I'm Your Man (41 page)

Violet and I looked at each other and said simultaneously, “No.”

Daniel shook his head, and Violet said, “I need to go home if I'm going to get to the office in the morning. And you should, too,” she said, poking my shoulder. “Daniel, it was nice to see you again.”

“You, too, Violet,” he said.

As she walked away, she hesitated, then walked back to Daniel and said, “Before I go, I've wanted to tell you something. A long time ago, after the Pride Parade, I was at the pier dance and you—well, Princess 2Di4—gave this wonderful speech about what pride meant to you and how important our families are to us.”

“Violet, please don't say it was ‘a long time ago,' pumpkin,” Daniel said. Running his fingers over his face, he turned to me and asked, “Are my wrinkles showing?”

“Yes,” I insisted.

“What I mean to say,” Violet went on, “is that I loved Princess 2Di4, and she gave me a lot of courage to become the person I am today.” Violet leaned forward and kissed Daniel on the cheek. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

“You're welcome,” he said, before she smiled at him, waved at me, and left us standing there. Daniel bit his bottom lip as he watched her leave. I could tell he was trying not to cry.

“She's amazing,” he said.

“You're amazing,” I said.

Daniel composed himself, took my hand and said, “Yeah, well, smile for the cameras, darling. We're leaving.”

Since the night hadn't gone too badly, I was tempted to prolong it. Once we were in our cab, however, Daniel practically hugged the door opposite me, and I bit off whatever suggestion I'd been about to make. By the time I reached my apartment, I could tell it would be a Sominex night. Not that I ever took anything like that. I preferred to stare miserably at the clock while it ticked away the possibility of sleep.

“Welcome home,” Gavin said, after I shut the door behind me.

“How did you know?” I asked, looking around. Gavin's massage table was set up, the top sheet pulled back invitingly. The air smelled of rosemary, chamomile, and lavender. Ambient music played softly in the background, and the only light came from dozens of votive candles flickering throughout the room.

“Violet called. She thought this might be a good idea.”

“She was right. I'll be ready in a minute.” I went to my room and undressed, wrapping a towel around my waist. When I came back, Gavin was washing his hands in the kitchen, so I removed the towel, lay facedown on the massage table, and started doing the deep breathing he'd taught me.

Once Gavin started the massage, I shut out Daniel by thinking about Violet. Although she hadn't been reproachful, it bothered me how little I knew about her life. Or Gavin's, for that matter. I turned my head and asked, “What do you do in your spare time? Do you date? Do I give you enough time off to have a life?”

“Facedown,” Gavin commanded. “I can't get into those muscles when you're all twisted around.” I did as I was told, and he went on. “I'm not dating anyone right now. By choice. I go out for dinner and drinks, or to see shows and movies, with old friends. I have no complaints.”

I was quiet until he had me turn over, then I said, “Since you and Violet have been acquaintances for a long time, I guess you knew her secret. Was she afraid of telling me because I'm an intolerant pig?”

“No! The day we looked at apartments, you left us to meet someone, and Violet and I had dinner to talk things over. How we both fit into your life. How we could work together. She told me that she loved working for you because you're not a ‘supposed to' person.”

“What does that mean?”

“Some people do things because they know they're supposed to. Flowers on Secretary's Day. Lunch or dinner on a birthday. Violet told me that you don't operate on that level. You act from impulses of gratitude or generosity.”

“Sometimes I act that way as a means of persuasion,” I said.

“So what? At least you're honest about what you're doing. Anyway, Violet said she didn't tell you up front because she didn't know you, and she'd been burned by a few people when she was honest. By the time she understood you better, she knew it wouldn't matter. If you found out, you'd be okay with it. Not because you're
supposed to,
but because it was irrelevant. She was right, wasn't she? It is irrelevant.”

“She's always right,” I said, and closed my eyes. After a couple of minutes, I opened them, looked at him, and said, “What about you? Are you going to spring any secrets on me? Manservant by day, suave cat burglar by night?”

