Ty’s Quite Recent Invitation
He Starts to Turn South
Chapter 24: Kaeleigh
I Thought Last Block
Our Fingers Interlock
We Have to Unlock
Ian, Afraid?
Ian Walks Past Her
This Afternoon
Daddy Isn’t Home
Desire Strikes Like a Cobra
And I Think
Speaking of Snakes
I Walk Ian to His Bike
My Normal MO
Notice I Didn’t Say Gone
Chapter 25: Raeanne
The Library
Glad I Wore Jeans Today
Questions? Yeah, I’ve Got Them
I Don’t Actually Ask
Lawler Doesn’t Jerk Away
Next Time!
I Watch Him Go
Coffee Actually Sounds
I Know Daddy Has Issued
I’m an Expert Interpreter
Right Now His Eyes
Chapter 26: Kaeleigh
Today Was Incredible
My Parents Aren’t Real
Of Course, Maybe Daddy
Whatever Daddy Did
Double the Pleasure
Double the Fun
I Start to Feel
What Does Make Him Drink?
I Regret Everything Immediately
I So Do Not Deserve Him
Time For a Chopin Pee
Not Mental Pain
New Blade
I’ve Heard Exsanguination
Chapter 27: Raeanne
OM–Effing–G
Speaking of Souls, Monsters, Etc.
Daddy and Hannah
Being
Sex, Sex, Sex
First, I Have to Get Through the Day
I Decide to Act Ignorant
He Has No Idea
School Totally Drags
Lawler Definitely Notices
Yes, Yes, and…?
He Gives Me Directions
The Rest of the Day
Chapter 28: Kaeleigh
The Bus Seems Slower
But Daddy’s Attention
I Slip Off My Shoes
I’m Kind of Liking
I’d Probably Just
Why Am I Always So Polite?
His Words
My Hand Is Turning
Not Grandma Betty
A Shadow Falls
I Don’t Want to Hang Up
I’m Running Really Late
I Thank Hannah for the Ride
Satisfaction
Chapter 29: Raeanne
Lawler’s House
He’s Gone for Over an Hour
The Doorbell Interrupts
Seamless
But Now I Have to Go
I Know He Has More to Say
Lawler Pulls Over
A Man with Morals
Anyway, Lawler Seems
Happy Ever After
Chapter 30: Kaeleigh
Sunday Morning
Either Way
I Was Supposed
Oh Yeah, Blast from the Past
I Lay Awake
Not a Good Time
I Want to Talk to Ian
And Still No One’s Awake
Schizophrenic Me
Greta’s Tale
Love, Resurrected
And Now I See His Face
Like a Puppy
Chapter 31: Raeanne
Home Bitter Home
Topping Today’s Rant List
This Is a Rare Opportunity
Surreal
Meanwhile, Think I’ll Dive
Daddy Takes a Gulp
That Was the Most
The Topic of Conversation
She Knows More, of Course
A Lot of Wine Later
I Stumble Off to Bed
Mom Had Been Spending
No Doubt About It
Chapter 32: Kaeleigh
I Can Hardly Wait
I Am on My Third Bowl of Cereal
He Hasn’t Asked
We Are Still Very Close
I Exit the Kitchen
All Hope Dissolved
Fine by Me
Safe in the Far Stall
I’m Watching Blood Drip
With Everyone, That Is
So, So Mine or Not
Ian Kills the Motor
Almost Home
The House Is Crazy
Spit Pools
Chapter 33: Raeanne
Holy Effing Moly
The Afternoon’s Drama
He Picked Up
Out the Window
A Half Hour Later
I Could Just Do It
The Greed Factor, Again
The Avalanche Lurches Forward
How Would That Look on Headline News?
