Igniting the Flame (Firebrand Series) (11 page)

Richard’s eyes raked her face. “Just by being you, Lainey.”

A tear leaked from the corner of her eye, but she didn’t wipe it away. “I can’t promise you. . .” She paused and glanced at Edward. “And I can’t promise you. . .” Her gaze drifted back to Richard. “That I will ever forget him. I loved him with a passion I didn’t know I possessed, but I’ve come to see that it wasn’t enough for him. I need to let Ash go, so he can follow whatever path he wants to travel, and I need to reach for the life I want, the one that you’ve offered to me.”

Richard’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “What are you saying?”

She took a deep breath. “I’m saying that I would be honored to be your wife. I promise I will be faithful and true to you alone and will never give you reason to doubt why you asked me to marry you.”

Moisture sparkled in his eyes, and he reached his hand across the table. With a smile she laced her fingers with his. Edward pushed up from the table again and cleared his throat. “Now I think it’s time I left you two alone.” He walked around the table and kissed Lainey on the cheek. “You’re now an official member of the DeHan family, my dear, and it’s made me happier than anything has in a long while.”

“Thank you, Edward,” she murmured. He didn’t say anything else but glanced at Richard and nodded before he walked from the room.

When he was gone, Richard exhaled a long breath. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“Well, I am. Ash wants to live an adventurous life all over the world, so now he can do that. I want a home and a family for my child, and I’ll have that. Edward wants his grandchild to have the DeHan name, and he will. You are the only one I’m concerned about. I want you to be happy, too.”

Richard’s eyes sparkled, and a small smile pulled at his lips. “ I’ll be happy with you.” He didn’t blink as his gaze moved over her face. “You’re so beautiful, Lainey, the most perfect woman I’ve ever known, and you’re going to be my wife. That’s all I need.”

“You’re such a good man, Richard. I know we can have a good life together.”

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “What kind of wedding do you want? Whatever you want, you can have.”

She shook her head. “No big wedding for me. Things like that aren’t important to me. I’d rather go down to the courthouse, get a license, and let a judge perform the ceremony. We’ll be just as married as we would if we’d planned a big wedding for months.”

He nodded. “If that’s what you want. When would like to do it?’

“Today.” She glanced at her watch. “I can be ready in an hour.”

He released her hand and sank back in his chair, his eyes wide. “Today?” His voice rose about an octave as he spoke. “Why so soon?”

She shrugged. “If we’re going to do it, let’s get on with it. I’m having a baby in a few months, and I want us to spend the time getting ready together. There are birthing classes to attend, and if you’re going to coach me, I want you to go as my husband.”

His body tensed, and a dazed look crossed his face. “You want me to be your birthing coach?”

It hadn’t occurred to her that he might not want to. Her breath hitched in her throat. “Well. . .” She inhaled and tried to speak again. “Only if you want to. I won’t insist if you’d rather not.”

His eyes softened, and he grabbed her hand once more. “Not want to?” he asked, his eyes filled with happiness. “Of course I want it. I just never thought you’d ask me.”

“So...today? I mean if that’s not—?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “I’m thrilled. We’ll go as soon as they’re open. But before we do, I want you to pack a bag. Enough clothes for three days.”

She frowned. “Are we going somewhere?”

He arched an eyebrow. “You don’t think I’d marry you and bring you straight back to this house. No way. I’ll take off today and tomorrow so we can have a long weekend together. As soon as we’re married, we’re heading to the Asheville airport and flying to New York for a honeymoon. How does that sound?”

Her heart skipped a beat at the word honeymoon. Somehow she hadn’t thought that far ahead or about that part of marriage. Now that she was committed, she had to. Hoping her smile covered her momentary flash of panic, she nodded. “I’ve never been to New York.”

“Then go get that bag packed while I make our reservations.” He rose from his chair, walked around the table, and pulled her to her feet. Wrapping his arms around her, he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “You’ve made me very happy, Lainey.”

