Authors: Sheila Horgan
“Hey, if it works for you, then it works.
Not my life.
Not my apartment.
I don’t expect you to live the way I live.
One of the main reasons we could never make it as roommates.
It was hard enough when we lived with Mom and she could referee, but in my house I like every little microorganism to fear for its life.”
“Please give my condolences to AJ.
Now that I’ll be back at the office, and probably working late to put things back together again, I won’t be around, which means he’ll have to figure out some way to entertain you.”
“I’m confident he can figure something out.”
“Oh, I’m sure he can.
By the way, you need to call Mom, which is kind of the reason I came over here in the first place.”
“What did you do?”
“I may have alarmed her a little.
I was on the phone talking to her, when your call from the cemetery came in.
You know we never click over when talking to Mom, but I did, so it’s your fault that I might have inadvertently said something when I clicked back over.”
“What did you say?
Did you tell her about Joe-the-cop?”
“I didn’t say anything that specific.”
“What did you say?”
“I think I said something like, ‘That girl is going to get herself killed’.”
“Great.”
“Mom didn’t take it literally, she just thinks that it’s time for you to take this whole thing a little more seriously and either work it out, or walk away.”
“That’s my plan.”
“How are you going to do it?”
“I have no clue.”
“Doesn’t sound much like a plan.”
“Thanks for pointing that out.
I need to stop trying to act like you, getting all organized, and act like me, get in tune with my inner Yoda and let the powers of the universe speak to me, or however that works.”
“Cara, as long as it works, it doesn’t matter how you get there, just that you get there.”
“I’m going to come up with a strategy today, I’m going to implement it this week.
I’m going to make a decision based on the outcome of my implementation over the weekend, and Monday, I either start working on my new career full bore, or I start looking for a job full time.”
“That’s what you need to tell Mom.”
“I’ll stop by for a quick cup of tea.”
“See, you have a plan already.”
“Teagan, shut up.”
“I’m out of here.
I’m glad you’re okay.
Joe-the-cop is starting to scare me, you need to find a way to confront him safely, or get rid of him.”
“I agree.”
“Call me if you need me.”
“I will.”
THREE
“Hi Joe, it’s me, Cara O’Flynn.”
“Hi, Cara, what can I do for you?”
“Well, actually, I was calling you because the other day you called and wanted to drop by.
I thought if you had some free time, this afternoon would be best for me.
Are you available?”
“Sure, I can be there in fifteen minutes.”
“Actually, I’m at my parents for a cup of tea, can you meet me here?”
“How about you call me on your way home, and I’ll meet you there?”
“Actually, I have a pretty full afternoon.
The reason I called now is because now is when I have some time.
If you can’t make it, I understand, I’ll try again in a week or so.”
“No, your parent’s house is fine.
I’ll head that direction now.”
“That’s great.
At least this time it’ll only be one police car for the neighbors to talk about.”
“I’m sorry about that whole misunderstanding, Cara.
It was never my intent to scare you.
Besides, I’m in my personal car today.
It’s my late shift.
Don’t have to be at work till after dark.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.
I didn’t realize.
Do you want to make it another time?
I don’t want to impose on your free time.
I’m sure you have more important things to do.
How about we try to schedule for next week some time?”
“No problem.
I’m on my way.
Maybe we can go for a walk or something, I know your mom’s house usually has about 40 people in it.”
For some reason known only to God, I never felt comfortable with Joe, unless I felt like someone was watching.
“That’s true.
Truth be told, my mom’s neighbors are probably nosier than my family.
They’re mostly the same people that were there when we were growing up, and they all still feel the need to watch out for the kids.
They are like a neighborhood watch program on steroids.
Nobody gets on the street without someone taking notice and usually taking notes.”
“Well, I’ve been out running errands most of the day.
I’m not far from your parent’s house now.
I’ll swing by in a few.”
“I’ll be here.”
My mom had been listening to the conversation. “Cara, Love, what was that all about?”
“Oh, Joe wanted to meet with me, and I figured, since I’d have to repeat the whole conversation anyway, I might as well just have it here.”
“Don’t be fresh with me young lady, I’m pleased you decided to meet the young man here, I think it is better for all concerned.
Shall I fix a pot of tea?
Should I call your brother and see if he would care to join us?”
“I’m sure that we’ll be fine Mom.”
“Well, with all the talk of the neighbors, making them sound as if they’d be ready at the door, pitch fork in hand, I thought it might be that you are a bit worried.”
“No, not worried, really, just cautious.”
“Well, Love, cautious is always a good plan.
I’ll put out some refreshments and await the arrival of your current puzzle.”
“Thanks Mom.”
It only took about twenty minutes for Joe-the-cop to show up at my parent’s house.
He rang the doorbell, and shuffled around on the porch until my mom opened the door to him.
