Catryn heard herself squeak in surprise. She barely had time to toss her cake aside before he was holding her. It felt so good to be in his arms again that she could almost forget that he had left her alone for three long weeks. A few gifts sent with a blunt note did not make up for that. She put her hands on his chest, valiantly fought back the urge to start undoing his clothes, and met his gaze. His eyes narrowed and she knew she had to speak her mind quickly before he had the chance to weaken her resolve.
“You have been gone from my life for three weeks to the day, Orion,” she said. “Yes, you sent me a few gifts and I thank you most kindly for them. Although, I did wonder if that book on herbs was actually a gift and not, perhaps, a little slap for deceiving you that day.”
“A bit of both actually,” he said and grinned. “A reward as well. I have never been so thoroughly gulled. And I sent a note with the gift.”
That smile of his could easily break her determination to say what she needed to say, so Catryn hurried on. “Each one did have a note with it, true enough. A very brief note. The longest was six words. You did not even come round here once, Orion. Not even to drop the gift off at the door.”
“I allowed Giles to come round here whenever he wished to.”
“Somehow I do not believe your permission was truly requested.”
He laughed. “True. I am sorry,” he said seriously, all laughter gone from his voice and expression. “I should have at least come round now and then, no matter how short a time I had to stay. I had planned to, but I had far more that needed to be done than I had thought. It embarrasses me to admit how much I had simply ignored or had left completely to others. Working just to understand the state of my own finances cost me days. And nights. But you shall be pleased to hear that I am financially well set up.”
“I never suspected otherwise, for you are far too clever for your own good at times, but I am quite pleased for you. It must be a true comfort to know that you are able to give your sons all they need.”
“And you.”
“I beg your pardon.”
Orion cursed and placed his hands over hers where they had clenched his waistcoat. “Forgive my clumsiness. I have never, not once, even considered doing what I am desperately trying to do now. I was much more erudite and calm while speaking with your father.”
“You spoke with my father? He never told me that. Whatever for?”
“I believe it is customary for a man to speak to a woman’s father before he expresses his intentions directly to her.”
As the meaning of his words settled into her mind, Catryn was surprised that the front of her gown was not bulging in and out like a bellows because her heart was pounding so fiercely. She fought to calm herself despite how easily she could see herself screaming yes and hurling herself into his arms. He had to say more, much more than simply asking for her hand in marriage. She would not lock herself into another loveless marriage.
In fact, it would be so much worse with Orion than it had ever been with Henry. What she had felt for Henry had been no more than infatuation, something shallow and fleeting that had died quickly at the first hint of strife. What she felt for Orion was so much deeper, she was not sure she could ever explain it clearly, not even to herself. He held her heart in those skilled, elegant hands and she wanted, desperately needed, him to care for her. If he was asking her to be his wife for any reason less than a true, deep caring for her, she would have to find the strength to say no to him.
“Catryn?” Orion refused to unleash the fear growing in his heart as her silence continued. “I am asking you to be my wife.”
“Why? It is not because you feel you should do so in order to preserve my reputation, is it?”
“Ah.” He relaxed now that he understood why she hesitated to say yes. “Cat, I am not that good a man. If all I felt was lust, I would simply work to continue our affair until that feeling passed. Then I would give you an expensive bauble, probably without a note or one that just said farewell, and then meander away to find another who stirred my lust.”
“Ouch.” She inwardly shuddered at the thought of him ever treating her in such a way. “Yet, I have heard that that is the way many an affair is ended. It just seems a bit . . .” She hesitated, unsure of what word to use, especially since she had no wish to inadvertently offend him.
“Cold?” Orion smiled faintly when she nodded. “It is by that time, which is why I would walk away.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers. “That is not my intention nor would I discuss the doing of such a thing with your father, which is probably why I left my meeting with him still breathing and unbloodied. Although I was sweating something fierce.”
Catryn had to smile at the image of her father thrashing Orion. “Come now, it could not have been so very bad.”
“Orion thought on the hours-long interrogation he had endured and murmured, “You can have no idea.” He stood up, bringing her to her feet along with him. “Now, come with me. I have something to show you. It may help you in taking me and my proposal much more seriously.”
