If I Told You (25 page)

A few hours pass, and while I’m getting some work done, I can’t stop thinking about Brooklyn and what I almost did this morning. I feel like an asshole. I was gonna use Melissa out of anger, hurt, jealousy, and revenge. Revenge because I know Brooklyn fucked Rhys last night, but how fucking stupid am I? Is it revenge if the target doesn’t even know what they did wrong? Would Brooklyn even care? Picking up my phone, I dial her number again, but it goes straight to voicemail. I fucked up.

Grabbing my shit, I decide to go to the studio. Maybe she’s there and she’ll have to talk to me. I pass Melissa, who offers me a smile, and my stomach turns. I’m such a bastard. Once outside, I walk quickly to the studio. When I arrive, I peer in the glass window and see Jill at the front desk alone.

She looks up when I walk in. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, Jill. Is Brooklyn here?”

“Nope. Should she be?”

“No, I just thought maybe…” I sigh. “We had sort of a fight this morning.”

“You guys fight?”

“Not usually, but she thinks we need time apart. She told me she wants me, and I froze up.”

“Oh, Flynn. You didn’t tell her how you feel?”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t know why, but the words just wouldn’t come out. I think I was in shock.”

“Well you have to tell her. It’s that simple.”

“I can’t now.” Staring at my hands, I continue. “She’s going to Florida with Rhys, and then when she gets back, she’s gonna find a new place to live.” I look up at Jill. “I’ve lost her.”

Jill makes a sad face. “I’m sorry, Flynn. I wish I could do something to help. She doesn’t talk to me much.”

“She doesn’t talk to anybody. She said she needed a friend, and when she mentioned your name, I sort of panicked. I was gonna tell her that I confided in you, but everything blew up and she left.”

Jill pats my hand. “Sounds like if the two of you could just talk instead of making assumptions, this would go a lot better.”

“Probably.”

“Just give her some time. You guys are so close, eventually she’ll talk to you.” She smiles. “In the meantime, if you need a friend to just talk, feel free to call.”

“Thanks, Jill. You have turned out to be really cool. I know it’s a little weird, because of the date and all—”

“It’s not weird,” she interrupts. “Had we slept together, that would be weird.” She laughs softly. “It’s so obvious though that you and Brooklyn belong together. I’m glad I can be a friend to you if you need one.”

Nodding, I offer a slight smile. “I definitely need one. Brooklyn’s the only person I ever talk to about serious stuff. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do if she leaves my life.”

“Let’s take it one step at a time. Give her a few days.”

“At this point, I don’t have a choice.”

Lying on my bed, I dial Rhys’s number.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he answers.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

I nod, listening to his terse response. “Maybe mad isn’t the right word.”

“Disappointed is a better one.”

“I’m sorry, and I’d really like to make it up to you.”

“How so?”

“If I’m still invited, I was wondering if I could stay with you a few days before Florida? Just to make sure we won’t drive each other crazy.”

“You want to stay with me?”

“Yes.”

“With me, Brooklyn, or should I set up the guest room?”

I sigh, remembering last night’s awkwardness. I thought I could do it, should do it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Flynn’s kiss. Now I’m groveling to Rhys just so I can get away.

“I said I was sorry.”

“Am I so awful you can’t bring yourself to enjoy my touch? Or…” he pauses. “Were you thinking of someone else?”

Ignoring his jab, I recite my rehearsed answer. “To be honest, I have a lot on my mind. I haven’t been paying attention to the studio much lately, and it was bothering me. When I’m distracted, it’s impossible to do anything else. Even sex.”

Rhys is silent for several moments. “Okay. What’s changed since last night?”

“I got caught up on all my paperwork.” Unfortunately for Rhys, I’m a fantastic liar. “I feel better now, and I’d like to come over.”

“Sure, Brooklyn. I’d be happy to have you over.”

“Is today okay?”

“Of course.”

“Great. Thank you for understanding.”

“I just want to make you happy, Brooklyn. I can if you let me.”

“I know.” I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment. “I’ll grab a taxi and be there in a couple of hours.”

“See you soon.”

“Yep. Bye.”

Hanging up, I wipe away the tear that slips from my eye. Losing Flynn is the one thing I can’t handle. It’s like a nightmare. I read him all wrong, and freaked him out and now, now nothing will ever be the same again. I really fucked up.

When the taxi pulls up in front of Rhys’s apartment, a wave of nausea hits me. It’s not right to use Rhys like this. I know I want to be with Flynn, so why am I here? Because Rhys wants me? Because he’s a distraction? Because I’m a heartless bitch? Yep, that’s why.

After ringing the bell, I wait a brief moment until he answers the door with a huge a smile on his face.

“Hey, come on in.”

“Thank you.”

Rhys takes my suitcase, and I follow him down the long marble covered hall into the living room.

“You okay, babe?” Rhys asks, putting his arms around my waist and pulling me into him. “You look pale.”

“Oh, I’m okay. I think I’m just a little nervous. I’ve never stayed with a man before.”

“Never?”

“No. It’s not really my thing.”

Rhys smiles. “I’m honored to be the first.”

You shouldn’t be.
I nod and smile, then make my way to the white leather sofa. “Have you lived with someone before?”

Rhys nods, taking the spot beside me. “Yes. Once.”

“What happened?”

“I cheated on her.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Really?”

“I’m not proud of it, obviously. She was a great person, and I hurt her. She never forgave me, and I don’t blame her.”

“Why did you cheat?”

He sighs, taking my hand in his and rubbing it. “My career had just taken off and suddenly I was inundated with emails, calls, everyone that wanted a piece of me. I would go out for a run or to take care of errands and people would come up to me and want to talk about my latest review. Then the women started coming at me. Every time I turned around, there was another beautiful woman handing me her phone number, offering me her hotel room key, suggesting a private interlude.”

“Too much temptation?”

“Yes. One woman in particular…” He lowers his head, but then looks back at me. “She’s a local celebrity, very beautiful, and I guess I was star struck, in a way, that she wanted me. We were at a charity event, and I ended up at her apartment. I didn’t go home that night, and I didn’t call. Meg was worried sick, but when I walked in, she took one look at me and she knew. She said shame was written all over my face.”

“That sucks.”

“It did. She left that day, and I tried for months to get her back, but she wouldn’t have it. I felt so terrible. I hurt her, and I was heartbroken. I realized once she was gone how great she was for me.” He smiles. “From that point, I decided that I would just live life and enjoy the variety of women available to me. No more serious relationships. It just makes my life too complicated.”

“Yet, here we are.”

“Is this serious?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

Rhys leans forward and softly kisses me. “I know you’re not all in yet. You’re holding back, and I can think of several reasons why that might be.”

I shake my head, as he continues.

“I know this so it keeps my guard up. I’m happy you’re here, delighted we’re going to Florida together, and ecstatic to share my bed with you. For now, those are the emotions I allow myself to feel toward you.”

“I think we should just take it one day at a time. That’s the most I can offer right now.”

“That’s enough for me, Brooklyn.”

Sitting in my office, I stare at my phone, willing it to ring. It doesn’t. It hasn’t for days. Not one word from Brooklyn. The knock at my door makes me look up. Thank God Jill was available for dinner when I called. I’m dying and need someone to talk to.