If You Want Me (15 page)

Read If You Want Me Online

Authors: Kayla Perrin

Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary

“I’m not scared.”

She was either lying, or one stubborn woman. But as she ran a hand through her shoulder-length ebony hair, angling her head to the right as she did, he lost all thoughts of how stubborn she was or how afraid for her he was. All he could think of was the incredibly beautiful woman sitting across from him.

He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry, his eyes following her tresses to their tips, and lower, to
her ample bosom. As she shifted in her seat, his eyes followed the slight, gentle motion of her breasts. His entire body tingled with sexual awareness, and an arousal stretched against his jeans.

Damn. He had to get a grip. They were only breasts. Spectacular breasts, full, lush, and luscious, and right now the only reason to get a hard-on in a public place. Alice seemed completely unaware of her effect on him and he wondered if she had any idea just how sexy she was.

She heaved a sigh and he couldn’t help noticing how her breasts rose and fell in his peripheral vision. She was going to drive him mad, he was sure.

Marcus was glad when the waiter arrived with their burgers, and they dug in. But the thick, calorie-filled burger didn’t do much to douse his libido. Because watching Alice eat proved to be an erotic experience. The way her tongue flicked out to catch the stray juices of the burger…

“What?” she asked, staring at him.

“Nothing.” Damn, he was losing it.

They ate the remainder of the meal in silence. Marcus suggested dessert, but Alice was too full. And since all he could think about was getting her out of this place and into his bed, he didn’t bother to order any dessert for himself.

“Excuse me.” Both Alice and Marcus looked up to see a young black man standing beside their table.

“Yes?” he asked.

“I hope you don’t think this is a weird question, but my girlfriend and I were wondering…are you Desirée LaCroix?”

Alice nodded slowly. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

“Wow. I’ve never met an actress before.” He
glanced over his shoulder and nodded, and Alice saw a young woman a few tables away grinning at her. “Do you mind if my girlfriend says hi? I wanted to be sure it was you before she came over.”

“Sure.”

When the girlfriend practically did the hundred-meter dash to their table, Alice became uncomfortable with the attention. Others started staring and wondering. Alice ducked her head, hoping no one else would recognize her.

“Hi,” the woman said, excitement bubbling from her voice. “I’m Trina, and this is my boyfriend, Clay. I told him it was you!”

“Nice to meet you both,” Alice said.

“Do you mind…could we get your autograph?” Trina passed her a napkin.

Alice autographed the napkin for the couple.

“We love your work,” Clay told her. “You were great in that series,
Code of Honor
.”

“Thank you.” She smiled politely. They apologized for taking up too much of her time, said their good-byes, and walked away.

“Let’s get out of here,” Alice quickly said. “I’m not really in the mood for this.”

“Do you get that a lot?” Marcus asked.

“What? People who appreciate my role in the cop drama?” she asked, giving him a pointed look.

“That still doesn’t make it accurate,” he retorted playfully. “But no, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about people recognizing who you are.”

“It happens a fair amount. Mostly, people just look at me like they
think
they know who I am, but they’re not sure, so they don’t approach me. They don’t want to feel foolish in case it’s not.” Alice
glanced around, saw the curious stares coming from other patrons. “You ready?”

“Sure.”

Marcus stood and extended his arm. She accepted it.

God, what a beautifully strong arm.

Marcus settled the bill with the hostess, then they headed outside.

Night had fallen over Chicago, but the pier was alive with action. She released Marcus’s arm.

She looked out at the water and hugged her torso, but after a moment she sensed Marcus’s eyes on her, and she turned back to him. And stared. Perhaps she stared a little too long into his dark, enigmatic eyes, because the energy between them changed in a heartbeat.

“Let me show you the rest of the pier,” he said, his voice low and seductive. He nodded his head toward the back of the pier, where the crowds were sparse, and Alice highly doubted there was anything to see back there.

She wanted to say no. Heard the word in her head, but she couldn’t seem to form it on her lips. “Why not?”

Marcus closed the distance between them and placed a firm arm around her waist. Turning her, he led her down the walkway toward the back of the pier. So many thoughts were flying around in her brain, it was hard to make sense of any of them.

