If You Leave: The Beautifully Broken Series: Book 2 (7 page)

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh,
we
do, huh? You’re going to have input on that?”

Mila laughs and pats Pax’s leg. “I’m good at relationships, apparently. I can help you with yours.”

“I don’t have a relationship,” I remind her. “That was your whole point.”

She rolls her eyes again.

“Fine. We’re going to start with an easy one. Ethan Eldridge. I know for a fact that he’s single. I bumped into his mom at the library the other day. She said he’s been lonely because a lot of his old friends have moved away. So there you go. You can start by dating Ethan. He’ll be good practice.”

I hold up a spoon. “And it doesn’t matter to you that this spoon has more of a personality than he does?”

Pax bursts out laughing, looking over at Ethan before he glances at his wife.

“She has a point. Madison needs someone who can give her a run for her money. That guy… er, he doesn’t seem quite up to it.”

Mila gives her husband a skeptical look. “Maybe. But Maddy has always picked guys that are too overbearing, too controlling. And then it ends in a disaster and Maddy’s pissed off at the world and at the male species in general. Maybe she needs to try out a guy like Ethan.”

We all glance discreetly in Ethan’s direction, to find him scrolling quietly through his cell phone. He’s wearing a preppy watch, a preppy shirt, perfectly fitted khakis. He’s so neat and tidy that even his nails are buffed and cut to a neat square. Very neutral, very bland and vanilla.

Bland and vanilla just aren’t me.

Pax turns back around, shaking his head. “I don’t think he’s got it in him to handle Maddy.”

I raise my eyebrows. “He can’t
handle
me?”

Pax quickly backtracks. “That’s not exactly what I meant. You’re… shall we say… a little fierce. You need a guy with balls. You don’t need a guy whose balls are in your purse. Just sayin’.”

“Ha, so says the guy whose balls are in Mila’s handbag as we speak.”

Mila laughs as I give Pax an icy stare. He ignores it
and
my comment, while he chews on a piece of bread, totally unaffected by my glare or my accusation that my sister owns his testicles. I guess he’s secure enough in his manhood to not care.

Turning my head slightly, I can see Gabriel’s dark shape from the corner of my eye and I almost flush again.

Throughout this entire conversation, his smoldering stare has burned holes into me. It’s so potent that it almost feels like it’s actually touching me. Finally I’m unable to resist and I glance at him.

He stares back at me, his eyes stormy and dark.

What the hell is he thinking? Is he remembering the accident? Or is he remembering how scorchingly hot last night was
before
the accident? I stare at his mouth and I can’t help but remember how it tasted last night before his meltdown.

Smoky, minty… like a man. I gulp.

And then I die. Because with his gaze still connected to mine, he very purposefully slips his finger into his mouth, then pulls it out slowly, sucking it.

Just like he sucked the taste of me off his fingers last night.

Oh. My. God.

My cheeks explode into flame and his dark, dark eyes glimmer with amusement. I stare at him as I realize that he’s fucking with me. He’s purposely trying to remind me of last night.

The corner of his lip twitches and I know.

I know that he thinks he won whatever little game he’s been playing.

Eff him. Willing the color to drain away from my face, I give Gabriel my iciest stare, lift my nose into the air and turn back around to find Mila watching the interaction.

“Who’s that?” she asks with extreme interest. I shrug.

“Jacey’s brother. I just met him.”

Mila raises her eyebrow. “You just met him?” She stares at me. “That seems doubtful. You keep staring at each other. You know him. Spill.”

I scowl at my sister. “Why do you have to know me so well? I met him last night at a club in Chicago.”

Mila chokes on her drink of water. “Seriously? You met him at a
club
?”

And without any shame at all, she spins around in her seat to stare at him.

Gabriel stares back at her with interest, then cocks an eyebrow at me. He’s sprawled out in his seat, his long legs casually relaxed. None of this is affecting him in the same way it is affecting me. It’s like he doesn’t care that what happened last night was disconcerting as hell. That pisses me off.

“Turn around,” I hiss at Mila, yanking on her arm. “God. Do you have to be so obvious?”

“I can’t help it,” she says, without turning around. “How can I not look at the guy who has you all worked up?”

