I Will Always Love You (7 page)

“I love it up here,” Hollis said. “It’s like a party in the sky. LA was nothing like this. In LA, you always have to get in
your car to do just about anything. Here, everyone’s so connected.” He shrugged as he sipped his beer and surveyed the surrounding
rooftops. “I kind of wish I had my camera.”

“I have mine.” Vanessa pulled her camera out of her messenger bag and offered it to him. She crossed her arms over her chest
and clamped her teeth together so they wouldn’t chatter. She didn’t want Hollis to know how cold she was, because she didn’t
want him to suggest they head back downstairs.

Is that so?

Hollis took the camera carefully from her hands and pointed it in her direction. “I’m glad we came up here,” he said, slowly
panning the camera so it took in the other rooftops. He stopped once he came to Vanessa. “So, tell me the story of your life.
Maybe I can make it into a movie that’ll get me out of my five-hundred-square-foot apartment.”

“Do you use all your students for story ideas?” Vanessa took a sip of PBR to stop herself from saying anything else stupid.
Why was she suddenly so nervous? She’d spent plenty of time alone with Hollis, debating the merits of Cassavetes after class.
But for some reason, being alone with him right now felt scary and thrilling at the same time.

“As you pointed out: You’re not my student anymore. Now, sit on the picnic table over there and tell me more about yourself.
That’s an order,” he added, a playful smile snaking across his lips.

“What do you want to know?” Vanessa perched on a rickety picnic table surrounded by rusted lawn chairs, the cold seeping through
her jeans. No guy had ever asked to film her before. She used to film Dan a lot. But she didn’t want to think about Dan right
now.

Wonder why?

“Right now, you’re doing this little snarl thing with your upper lip, but you’re smiling the whole time. It’s cute. Has anyone
ever told you you do that?” Hollis asked.

“No.” Vanessa shook her head. She smiled while snarling? And Hollis thought it was cute?

We all have our special talents.

Below them, people from the bar across the street were spilling onto the sidewalk, blowing noisemakers. “It’s almost New Year’s!”
someone yelled into the night air.

“Should we go back downstairs?” Vanessa asked nervously. Hollis put the camera down on the bench and sat down next to her.

Just then, the group clustered on the sidewalk began counting down: “Five, four, three, two, one…

“Happy New Year!” The phrase rose like a collective chorus, from the streets below and the roofs around them.

Hollis brushed his hand against Vanessa’s cheek, then cupped her chin and pulled her mouth toward his. “In case you thought
you missed your opportunity for a New Year’s kiss,” he murmured as his lips brushed hers.

Vanessa hesitated for a fraction of a second, as an image of Dan’s sallow face flashed across her mind. Dan, her Dan, who
was back and wanted to move in together, go to school together, start a life together. But it was this thought exactly that
made her kiss Hollis right back. His mouth tasted clean and cinnamony and not at all like Folgers. She knew it was wrong and
that she’d have a lot of thinking to do in the morning. But up here, on the roof, so close to the winter stars, it felt so
right.

In film-speak, this is called a central conflict.

missed connections

From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Time: Friday, December 31, 11:58 p.m.

Subject: Re: Here!

… with 2 mins to go before New Year’s! A million sorries and a thousand ridiculous reasons why I’m late but I’ll make it up
to you, I promise! Just let me know where you are because this party needs fun and you and I are the only ones who can supply
it. Xoxoxoxoxoxox Serena

From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Time: Saturday, January 1, 12:18 a.m.

Subject: Re: re: Here!

Left party early and found another place to stay. Will call you tomorrow. Happy New Year.

Xo,

Blair

the honest truth and other rewards

All of the lights in Nate’s Eighty-second Street town house were off. Nate didn’t bother to turn them on as he led Blair up
the stairs to his room. They hadn’t talked at all in the cab uptown. Talking—even if only the cabdriver could hear them—felt
unnecessary. Besides, it was impossible for either of them to know where to begin. Instead, they’d both stared out at the
city as it passed, their hands intertwined.

Blair followed Nate up the familiar creaky stairs toward the three rooms that made up his private third-floor space. Nate
paused in the doorway.

“Blair,” he said urgently. He planted his lips on hers. She tasted familiar, like peppermint gum and vanilla lip gloss. He’d
never, ever leave Blair again. He was so thankful she’d given him another chance. He wouldn’t fuck it up this time.

