sticks his head into my bread bowl. He wrestles
with it till he's got it clasped in his beak, then half-hops, half-flies behind me.

“Looks like you picked up a new best friend.” Kendra grins again, then
strides off, her purse bumping her back.

Junie's face goes even more closed.

Kendra's like a drill sergeant and forces us to march at an unhealthily fast clip.
Too bad she's not megafamous with fans mobbing her every few feet for autographs. Instead,
she keeps us moving nonstop, which means I have constant weight on my blisters. There is much pain
involved in detective work.

Finally, while I still have a little feeling left in my feet, we arrive at the exhibit. Totally
beat, I flop down on the grass and yank off my right sandal. Just as I suspected, one blister has
ballooned to the size of a radish. The other two aren't much smaller.

Still dragging my bread, Grandpa bounces up next to me.

Junie stands across the path. Her eyes jump from Grandpa to me to Grandpa to me,
over and over again. Like when a computer gets stuck and keeps looping through the same stuff.

I check out the fence. Sure enough, there's a bunch of extremely old people.
Some are even leaning on walkers or canes. Incredible how determined they are to see the rhinos.

A bald man hunches forward in his wheelchair, binoculars glued to his face.
“These animals appear to be very healthy. The Park must take excellent care of them,”
he says.

Enter Kendra with a friendly smile and an outstretched hand. “The Park does
take excellent care of its rhinos.”

Looking confused, Bald Man slowly extends his arm.

A tall, wrinkly woman with lavender hair and a matching cane says, “Who are
you?”

Kendra blasts into a whole public-relations spiel. All about how involved she is in
preventing rhino extinction, the documentary she did at some preserve in Africa, her duties as the
Park's official rhino spokesperson. Her pitch rises; her volume varies; her eyes twinkle. Her
body language is screaming rhino love and commitment.

And when she's done . . . silence. Complete silence.

Bald Man retracted his arm somewhere between “extinction” and
“documentary.”

Kendra flushes and her shoulders go all stiff.

Awkward,
I mouth across the way to Junie.

A male voice calls out, “Kendra!”

We all turn to see a young, übercute security guy jogging down the path toward
us. He's like something out of a sports-car commercial with his wavy brown hair blowing back
in the breeze. And he's neat and put together in a uniform with creases and badges.

I think I'm all of a sudden attracted to guys in uniforms. Maybe I'll
suggest to Josh that he check into a part-time security job at the mall when he turns sixteen.

“Senior-discount cards, folks.” Mr. Security Guy waves small cards in
the air.

He has a British accent! Even cuter.

He smiles sincerely in Kendra's direction. “It's great to see
you.”

“You too, Gary.” She relaxes her shoulders.

Most of the old people hobble over to him.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Gary announces, “allow me to
introduce Kendra Phillips, our rhino spokesperson.”

The old people look around at each other, at the ground, at their discount cards. Then
they go back to talking among themselves. One reminds another to take a pill. Pretty soon
they're all staring at the savanna, where Ongava's wandered over near the fence and is
pulling on a clump of grass.

Kendra flushes again.

“Don't take it personally.” Gary lowers his voice. “Most
of them are in constant pain from arthritis. It's probably close to medication time.” He
makes a sweeping gesture with his arm. “You've got to appreciate their fascination with
the rhinos. They literally spend hours watching them.”

“Amazing,” Kendra says.

Personally, I think it's too strange. What normal old person spends their
retirement studying rhinos at the Wild Animal Park? What happened to shuffleboard and bridge and
time-shares?

One frail woman stops rubbing a man's humped-up shoulder to point at a
female rhino who left the crash for a drink at the water trough. Whoohoo. Such excitement. Really,
there's only one logical explanation for these fanatical rhino fans: They're old and
losing it a little. Or a lot.

Grandpa flies over by Tall Lavender Lady. He's always liked purple.

“Any news on Gina giving birth yet?” Kendra asks.

“Nothing. But you can ask Sue yourself,” Gary says.
“She's coming down this way soon.”

Ack. Eek. My sandal in my hand, I totter over to them.

Junie follows me.

I clear my throat. “Kendra, I'd kinda like to get going. I don't
want this blister to get infected.”

I think she does a mini eye roll before introducing me and Junie to Gary.

“Glad to meet you.” Gary smiles. “Any friends of
Kendra's are friends of mine.”

“I first met Gary in South Africa,” Kendra says. “He worked at
the Lapalala Reserve, keeping it safe from poachers.” She beams at him. “And
he's an expert with a dart gun. Once a year, he'd inject birth control from a helicopter
into female elephants to help manage the elephant population.” She ups the beam to halogen
intensity. “Very tricky, and he was the best.”

“I read an article about that,” Junie says. She starts asking him questions
about elephants.

Boring subject, but I find I'm basking in Gary's overall adorableness.
His eyes are the exact color of Hershey's Kisses. His voice is warm and genuine and wraps
around me like a soft blanket.

All animated about Africa, Junie leans toward Gary.

She's flirting! In her own little intellectual way. Junie's definitely going
through big changes this trip. Stammering around Ben, flirting with Gary. What's next?

I break loose from Gary's spell to look for Grandpa, who isn't by Tall
Lavender Lady anymore. I limp past the fence and the group of old people plastered to it. I wave to the
female crash, way off in the exhibit. Where's Grandpa?

Tall Lavender Lady and one of the old men stand close together, apart from the others.
The old man is small and wrinkled. He's wearing a straw gardening hat and a sweatshirt with
ARTHUR'S LANDSCAPING
screen printed on the back.

I can always spot a budding romance. Just a little talent I have. With the incredible
height difference, they make a sweet, odd couple. He says something about “two-step.”
How cute. They're planning a country-western dancing date. So much more appropriate than
rhino ogling.

With gnarled, swollen fingers, he reaches into his pants pocket and slowly draws out a
rolled-up Ziploc bag. He holds it in the palm of his hand while Tall Lavender Lady unrolls it.

“So, this is Keflit,” she says. “Arthur, it's
beautiful.”

Keflit? Never heard of it. I inch up to them.

Yowser. Turquoise + sea green crystals. The exact same shade as my bedroom walls.
Keflit would be perfect in my aquarium. And Tall Lavender Lady is right: Keflit is beautiful. Like royal
jewels, the crystals glitter and gleam and dance in the sunlight.