No doubt he was a little uncomfortable with all the eyes of the neighborhood on him, perceived or real.
No way you can almost run over one of the founding members of the block, and not draw the ire of all the neighbors.
Most of them served popsicles to me in my youth, paid me to baby-sit in my teen years, and cheer for me even now.
“Officer, please, come in.”
“Thank you Mrs. O’Flynn.
Please, call me Joe.”
“Thank you, Joe.
Cara is in the family room.
Please, follow me.”
I admit, I waited in the family room, and forced my mother to answer the door, so that Joe couldn’t go all psycho and pull me out of the front door and serial murder-ize me, right there, on my mother’s porch, before anyone could do anything to save me, and then I’d be splayed out, with my legs all akimbo, and tragic, forever in my mother’s memory, looking like a rag doll.
I further admit, that every once in a while, I am a bit dramatic.
Joe trudged in after my mother.
I know he is a big bad cop and probably not a serial killer, but evidently my mother gave him a look because at the moment, he more closely resembled a twelve-year-old boy who had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, by his best friend’s mother, which is worse than being caught by your own mom.
“Cara.”
“Joe.”
“We need to talk.
Privately.
Is there somewhere we can go?”
“Joe I don’t mean to be difficult but after the stunt you pulled, right out in front of this very house, I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you without Teagan’s help.
And, I wasn’t going to ask this, but now I am.
Were you out at the cemetery off Bumble?”
“When?”
“Today.
About three hours ago.”
“No.”
“I could have sworn I saw your car out there.”
“I didn’t have my car three hours ago.”
“What?”
“My sister had my car this afternoon.
I borrowed her truck so that I could move something.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she was out there.
She lost her fiancé not long ago and she goes out there pretty regularly.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Me too.
Can we talk?”
“We can go out front, but I’m not going anywhere with you, and I swear on all that’s Holy, if I yell, the whole block will come running, and there is no way in Hell that you will convince anyone ever again that your intent was innocent.”
“I got it.”
“Mom, we’re going out in front.
If you hear me scream, shoot to kill.”
“I’ll do that, Love.
I’ve yet to miss a target.”
Joe’s eyes got huge, after all, Florida is a ‘right to carry’ state, and anyone can carry a concealed weapon after a bit of training, “She’s kidding, right?”
My mother’s face was inscrutable, “As God is my witness, I have never missed anything I have put in my sights, Child.
I have been told some have a gift.
And Joe, it would do you well to remember that
she
is the cat’s mother.”
You would have to know my mother to know that not only has she never hit the target, she has never held a gun.
Not only has she never held a gun, but if you brought a gun into her house, she’d probably use it on you.
With my family, you have to listen carefully and not make a single assumption.
Mom said that she’d never missed anything she shot at.
She hadn’t missed, ‘cause she hadn’t shot.
Wonder about the whole sin of omission thing with that statement, always a concern in the home of an Irish Catholic.
I was thinking about that as we walked out the door.
We got half way down the driveway before Joe simply couldn’t hold it back any more.
“She is the cat’s mother?
What the hell does that mean?”
“As long as I can remember, whenever anyone referred to my mother as ‘
she
’, my mom would come back with ‘I am not
she
,
she
is the cat’s mother’.
I’m not sure exactly what it means, but my guess is that using the word ‘she’ indicates a lack of respect and it is not acceptable.
My mother is anything but generic.”
“I’ve yet to meet anyone in your family, or associated with your family, that is the least bit generic.”
“Okay Joe, so why are we out here?
What is so important that you need to talk to me, but not in front of my mother, a person that has more integrity than you can aspire to?”
“It isn’t that I don’t trust your mother, it’s that I choose not to include your mother.
What I’m going to tell you is confidential.
The fewer people that know it, the fewer people will be in a very small group when it is done.”
“I have no idea what that means, but I’m not in the mood to play twenty questions, and I’m not the super hero type, and I, the person who has more patience than Job, has lost her patience, so either tell me what you’re going to tell me, or I’m going back in the house.”
“Cara, I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
“No shit Sherlock.
I’m not a rocket scientist, but even I figured that much out.”
“I need you to trust me.”
“Great approach.
Tell me you’re a liar, then, tell me to trust you.
You aren’t really good at this stuff are you?”
“I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.”
“You’re talking to a multi-generational Irish Catholic, don’t make me explain the whole sin of omission thing.”
“Cara, I’m not going to argue, and I’m not going to play games.
I had a very good reason not to tell you everything.
You need to shut-up and listen, because you could be in danger, and you could be putting everyone you care about in danger too, especially that sister of yours, Teagan.”
“You have my attention.”
“It’s a long story.
Can we go somewhere a little less conspicuous than standing in the middle of your driveway?”