Before she could think of a way to reassure him that she always took him seriously, she was being bundled into her coat. Eccles just smiled when Orion said he was taking her somewhere, and that puzzled her, if only because Eccles rarely smiled at anyone other than family. The carriage he settled her in was much nicer than the one she had recently spent so much time in, more elegant yet still inconspicuous. She had finally wrestled her way through the mind-clouding realization that Orion wanted to marry her and was ready to speak to him more thoroughly about it when they stopped before his town house.
She frowned as Orion helped her out of the carriage and escorted her to his door. There was something different about the house. At first Catryn shrugged that puzzle aside by telling herself she had not gotten a good look at the house when she had stopped to
borrow
his carriage. Just as Orion opened the door for her to step inside his home, she knew what she was seeing that had been changed. The house was much brighter than it had been.
“Oh, you painted your home,” she said as he tugged her inside and shut the door behind them.
“Painted, washed, patched,” Orion said, idly wondering why something as simple as Catryn actually noticing the work he had done should please him so much. “It was something that had been long overdue when I bought the house, but I was a laggard about tending to it. Now, come and see what else I have done.”
Orion led her inside. Despite how nervous he felt about how she would react to the home he had planned for them, he also experienced an intense sense of satisfaction when she crossed his threshold. Now that he had her in his home, he had no intention of allowing her to leave.
Chapter Twenty
The bed was huge.
Still reeling from the tour of the house, Orion cheerfully pointing out to her all the work that had been done, it took Catryn a moment to catch her breath. The way he had also made repeated reference to how the house still needed decorating, a woman’s touch, had left her speechless. She finally, wholeheartedly, believed the man was completely committed to marrying her. And now there was this massive bed.
It was made of a dark wood, each post as well as the headboard and footboard beautifully carved with vines and flowers. It was an odd choice for a man, even though it did not look feminine. The bedding itself was plain, but as she recalled the rest of the house, that was undoubtedly intentional. She could tell without touching it that the mattress and pillows were all expensive down-filled ones.
“Hang a few heavy oilcloths up there and a family of six could make that bed a home,” she said.
Orion laughed. “I insisted on it being big.”
Catryn suddenly had all too clear a vision of Orion romping in that massive bed with several buxom women.
“It was not easy to get it made to my specifications in only three weeks, but since my purse proved to be fatter than I had expected, I persuaded the men to do it.” He kissed her cheek. “A bride should have a new bed even though the one I had never held anyone but me. I had that bed moved to another room.”
Embarrassed that her sordid thoughts had been so easily guessed at, she turned her attention to the massive stone fireplace the bed faced. “You could roast an ox in there.”
“Is it not truly magnificent? The fireplaces in this home were the main reason I bought it. This area of town was growing less and less fashionable. The people who owned this house were finding it more and more difficult to rent it out, at least at a price that made maintaining it worth their while. And, since my family is buying up any property in this area that is available, I will soon be surrounded by them.”
“And thus have a place where none of you have to be continuously on your guard,” she murmured.
“Exactly. We will not only bring this area back into its former state of glory but make it ours. This is the master suite. Go, have a look around while I see to a fire for us.”
She decided not to ask why he would build a fire in the bedroom when she was supposed to be there just to see the work he had done, to judge all he could offer her. There was a chance he would bluntly tell her that he intended to bed her, and she knew she would be easily persuaded. They needed to talk first. If they fell into bed she would soon find herself agreeing to marry him without yet knowing what was in his heart, and that she could not do.
Catryn went through a door to the right of the fireplace and found herself in a large bath with all of the latest amenities. She went back into the bedroom and through the door to the left of the fireplace and found the largest dressing room and closet she had ever seen. Neither room was the sort a man would think of, not with the added touches she could see, and as she stepped back into the bedroom she found herself wondering if Orion had had a woman advise him.
“My cousin Olympia designed those rooms,” Orion said as he worked to light the kindling. “She insisted. Said a man had no idea how to make them completely suitable for a wife. At that time I had no plans to obtain a wife, but I let her have her way.”
“She has a true skill, for they are wonderful and filled with useful touches,” Catryn said as she walked to the door across the room, biting back the urge to ask him if he could read her mind.
