If at Birth You Don't Succeed (40 page)

Z
ACH
A
NNER
is an award-winning comedian, show host, and public speaker. In 2011, he won his own travel show on the Oprah Winfrey Network,
Rollin' with Zach
. He hosted the Web series
Have a Little Faith
for Rainn Wilson's media company SoulPancake, and
Riding Shotgun
and
Workout Wednesday
on his YouTube channel, which has over eleven million hits. Zach lives in Buffalo, New York, and Austin, Texas, and spends most of his spare time in his underwear, thinking about how he can change the world. If you'd like to know more about Zach, consult the book you are currently holding.

Zach would love to hear your thoughts on the book, or at least get an awkward photo of you caressing it, so feel free to tweet him @zachanner. You can sign up for email updates
here
.

    

 

About the Illustrator

K
EVIN
S
CARBOROUGH
is an animation artist who has worked on projects for Fisher-Price, the Syfy channel, the History Channel, and Sesame Workshop's Emmy-nominated TV series
Pinky Dinky Doo
. Originally from Buffalo, New York, Kevin currently lives in New York City.

 

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Contents

Title Page

Copyright Notice

Dedication

Introduction: … Well, Why Don't I Start?

Part I: Oprah to Nope-rah

1.   What's in a N4me?

2.   How to Win a Television Show

3.   Drivers Ed in the Mars Rover

4.   Comics Without Relief

5.   Who Wants to Smell a Billionaire?

6.   How to Lose a Television Show

Part II: Friends in Search of Benefits

7.   Destiny in a Red One-Piece Bathing Suit

8.   I'll Have a Virgin Zachary

9.   Something to Offend Everyone

10. Hope, Salad, and Breadsticks

11. Barking Up the Wrong Tree House

12. With Apologies to Gene Shalit

Part III: The Learning Curve of a Late Bloomer

13. Have a Little Faith

14. The Most Magical Life on Earth

15. Game Changer

16. A Wedding, Two Meat Loaves, and a Lobster Funeral

17. Grandma: The Musical!

18. The Wurst and Best of Berlin

Conclusion: Thirty Candles

 

Notes

Acknowledgments

About the Author

About the Illustrator

Copyright

 

I
F AT
B
IRTH
Y
OU
D
ON'T
S
UCCEED.
Copyright © 2016 by Zachary Dean Anner. All rights reserved. For information, address Henry Holt and Co., 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

 

www.henryholt.com

 

Cover design by Emily Pracher; cover photographs © malerapaso/iStock

 

Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at
[email protected]
.

 

The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

 

Anner, Zach, 1984–

     If at birth you don't succeed: my adventures with disaster and destiny / Zach Anner.

             pages cm

     ISBN 978-1-62779-364-3 (hardback) —

     ISBN 978-1-62779-365-0 (electronic book)

  1.  Anner, Zach, 1984–   2.  Comedians—United States—Biography.   3.  Cerebral palsied—United States—Biography.   I.  Title.

     PN2287.A645A3 2016

     791.4302'8092—dc23

     [B]                                                                 2015023841

      

First Edition: March 2016

 

Illustrations copyright © 2016 by Kevin Scarborough