If Tomorrow Never Comes (Harper Falls Book 2) (10 page)

"Me either." Alex wanted—well, he didn't know exactly what he wanted. But avoiding Dani wasn't on the list.

"So where do we go from here?"

"I have no idea, Dani."

"Really? Rose told me that you've been out of the Army for over six months. You knew you were coming to Harper Falls and you never once thought about me? About us?"

Again, Alex was at a loss. The last six months had pretty much passed in a blur of scenery as he had ridden his bike in and out of one European country after another. He'd tried, with increasing success, to
stop
thinking. He'd done enough of that in the hospital while he recovered from a nasty gunshot wound. Though as one of his buddies had said, all gunshot wounds are nasty; it's the nature of the beast.

"Yes, I knew I was coming to Harper Falls, and yes, I knew you would be here. To be honest, Dani, that's as far as I got." Alex found himself reaching for her hand, an old habit born of spending twenty-four hours a day with someone. Dani didn’t move her hand way, but Alex wouldn't let himself follow through on the impulse.

"So it’s like that," Dani sighed. "Is there someone else?"

"No. You?"

"No."

For the first time that evening Alex watched as Dani's eyes softened, the steely green turning warm. Not exactly inviting, but open to the possibilities.

"Is this where we swear that we've remained true all these years?"

"Absolutely," Alex nodded. "And then I'll tell you the one about
Rumpelstiltskin
,
Sleeping Beauty,
and those pesky seven dwarfs."

Hearing the laughter from across the room, Rose squeezed Jack's hand.

"That seems to be going well."

Jack glanced over. True, Alex and Dani seemed to be loosening up, the tension between them less palpable. But looks could be deceiving.

"Don't get your hopes up too high, sweetheart. I know you want Dani to be happy, but she and Alex have been apart for a long time. One conversation and a few laughs aren't going to change that."

She rested her head on his shoulder, strong and always there for her.

"But it’s a start."

Jack smoothed her hair back and kissed her cheek. Lord, he was a lucky man. As hard as it had been for Rose to open her heart to him, now she gave her love with no hesitation, nothing held back. Instead of doubting love could work, she wanted to see it at every turn. She wanted everyone, especially her friends, to be as happy as she was. She'd once given him a chance. He knew how even a little hope could grow into something bright and shiny.

"You're right, it's a start." And that was all anyone could ask for.

ALEX LET HIMSELF into Lila's apartment. Located over her flower shop, the area was small, too small for adult siblings to share longer than a few days.

He dropped the spare set of keys that Lila had given him that morning on the small table by the front door then walked the couple of steps to the sofa. It was comfortable enough for a place to sit but when pulled out into a bed—torture.

Not wanting to hurt his sister's feelings, Alex had tossed and turned for few hours before spending the rest of the night on the floor. He'd slept on harder surfaces. The next morning he was careful to be back in the bed before Lila got up. It was just another reason he had to find a place of his own—and soon.

Lila was out on a date—a dentist or orthodontist—so Alex had the place to himself and his thoughts. He loved his little sister, but she asked a million questions—she always had.

As soon as she had started forming words her curiosity tended to get the better of her. Their parents had encouraged her insatiable need to know everything—now. Alex had been an indulgent older brother, telling her what he knew and helping her look up an answer when he was stumped by her query.

As she had gotten older, she'd learned to temper her curiosity, or at least hold it in. But from the moment Alex had gotten off his bike at that picnic, Lila's filter had been nonexistent. He loved her, but it was exhausting.

Where had he been? What were the people like? The food? The weather? The fashion? Luckily she had been satisfied with one or two word answers and Alex hadn't objected, hoping she would wind down, and soon. However, the questions had started again that morning and this time they were a lot more personal. Dani understood why he had to keep his secrets, Lila not so much.