Maybe the alcohol had clouded her judgment. She wasn’t much of a drinker, so the two glasses of wine she’d drunk had made her a little lightheaded. But that was a lame excuse, she realized, because
the cool breeze on her skin had sobered her the moment she’d stepped outside.

Marcus’s fingers curled around her waist as they continued to walk. Away from the light. Away from the crowds.

This is dangerous.

Her brain sent off warning bells, but she was powerless to step out of Marcus’s embrace. She was powerless to stop him from leading her around the corner to the darkest part of the pier.

Oh, God. Why was she letting him do this? This had nothing to do with rebuilding their friendship!

As he slowed and stopped before a tree, whirling her so that her back rested against it, they were suddenly the only two people in the world. Behind him, the moon glistened on the water. The sight would almost be romantic if the thought of being in such a romantic, dimly lit place with Marcus didn’t scare her to death.

Marcus blew out a long, audible breath, and she saw it dance around her face before she felt it. Smelled it. The sweet scent of his breath tantalized her, and damn if she didn’t know the wanton person she’d become.

She wanted to feel those full, sexy lips on hers.

“Alice,” he said softly, yet the word reverberated through her body, causing her to shiver. She saw his eyes flick over her hair, and then his hand did the same thing, finally resting on her cheek. “Alice, Alice, Alice.”

The energy between them was so charged, it robbed her of her voice.

“I can’t believe we’re here like this.” There was no mistaking the intent in his voice, in his eyes.

“I can’t believe it either,” she whispered, surprised at the raspy note in her voice.

“I’ve been trying to fight it, but I’m not doing a very good job.”

Alice swallowed.

“It’s like you’ve put some hex on me. Looking at you isn’t enough. I want to touch you.” He trailed a finger from her cheek to her chin, and a soft moan fell from her lips. His other hand found her face. “I know. I feel the same way.”

What way?
she tried to ask, but again her voice betrayed her. She was literally paralyzed right here on the spot, unable to refute what he was saying, unable to pull out of his embrace.

Unable to think.

But hell, she didn’t want to think. Not if thinking would ruin this inexplicable excitement she felt at his touch.

His thumbs intimately brushed her cheeks, then trailed to her lips in synchronized formation. They stroked her mouth from the outer edges to the middle, then back again.

And as though Marcus had been an old high-school love and they’d done this a million times, her mouth parted on a soft sigh. She couldn’t stop herself from tipping on her toes, from arching up to meet his luscious mouth.

God help her, she was lost.

“Alice…”

His lips met hers with the faintest of contact, yet she felt a jolt unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. She tensed, and he paused, holding his face still, his lips a mere fraction of an inch from hers, their breath mingling as their gazes locked.

“It’s okay,” he murmured.

He gave her another brief kiss, then took her bottom lip between his and suckled. Softly. The feeling was so incredibly erotic. His tongue played over her lip while his teeth nipped, and her eyes fluttered shut. The exquisite delight was pure torture. If his mouth and tongue could make her lips feel this way, how would they make her breasts feel?

The thought shocked her. It wasn’t like her to think of getting naked with a man the first time she kissed him—but this was no ordinary man. This was Marcus Quinn, the man she’d been crazy in love with in high school.

She wanted to feel his tongue everywhere. Because she knew he’d know what to do with it. Just how to please her, make her cry out in ecstasy.

At last, he covered her lips with his, slowly, sweetly. His hands crept around her waist, holding her to him as his hot tongue slipped inside her mouth. Moaning softly, she accepted it. This was pure pleasure. Pure heat.

She couldn’t get enough of him.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer, savored the taste of him, the feel of his hard body against hers.

This was dangerous, because Marcus had the power to hurt her, yet she couldn’t pull away, couldn’t stop the soft mewling sounds escaping her lips.

Couldn’t stop kissing him.

The kiss grew more urgent and he brought his hands to her face again, holding her firmly in place, leaving her no avenue of escape. If she died from
lack of breath now, it would be the best kind of death she could ever imagine.

Lord have mercy, Marcus Quinn was kissing her!

And this time, it wasn’t a dream.

