If Ever I Fall: Book 3 of The Six Series (13 page)

“Whatever she wants to. He’ll be dead. The threat gone. She’s a lucky young lady.” Nadia said the last part softly.

I snorted. “Lucky? She just lost everything. How can you even say that?”

“Because she’s one of his only untouched survivors,” Nadia explained.

“That’s not true. Jared’s okay, and he was kidnapped by him,” I fired back at her.

“Jared never came face to face with Robert de Fleur. Had he, things would have turned out a whole lot different. A whole lot worse.” She paused, moving her gaze to where Airen was curled up against me. “She’ll be okay. She’s a survivor.”

I tucked Airen closer and she came willingly, making me wonder how willing she’d be later when the shock wore off and her anger replaced it.

Pressing my face to her hair, I spoke softly so only she could hear me. “I’m sorry, Airen. So, so sorry.”

She shuddered, nuzzling further into my chest.

GRANT PULLED UP ALONGSIDE THE back of the building, leaving only enough room for us to step out of the car and into the church.

He went to take Airen from me as I tried getting both of us out of the car, but Airen wouldn’t let go.

With his help, I was able to get to my feet and not hand her over.

Father McKinnon opened the back door, stepping back to give us room, but he was close enough that I could see the lines of worry etched along his brow.

“Bring her right down, Aiden,” Nadia called out as she made her way down the stairs.

“Oh, my child,” Father McKinnon said, placing his hand on Airen’s head as he mumbled a prayer.

He made the sign of the cross and fumbled back a step to stand beside Grant as I carried her slowly down the steps.

In the middle of the dimly lit hallway, Airen let out a heartbreaking sob. “They’re gone. Really gone.”

My throat tightened as a tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn’t brush it aside, so I let it fall, not caring if anyone saw it. Not caring what anyone thought about me grieving over a family that wasn’t my own. None of it mattered.

I found Nadia two doors down from where I’d originally set up my room. She stepped out of the way, and I carried Airen over to the bed and lowered her to it. She let me go then and rolled onto her side so she could no longer see me.

Nadia placed her hand on my arm. “Why don’t you go grab a shower and get changed?”

I jerked as if she’d slapped me. “Grab a shower? There’s a fucking maniac on the loose and you want me to go take a shower?”

I knew I sounded like a complete asshole; I just didn’t care.

She grabbed my arm, urging me towards the door. I looked down at her hand, pulled my arm free with one hard tug, pushed past her, and sat down on the edge of Airen’s bed. “I’m not leaving her.”

Nadia crouched down in front of me. “I’m not asking you to leave her, Aiden. I’m telling you that you need to get cleaned up. Have you even seen yourself?”

She moved back, pointing at my hand. “You have blood all over you. You need to shower and change your clothes. Then come back and I’ll bandage that up.”

I looked down at my hand, seeing the dried streaks of blood and the places where it continued to leak from the spots that broke open with each clench of my fist.

My jeans were smeared with it, my shirt too. I turned, noticing Airen’s blood-soaked clothes for the first time, and said, “I’ll be back. You’re safe now.”

She didn’t answer me, but I hadn’t really expected her to.

“I’ll be right back,” I said again, directing it at Nadia.

She pulled out a first aid kit and sorted through it, not looking up at me. “I know you will.”

I left then, making my way back to my room. After I stripped, I stood under the pelting water of the shower, not waiting for the water to warm. I didn’t deserve any sort of comfort. I wouldn’t have been able to feel it anyway.

By the time I showered and changed, Nadia had Airen cleaned up and changed into a white T-shirt that suspiciously looked like one of mine.

Airen slept soundly, and I understood why when I saw the syringe laying on the nightstand. “Was that necessary?” I asked, pointing at the needle.

“It’s not what you think it is. I just gave her a heavy dose of pain meds. She’s gonna need them with the extensive bruising, especially the ones on her ribs,” Nadia answered as she made me sit down on the edge of the bed.