We’ve heard that one before.

Blair pulled away, her hands resting lightly on Nate’s strong back. The moon cast a wide shaft of light on his Italian cotton
duvet and part of her was eager to lie down and have Nate ravish her. But part of her—the grown-up part—needed to know that
what had happened four months ago wouldn’t happen again; that Nate really was hers forever. She sat on the bed, knitting her perfectly manicured fingers together in her lap.

“You really hurt me this summer,” she said quietly.

It was funny. In the past, when Blair was pissed, she’d scream or throw a Manolo. Her hesitant manner was almost worse. “I
know I did. I feel so guilty about that.” Nate hoped his words conveyed how sorry he was. He’d never meant to hurt her. She
needed to know that. “I just had to figure out some stuff. But I know what I want, now. You,” he said huskily. He couldn’t
believe the words he was saying. They seemed so cheesy, like lines from one of those black-and-white movies Blair used to
force him to watch.

A single tear fell on the hem of Blair’s dress. Normally, she never let anyone see her cry. “You left me. You left me, Nate,” she whimpered, finally letting go of all the anger and frustrations and dashed hopes she’d carried with her for
the past four months.

Nate felt his heart breaking in two as proud tears rolled down Blair’s beautiful cheeks. He wanted to kiss her again and again
until everything was better. Instead, he sat beside her and placed his hand tentatively over hers.

“I’ll never leave you again. Blair. I love you.” Nate’s stomach knotted, willing her to echo his feelings.

“I love you too,” Blair said finally, another tear trickling down her cheek. She wasn’t sure why she was still crying. She
was just so relieved and happy and homesick and excited, all at once. Nate gently wiped the tear away with his index finger.

Blair leaned in and kissed him, hard. “I love you,” she said again.

Together, they lay down so they were facing each other. The strap of Blair’s dress was falling down her shoulder. He reached
out and eased it down, so Blair’s skin was exposed. They didn’t need to talk anymore. All they needed was each other.

Just then, a loud buzz emanated from Blair’s Chloé clutch where it had been hastily tossed on the wood floor.

“Let’s ignore that,” Blair said, reaching toward the waistband of Nate’s khakis. She wasn’t mad at him anymore. What he’d
done last summer didn’t even matter anymore. All that mattered was this—them, together.

breakfast of champions

Please answer the phone, Serena whispered as she dialed Blair’s number on New Year’s morning. It was 10 a.m. and she’d been up since seven, feeling
guilty about abandoning Blair last night. She wasn’t sure how to interpret Blair’s e-mail. It wasn’t bitchy, exactly.

Not exactly.

But what could she have done? It wasn’t like she could leave Thaddeus alone with his homophobic ditz of a date. She’d only
been able to leave after Carilee passed out on Thaddeus’s bed after one too many amaretto sours. It had proved impossible
to get a cab, so she’d gone back up to the party and begged Ira to let her use his town car. Finally, she’d gotten to Chuck’s
party. It was crawling with L’École and Seaton Arms underclassmen she’d never met before, all eager to hang out with her.
But no sign of Blair.

Knowing Blair, she’d probably gotten a suite and was watching an Audrey Hepburn marathon and hating her life—and maybe even
Serena. She felt guiltier each time she thought about it.

Hi, you’ve reached Blair Waldorf…. Serena threw the phone on her bed in frustration.

Just then, the intercom buzzer to the apartment rang. Serena sprang up and buzzed Blair in.

She raced back to her bedroom, plucked a pair of black Stella McCartney for Adidas yoga pants off the floor, and yanked them
over her Cosabella boy shorts, padding to the door on her size nine bare feet.

“Hey Booger Braids!” Serena called the kindergarten-age endearment down the hall, not caring what her neighbors might think
about her inappropriate greeting. “Sorry I missed you last night.”

Blair rounded the corner of the elevator bank into the hallway. But she wasn’t alone.

“Look who I found!” Blair announced, feeling a slight thrill of pleasure at the look of shocked surprise on Serena’s face.

“Natie?” Serena said weakly, letting her arms fall slack against her body as she leaned against the doorframe for support.
How was Nate here? How were he and Blair here, together? Blair’s hair was damp and tousled around her small, pretty face. Nate’s expression was dazed and happy,
like he was in a dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

Suddenly, everything came horribly together. Blair and Nate were here with each other because they’d been with each other. Blair had spent the night at Nate’s. No wonder she was in such a good mood.

