If I Loved You (Hollywood Hearts 1) (25 page)

Bobby hung up the phone. Chaz sat back and thought about what Bobby said for a moment. Too wound up to sleep now, he got up and trekked into the kitchenette for a glass of water. Then he threw on a robe to sit on the terrace, staring at the blinking lights until the phone rang again.
Allie, back to rub salt in the wound one more time?
He answered gruffly, “Salt in the wounds, Allie?”

“Chaz?” Meg’s voice was uncertain.

“Meg! Oh, Meg, I’m so sorry. I thought you were Allie.”

“What salt in what wounds?”

He was silent.

“What’s happened? Something happened. I can feel it.”

“I lost Broadway.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“What?”

“I’ve been replaced. I’m not doing Broadway.” He cleared his throat.

Now it was Meg’s turn to be silent.

“Meg? Meg, are you there?”

Her voice shook over the phone. “I’m here. I’m sorry…so sorry. You lost your dream…it’s my fault.”

“It’s no one’s fault.” He gritted his teeth.

“I should get out of your life…I’m wrecking it.”

“No!” His fisted his hand and banged it on the small table.

“I am, we are…this isn’t working.”

“It is for me. I love you.”
I can’t lose you.

“Still? After all this?”

“Shit happens in this business. You don’t know how many parts I didn’t get before
West of the Sun
came along. You get used to it…maybe that’s an exaggeration, but each one hurts a little less…”

“But this was your dream…a Broadway musical…and now it’s gone because of me.”

“Hey, I started this stupidity with my surprise gift…I had no idea. This isn’t the only Broadway part for the rest of my life. Besides, no one tells me who to love…who to be with.”

Silence greeted him.

“It would be okay if you wanted to take a break from us…just until this craziness dies down.” He picked up the note of sadness in her voice.

More silence. Chaz didn’t know what to say. Finally, he answered, “I’m here for another three weeks anyway. It should be over by then.”

“Deal. Break contact for three weeks.”

“Just to see how we do…without each other?” He asked.

“Right. Good. Okay. Starting now. Goodnight, Chaz…” her voice shook.

“Goodnight, little chick…” Before he could say he loved her, she hung up the phone. He sighed, doubt filling his mind. Even though his body was tired, his mind was wide-awake. He moved a lounge chair to the terrace, grabbed a fleece blanket, and sat staring into the night.

I love Meg, but I love acting too. It’s my life. Dammit, I want both.
He was torn, making a mental list of reasons for staying together and reasons for splitting up. Now that Broadway was out of the picture, he’d have to return to his modest house in L.A.
Why? Why can’t I stay at Quinn’s place? He’s going to be out of town.
Would Meg see him? Would they continue to be hounded by reporters, paparazzi snapping pictures of them, driving them apart?

Ask her to marry me. No…I’m not ready. Been a bachelor too long to change so quick. Maybe we could live together. No, reporters’d have a field day with that…not fair to Meg. Besides, I don’t have my own place in Manhattan. Can’t move her into Quinn’s spare room with me.

Just when he decided splitting up was best for both of them, images of Meg danced through his brain…and his groin.
Those green eyes…her hair…like silk. She’s so smart…and funny. Her skin is so…soft. Her rack…beautiful and firm, perfect fit for me.
His pulse kicked up as he pictured her naked body lounging in his bed, waiting for him to make love to her.

His fingers tingled in anticipation of running along her smooth skin and circling around her breasts. He closed his eyes and almost felt the curve of her hip, her squeezable bottom beneath his hands. His lips puckered slightly thinking of her kiss, so tender yet arousing. Her taste, a cross between fine wine and the sweet tartness of fresh fruit, teased his tongue while the memory of her fragrance tickled his nose. His groin tightened as he recalled her snug, warm wetness…the ecstasy of being inside her, their bodies rocking together and tangling in passion…kissing, devouring, and nipping each other in feverish desire. He began to pant slightly, his heartbeat speeding, as want mixed with need in his blood.

He settled back into the lounge chair, pulling the blanket up to his armpits. For a second he could swear he smelled a whiff of meatloaf. His mouth watered at the memory of the savory dish, making him hungry.
No one has ever cooked for me before. She’s the only one.
He licked his lips as if a remnant of the meal still lingered there, but his taste buds came up empty. Turning on his side, Chaz hugged a pillow to him in an attempt to recreate a fraction of the soft warmth of sleeping entwined with Meg. He closed his eyes as his mind ran out of steam and exhaustion finally took over.

She loves me. She’s mine. Not giving her up. We’ll figure it out…somehow. I must have her…all the time…every day.
A smile curled his lips as he drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Sixteen

A group of reporters and cameramen blocking the door to her apartment building was no surprise to Megan. She threaded her way through the throng, heading for the front door. They rifled questions—suggestive, nasty questions—at her, not stopping even when she stonewalled with “no comment.” Photographers snapped her picture. She was tired and bleary-eyed from traveling and crying. Her hair was a mess, but she didn’t care.
Don’t look like a call girl now. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Briny stepped out of the building, held the door open for her, and shoved two reporters back with his brawny arm so she could pass. She spotted Grady behind the doorman’s podium, curled up on a small rug. The pug jumped up and waddled over to Meg, wagging his tail furiously, overjoyed to see her again after a few days in Briny’s care.

Meg stooped to scratch the pug behind the ears, mindless of the snapping of camera shutters outside the building.
Maybe Grady will become famous.
She took the leash from Briny’s hand. “How much do I owe you for boarding Grady, Briny?”

“On the house, Missy.”

“You don’t have to…” But he raised his hand to stop her.

“Thanks.” She smiled at him.

One reporter sneaked inside while Briny was talking with Meg. “Ms. Davis, how much did Duncan pay you to fly to Phoenix to have sex with him?”