“My life is an open book,” Gavin said. “Stop talking and practice your breathing.”

Whatever détente Daniel and I had reached at the BATS party had apparently dissolved by our next outing together. The following Wednesday we were slated to appear at a gala hosted by
Ultimate Magazine.
Wearing a new Armani tuxedo and trying to remain optimistic, I greeted Daniel on his stoop with the brightest smile I could muster. My smile quickly faded when he said, “Hi. I thought you'd be wearing your beaded ball gown tonight.”

“I don't get it,” I said.

Daniel handed me a newspaper clipping as his front door shut behind him. My eyes were drawn immediately to a photo to the left of Lola Listeria's column. It was a picture of a blond girl holding a guitar.

“Isn't that the girl from
Family Ties
?” I asked. “What was her name?”

“Tina Yothers. Look a little closer,” Daniel urged.

“Christ on a cracker. It's you,” I said.

“I don't know where Lola got that,” Daniel said. “Or how. ‘The Tina Yothers Comeback Special' only ran at Club Chaos a few times. And it was never publicized.”

“The Tina Yothers what? Never mind. I just hope it wasn't Andy who sold the picture to Lola,” I said, thinking about Daniel's love-hate relationship with his former employer.

“No,” Daniel protested. “Andy may be a lot of things, but he'd never do that. Besides, I called him and did a lot of yelling just to be sure, and he swore he didn't. I believe him. He reminded me that ‘The Tina Yothers Comeback Special' happened before I officially worked for Club Chaos. Andy hardly liked me enough then to want to hang on to any keepsakes of the moment. Some queen must've cleaned out his closet, found the picture, and figured he could make a few bucks from it.”

“Martin,” I said vehemently.

“Jesus Christ, Blaine! Martin is my friend. Why would he sell that picture to Lola? I didn't even know him at that time. Besides, what would he have to gain from this? Nothing!” Daniel yelled.

“That's true,” I said. “I mean, if it would hurt me in some way, he might. But this is about you.”

“Well . . .” Daniel said, trailing off and looking nervous.

“Oh, fuck,” I said and scanned the article. There was only one section about us, which was adjacent to the photo of Daniel impersonating Tina Yothers. I read it aloud. “ ‘Oh, that Daniel Stephenson! What a ham! Lola dragged—get it?—this alluring photo of our favorite daytime devil from the archives. That's right, readers. Our soap stud wore drag duds in a show called ‘The Tina Yothers Comeback Special.' Lola wonders why that's not on the
Secret Splendor
star's résumé? Sha la la laaaa! Lola also wonders if Daniel Stephenson's boyfriend, Lillith Allure's Creative Director, Blaine Dunhill, knows about this? Does Blaine dress up like Justine Bateman or Meredith Baxter? Our boys have been appearing at every event in the city, proclaiming that they're just a normal couple like everyone else. If dressing up like Tina Yothers is normal, Lola's catching the next bus back home to Boise . . . Speaking of freaky, guess what Lola heard about a certain not so innocent . . .' ” I stopped reading and gritted my teeth to keep from screaming.

“Go on. I didn't read that part. What does she say about Britney?” Daniel asked. I grimaced at him and he said, “Never mind. Look, it's not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” I bellowed. “Now people are going to think we sit around in petticoats drinking tea.”

“That's ridiculous,” Daniel said. “Nobody wears petticoats anymore. Maybe a nice Chanel suit.”

“Sure, Daniel. Make jokes,” I said.

“What else can I do?” Daniel said, his voice growing louder. “Nothing! It's a gossip column. Nobody takes Lola seriously. A few months ago, she thought I was trying to break up Sheila and Josh. Was that true? No. Everyone knows they're married and very together. Maybe people will think this is more of her moronic ramblings.”

“Illustrated with a picture,” I reminded him.

“You can't handle another reminder that I used to perform in drag,” Daniel huffed.

“No. You're wrong,” I protested. “What pisses me off is that she's setting us back to square one. We've spent weeks doing all this work to make people think we're a normal gay couple, and now it's all for naught.”