As abruptly as the kiss began, it ended when Marcus tore his lips from Alice’s. To her chagrin, she ushered a soft moan of protest.

His eyes met hers, dark, intense. For a moment, neither spoke.

“Man.” He rested his forehead against hers.

“Marcus…” Her voice sounded so husky that it was almost an invitation to kiss her again.

Pulling his head back, he smiled at her. “You’re delicious.”

Just like that, heat pooled between her legs. Never ever had anyone said she was delicious.

“I…am?”

“Mmm-hmm. Sweet. Hot.”

God, he was making her hot and wet just whispering those words to her. It was all so unreal, it seemed like a dream, but the frantic beat of her heart and the urgent rise and fall of her chest told her that this was very real.

Marcus Quinn had kissed her!

He glanced toward the water, breaking the intimacy of their heated gaze, and Alice inhaled a much needed breath. Slowly, she regained her sanity. This was wrong. She’d screwed up their friendship when she took off years ago. She didn’t want to ruin their chance at rebuilding it by letting her emotions get the best of her again.

Squirming a little, she moved out of his embrace and walked toward the railing. The water was tranquil, offering her a chance to collect her thoughts.

Marcus knew he’d crossed the line, but for the life of him, he didn’t know what to do to stop his raging hormones. Damn, but she was gorgeous. Her smile, her body. She had felt so good pressed against him that if they weren’t on this pier, he would have been tempted to take her right here.

He watched her as she stood at the water’s edge, and walking up to her, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “What are you thinking?”

So many emotions swirled through her, she couldn’t define exactly how she felt. Scared, excited, confused, exhilarated and depressed all at the same time. “Why did you kiss me?”

He hesitated. “I don’t know.”

She wished Marcus’s hands didn’t feel so right on her body. She wished he’d given her a different answer.

“All I know is that I’m attracted to you,” he added.

Alice said nothing. Surely it wasn’t really
her
he wanted, but Desirée LaCroix. She was used to that. From the moment her body had changed, men had been attracted to her new image, even though she
was the same person she’d been before. Not even Noel, the man she’d planned to marry, had been able to see past her looks.

But Marcus was supposed to be different, and the reality that he wasn’t seeing her for her made their moment of passion harder to bear. She shouldn’t have strolled back here with him, shouldn’t have kissed him. No matter how tempted she was, she had to make sure nothing like this ever happened between them again. How could she put her emotions on the line once more? She’d dared to believe he might be her Prince Charming, but he’d fallen in love with Tanisha. He hadn’t found
her
, Alice Watson, attractive. And beneath her makeover, she was the same person.

Clearly, Marcus liked her new look, and for that reason, he could probably have a casual fling with her. But Alice couldn’t let that happen. Because deep in her heart, the place where she’d locked up her feelings for Marcus, she could feel them starting to escape once again.

“Alice—”

“I think we should go,” Alice said brusquely.

He sighed. “You’re probably right.”

Marcus wasn’t even going to put up a token protest. She tried, but failed, to fight the sense of disappointment.

He rubbed his hands up and down her arms to warm her, and Alice quickly stepped to the right, moving past him. His touch was too distracting.

They walked in silence to the car. Once inside, Marcus spoke. “With all the weird stuff that’s been happening, I was thinking maybe you should move in with me.”

Alice whipped her head to the side, staring at him in disbelief. “What?”

“I’m a cop, Alice. I can protect you.”

“I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself,” Alice replied testily.

“But what about your mother?” Panic flashed in her eyes, and he knew he’d made his point. “If someone out there actually wants to hurt you, and he or she knows where you live—”

“No.” Alice wouldn’t consider the idea.

“I think you should give it some thought.”

“I just did.”

Marcus sighed. “I’m trying to help, Alice. As your friend.”

“And if I need your help, I’ll call you. But I’m not moving in with you.”

Clearly she was determined, so Marcus didn’t bother to press the issue. He could only hope that whoever was harassing her didn’t mean her serious harm.