Fed up, Meg whirled around. “You don’t really think a man as attractive as Chaz Duncan has to pay a woman to sleep with him, do you?”

“Oh? So you did it for free?” The reporter scribbled in his notebook.

Color rushed to Meg’s face as anger quickly built in her chest. “Drop dead!” She spat at the reporter, casting an angry glance in his direction. Before she could reel in the dog, Grady had lifted his leg and peed on the reporter’s pants.

He jumped back and hollered. “Control your dog, lady!”

“Sorry,” she mumbled with no evidence of contrition in her voice. Then, her color returned to normal, and her frozen face cracked into a big grin. Briny snickered. Meg grabbed the leash, pulling the dog away from the man and escaping to the elevator before the reporter had a chance to follow her. Briny took the interloper by the upper arm and escorted him out the door.

Once inside her apartment, she put out fresh water for Grady and made a pot of coffee. A few minutes later, coffee in hand, she perused her mail and curled up on the sofa. The pudgy pug managed to hop on the couch and curl up behind her bent knees, resting his head on her leg. Before long, Meg was asleep with Grady snoring beside her.

* * * *

Time passed slowly for Meg. With no job to go to, she rattled around all day in the empty apartment like a lone quarter in a piggybank. Three times a day, she was forced to face the world when she took Grady for his walk. Mornings she slipped into Central Park, often unnoticed by the media because of the early hour. But her afternoon walk was sometimes a stealth operation if there were reporters or photographers hanging around.

Often she failed to slip by them and they hounded her, pelting her with questions and snapping pictures as she kept her head down and her mouth shut.

“Did you waste your education to become a call girl?”

“Does Duncan have any special requests, Ms. Davis?”

“Do you have any other celebrity johns?”

It was hard for Megan not to reply when she wanted to tell them all to go to hell, but she forced herself not to respond. After her initial outburst the week before, when she found herself misquoted in a daily paper, giving in to the reporter now seemed foolish. She refused to allow the goading of these reporters to make her appear out of control. “Harvard Honey Says She’d Give It To Chaz Duncan For Free” was the headline resulting from that little misstep. Her phone rang all day long after that broke.

If I don’t find something to do, I’ll go crazy being a prisoner in my own place.
Finally the answer came to her as she sat, staring out the window, drinking a cup of coffee and petting Grady.
I need to start my new business. All new businesses begin with a business plan!

With only three more weeks until Chaz was due to finish shooting, Megan sat down at her computer and began
writing a business plan for starting her own financial advisory service. A few days had passed and her phone had quieted down, so she stopped checking to see who was calling. Distracted by her work and vaguely annoyed when her ringing phone interrupted her concentration, she picked it up without thinking.

“Megan Davis?”

“I don’t talk to reporters…” She was about to hang up the phone, when the female voice of the caller caught her attention.

“I’m not a reporter…I’m Allie, Chaz Duncan’s agent.”

“Oh. What can I do for you?” Meg put down her cup of coffee.

“You can leave Chaz alone.”

Meg’s head snapped back as if she had been slapped. “We haven’t spoken in a week, if that’s any of your business.”

“He’s determined to stay with you…no matter the cost to his career.”

“I don’t see how that’s any concern of yours…”

“It is my business…at least ten percent of it is my business. I’ve been talking to the
West of the Sun
producers, and they’re not happy about all this negative publicity. Those movies appeal to kids, Ms. Davis. And parents don’t want their kids following the movies of a degenerate who pays prostitutes.”

“I am not a prostitute! You have some nerve!” Meg went to hang up the phone.

“Wait! Wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that you were. I know you’re his girlfriend and believe me, I’d be happy for Chaz to have found someone, if it wasn’t you.”

Megan sputtered.

“What I mean to say…this isn’t coming out right. If you love him, Ms. Davis, you’ll leave him. His career is all Chaz has. If you stay, you may destroy everything he’s worked so hard to build. The Broadway show has already ditched him. If he loses this franchise, it will be the end of his acting career.”

Megan drew in a sharp breath.

“Hello? Hello? You still there, Ms. Davis?”

“I’m here.” She tried to steady the shake in her voice.

“You must be a nice lady if Chaz is so gaga over you. I mean, it must be about more than sex so…please. Sacrifice for him. If you truly love him, that is.”

“I do.” It was almost a whisper.

“Good. Thank you…in advance. For doing the right thing.”

After Allie hung up the phone, Megan stood, transfixed. She stared at the phone for a moment before a pain flashed through her body.
She’s right. If I love him, I must give him up.

She lowered herself into a chair and stared out the window.
God, the pain. I can hardly breathe.
Grady padded over to her and curled up at her feet. She looked down at him as tears filled her eyes.

“Time to go out, boy. Thanks for reminding me.” She pushed to her feet.

As if by rote, she walked to the door and grabbed his leash before heading for the elevator. Outside, there was only one reporter hanging around.
Thank God. Now. I have to do it now. Like ripping a bandage off, it’ll hurt, but only for a moment.

She looked up as the man approached. “Any news today, Ms. Davis?”

She stopped while Grady relieved himself on the lamppost. “You’re lucky day. Yes. The news is that Mr. Duncan and I are no longer together.”

“What?”

“That’s right. We parted ways. In fact, I’m going to Delaware to see my brother and rekindle an old flame there.”

“One of his teammates?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she smiled coquettishly at the reporter who was scribbling a mile a minute.

“Wait! Ms. Davis!” He called after her.

But Megan just waved at him and continued on her way. She led Grady back into the building and sprinted to the elevator. When the doors closed, she burst into tears. Once safely inside the apartment, she dialed her phone with shaking fingers. As soon as Mark answered, she blurted out, “I’m coming to Delaware, Mark.”