The room she entered was an elegant sitting room. Catryn could see by the trim on the windows, the fireplace mantel, and all the other woodwork that Orion had a love for dark wood with delicate carving. In that their tastes were very similar. She walked across that room to another door and found herself in what had to be meant for a nursery. From there she entered a room that could only be Orion’s office, although the number of books she saw could easily mark it as a library.
What Orion called the master suite just needed a kitchen and it would satisfy most anyone looking for lodging in the city. Catryn shook her head in amazement and headed back to the bedroom. Orion had proven that he was indeed very serious about marriage, about living with her and all the boys as a proper family. The only reason she still hesitated to say yes and reach for the ring she knew he had in his pocket was the continual lack of any true declaration from the heart. It was not until she stepped back inside the bedroom that she realized there was something missing from Orion’s grand master suite.
“There is only one bedroom,” she said.
Orion stopped admiring the fire he had built, stood up, and walked over to her. “My wife sleeps with me. There will be no separate bedchambers, no place for her to go and hide if there is some strife between us, and no place for her to lock me out of.”
Catryn decided not to comment on that brief peek into what must have been his parents’ troubled marriage. “Very well.”
He reached out and slowly pulled her into his arms, his body immediately hardening with need. “Will you marry me?”
It was yes or no time and Catryn struggled with the fierce urge to say yes and leave all her concerns to be dealt with later. That was foolish and she knew it. It could end up hurting both of them. This time she would only enter into marriage if she was sure that there was shared affection and that their expectations about what a marriage should be matched in as many ways as possible. She rose on her tiptoes and lightly kissed him, pulling back when his hold on her tightened and he started to press for a much deeper kiss.
“I want to marry you, but”—she ignored his muttered curse—“you never answered my question.
Why
do you wish to marry me? I need to know, Orion. My first marriage was horrible, more so than I ever even knew at the time. And now you know as well, learning just how evil the deception perpetrated on me was. So I need to know why you want me for your wife. I—”
Orion put his finger against her lips, stopping her words. “I ask you to marry me because I need you at my side. I knew it before you went to your father to wait for me, and three weeks without you proved it beyond any doubt. You are my heart, my soul mate, my future.” He frowned when her eyes shone with impending tears. “That makes you cry?”
She hugged him. “Happiness. Tears of happiness. Are you certain? Even knowing about Morris and Aeddon?”
“Your husband abused you, love. You were drugged, unable to even know what was happening when those men slipped into your bed. You thought it was your lawful husband. We know now, since the man’s rude theft of my body for a while, that even Aeddon saw it as nothing more than rape and was shamed by what he had done. Alwyn is
your
child and that is all that matters.” He put his hand under her chin and turned her face up to his. “And what a damned hypocrite I would be to condemn you for what you had no say in, when I myself willingly charmed my way into too many beds. All I care about is that
you
do not let what happened trouble you. You carry no guilt or shame for what was done
to
you, not
by
you.”
“’Tis odd, but it only troubled me for a very short time, and after that only now and then.” She wiped a tear from her face, realizing that she had been more concerned about how he felt over Alwyn’s conception than she had even admitted to herself. “I realized
I
was not really even there, truly had no choice or knowledge. And then I would look at my baby and know, deep in my heart, that as horrible as it was for them to do that to me, I would not ever wish to go back and change it. Perhaps if Alwyn was not yet born, I would feel differently, but now that I have had him . . .” She shrugged. “In a way, the fact that I was drugged and cannot really recall much of that violation may be why I am not more deeply troubled.”
“True, but I will be there if it troubles you in your dreams,” he said as he started to nudge her toward the bed.
Catryn struggled to keep her balance and then laughed when he tumbled her down onto the bed. He stopped her laughter with a kiss that quickly had her trying to remove his clothes as hard as he was trying to remove hers. When they were finally flesh to flesh, she sighed with relief. She had missed the warmth of his skin, the way it felt to be so intimately close with him.
She luxuriated in his kisses, in every touch of his hands. It delighted her when he did not flinch as she ran her hands over his strong, scarred back, for it told her how deeply he trusted her. Catryn shivered with pleasure as he feasted on her breasts and then began a slow journey down her body, each kiss and stroke of his tongue heating her blood.