Alex understood. In a way, she was still reeling from the death of their parents. She had been living at home, attending college and working at one of the three family-owned flower shops. Friends had been a help, but no real substitute, and Alex had only been able to stay with her a short time. Once arrangements had been made to sell the shops and their childhood home, he had gotten on a plane, flying back to his life and professional obligations. Lila had been left financially secure, but money hadn't been much solace to a twenty-two-year-old who overnight had gone from the security of seeing her mother and father every day to having no one.

Yesterday had been the first time they'd seen each other since he'd brought their parent's ashes back to Baltimore. Emails, video chats, yes. Alex hadn't wanted to go back, even to see his sister, and until she moved here to Harper Falls, it had seemed that Lila was happy to stay in their hometown. Convincing her to move across the country and start over was just one more reason he was grateful to Jack Winston.

It had been a relief to see how much Lila had matured. She was a beautiful young woman, so heartbreakingly like their mother that his first glimpse of her had been bittersweet. He'd soon learned that his little sister was now her own strong, independent woman. She ran a business, dated, and when excited, reverted to a question machine. She was happy to have him home, safe and nearby. Alex figured she would get over the impulse in a day or two. Whether she did or not, by the end of the week he planned on being in his own place, in his own bed. He was trained to grab some sleep in God-awful conditions but given a choice he'd pick a big, California King every time.

Hearing a key in the lock, Alex glanced at his watch. He'd left
Tom Tom's
early, his conversation with Dani ending with no resolution. The ice had been more cracked than broken, but they had been able to share a couple of laughs. They had established that they were both unattached; the sexual attraction if anything, was stronger than ever. Getting naked with Dani Wilde would be no hardship, but, even though the circumstances had changed, he knew she needed more and he still couldn't give it to her.

"How did your date go?"

Alex didn't want to think of his sister as a sexually active person, but he didn't want to be the reason she'd cut her night short.

"It was nice," Lila said. She slipped out of her four inch heels and sighed with relief. They might have done amazing things for her legs, but they were murder on her feet.

"
Nice
being the reason it ended so early?"

"I thought I was the question asker," Lila said, all too aware of the habit she'd fallen back into.

"If you wanted to bring him back here you could have told me."

Alex watched as his sister turned on the kettle for her nightly cup of herbal tea. As far as he was concerned, if it wasn't black and loaded with caffeine, it wasn't tea.

"Want a cup?" Lila teased.

"Only if you have something that doesn't taste like watered down tree bark."

"I bought some oolong while I was at the grocery store this morning." Lila took another mug from the cupboard. "You know, in spite of the caffeine, oolong has a lot of health benefits."

"Silence," Alex ordered, joining her in the tiny kitchen. "Joining healthy with anything I put in my body is the fastest way to ruin it for me."

"Which is why Mom told you Fruit Loops contained ten essential vitamins. She never had to buy another box, and you have spectacular, but annoying cavity-free teeth."

It was true that when he was a boy Alex would have eaten sugar and only sugar for every meal. His mother's efforts to introduce a vegetable or two into his diet had only been mildly successful. But for some reason Alex had never had a cavity. He had been blessed with straight, white teeth covered in enamel an elephant couldn't have broken through. Lila had the same, but she resented the fact that Alex had saturated his with sugar and come away unscathed. Genetics, she supposed.

"Do you still eat like a ten-year-old, or has your pallet developed beyond Snickers and Ding Dongs?"

"I've been known to eat something green." Alex took the tea from this sister and went back to the sofa.

"Green as in vegetable, or green as in fuzzy and I hope it won't kill me."

"The Army doesn't believe in giving its soldiers ptomaine, Lila. Even field rations, disgusting as they tended to be, were hermetically sealed. Those babies could stay shelf stable for decades. In fact, I think the last ones I ate were from World War I."

"You never do that."

"What?"

"Talk about your time in the service."

"Never?" Alex frowned. That couldn't be right. He never went into detail, but surely he'd had general conversations about it.

"Never," Lila assured him. "Oh, when you first joined there was no shutting you up. But after the first year, nothing. Mom liked it that way, she could pretend you weren't in any danger if she didn't know any details."