“You’re sure it’s only bruises?” I asked as she smeared antibiotic cream over the smaller cuts on my hand.

“I had our medic come and check her out while you were in the shower. Do you have any idea what happened to her?” she asked, pulling out a small tube of Super Glue and butterfly bandages for the larger cuts.

“I don’t know for sure because I was locked inside the trunk when it happened.”

When she was done tending my hands, she stood up and ran her fingers through my hair, feeling along my head for hidden bumps or gashes. She pulled her hand back immediately and pushed me down to get a better look at the spot where Robert had cracked me in the head.

Hissing, she parted my hair and set to cleaning the tender spot. “What the hell did he drop you with?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “No idea, but it knocked me out for a little while.”

Nadia spoke as she prodded the sore spot on my head. “If I had my guess, I’d say it was a tire iron. I’ll go get our medic; you’re going to need stitches for that.”

“Just sew it up. I know you know how,” I told her as she stepped back to leave.

She chuckled. “Yeah, but I’m not that great at it. You’d have one hell of a scar if I did it.”

“I don’t care if it scars or not. Just stitch it closed,” I told her, keeping my head tilted.

“I don’t have anything to numb it. I’ll be right back.”

I let her go. It wouldn’t matter if it were numbed or not. I couldn’t feel much of anything anyway. I’d let Airen down. Her mother and aunt were dead because I let my attraction for her cloud my mission. And my mission was out running free until either Oliver or Ace took him out.

“You look like shit, bro.”

“Eli? What the hell are you doing here?” Neither Nadia nor Grant had mentioned he came to Scotland with Ace and Oliver.

“Just going where the action is. Ya know?” He chuckled, setting a box down on the nightstand.

I put all the pieces together when he pulled on a pair of latex gloves. “You’re the medic?”

“Nope, but I’m qualified enough to stitch you up, so here I am,” he answered with his back to me. When he turned around, he had a syringe in his hand.

“I don’t need that,” I said, ducking my head so he could stitch it closed.

“Mmmhmm,” he agreed, jabbing the needle into my skin. “But you’re getting it anyway.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the feeling of cold where the numbing liquid spread, or the fact that Eli was there with me, but I fully relaxed.

When I did, I felt every single bump and bruise. The shakes started then, and I couldn’t for the life of me get them to stop.

“Adrenaline crash,” Eli said as he bent over my head.

I didn’t feel the needle, just the slight tug of each stitch. Meanwhile, he chatted away, holding a one-sided conversation as if pulling the questions from my head.

“Grant asked me if I wanted to come work with them. Said he had an important job he thought I’d be good at. I figured why not? At least then, I wouldn’t be cut off from you guys. Believe me, if I’d have walked away after Haiti and seeing what happened with Jared, I’d never get a full night’s rest ever again. Anyway, long story short. You’re stuck with me too. Now we just need to bring in Mark and Josh, and we’ll all be together again.”

I wanted to kick him in the leg, but thought better of it since he still held a needle in his hand.

With a couple of short tugs, he pulled a small pair of scissors from the white jacket he wore, made a quick snip, and stepped back. “Just gonna put a little antibiotic spray on it, and you’re all done.”

“Why, Eli?” I asked, unsure if I meant why did he agree to work for Cole Enterprise, or why he’d want Mark and Josh too.

“That’s a pretty loaded question, but what the hell…” He placed everything back into the kit he’d carried in and closed it before answering.

“Because, asshole. After all the years we’ve been friends, not having y’all around was the most mind numbing thing of my life. We’ve always been around each other. Always. Other than Mom and Dad, all I had was the Six. I didn’t know how hard it would be, leaving all of you and going out on my own. But it sucked and I don’t want to go back to that. Ever.”

I understood how he felt. The first few weeks after I’d left home and lined up alongside a bunch of strangers, I had a wave of homesickness that threatened to pull me under and drown me. When Grant had showed up right after boot camp, I jumped on the opportunity to leave and start a new life, no matter the risks. Especially when Grant had laid it out in black and white. But I couldn’t help wonder if he’d told Eli everything.