Captured by the power of the desire he stirred within her, she barely twitched when he began to give her the most intimate of kisses. Catryn had one clear moment of thought before she was completely lost to the fierce need gripping her, and that was a sudden understanding of what those married women and wicked widows had been talking about. Then a blinding pleasure stole all ability to think.
Catryn was still gasping from the force of her release when Orion kissed his way back up her body. As soon as he was in reach she grabbed hold of him and pushed him onto his back. She could tell by the way he shifted his body beneath her that he expected her to immediately mount him. Catryn smiled and began to kiss her way down his strong body.
The way he whispered words of praise and encouragement, letting her know how she pleased him, made Catryn bold. Despite how the taste and even the scent of his skin renewed her own desire, she struggled to recall all those women had spoken about in those scandalous whispered conversations about men, what they liked, and how to give and get pleasure out of the bedding. By the time she kissed each of his muscular thighs, she had no hesitation about turning her amorous attentions to the matter of making love to him with her mouth. The moment her lips touched his erection and a shudder went through him, she knew he wanted it as much as she now desired giving it. She proceeded to put to use every single lesson taught by those women.
When he grabbed her under the arms and pulled her up his body moments later, she did not need to see the desire tauten his features to know that he had reached the edge. She had felt it building within him, even tasted it. Catryn did her best to join their bodies without too much fumbling. A shiver of delight went through her as he filled her and she leaned forward to brush her lips over his.
“I love you, Sir Orion Wherlocke,” she whispered against his mouth.
Catryn abruptly found herself on her back, Orion kissing her as if he was starved for the taste of her as he drove them both to release with a force that pushed her up against the headboard. When he collapsed on top of her, she held him close, a pang of disappointment afflicting her because he had not returned the words she had whispered to him. She told herself not to be so foolish. He had already told her that she was his heart, his future, and his soul mate. Those words carried a lot more weight than one little four-letter word far too many people used with far too much ease and frequency.
Orion eased their bodies apart, turned onto his back, and pulled her into his arms. “That lacked finesse.”
She laughed. “It was wonderful.”
He held her close and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Lady Catryn.” He smiled when she tried her best to hug him. “And I think that, until I become a little more accustomed to the words, you might want to be very careful where and when you say them to me.”
She was laughing as he left the bed to clean up, returning to do the same service for her, despite her blushes. Once back in bed, he pulled her into his arms again and smiled up at the ceiling. This was what he needed, what he had so deeply missed during the last three weeks. In one way, the separation had served a good purpose aside from allowing him to order his finances as well as his home. The very last hint of reluctance to give up his bachelor ways, his freedom, had left him. That particular freedom had shown itself to be an empty, useless thing. Even Beatrice, with all her sensual beauty, had not stirred a spark of interest when he had met the woman in a bookshop. What she could give him was shallow, a fleeting pleasure that touched little more than his groin.
Catryn
was
his future. She was friend, lover, and confidant. It was true that he had any number of friends and several of them were also confidants, but he would not want to lie naked with any of them in the night and discuss family or the events of an ordinary day.
Grinning at that image, he opened his mouth to tell Catryn but a sound caught his attention. They were about to have some company. He pushed Catryn away and grabbed her shift from where he had tossed it on the floor.
“What is it?” Catryn asked, only to be effectively muzzled as he yanked her shift over her head.
“We are about to have uninvited guests.” He felt her tense as he did up the buttons on her shift. “Uninvited, annoying, but not dangerous.”
“Best you don your drawers then,” she said.
“Too late.”
He watched with her as the bedroom door was eased open just enough for Giles to peer inside the room. When the boy saw them both watching him, he grinned and flung open the door. Behind him stood Hector, Alwyn, and Paul.
“I believe we need to have a chat about the courtesy of knocking on a door before you open it,” drawled Orion, eyeing Giles as the boy walked up to the bed.
Alwyn studied the bed and then Orion’s bare chest. “Are you naked?”
“Yes. That is how men sleep.”
He almost burst out laughing when Catryn pressed her face into his arm and whispered curses about his idiocy against his skin. All four boys nodded as if his words were straight from some instruction manual about manhood. He suspected the first time Catryn caught one of the boys trying to sleep naked he would be blamed. Orion could not wait.