 

Even after she watched Marcus’s car disappear into the night, Alice’s heart didn’t slow to its normal pace. The memory of how his full, sexy lips had felt on hers kept invading her mind. Every time it did, she felt a rush of warmth and an exquisite pulsing at the center of her being. The memory of his hands possessively wrapped around her waist led to another level of daydreaming she knew she ought to be ashamed of.

Alice sighed. She wasn’t ready to go inside. She feared that with one look at her, her mother, sister, and niece would know her innermost erotic
thoughts. So she stood on the porch with her back resting against the door, wondering what it would be like to have Marcus as a lover.

She pictured him naked, powerful, with that sly smile dancing on his lips and in his eyes as he taunted and teased her to arousal. Then she pictured him walking toward her, covering her lips with his as he slowly unzipped her dress…

“Enough,” Alice said aloud, heaving herself off the door. She had to put Marcus out of her mind. Still, he had such strong hands and a wickedly sensual way about him that Alice knew he’d be an amazing lover.

Shaking her head, she dug in her purse for the key to the front door. As she slipped it in the lock, she thought she heard the sound of someone crying. Had something happened? God, was her mother all right?

She threw open the door and rushed inside in time to see Mia charging up the stairs, sobbing loudly. Marie was on the landing, fast on Mia’s heels, but, hearing Alice come in, she paused.

Alice stared at Marie, then glanced upstairs again. Mia’s bedroom door slammed shut.

“What is going on?” Alice asked her.

Ignoring her, Marie stomped up the stairs. Alice followed her, sensing major trouble brewing. Upstairs, Marie opened Mia’s bedroom door, but Alice darted past her, heading into Mia’s room before she could. She didn’t like her sister’s lethal body language.

Mia was nowhere to be seen, but the sounds of whimpering came from the closet. Alice approached the closet door and knocked softly. “Mia, honey. What’s wrong?”

Mia opened the closet a fraction and snapped, “Ask her!”

Alice’s head went back to the doorway, where Marie now stood with both hands planted on her hips. Alice almost expected steam to come from her sister’s ears, that’s how angry she was.

“You come out here, child!”

Opening the door, Mia released a sob and threw herself into Alice’s arms. She wrapped her arms around her waist in a viselike grip.

Marie’s eyes flashed fire. “Come here.”

Mia buried her face in Alice’s stomach.

“Your aunt can’t protect you, Mia. Get your butt over here!”

Marie started toward them, but Alice shielded Mia and turned her body so that her back faced Marie. Mia lifted her head and as Alice stared down into her tear-filled eyes, she saw herself there, the way she had been years ago. The helplessness. The fear that no one understood nor loved her. The sight broke her heart.

Finally, she looked over her shoulder at her sister. “Marie, maybe what you both need is a cooling-off period—”

“And how would you know? You’re not a mother.”

The comment was like a slap in the face, but Alice paused, deliberately holding her angry retort in check. “No, but I was a child.” Gently, she rubbed Mia’s back. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go wait in my room?”

“Alice—” Marie began in a warning tone.

“Marie,” Alice replied, her tone just as serious. Then to Mia, “Go on.”

Mia was hesitant, but eventually darted past her mother and down the hall. When she heard a bedroom door open and close, Alice asked, “What on earth is going on?”

“That child is too old for her years, that’s what’s going on.”

“She’s a child, Marie. What did she do that was so horrible?” Memories of her own troubled relationship with her mother flitted through her mind.

“She needs to learn her place, instead of lipping off.”

Her sister looked as if she were about to explode. “Calm down, Marie. From what I’ve seen, Mia is a good child. I don’t know what happened—”

“You’re right, you don’t know what happened.”

There was a time when her sister’s confrontational attitude would have made her back down, but not anymore. “Then why don’t you tell me?” Alice asked gently.

Marie scowled. “She’s mad at me because I won’t fund her acting classes.”

“I thought Chad paid for that.”

“So did I.”

“What happened?”

Marie walked further into the bedroom and dropped herself onto Mia’s bed. Alice sat beside her.

“He’s the one who’s gotten her all excited about acting classes—and he knows I can’t afford it. The fee for the second half of the class is due now for those who paid in installments, if Mia’s going to stay in the class through to the summer. Chad called at the last minute and said he doesn’t have the money. He says that since he’s paid for the classes in
the past I should pay for them now. He knows I don’t have extra money for this.”

