Authors: Kiki Swinson
“Now that looks better,” he commented the moment he laid eyes on me.
“Oh boy, hush,” I replied and then I flipped the light switch off while he opened up the front door.
When we got outside, he walked ahead of me so he could unlock the passenger side door. Yeah, that’s just the gentleman working inside of him. And as soon as he closed the door behind me, two guys with black masks on and guns in hand came up from behind him and started unloading their clips on us.
I heard Mark fall to the ground instantly and when I heard the loud thump, I knew in my heart that he wasn’t going to be getting back up, which is why I screamed at the top of my lungs and tried to scramble to the driver’s side of the car, but it was too late. I got hit with two bullets.
I felt the first one go through my right arm like a flash of lighting while the second went through my right back side.
Oh, my God! I’m getting ready to die. These bullets are burning my insides up and I’m bleeding everywhere. I need some help. But I can’t move.
“Yeah, nigga! You thought it was over, didn’t you? Trying to play gangsta in front of your punk ass click,” I heard one of the guys yell. “Now, look at ’cha bitch ass!”
I lay there motionless. I wanted these guys to think that I was already gone.
“Take that nigga’s jewels,” I heard the other voice say.
“A’ight,” said the first guy.
And then I heard a whole bunch of movement and commotion on the ground. It sounded like one of the guys was struggling to move Mark’s body.
And as bad as it sounds, I couldn’t bring myself to cry. I was in too much pain. And not only that, I knew that if I continued to play dead, then I would stay alive.
“A’ight. Let’s go,” one guy said.
“Wait! Let me see if his girls still breathing.”
“Yo, I stuck her first! I know she’s sleeping. Now come on before the police comes.”
“A’ight,” the other guy replied and then I heard them both run off. About a minute later, I heard a car’s tires squeal as they sped off.
Now it took every ounce of strength I had within myself to move my body. And when I was able to do this, I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket book and dialed 911.
“911, what’s your emergency,” the lady said but my mouth wouldn’t move. And then I went out cold and lost all consciousness.
***
I began to hear voices and that’s when I realized that I had regained consciousness. I opened my eyes but was instantly blinded by the lights that were blaring at me from above. I closed my eyes and tried desperately to control my breathing through these plastic tubes I had plugged deep into my nose.
“She just opened and closed her eyes,” I heard a familiar voice say. When I reopened my eyes once again to get a look at the person behind the voice, I managed to escape the light blaring down at me as the person who had spoken was blocking it.
“Hey look! She opened up her eyes again,” the same voice commented.
Now I knew who this person was, but I wanted to make sure, so I blinked my eyes into focus and that’s when I got a clear view of my cousin, Nikki.
My home girl Rhonda was also in this picture. She was standing right next to Nikki.
“Kira, baby, can you hear us?” Rhonda asked while I noticed that she had been crying.
Now it took me a minute or two, but I answered her by nodding my head “yes.”
Then she asked me, “Well, can you talk?”
So I took a deep breath and began moving my lips, so the words, “Where am I?” spilled from my mouth.
“You’re in the hospital,” Nikki said.
“Where’s Mark? Is he all right?” I asked.
But from Nikki’s facial expression, I could tell that he wasn’t, which wasn’t good enough because I wanted answers. So I asked her again.
“Where’s Mark? Is he all right?”
“He didn’t make it Kira,” Rhonda said. “The paramedics pronounced him dead before they could get him here. It was too late.”
Hearing Rhonda’s words got me choked up really bad. The lump in my throat made it very hard for me to cry out. But, it didn’t stop the tears in my eyes from trickling down my face.
“No, I can’t believe that,” I was finally able to say.
“Listen, Kira, we couldn’t believe it either. But, he’s gone,” Nikki stepped up and said.
“No! Nikki, you know he’s a fighter.”
“Kira, baby, please calm down and take it easy.” Everything’s going to be all right.” Rhonda interjected.
“Yes, girl. Everything’s gonna be all right,” Nikki repeated.
And instead of uttering another word, I closed my teary eyes and just lay there as a lot of mixed emotions started overcoming me. And I’m talking about the feelings of knowing that a nigga I was starting to love is now gone and never coming back. But what’s so really messed up about all of this is that I was with him when those masked muthafuckas murdered him.