This was news to Alex. He'd known his parents had wanted him to go to college, but every penny they had was tied up in their business and he hadn't ever been much of a student. The thought of four years trapped in one classroom after another and then facing massive student loans had been the deciding factor. He'd never dreamed of a career in the military, but it had seemed as good a choice as any. He'd found a home, a calling. However, he'd been blissfully unaware that his job had been a source of worry to his mother.

"I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on you."

Lila put her cup on the coffee table before sitting next to her brother.

"I
was
pretty wrapped up in my own world," Alex admitted.

"And why shouldn't you have been? You were an adult with a job, an important job. I'm making it sound like we all sat around with nothing better to do than worry. I had school, Mom and Dad had the business. I just meant that when you could write or call home, you never shared any details, not even minor ones."

"It's easier not to say anything than try to skirt around what I can and can't say. I got excellent at small talk." He thought for a moment then asked,"Was I a huge bore?"

"No," Lila laughed. She'd never seen her brother anything but sure and confident. Worrying about his lack of interesting conversation was something new, and she liked how it humanized him. Hero worshiping someone when they were never around was one thing, but after Alex had joined the Army he had seemed larger that life. If they were going to have anything resembling a normal sibling relationship, she was going to have to stop thinking of him as superhuman.

"You were always funny and charming though you became a bit more serious as the years went by. I remember Dad commenting on it after one of your calls. He thought you seemed more grounded, Mom thought you looked sad."

"When was this?"

Lila thought about it. "About five years ago, I guess."

Right after he had left Dani. Alex had been ripped up inside and felt the need to reconnect with his family. He thought he'd done a good job of covering his feelings, but leave it his mother to know something had been wrong.

"They were proud of you, Alex. Never doubt it." Lila laid her head on his shoulder; it felt good to have her brother close by. "I was proud, too. I bragged all the time about my badass brother."

"Ya?"

"Ya. And Alex, I'm still proud of you."

"I'm proud of you, too." Alex gave her shoulder a squeeze. "It couldn't have been easy to start over, hundreds of miles away from your friends. Jack says your shop is doing banner business."

"It's been a lot of work, but Rose was the one that got the customers heading my way."

"Jack's Rose?"

Lila nodded. "I helped her out one night and she was so grateful she sent all her friends to buy flowers and plants, arrangements for parties, even weddings. Thanks to her, I've hired one full-time employee and two part-timers."

"So why don't you sound happier?"

"It's late, I'm tired. I save my cartwheels for earlier in the day." Lila knew she sounded defensive, but she resented Alex 's insinuation. She
was
happy—mostly.

"Are you writing?"

"Who has time," Lila said in an off-hand manner. She gathered up their mugs, almost full with tea neither of them had drunk and rinsed them out, leaving them to drain on the rack by the sink.

"You always made time. You always carried around a notebook, jotting down random thoughts."

"And now I keep my thoughts in my head. No big deal."

"Mom and Dad wouldn't have wanted you to give up your dream to keep their's alive."

Now that was hitting too close to home, Lila thought with a wince. She didn't want to get into this, not with Alex, not with anyone.

"I like flowers, I know flowers. Flowers make people happy, so selling them makes me happy. End of story." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "And if you insist on sleeping on the floor, at least get a couple more blankets from the hall closet. They can cushion you from the hardwood."

So much for keeping his sleeping arrangements secret. And so much for trying to get her to open up. Since pushing Lila to tell him her troubles would have been the pot calling the kettle black, Alex let it go. He would keep an eye on his sister, and if at some point he thought she was floundering, then he would step in, whether she wanted the help or not.

Alex settled down for the night, his back thanking Lila for the extra blankets. He willed his brain to relax, and his body soon followed. Tomorrow he would start his new job, his new life, whatever
that
entailed Well, there was plenty of time to figure it out. As he drifted off, Dani's face, as it had been most nights for the last five years, was the last thing he saw.