“Normal,” Daniel scoffed. “I guess you blame me, as usual. Once again, I can't live up to your idea of respectability. Anyway, her column is old news. I was truthful about my past as a female impersonator in
Us.
Nobody cares.”

“Oh, forget it. Let's just go to this stupid function and pretend like we never saw this.” Trying to lighten the mood, I looked at Daniel's tux, obviously new and created by some designer I'd never heard of, and said, “Is that what you're wearing?”

Daniel looked horrified for a moment, then rolled his eyes and followed me to the car that was waiting by the curb.

Ultimate Magazine
was celebrating five years in the publishing business by throwing a gala dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. Not only was the magazine celebrating its success, but tickets to the party were sold to benefit People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. When we arrived, the hotel's opulent ballroom was crowded with formally attired magazine staff, society's elite, celebrities, and their pets.

“This is like
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
meets Noah's ark,” Daniel said.

“I should've brought Dexter.”

“He's better off at home,” Daniel said. “The society pets would all laugh at the state of his fur coat.”

“Don't say ‘fur coat' so loud,” I joked. “Chrissie Hynde might kick our ass.”

“I love Chrissie Hynde. I used to impers—she can kick my ass anytime she wants to,” Daniel said.

Josh and Sheila spotted us from across the room and rushed over to greet us. “You look so familiar,” Sheila said, pretending to study my face. “I know we've met.”

“Very funny,” I said. “I know I've been busy lately. But I'm not the one jetting back and forth across the country.”

“I take it you saw our red carpet encounter in L.A.,” Josh said.

“You mean the one where Sheila, who never makes a scene—”

“The upside is that the media's avoided me ever since,” Sheila said, cutting me off. “A little embarrassment works wonders. You two should try it next time you're in a pinch.”

“We're trying to create a positive image,” I reminded her. “What were you doing in L.A.?”

“Sheila was invited to that movie premiere. I was on assignment. Our next issue is entirely devoted to PETA. I was taking pictures of celebrities and their pets,” Josh explained. “I spent an entire afternoon at Pamela Anderson's house. She's practically running her own zoo.”

“I thought you might be there auditioning for a movie,” Daniel said to Sheila.

Sheila replied, “Nope. I was just along for the ride. The dutiful wife follows her man. One big happy family. Hey. Speaking of families, how's Gretchen doing?”

Josh placed a cautionary hand on her shoulder, but it was too late. Sheila's gaffe had done its damage, which was evident when I winced and Daniel turned scarlet.

“Oh, shit,” Sheila said helplessly. “I'm sorry. I thought maybe you two had—”

“Worked that out? No. Not so much,” Daniel said, interrupting her.

“That would be forbidden topic number—what are we up to now? Twenty? I can't keep track,” I said, glaring at Daniel.

“Guys, bring it down,” Josh said, keeping his voice low. “I don't think this is the time or place to—”

“Be honest for once?” Daniel said. “Is that what you want, Blaine?”

“Josh is right, Daniel. Let's save this for later and put our party faces back on,” I said, smiling to emphasize my point.

“Oh, look. It's Tina Yothers. I can tell her I just made a movie with her mother,” Daniel said and walked away.

“I'm gonna go . . .” Sheila said, her voice trailing off as she followed Daniel.

“What the hell just happened?” Josh asked.

“It's like this every time we get together,” I said. “We fight, the insults start flying, and we're horrible to each other.”

“Defense mechanism,” Josh said and patted my shoulder. “Hang in there. You guys are doing fine.”

“I hope Sheila can calm him down,” I said. “I can't believe she mentioned Gretchen in front of him.”

“They'll make up. They always do,” Josh said. “I hate to leave you, Blaine, but I have to find my editors and schmooze. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “At least Daniel and I are no longer avoiding the fights we should have had months ago. It's just not doing much for his mood.”

“When I shoot the Narcissus pictures for Deity, I'll see what I can do to lift his spirits,” Josh offered.