Now how am I ever going to erase that night from my mind? I know that it’s gonna be damn near impossible to do. I mean, what am I going to do now? How am I going to go on with my life knowing that I’m not going to be able to have him lay next to me ever again? And how am I going to be able to go home and not think about the fact that he got killed right outside my apartment?
And I know that there has to be some traces of his blood splattered all over my sidewalks. So what am I going to do? I can’t go home and see that. I just can’t go back there, ever.
Changing Da Game
Nikki and Rhonda stayed by my side in the hospital room the entire morning. They tried every trick they could muster up just so I could feel better about the situation. But nothing they did worked. And what made matters worse was when the doctor who performed my emergency surgery walked into the room.
“Hello, Kira. I’m Dr. Magno,” the six feet tall, bald-headed Caucasian man said. “I’m just stopping by and checking in to see how you’re coming along.”
“Excuse me, Dr. Magno. But can you tell me how long is she going to have to be here?” Nikki jumped in and asked.
“Well, it all depends on her. But I will say she could be here for a minimum of two days.”
“Two days?” I said with frustration.
“Yes, Kira. You’re going to have to be here for at least two day, so we can monitor your vitals. Not only that, you lost a lot of blood as a result of an internal hemorrhage. And unfortunately, the hemorrhaging caused you to have a miscarriage.”
“Wait a minute, doctor...I lost my baby?” I said aloud as my eyes filled up with tears, hoping my mind wouldn’t register the thought.
“I’m sorry Kira, but, yes, you did. And I assure you that there was nothing that could be done to save the baby. However, I have requested that you see a family planning counselor before you’re discharged from the hospital. So if you should have any questions, please feel free to address them to her. But in the meantime, I want you to relax yourself as much as possible. And when you start to feel the pain coming on, let your nurse know so she can give you the medicine I’ve prescribed for you.”
“Well, doctor, can you tell us how long she’s gonna have to wear those tubes in her nose?” Nikki wanted to know.
“It won’t be much longer,” he began saying. “Her nurse will remove them before her shift ends, which is around 3:30 this afternoon.”
“Well, what about this IV? Will the nurse be taking that out too?” Rhonda jumped in and asked.
“No, we’re going to leave that in for another day. And the reason for that is because we’re using it to dispense her meds. Plus, she was severely dehydrated. So we have to replenish her body with the fluids needed.”
“So they’re going to remove it tomorrow?” Rhonda asked.
“Yes. That’s exactly when it will be removed,” Dr. Magno assured her.
He talked to us for a few more minutes and answered a couple more questions until he was paged over the intercom. But before he left, he assured me that he’d be back to check on me before I left the hospital for good.
Right after his departure, both Nikki and Rhonda turned back around towards me. But Nikki was the one who spoke first.
“Kira, I am so sorry about the baby,” she told me as she reached down to hug me.
“Yeah, girl, I’m sorry too,” Rhonda interjected as she grabbed a hold of my hand.
“Oh, but it’s going to be all right, because Syncere done already said that he’s going to take care of the niggas who did this to y’all.”
“Look, Nikki, I don’t need that heat,” I told her and when I said it, it seemed like I was talking in slow motion.
“I know you don’t, Kira. But it’s out of my hands.”
“Okay, it’s out of your hands now. But what you think them niggas gon’ do to me after they find out I’m still alive?”
“Yeah, Nikki, that’s a good question,” Rhonda said.
“They ain’t gon’ do nothing to you,” Nikki began explaining. “Cause as soon as you get out of here, you’re coming to my house until all of this shit blows over.”
“And how long do you think it’s going to take for that to happen? I mean, I do want to go on with my life,” I asked her because I needed some answers.
“Hopefully soon,” was all she could tell me because she didn’t have the slightest clue nor did she know how serious this shit was going to get. She’s green as hell when it comes to the streets. So why the hell is she standing ’round here like she’s a trooper suited up and ready to go to war? But it’s all good, I guess.
“Does Syncere know who shot us?” I asked Nikki.
