I Will Fear No Evil (10 page)

Salomon didn’t move. “I believe you.”

“Move that chair around so that I can see you better. They’ve even got my head clamped—now I ask you, is that necessary?”

“No opinion. Ask your doctor.” Salomon stayed where he was.

“I asked
you . . .
because I’m fed up with his top-sergeant behavior.”

“And I declined to express an opinion in a field in which I have no competence. Johann, you’re getting well, that’s evident. But only a fool replaces a quarterback who is winning.
I
never thought you would live through the operation. I don’t think you did, either.”

“Well . . . truthfully, I didn’t. I was betting my life—literally—on a long gamble. But I won.”

“Then why don’t you try being grateful?
-instead of behaving like a spoiled child!”

“Temper, Jake, temper—why, you sound like
me
.”

“God knows I don’t want to sound like
you
. But I mean it. Show gratitude. Praise the Lord—and Dr. Hedrick.”

“And Dr. Boyle, Jake. Yes, I
am
grateful, truly I am. I’ve been snatched back from the edge of death—and now have every reason to expect a wonderful new life—and all I risked was a few more weeks of a life that had grown intolerable.” Johann smiled. “I can’t express how grateful I am, there are no words. My eyes are twenty/twenty again and I’m seeing shades of color I had forgotten existed. I can hear high notes I haven’t heard in years. I get ’em to play symphonies for me and I can follow the piccolo clear up to the roof. And the violins. I can hear all sorts of high sounds now, higher than ever—even my new voice sounds high; he must have been a tenor. And I can
smell
, Jake—and I lost my last trace of a sense of smell years ago. Nurse, walk past me and let me smell you.”

The nurse, a pretty redhead, smiled, said nothing, did not move from the bed’s console.

Johann went on, “I’m even allowed to eat now, once a day—eat and swallow, I mean, not a blasted tube. Jake, did you know that Cream o’ Wheat tastes better than filet mignon? It can. Hell,
everything
tastes good now; I had forgotten what fun it is to eat. Jake, it’s so grand to be alive—in this body—that I can’t wait to go out in the country and walk in fields and climb a hill and look at trees and watch birds. And clouds. Sunbathe. Ice-skate, maybe. Square-dance. Ever square-dance, Jake?”

“I used to be good at it. No time for it, late years.”

“I never had time for it even when I was young. I’m going to
take
time, now. Reminds me, who’s minding the store?”

“Teal, of course. He wants to see you.”

“You see him, I’m too busy learning to use my new body. And enjoying it. Do I have any money left? Not that I give a hoot.”

“You want the ungarnished truth?”

“You can’t scare me, Jake. If I have to sell this house to pay off this gang of jailers, it won’t worry me. Might be fun. I can tell you this: I’ll never be on Welfare. I’ll get by—always have, always will.”

“Brace yourself. You’re worth more than ever.”

“Huh? Oh, what a shame! When I was just beginning to enjoy being broke.”

“Hypocrite.”

“Not at all, Jake. I—”

“Hypocrite, I said. Oh, hush up. Your fortune had already reached the takeoff point, where it can’t possibly be spent no matter how you try; it just keeps growing. I didn’t even spend all your income on this operation and all that went with it. However, you no longer control Smith Enterprises.”

“So?”

“Yes. I encouraged Teal to borrow money and buy some of your voting shares; it gave him incentive in ‘minding the store.’ And it looked better. Also, as de-facto chairman of the board, I thought it would look better if I owned a bigger block, too, so I traded you some blue chips and taxexempts for some of your senior-corporation voting stock. At present two of us—you and I, or you and Teal—hold voting control. But no one of us. However, I’ll trade back any time you want to resume control.”

“God forbid!”

“We’ll leave the matter open, Johann. I was not trying to take advantage of your illness.”

“No, Jake. If I don’t have controlling interest, I don’t have even a moral responsibility to look out for the company. I’ll resign as chairman of the board—and you can be chairman, or Teal, or you can put it up for grabs.”

“Wait till you’re well.”

“Okay but I shan’t change my mind. But now about that other matter—Uh, Nurse, don’t you have to go empty something, or wash your hands, or check the roof to see if it’s on tight? I want private conversation with my lawyer.”