Serena sighed, trying to will her bad feelings away. This fall she’d tagged along to a yoga class with Alysia, where the instructor
told them to think of their minds as an endless blue sky, and any negative thoughts as little rain clouds that would eventually
go away. She would not let her rain clouds ruin her reunion with her two best friends. “Blair, I am so sorry about last night!”

“Oh, it doesn’t matter.” Blair shrugged, as if she hadn’t been cursing out Serena for the entire night prior to meeting Nate.

Nate licked his lips nervously as he glanced between Serena and Blair. Serena had that sexy, just-rolled-out-of-bed look.
Blair wore jeans and an old navy blue Ralph Lauren sweater of his. He loved the way his sweater hung off Blair’s frame, reminding
him of how small she was compared to him. They were both beautiful. But Blair was his girl.

For now, at least.

“It’s great to see you, Serena,” Nate said awkwardly, offering his adorable, lopsided smile. Serena felt her stomach twist
in jealousy. Let it go. She imagined her angry storm cloud thoughts disappearing to reveal a blue sky.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving. Let’s go out!” she announced brightly, sounding like an overcaffeinated camp counselor.

Or a jealous best friend?

The cab pulled up to Serendipity on Sixtieth and Third, which was equally famous for its retro-kitschy Tiffany glass lampshade
decor as it was for its high-calorie desserts. Once they were seated, Serena glanced down at the cracked hexagonal floor tiles
so she wouldn’t have to watch Blair and Nate gazing adoringly at each other. She didn’t get it. Didn’t Blair have a boyfriend?
And wasn’t Nate supposed to be off sailing the world still?

“So, Nate, where the hell have you been?” she asked. She poked the ice cubes in her water glass down with her straw as if
she were trying to drown them.

“All over.” Nate shrugged uncomfortably. He’d been everywhere, from sailing around Latin America to exploring the Pacific
Northwest, but he didn’t know where to start. Besides, no matter where he was, he’d been thinking about both of them. But
he couldn’t say that to Serena in front of Blair. Serena’s navy blue eyes gleamed, and she looked like she wanted him to talk
for hours. But he didn’t know what else to say. “We sailed without a navigation system. It was really cool,” he added vaguely.

The waiter, a chipper man who had way too much energy for New Year’s Day morning, approached the table. “Happy New Year!”
he practically shouted, causing droplets of spit to rain on the table. “Now, where are you folks from?”

“I’ll have the eggs Benedict and coffee and he’ll have scrambled eggs and bacon that’s just a little crispy,” Blair said,
ignoring the waiter’s inane question. How embarrassing to be taken as tourists. Then again, this was a tourist trap. Sure, they used to come here all the time when they were little and split a frozen hot chocolate while their
nannies gossiped over coffee. But that was years ago. Didn’t Serena realize they weren’t kids anymore?

Serena smiled tightly. “I’ll have coffee. And toast,” she said, brushing away the menu. She didn’t have much of an appetite.

“You’re not eating? That’s no fun!” Blair wrinkled her nose. “She’ll have chocolate chip pancakes. With extra whipped cream,”
she announced.

“Sure thing, captain!” The waiter dorkily saluted her. Blair rolled her eyes.

“So are you back for good?” Serena asked, turning to Nate. He looked gaunt and more careworn than she remembered. She wanted
to call the waiter back and order extra pancakes and sausages and eggs for Nate, then feed them to him until he regained his
strength.

Nate shrugged. “Maybe I’ll borrow the Charlotte and do some sailing,” he said. The boat was docked in Newport, Rhode Island, for the winter. He hadn’t really thought about
what he was going to do with the rest of his life. Chips was still in Florida, and Nate doubted he was going to set sail again
anytime soon. And now that he knew Blair didn’t hate him, he didn’t really want to go anywhere. “I could train for the America’s
Cup,” he added. That would be pretty cool. He could sail up and down the East Coast during the week, see Blair on the weekends,
and maybe catch up with Serena for coffee on Monday mornings. It would be perfect.

Blair’s eyes lit up as if she’d just had the best idea in the world. It was a look Serena recognized all too well.