“I am not worked up,” I answer between my teeth, tugging on her arm harder. “Don’t make me manhandle a pregnant woman because then Pax will kill me. Just turn around.
God
.”

She finally does as I ask, but she looks at me strangely. “What the hell, Maddy? Why are you so upset? It’s just Jacey’s brother, right?”

There is a knowingness to her tone that makes me want to smack my sister, even if she
is
pregnant.

“Yes,” I answer firmly, ignoring her tone and resisting my urge to inflict bodily harm. “He’s just Jacey’s brother.”

“Well, in that case, I should go introduce myself. I mean, Jacey
is
our employee. It’s only polite.”

And with that, Mila is out of her seat and across the room before I can stop her. She moves surprisingly fast for a pregnant girl. I’m left staring with my mouth open. Pax reaches over and snaps it closed.

“She got you, Mad.”

I look at him. “Pax, I swear to God. One of these days I’m going to kill her. It’s gonna happen.”

Pax just laughs, entirely unconcerned.

“Whatever. If you were going to kill her, you would have done it a long time ago. But you didn’t. Instead you protected her like a mama bear. So I have a hard time believing that you would ever harm a hair on her head. And now I’ve gotta go take a piss. Can you behave yourself out here alone? And by that, I mean can you stay out here without killing anyone?”

I shake my head and follow him.

“I’m not staying out here,” I mutter when he looks back at me in surprise.

“Well, you’re not coming with me,” he grins. “It’s big, but I can hold it myself.”

It takes me half a second to realize what he meant, and what
it
is. I feel myself blush in spite of myself.

“God, I’m surrounded by imbeciles.”

I roll my eyes one more time for good measure, then stalk back to my office. I can hear my brother-in-law laughing as I go, just as I can feel Gabriel’s dark gaze tracking every move I make. It’s freaking unnerving and I’m pissed at myself that I let him get to me like this.

I’m barely in my office for ten minutes before Jacey finds me. She barges in without knocking, as she always does, adjusting her blonde ponytail before she drops into a chair in front of my desk.

“Maddy, what the hell? You and my brother are staring at each other like you’re food on an all-you-can-eat buffet. What the hell is going on?”

Her large brown eyes are curious as she waits for me to answer.

I start to speak, close my mouth, then try again.

“Last night… Gabriel…”

But it doesn’t want to come out. I don’t want to tell her that I almost hooked up with her brother. It doesn’t feel right. This feels like dangerous territory. Isn’t it against a code somewhere to not date your friend’s brother? Especially when something strange seems to be going on with him? If she doesn’t already know about it, I certainly don’t want to be the one to give her the bad news.

Jacey knows me well, however, and her eyes glitter and then narrow as she looks at me.

“Go on. What about last night?” Brief pause, then her eyes light up. “Oh. My. God. Did you meet Gabe last night in Chicago? He was supposed to meet us but didn’t because there was some problem with his taxi. But you disappeared too. Did you meet my brother last night, Madison? There’s no way… right?”

I swallow hard and look away.

“Oh my God!” Jacey crows, jumping from her chair and dancing around in a weird circle, like an awkward little bird. “You hooked up with my brother!”

I stare at her warily. “Almost. Is that weird?”

She looks at me like I have two heads.

“Are you crazy? I’ve wanted you guys to date for years. But when we were teenagers, he never wanted to come into town in the summers. He was going through a shy stage or some shit. And then he went overseas. You’re perfect for each other. You just don’t know it yet. The real question is why
didn’t
you hook up last night? You never explained.”

I roll my eyes and glance at the clock. It’s just shy of seven, prime dinner rush.

“Don’t get too excited. It was a late night, it was a club… and we just got a little carried away. And then we were in an accident in the taxi and it killed the mood. Since you were the one who talked me into trying to hook up with someone, the whole thing is your fault, if you think about it.”

Jacey ignores that last part as her brow furrows.

“An accident? Gabe told me this morning that there was a problem with his taxi. He didn’t say anything about an accident. Was anyone hurt?”

I shake my head. “No. Some guy just ran a red light and T-boned us in the intersection. The taxi was totaled, but nobody was hurt. It totally killed the mood, though.”

And so did walking a strangely incoherent man home to his apartment and leaving before he could murder me and hang my skin in his kitchen cabinet or something.