Alice looked at her sister with a dumbfounded expression. “That’s the problem?” When Marie didn’t answer, Alice smiled. “Why didn’t you just ask me? You know I have the money.”

“I don’t need a handout.”

“This isn’t a handout. It’s a hand up.” In her own stubborn way, Marie had always refused any money from Alice on the few occasions they’d communicated over the years. She knew it was pride, but Alice didn’t think pride should be a factor with family. “Besides, it’s the least I can do for the niece I haven’t seen in years.”

“Alice, you know how I feel about this!”

“Yeah, but I don’t understand. I’m your sister.”

“My
baby
sister. Do you know how it looks if I can’t take care of my own child?”

“You have been taking care of her.” Where was this coming from? “I’m offering to give her a gift. Last I heard, it wasn’t against the law for an aunt to give her niece a gift.”

“I guess not.”

“Then why are you being so stubborn? Unless this isn’t about the money…”

Marie buried her face in both hands, then slapped them against her thighs. “Chad did this deliberately—to make
me
look like the bad one.”

“Why would you look bad?”

“Because I’m the one who’s saying no to the classes. Not because I don’t want her to take them, but because I can’t afford it. It’s another hundred dollars, Alice. Mia isn’t going to think about the fact that her father isn’t coming up with the money now;
she’s only going to think that
I’m
the one saying no to her. I swear, all Chad cares about is proving to her that he loves her more than I do.”

Alice’s hand hovered over Marie’s back, wanting to offer comfort with a touch, but let her hand drop to her lap. “Maybe…maybe you’re wrong. Maybe Chad just doesn’t have the money.”

“Because he’s spending all his money on the women he’s seeing doesn’t mean my daughter has to go without!”

She finally touched Marie’s back soothingly. “Is that what this is about? You’re still in love with Chad?”

Marie’s eyes flew to hers. “God, no.”

“Then what’s the problem? I said I’d cover it.”

“So now you get to look like the good one. Again, I’m bad. Everyone else is good.”

At her sister’s comment, Alice took her hand back. Her subtle comfort clearly meant nothing to Marie—and that hurt more than she cared to think about. But for the first time, Alice realized that her sister had insecurity issues, and that realization surprised her. Marie had always seemed so secure and together. What had happened over the years to shake that confidence? Her breakup with Chad, the man who’d been the love of her life?

Alice continued in a gentle tone. “Marie, we’re talking about acting lessons. I’m hardly taking your place.”

“Aren’t you?” She gave her a pointed look. “You’re teaching the class, everyone’s fawning all over you, especially Mia. Pretty soon she’s gonna want to pack her bags and head to Hollywood with you.”

“So, this is about Hollywood again? Big, bad evil Hollywood that’s going to corrupt your daughter?”

“It changed you. It could easily change Mia.”


Hollywood
did not change me.
I
changed me. You don’t like the fact that I’m not the same timid Alice I was years ago, do you?” The one who had lived eighteen years in her sister’s shadow.

Marie ignored her. “You know how I feel about this subject.”

“But I don’t understand. Mia’s ten years old, Marie. Nobody’s talking about Hollywood here. We’re talking acting classes. It’s hardly a life commitment.”

“But with you encouraging her—”

“All right,” Alice said, holding up a hand, “you need to stop.” As her sister looked at her with a startled expression, Alice stood. “You know, you never did support my dreams when I was younger. Neither did Mom. And I felt so damn alone that I felt the only place I could find happiness was thousands of miles away. Is that what you want to do to your daughter? Make her sad enough that you push her away to look for happiness somewhere else? Trust me, Marie, you do not want to do that. Show her your love. Show her your support. And teach her to make responsible decisions. If you try to hold her down, you’ll lose her. And you may never get her back.”

Surprisingly, Marie didn’t say anything. Merely sighed softly and looked away.

“You’re probably right.”

Unable to believe her ears, Alice spun around and faced her sister. “What did you say?”

“I said, you’re probably right.” She ran both
hands through her hair, pulling it tightly off her face. “I don’t want to lose her.”

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