“Did Grant tell you…? What did Grant tell you?” I asked.

“I told him the same things I told you, Aiden,” Grant said from the doorway. “How’s she doing?” he asked, looking at Airen.

But I didn’t want to talk about how she was doing. Because the reality was, she’d wake up, relive the moment everything was taken from her, and blame me. Just like I blamed myself. So instead of answering Grant, I shook my head.

“Any word from the field?” Eli asked.

“Nothing. They’ve worked their way through the section where Robert could have fled, but there’s no sign of him. I’ve called them back in for now,” Grant answered.

The normal shadows under Grant’s eyes had spread further down his face. Lower than I’d ever seen them. He was a mess, and it wouldn’t get any better until Robert de Fleur was taken down.

“Aiden, we need to talk,” he said, coming further into the room.

Eli grabbed the box from the nightstand and left.

When the door closed, Grant seemed to sag in on himself, shuffling over to the only chair in the room. He pulled it away from the wall and brought it over to where I sat on the end of the bed.

He lowered himself down, closed his eyes briefly, and blew out a long breath before settling his eyes on me. “What the hell happened this morning, Aiden?”

THE
SOUND OF VOICES BROKE
through my cotton-filled subconscious. They spoke words I understood, but I had no way of connecting to them with the state I was in. Something was very wrong, that I knew, but only by the feel of it deep in my bones.

Ever so slowly, I floated a little closer to the surface and heard more of what was going on around me. The creak of someone shifting in a chair, the dip of the mattress underneath me.

Aiden was close; I could feel him there, which seemed odd. He spoke, confirming I hadn’t lost my mind, and someone else answered. The conversation flowed back and forth, until it pulled me out from whatever I’d been submerged into.

When I rolled over onto my back, both voices halted.

“Airen?”

I opened my eyes, finding Aiden looking at me with a kaleidoscope of expressions. Guilt, frustration, embarrassment. They moved quickly over his face, chasing one another in rapid succession.

I tried sitting up, but a band of fire wrapped around my chest and I collapsed back on the pillows, sucking shallow pants of air to keep from crying out.

“Your ribs are bruised. It’ll take a little while to heal,” Aiden said, reaching out to brush my hair from my face as a cold sweat broke out along my brow.

I blinked the tears from my eyes.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Agent Jackson moved to the foot of the bed as he spoke.

I looked between him and Aiden, trying to understand what was happening, only to realize I had no idea where I was. “Where am I? And why are you here?”

Agent Jackson winced, clearly hearing my confusion.

Instead of answering me, he spoke to Aiden. “Did Nadia say if she had any sort of head trauma?”

Aiden shook his head. “Just bruised ribs.”

Dread pooled low in my stomach as a swift round of anger rumbled through me. “What happened?”

Aiden bent over, elbows on his knees as he spoke at the floor. “Can you give us a few minutes?”

Agent Jackson looked torn. His hand came down on Aiden’s shoulder, squeezed hard, and then he walked out without a word, closing the door behind him.

My hands clutched the blanket. I had an odd feeling that whatever Aiden had to say would turn my entire world upside down.

Aiden didn’t speak right away. I wasn’t sure he could. Watching his throat bob as he swallowed hard made my own tighten in response. It was that choked feeling you get when you were fighting every instinct not to break down.

He took a deep breath, tipped his head back at the ceiling, and then moved from the bed.

Another deep breath expanded his chest, pulling his shirt tight across his shoulders. When he let the breath go, he met my gaze.

His mouth formed a thin line as a deep groove settled in between his eyebrows. “I’m sorry I let things go too far this morning.”

I scowled in response, not understanding what he meant. “Aiden, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He snorted, placing his hand over his mouth and dragging his fingers in to pinch his bottom lip. When his hand dropped, he asked, “How’s your head? Does it hurt?”