The Road into Town
An Hour’s Walk Home
I Wake to a Hailstorm
Light Through the Window
No One Has a Clue
Chapter 34: Kaeleigh
The Dreaded Day
Most of Me
School Is My Refuge
I Couldn’t Care Less
Bling for a Day
The Afternoon Ticks By
I Angle Closer
She’s In Over Her Head
Daddy Returns
Just Then Someone Turns Up
Chapter 35: Raeanne
By Midnight
Kaeleigh Has Withdrawn
I Finally Limp
The Telephone Wakes Me
Daddy Grabs the Phone
Unable to Guess
The Bad Thing About Fear
The Bad Thing About Puking Regularly
Totally Puked Out
I Dial His Number
But If Ty Wants Me
Chapter 36: Kaeleigh
Three Days
School Was Crazy
One Thing Kind of Weird, Though
At Last the Bus Goes By
I Try to Keep That in Mind
I Close My Door
Soundless as a Shadow
Back and Forth
I Want to Shout
He Says Not a Word
Both Parts
Enveloped by November Fog
The First Face I See
Her Voice Softens
Oh, How I Want To
Chapter 37: Raeanne
IMH (not) O
I’m Not Even Sure
Afraid to Die Loveless
Before the Other Night
Being Easier
Any Drugs
The Biggest Surprise
But It Isn’t Mick
Highway 154
Longing Lunges
Yes, Every Kiss Is Different
Ian Moans
Ian’s Sense
Chapter 38: Kaeleigh
Falling
Tick-Tock
A Voice
Another Voice
I Fall Again
I Let Out All My Breath
Damn Footsteps
Oops, Too Late
They Move into the Hallway
Following Through
Chapter 39: Raeanne
I Can’t Believe
Don’t Know
I Think
It’s Morning Before He Comes
Almost a Week
Daddy Acts
The Last Time
He Is a Cold-Hearted Bastard
Operative Word: Easy
Between Brittany’s Driving
We Find the House
The House Is Small
He Winces Slightly
Bam, Sledgehammer
A Half-Assed Honk
Ugly Little Movies
I Should Go Home
Major Dilemma
I’m Living Dangerously
His Place
Ty’s House
And the Doorbell Rings
Mom and Raeanne Away
I Think I’m Dead
Chapter 40: Kaeleigh
I Wish I Were Dead
Fragments Shards
At First
I Tell Her I’ll Think About It
When I Wake Up
Take It All Back
I Stare at the Night Sky
I’m Still Tired
When Carol Comes
That’s All I’m Ready to Give Today
Tomorrow Isn’t Far Enough Away
Mom Promises
I Suppose I Got the Addictive Gene
I’m Deep into Conversation
Wow, Ballsy
Turns Out
What Do I Have to Live For?
I Can’t Blame Ian at All
But I Do Know What Love Is
Someone’s in My Room
Must Be a Dream
Okay, One Thing to Live For
Daddy Comes to Pick Me Up
Six Months
Turned Out
I Forgave Her
Drained Dry
Except for Ian
I Cringe
She Is My Real Angel
Ian Still Doesn’t Know
I’d Like to Say
When I Do Those Things
Chapter 41: Raeanne
And I’ll Be Watching
Reading Group Guide
‘Perfect’ Teaser
PUBLISHER'S NOTE
This ebook is best read at the smallest font setting on your device.
IDENTICAL
Raeanne
Mirror, Mirror
When I look into a
mirror,
it is her face I see.
Her right is my left, double
moles, dimple and all.
My right is her left,
unblemished.
We are exact
opposites,
Kaeleigh and me.
Mirror-image identical
twins. One egg, one sperm,
one zygote, divided,
sharing one complete
set of genetic markers.
On the outside
we are the same. But not
inside. I think
she is the egg, so
much like our mother
it makes me want to scream.
Cold.
Controlled.
That makes me the sperm,
I guess. I take completely
after our father.
All Daddy, that’s me.
Codependent.
Cowardly.
Good, bad. Left, right.
Kaeleigh and Raeanne.
One egg, one sperm.
One being, split in two.
Interesting Question
Don’t you think?
I mean, if the Supreme
Being inserts a single soul
at the moment of conception,
does that essence divide
itself? Does each half then
strive to become whole
again, like a starfish
or an earthworm?
Or might the soul clone itself,
create a perfect imitation
of something yet to be
defined? In this way,
can a reflection be altered?
Or does the Maker,
in fact, choose
to place two
separate souls within
a single cell, to spark
the skirmish that ultimately
causes such an unlikely rift?
Do twins begin in the womb?
Or in a better place?
One Soul or Two
We live in a smug California
valley. Rolling ranch land, surrounded
by shrugs of oak-jeweled hills.
Green for two brilliant
months sometime around spring,
burnt-toast brown the rest of the year.
Just over an unremarkable mountain
stretches the endless Pacific.
Mornings here come wrapped
in droops of gray mist.
Most days it burns off by noon.
Other days it just hangs on
and on. Smothers like a wet blanket.
Three towns triangulate
the valley, three corners, each
with a unique flavor:
weathered Old West;
antiques and wine tasting;
just-off-the-freeway boring.
Smack in the center is the town
where we live, and it is the most
unique of all, with its windmills
and cobbled sidewalks, designed
to carry tourists to Denmark.
Denmark, California-style.
The houses line smooth black
streets, prim rows
of postcard-pretty dwellings,
coiffed and manicured from curb
to chimney. Like Kaeleigh
and me, they’re perfect
on the outside. But behind
the Norman Rockwell facades,
each holds its secrets.