I so want to ask Jacey about Gabriel’s weird behavior, but I hesitate. Her face is completely frozen now, as she looks utterly concerned about her brother. I don’t want to give her even more to worry about.

“Holy shit,” she breathes. “I owe Gabe an apology. I thought he was just making up an excuse for ditching me. You guys could’ve been hurt.”

I don’t tell her that he actually was ditching her when we got in the accident.

“Yeah, I guess so. But we weren’t. Just shaken up.”

Him more than me. But again, I don’t mention that part.

Jacey shakes her head and sighs. “I swear to God, that man attracts dangerous situations. A normal person runs away from danger and Gabe runs straight for it. Always has. No one was surprised when he joined the Army Rangers, but I’m definitely surprised that he’s lived this long.”

This is the perfect opportunity to get more information about Gabe. I stare at my friend, trying to decide how best to go about it.

“I don’t remember you telling me that he was a Ranger before,” I tell her carefully. Jacey stares at me.

“Do you listen to me at all?” she demands. I flush. Truthfully, I tune her out sometimes. She tends to chatter aimlessly. A lot.

“Gabe’s been overseas with the Rangers for the last three years,” she continues. “It’s all he ever wanted to do. It’s why I’ve been so worried about him. He was in combat and Rangers do some scary shit. But then something happened and he resigned his commission. And he came home. So did his best friend, Brand. Now they’re starting a business together, but I don’t understand any of it. It’s so not them. They’re Rangers to the bone.”

She’s quiet now, subdued. I hesitate to ask, but I can’t help it.

“What happened?”

She shrugs and looks me in the eye. “Your guess is as good as mine. He won’t talk to me about it. But it fucked him up. I know he has problems sleeping and he’s just not himself. Like, he gets mad easier and shit.”

I must look horrified or something because Jacey rushes to continue.

“Not like super mad or anything. He just gets annoyed easily now. That’s not like him. But I know that he’ll go back to normal eventually. Probably soon. I’ve done some reading on guys who come home from combat. Apparently this stuff is normal. It will go away.”

This stuff is definitely not
normal
. Not what I saw last night, anyway. But I don’t say that. From what Jacey is saying, it’s clear she has no idea what’s going on with him.

It fucked him up
. She did get that part right.

Something twinges in my chest, something soft, something I usually keep hidden away. It must be my heart, but it’s hard to say. It’s been so long since I acknowledged that part of me. But the idea of a wounded soldier who came home damaged like that gets to me.

For a second I picture Gabriel in fatigues, sweaty and dangerous in the desert. It suits him, actually. But then I picture him injured and maybe even alone and for whatever reason, I hate the thought. I swallow hard, then change the subject to lighten the mood.

“I’m sorry, Jace. That’s terrible. But if that’s true and he’s some badass alpha guy, then there’s no way he’s right for me. I don’t like guys who are adrenaline junkies or whatever. And I definitely don’t like guys who lose their tempers easily.”

She scowls. “That’s not what I said. He doesn’t lose his temper easily. He’s just… more easily annoyed. I think he’s just adjusting to civilian life. It’s not a big deal, Mad. You should give him a chance.”

I already did.

I push away the thought of Gabriel’s hand between my legs last night in the taxi, while the taxi driver was right in the front seat. I sort of liked that adrenaline junkie side of him last night. I can’t lie. Not to myself.

When I fail to answer, Jacey rolls her eyes. “What the hell has happened to my old friend? The one who liked to take chances and steal gin from her parents’ liquor cabinet and sneak out of her bedroom window to go to beach parties? You know, the Madison who didn’t do things like leave her BFF at the club? I hope she comes back soon because I need a partner in crime again. I want the old Madison back. And when she comes back, she can date my brother.”

Her words practically stab me in the heart because I feel old. I feel boring. I feel like someone I’m not. And she’s totally calling me on it. So I do what I always do when I’m cornered. I hide behind a wall.

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. That Madison isn’t coming back. It’s called growing up. You should try it. And shouldn’t you be checking on your tables? Julie is probably going nuts without you.”

Jacey stares down her nose at me. “Fine. You can get rid of me right now, but trust me, I’m gonna come back to this conversation. You’re going to tell me every detail about your ‘almost’ one-night stand with my brother and we’re going to discuss how you should date him.”