My fingers went up to the spot where we’d cracked our heads together. It was a little tender, but that was all. “Ye’ve a hard head, Aiden, but nothing I won’t recover from. What happened to yer hand?” I asked, noticing the white bandages that hadn’t been there earlier.

He made his way over to where a chair had been left beside the bed. When he sat down, he stared at the wall directly in front of him. “I don’t even know where to start with this, Airen. I can’t seem to find the right words that will make this any easier.”

Seeing Aiden the way he was, all banged up and bandaged, and my aching body, were causing connections to form somewhere deep in my subconscious. “We were in an accident, aye?”

He looked at me then. “Yes. Do you remember it?”

“No, but it feels like I’ve been in one, and your hand is bandaged. Did ye forget what side of the road to drive on?” The humor I’d been going for fell flat when he winced.

Chewing my lip, Aiden watched me closely, but he stayed quiet.

“There’s more, isn’t there? What are ye not saying, Aiden?”

Something closed off inside him. I watched his eyes become flat, lifeless, as if every emotion he had was being put on lockdown. When he blinked, there was no hint of the Aiden I knew staring back at me.

“This morning, Robert de Fleur showed up at your aunt’s house,” he said, watching me as if waiting for some sort of reaction.

Why couldn’t I remember that? It seems like it would be something I wouldn’t just forget. Clasping my hands in my lap, I tried picturing what he said, but I couldn’t recall a thing. “I don’t understand. How does Uncle Robert showing up have anything to do with us being in an accident?”

His eyes closed as he briefly hung his head. “Everything. It has everything to do with it.”

When eyes opened, he continued, “He put you in the trunk and drove off. Grant and Nadia intercepted his getaway, but he lost control of the car and it flipped.”

“And you? Where were you? Because ye said
we
were in an accident,” I said.

Aiden looked away from me. “I was in the trunk with you.”

I closed my eyes, desperately searching the blank spaces of my mind to connect what he told me to something I could remember. “In the trunk with me? Aiden, that doesn’t make sense. Can you just… start from the beginning and tell it all the way through?”

Pressing his hands against his knees, he asked me the same thing Agent Jackson had earlier. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

I blew out a frustrated sigh. “Agent Jackson showed up, and Aunt Brenda and Mum talked to him. Aunt Brenda hauled out those damn photo albums and talked about that stupid curse.” I paused as a bout of anger rolled through me, “She claimed Da was one of the curses victims, which he wasn’t. He died of a heart attack. Hearing her say that pissed me off, so I went upstairs. I fell asleep sometime after that. That’s it. That’s all I can… wait…”

I closed my eyes, seeing Aiden standing in the soft glow of moonlight coming through my window. He’d changed his clothes and then… “You came into my room and slept on my floor, right?”

“I came upstairs to check on you after Grant left. You were asleep and I was exhausted, so I changed and lay down on your floor. Do you remember anything else?” he asked, shifting in the chair as if he were uncomfortable.

Did I remember anything else? I watched Aiden intently for some sort of clue as to what I was missing.

His locked-down emotions found their way free as his face pulled into frown, but what enveloped me the most was the strong surge of guilt, or something like it, rolling off him.

Why did I feel like I’d seen that look on him before? Like something had happened between us, something big enough that he’d feel guilty. “Aiden, did we…?”

He ran a hand over his face. “No, we didn’t.”

“Then why the look of guilt?” I asked, not caring how much it seemed to put him on the spot. “Whatever it is, just spit it out.”

“I crashed hard and was a little disoriented when I woke up in the middle of the night. I’d been dreaming of home, and I guess I hadn’t fully woken up when I made it back to your room after going to the bathroom.” His hand went to the back of his neck and he took another deep breath, releasing it like it gave him the energy to finish his explanation.

“I slid under the covers, still half asleep, thinking I was getting into my own bed. Only I wasn’t home, and it damn sure wasn’t my bed.”

His face flushed, and I could feel mine doing the same. He held my gaze though, making me awkwardly uncomfortable, yet fidgety at the same time as my skin hummed in response to the low rumble of his voice.