She smiled and shook her head. “No, sir. You know I can’t leave the room even a moment without being relieved. But I’m authorized by Dr. Hedrick to do this, sir: I can shut off the voice monitor to the remotes, then go over in that far comer and watch video with the sound turned up high so that you’ll be certain I can’t hear you. Dr. Hedrick said you might want privacy in speaking with Mr. Salomon.”

“Well! The old bug—bug-hunter is human after all. You do that, Nurse.”

Shortly, Johann was able to say quietly, “You saw that, Jake? God knows there could be no harm in you alone watching me a few minutes—you could call for help if I choked or something. Anyhow, any trouble would show on their dials. But, no they chaperon me every second and won’t agree to the most harmless request. Look, very quietly now—do you have a pocket mirror on you?”

“Eh? Never carried one in my life.”

“A pity. Well, have one on you next time you’re in to see me. Tomorrow, I hope. Jake, Hedrick is a good doctor, conceded—but he won’t tell me
anything
. Just this week I asked him whose body this had been—and he wasn’t even polite enough to lie; he just told me that it was none of my business.”

“It isn’t.”

“Huh?”

“Remember the contract I worked out? It said—”

“Never read it. Your pidgin.”

“I told you; you didn’t listen. Donor’s privacy to be respected unless donor specifically grants permission to breach it . . . and even then his estate must confirm after death. In this case neither proviso was met. So you can never be told.”

“Oh, rats. I can find out, once I’m up and and around. I would never publicize it; I just want to know.”

“No doubt you will find out. But
I
won’t be a party to breaching a contract with the dead.”

“Hmm. Jake, you’re a stiff-necked old bastard; it wouldn’t do any harm. All right, all right. But get me that mirror. Look, you can get me one now. Go into my bathroom, usual excuse, and look around. Search. Four or five small mirrors in there, drawers and such—or were the last time I was on my feet. Almost certainly still are. Just don’t let a nurse see it. In your pocket. Or under your jacket.”

“Why don’t you simply ask for one?”

“Because they won’t let me have one, Jake. You may think I’m paranoid but I
am
being persecuted by this high-and-mighty doctor. Won’t let me see my new face in a mirror. Okay, it’s probably scarred; I don’t care. Won’t let me look at myself
at all.
When they work on me they put up a chin screen; I haven’t even seen my hands. Would you believe it, I don’t even know what
color
I am. Am I a soul? Or a honk? Or something else? It’s maddening.”

“Johann, it might be literally maddening for you to see yourself. Before you have your strength back.”

“What? Oh, be your age, Jake; you know me better than that. If I’m the ugliest thing since wart hogs and covered with purple stripes, I can take it.” Johann grinned. “I was ugly as sin before the operation; any change for the worse can’t be great. But I tell you no lie, old friend; if they keep treating me like a retarded child, they really
will
drive me off the rails.”

Salomon sighed. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Johann, but it is no news to me that they won’t let you see yourself in a mirror—”

“What?”

“Steady down. I’ve discussed it with Dr. Hedrick and with the psychiatrist working with him. They are of the opinion that you could suffer a severe emotional shock—one that might give you a grave setback, even (as you say) ‘drive you off the rails’—if you see your new self before you are fully well and strong.”

Johann Smith did not answer at once. Then he said quietly, “Pig whistle. I
know
I’m physically something else now. What harm do they think it could do me?”

“The psychiatrist mentioned the possibility of a split personality.”

“Move around and look me in the eyes. Jake Salomon, do you believe that?”

“My opinion is neither relevant nor competent. I am
not
going to buck your physicians. Nor help you to outwit them.”

“So that’s how the wind sets. Jake . . . I am sorry to be forced to say this—but you are not the only lawyer in this city.”

“So I know. I am sorry—truly sorry!—to be forced to say
this
, Johann—but I am the only lawyer you can turn to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Johann, you are now a ward of the Court. I am your guardian.”

Johann Smith was slow to answer, then barely whispered: “Conspiracy. I never thought it of you, Jake.”

“Johann, Johann!”

“Do you mean to keep me locked up forever? If not, what’s the price to turn me loose? Is the Judge in on it? And Hedrick?”

Salomon controlled himself. “Please, Johann, let me speak. I’m going to pretend that you never said what you did say . . . and I’ll have a transcript of the proceedings brought here for you to see. Hell, I’ll have the Judge himself fetch them. But you’ve got to listen.”