“Well, after I told him the comments you said the guys made when they were taking Mark’s jewelry, he said ‘a’ight’ in a way like he knew who to go to.”
“But, you’re not sure?”
“Come on, Kira, you know a nigga like him ain’t going to come out and tell his girlfriend who he’s planning to get killed. All he said was that those niggas are going to pay. And that’s it.”
“Well, I don’t want to know shit!” Rhonda interjected. “I’ve got enough problems of my own already.”
Listening to Rhonda’s comment made me realize that she’s right. Who wants to know what’s about to happen to those bastards that shot me and killed Mark? And as bad as I want to know who they are for my own safety, I’m just going to do the next best thing and that means remove myself from that scene. It would be the easiest method to get out of harm’s way. I mean, I’ve already lost Mark, and then my baby. So the only other person left to go would be me. But I’m not ready to leave. I’ve got a lot of shit on this earth to do. And when I do it, I’m going to do it for my baby and Mark both.
“Want some more water?” Rhonda asked me.
“No, I’m okay,” I told her and then I closed my eyes so I could reflect on my life and what’s about to come.
***
The next morning two Virginia Beach homicide detectives stopped by my room to ask me some questions. However, I really didn’t have the answers they were looking for, so the visit with them didn’t last long at all. They did leave me their cards for just-in-case purposes.
Now my visit from Nikki didn’t come until later around 5 p.m. Before she graced me with her presence, I got a surprise phone call from Ricky and some anonymous person, allowing him to use the anonymous person’s three-way. And fortunately for that person, he remained quiet the entire conversation.
“Hey, I just heard about what happened. Are you a’ight?” Ricky asked in a concerned manner.
“No, I’m not. But I will be,” I assured him.
“So, what is the doctor saying?”
“He said that I’m going to be all right if I relaxed and took it easy. But I did lose a lot of blood.”
“So when is he letting you get out of there?”
“Between today and tomorrow.”
“Who was that nigga you was with when them cats rolled up on y’all?”
“His name was Mark. Why?”
“I’m just asking, that’s all.”
“Well, what’s the next question? Was I fucking him?”
“Were you?”
“Yeah, I was,” I boldly said. And I thought Ricky was going to go off on me, but he didn’t.
“Well, then, I’m sorry ’bout your loss.”
“Yeah, whatever,” I said, ’cause I know he was just putting on an act.
“Did the police come up there and talk to you?”
“Yeah. They just left.”
“So, what they say?”
“They didn’t say shit. All they wanted to know was how everything happened. So I told them what I could.”
“Did you tell them who did it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know,” I began to explain. “They were wearing masks, so I didn’t see their faces.”
“You know I heard that nigga was robbing cats and that’s why he got smoked.”
“Who told you that dumb ass shit? ’Cause whoever said it don’t know shit about him!”
“And you do?”
“Yes, I do. So don’t call me with that mess.”
“Look, all I’m doing is telling you what I heard from a couple of niggas in here.”
“Well, them niggas in there don’t know what the hell they talking about.”
“So, do you know why they ran up on y’all?”
“No, I don’t. But I do know that it wasn’t about him robbing somebody.”
“Well, what is his people’s saying?”
“I don’t know because I haven’t talked to anybody,” I lied.
“So ain’t nobody been up there to holler at you?”
“No.”
“Goddamn! What kind of peoples was that nigga fucking with? Shit, for all you know, them niggas could’ve gotten him popped,” Ricky commented, but I didn’t feed into his shenanigans. I know he’s trying to pull information out of me. But I ain’t biting. So I ignored his question. And when he realized what I was doing, he said, “Ay, Kira, you a’ight?”
“No. I’m not all right. So stop asking me that.”
“Well, what are they feeding you in there?”
“They been giving me chicken broth.”
“So, who gon’ pick you up when it’s time for you to leave?”
“Rhonda is. Why?”
“I just asked.”
“Well, who’s gon’ pick you up when it’s time for you to leave?” I came back on him. Because I know he was waiting on me to say Nikki’s name, which would have made his skin crawl. But I played it safe and used somebody else’s name who was also close to me.
“Hopefully you,” he finally replied, catching on to my sarcasm.
“Nah, brother, you better get one of your hoes to do that.”