“Just before dawn, we both woke up and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to keep my hands off you.”

“But you said we didn’t…” I sputtered, trying to figure out how the hell I should respond to that.

I felt like a shameless hussy for things I couldn’t even remember. The blush spread further on Aiden’s cheeks, and something molten slipped through my veins.

“We had our clothes on the entire time,” he answered.

My eyebrow rose. I could feel it climbing into an arch as I pictured him in my bed beside me, not keeping his hands off me, yet fully clothed. “And…?”

He groaned. “This would be so much easier if you remembered. I feel like a total fucking pervert right now, Airen. I can’t even look you in the eye and tell you what happened without blushing like a damn virgin. Do you know how hard it was, having the best non-sex of my life and walking away, because I can’t have you? And then when I try to do the right thing, the honorable thing, Robert de Fleur chooses that fucking moment to make his move.”

He growled in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “I fucked everything up by wanting you. My mistakes can never be set right. And when it’s all said, when you know the truth, you’ll hate me just as much as I hate myself right now.”

I recoiled like he slapped me. “What mistakes, Aiden?”

“I fucking walked out on you not long after I’d rolled over on top of you, rutting like a fucking animal. I just… left. I couldn’t look you in the eye knowing I lied to you since day one about who I am and why I’ve been around.”

He paused to take a breath, scrubbing his hand over his face before adding, “It’s just like you said. I’d leave. I left your aunt’s house with the intention of keeping my distance and watching over you and your family from the outside. You never would have known I was there. It would have been easier. Better for both of us.

“After I left you, I couldn’t bring myself to come right back here without taking a few minutes to sort out my feelings. Nadia has a radar for that shit. She can just look at you and know where your head is at. I needed a few more minutes to relive that moment with you before I locked it away.” He shook his head, anger flushing his cheeks.

I waited to hear the rest, not wanting to interrupt him since everything he said was spewing out of him fast. I could tell he’d given up on schooling his words, purging them as if it would take some of the weight off his shoulders. If only for a little while.

“That’s when Robert jumped me. When I came to, I was inside his trunk. I had no idea where I was. Then a gun went off. Twice. You were crying, refusing to get in the car, so he threatened you with my gun.”

“Bang!”
I sucked in a sharp breath, hearing Uncle Robert’s voice over the top of what Aiden was saying. He’d pushed up against me, placing the gun between my thighs as he told me what he’d do, and how he’d make Aiden watch, and then kill him too.

“He had my gun—my fucking gun—because I couldn’t keep my hands off you. I wanted to kill him. I swear to you, Airen, I would have if I could have gotten free from the trunk.”

With a slight shake of his head, he stared off somewhere behind me. His voice was laced with anger as he finished telling me what happened. “I don’t know what he would have done if the police sirens hadn’t rattled him. When he popped the trunk, he forced you to get in, repeating his threat to make sure both of us were afraid enough to do as he said.”

Aiden snorted. Pushing his balled-up knuckles into his leg, he said, “He’s a sick fucking man. The only way I knew we’d survive it was if I could get us out of the trunk, but I couldn’t because he’d tied my feet and hands. You held it together long enough to get the tape off. By then, the trunk was getting hot. Exhaust was leaking in, so I punched out the taillight and bought us a little more time. Not long after that, the car swerved, and we flipped. Grant and Nadia saved our lives, but Robert got away.”

By the time Aiden ran out of words, everything had begun to piece itself back together, but only partially. There was one huge chunk still not fully forming and I was sort of relieved, because it would mean I’d remember the moment he fired the two times Aiden spoke of.

I could see the blood, could almost feel how slippery it was on my hands. The burning hold he had on my hair as he pulled me out of the house, not sure if either Aunt Brenda or Mum were alive.

“I remember,” I said, pushing the words past the nonexistent space of my closing throat.

Aiden didn’t move. He’d become a statue, watching me. Waiting for me to fall apart.