She wanted to tell him he’d made her happy, too, but her throat closed on the words. Instead she smiled, pulled out of his embrace, and walked from the room. As she approached the stairs that led to the upper level of the house and her room, she forced herself to walk slowly. She couldn’t let Richard know how her stomach roiled, and how her heart pounded in her chest at the decision she’d just made.

She closed her bedroom door behind her and walked to the jewelry box sitting on her dresser. She stared at it for a moment before she lifted the top and stared down at the contents. The engagement ring Ash had given her sparkled from the bottom of the box as if taunting her with memories of what might have been. She picked up the ring and slipped it on her finger. With a heavy heart she sank down on the bed and held her hand up before her eyes.

She turned her hand back and forth in front of her and smiled as the diamond caught the sunlight shining through the window. Ash had been so happy the night he’d given it to her, and then he’d thrown away everything that he’d promised. He couldn’t have loved her if he was so quick to leave. She would never forgive him for how he’d hurt her.

He had chosen what he wanted out of life—adventure, brotherhood, and missions all over the world. Now it was time for her to choose and get on with her life. She yanked the ring from her finger. Then she took a deep breath and walked back to the jewelry box, where she dropped the ring inside and closed the top.

Tears filled her eyes, and she rubbed the backs of her hands across them. Taking a deep breath, she straightened and stared into space. “Goodbye, Ash.”

She walked to her closet, pulled out a suitcase, and readied herself for what lay before her.

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Lainey lay in the king-sized bed in the New York hotel and stared at the ceiling. She still had trouble believing that she was there, that she and Richard were married. The trip to the courthouse yesterday, the marriage ceremony before a judge, and the flight to New York still seemed like a dream.

The only thing that felt real was the panic she’d felt when the bellman had set their luggage down in the suite. Richard must have sensed her sudden anxiety, because he smiled, picked up her suitcase, and took her by the arm.

“Your bedroom is this way.” He led her to a separate room with windows that provided a breathtaking view of Central Park.

They’d stopped inside the door, and he’d put her suitcase down before turning to her. “I know it’s been a tiring day for you. Why don’t you take a nap before dinner? If you want, we can go out, or we can have room service.”

Something about them sharing a meal together alone in a hotel room seemed a bit intimate to her, and she wasn’t quite ready for that. She took a deep breath. “I think I’d like to go out, if that’s okay with you.”

He nodded. “That’s fine with me. I’ll make dinner reservations while you rest, then I’ll wake you in time to get dressed before we have to leave.”

“That’s sounds good.”

He turned to leave, and she noticed for the first time he hadn’t brought his suitcase in the room. “Wait, Richard.”

With his hand on the door knob, he turned to stare at her. “What is it?”

“I was wondering. . .” She swallowed and took a step toward him. “I mean, where are you going?”

“I’m just going to make some phone calls.” He frowned, and then his face relaxed as if he understood her confusion. He placed his hands on her shoulders. She flinched at his touch. His shoulders sagged, and he exhaled as he removed his hands. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

She grimaced as she rubbed the perspiration that had popped out on her forehead. “No, I’m sorry, Richard. It’s just that this is so new to me. I don’t mean to hurt you, but the truth is ..”

When she didn’t finish her sentence, he frowned. “What is the truth?”

She blinked back tears. “I’m scared.”

He smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You don’t ever have to be afraid of me. I won’t ask you to give me anything you’re not ready for. That’s why I booked a suite with two bedrooms. You can have your privacy in here, and I’ll sleep in the other room. All I want is for you to let me show you New York. I want to spoil you and enjoy being with you, and I want you to enjoy being here with me. I want your memories of this trip to be happy.”

She rested her hand on his forearm. “Richard, you really are the best man I’ve ever known. Thank you.”

He touched her cheek with his fingertip and trailed it down her face. “I want you to keep thinking of me that way. It makes me very happy.” Then clearing his throat, he pointed to the bed. “Get some rest, and afterward we’ll go to dinner.”