“I’m listening. How can I help listening?—I’m a prisoner.”

“Johann, you will cease being a ward as soon as you are able to appear in court—in person—and convince the Judge—Judge McCampbell, it is, an honest man as you know—convince McCampbell that you are no longer
non compos mentis
. He took the step reluctantly—and I had to fight to be named your guardian, as I was not the petitioner.”

“So? And who asked to have me committed?”

“Johanna Darlington Seward,
et aliae
—meaning your other three granddaughters, too.”

“I see,” Johann said slowly. “Jake, I owe you an apology.”

Salomon snorted. “For what? How can you do or say anything calling for an apology when you are legally
non compos mentis?”

“Whew! Hand me the traditional piece of snuff; that was razor sharp. Dear little Johanna—I should have drowned her at birth. Her mother, my daughter Evelyn, used to shove her into my lap and remind me that she was my namesake. Jake, the only thing that brat ever did for me was to pee on my trousers—on purpose. So June and Marla and Elinor are in it, too. Not surprising.”

“Johann, they darn near made it. I had to resort to everything short of treason to get it into Judge McCampbell’s court. Even then, only the fact that I have held your general power of attorney for an unbroken fifteen years kept the Court from naming Mrs. Seward as guardian and conservator. That and one other thing.”

“What other thing?”

“Their stupidity. If they had shot for guardianship right off, they might have made it. Instead their first move was to try to have you declared legally dead.”

“Well! Jake, do you suppose—later—that I can cut them out of my will entirely?”

“You can do better than that; you can outlive them. Now.”

“Mmm, yes, I suppose I can. I will! It’ll be a pleasure.”

“That move wasn’t serious, just stupid. Stupid lawyer. Took four days for the expert witnesses to unwind, took the Court four minutes to rule in accordance with ‘Estate of Parsons v. Rhode Island.’ Hoped I had seen the last of them then; that diploma-mill shyster seemed pretty cowed. Then Parkinson got into it . . . and
his
lawyer is
not
stupid.”

“ ‘Parkinson’? Our boy Parky, our idiot ex-director?”

“The same.”

“Hmm. Von Ritter was right; it doesn’t pay to humiliate a man. But how could Parky show an interest?”

“He didn’t. That Parkinson put them up to it is simply a conclusion but a firm one—Parkinson’s mother-in-law’s lawyer and Parkinson himself present every day in court, a happy spectator. Johann, I didn’t dare ask that the matter be continued during your recovery; our own expert witnesses were unwilling to testify that you would ever be yourself again, able to manage your own affairs. So we stipulated your temporary lack of competence—surprised ‘em, caught ’em unprepared—and I had our attorney move that I be appointed your guardian pro tem. Made it. But Johann, as soon as this was in the wind I started shuffling stock around. For several weeks Teal held a big chunk of your voting stock—Teal is okay; you made a good choice—Teal held all of your stock that I now hold, using money I lent him. An open transaction that could be verified, none of this ‘ten dollars and other valuable considerations’ dodge. During that period, your stock that I had sold to Teal using my money, plus Teal’s stock that he already had, plus what I have long held, was voting control . . . because I knew that if I lost, the next day Parkinson would show up with proxies for your stock—signed by your granddaughters—and demand a stockholders’ meeting and kick me out of the chair and fire Teal as president. Yet I didn’t dare buy stock from you myself—or I would go into court as an interested party and the other side might sniff it. It was touch-and-go for a while, Johann.”

“Well, I’m glad we’re out of the woods. Parky.”

“We aren’t. Other actions coming up, none of which you need worry about today.”

“Jake, I’m not going to worry about
anything
. I’m going to think about birds and bees and fleecy clouds and enjoy the wonderful taste of Cream o’ Wheat. And prunes, strained prunes fixed baby-style. I’m just glad to know that my oldest friend didn’t knife me while I was unconscious and sorry as hell I thought so even for a moment. Oh, I still think you’re a timid, gutless, stinking sissy not to help me out on this mirror nonsense but we’ll argue that another day. I can wait if I have to; I see why you don’t want to buck a psychiatrist if I have to go into court when I’m up and convince Judge McCampbell that I can still hit the floor with my hat.”