Now as she got ready to spend the second night in the big bedroom alone, she thought about the wonderful day they’d enjoyed. Richard had loved showing her all the sights of New York. She still didn’t know how he’d gotten tickets to the hottest, sold-out show on Broadway tonight, but he had.

It had been a whirlwind day, but it had been the best she’d had in a long time. For some reason she didn’t want it to be over, though. She felt happy for the first time in months, and she knew it was because of Richard.

He’d seemed happy, too. He’d enjoyed showing her the city, especially the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Her skin grew warm at the memory of them standing in front of an abstract painting while Richard explained how Jackson Pollock had maintained the balance between accident and control in his technique. As he’d pointed out the different effects the artist had created, his voice had grown excited, and his arm had circled her waist as if he needed to draw her in to his deepest thoughts.

Her skin grew warm at how she’d felt loved and sheltered in his embrace. Then on the way home from the theater in the cab tonight, she’d lain her head on his shoulder and felt such peace. The scent of his after shave had filled her heart. Now she closed her eyes and tried to recall the smell once more.

Now fully awake, she took a deep breath, rose from the bed, and walked into the main room of the suite. She hesitated just inside the door and looked at Richard, standing at the window as he looked out over Central Park. He hadn’t heard her come in, so she silently joined him at the window.

He turned and smiled at her.“I thought you were asleep.”

“I think I’m still too excited after the busy day we’ve had.” She smiled at him. “Thank you for a wonderful day.”

His gaze raked her face. “It was my pleasure. There’s no one I would rather have shared it with than you.”

She looped her arm through his and laid her head against his shoulder. “I want you to know that I’ve been happy today. In fact I’ve been happy ever since you asked me to marry you.”

The muscles in his throat contracted as he swallowed. “Me, too.”

“I know I’ll make mistakes, and sometimes I’ll make you sad, but I do want this marriage to work. So I promise that I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all I can ask.”

She took a deep breath and turned to face him. “We have a long road before us, and there are going to be problems. We both know that. But I think we can meet those problems and deal with them if we do it together.”

“I do, too.”

“I don’t ever want to make you sorry you asked me to marry you.”

He lifted his hand and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I could never be sorry.” His voice sounded like a soft rasp.

She covered his hand with hers, turned it over, and kissed his palm. His body trembled in response. “I think we should start now.”

He didn’t move. “What are you doing?”

Lainey stared up into his face, and she could still feel the shadow of his hand on her back as he guided her through the exhibits at the museum earlier today and the way her skin warmed when she laid her head on his shoulder in the cab. She put her arms around his neck, pulled his head down, and brushed her lips across his. She pulled back a few inches, their breaths mingling, and waited for him to respond. Suddenly he grasped both sides of her face with his hands and crushed their lips together. His hands slid up her face and into her hair.

When he released her lips, he trailed soft kisses across her cheek, and his warm breath fanned her ear. “Your hair is so beautiful. I’ve wanted to run my fingers through it since the first time I saw you.”

She pulled back to stare up at him. “Any time you want.”

His forehead wrinkled, and his eyes bore into her. “I love you, Lainey. I love you.”

“I know,” she answered. “I know.”

And then she took his hand and led him toward the bedroom.

Chapter 14

Nine Months Later

Ash had never been as glad to see buildings and paved streets as he was when the plane glided in for a landing at the Texas military airport that would serve as the departure and return destination for Firebrand missions. Life in the jungles of South America had been tough for the last fourteen months, but he’d made it, as had Reese and Colt. Together they’d brought their recruits through the rigorous training and seen them emerge as highly trained operatives, ready for whatever their government asked of them.

Although most had made it, some hadn’t fared so well. The ones who’d given up weren’t the kind they’d needed anyway. Only the ones who conquered Firebrand’s high standards were worthy to wear the tattoo.

Every time he thought of the mark on his arm, he remembered how Lainey had looked when he’d told her he was leaving. Her eyes had accused him as her words had torn at his soul. He’d tried to be honest with her, to let her know that their life together didn’t have a chance unless he could follow this path to fulfilling the dreams he’d had for years.