Impending Reprisals (23 page)

Chapter 31

Anya was grateful when the carriage finally came to a stop at their destination. The ride had been a bit awkward—full of questioning glances and reassuring smiles, light conversation and uneasy silences. Two people on the mend should not spend a half day of travel trapped together in an enclosed carriage, especially with so much left unspoken between them.

One could almost feel the built up tension drain out of the cabin when the driver came around to open the door. Anya took his hand as she stepped down. She wandered toward the horses as Merivic discussed something at length with the two men accompanying them.

Looking around, she saw the path she stood on was narrow and shadowed, enclosed on either side by a thick forest and covered by a high canopy of leaves.

Not much of a place for a picnic, she thought sourly, running her palm against the horse’s flank as she walked by.

“Anya.” Merivic strode toward her, heaving a large satchel over his shoulder. Strapped to his waist was his swordbelt, the hilt of his jeweled weapon sparkling at his side.

“You are bringing your sword?”

“The guard will stay behind with the driver.” He patted the scabbard. “I wish to be prepared for any eventuality.”

Nodding, she glanced around.

“This way.” He gestured to the barely-visible break in the brush. “I will go first to clear the way, but the trail opens up before long and it tends to stay fairly clear of any growth.”

“Do you come out here often?” Anya asked as she followed close.

“Not recently. But I used to come out here quite often in the past. It is a nice quiet place to escape from the chaos of the kingdom.” Holding a branch aside he glanced back at her. “I believe you will become quite fond of it yourself.”

“I am sure I will,” she stated politely, though doubtfully, as she looked around.

They walked a bit further, an awkward silence falling around them again. Anya sighed as her mind drifted. She wished the tension would fade between them. She wanted to be comfortable and carefree as she had once been in his presence, but she did not know how to reclaim that—or if she even could.

“We are here,” Merivic announced, a wide smile flashing across his face.

She glanced to the opening of the cave at the end of the path, then arched a questioning brow.

“It is a doorway, if you will.” He held out his hand. “Come.” Linking fingers, he pulled her inside and around a small curve in the wall. “You ready?”

Anya nodded, her curiosity piqued.

Tucking his arm into a wall of vines, he parted them as one would pull back a curtain, and Anya was briefly blinded by a brilliant light. “Your eyes will adjust quickly,” he promised, tugging her along.

Squinting, she peered around and inhaled sharply. He was right. He was absolutely right as to what her reaction would be to this place. Although ‘fond’ did not quite label it correctly—she loved it.

The sun was bright and warming—that was the first thing she noticed as she gazed around the clearing. The brilliant flowers were the next thing that caught her attention—a myriad of colors splashed carelessly about by nature.

“I will set up our picnic.” Merivic released her hand as he spoke. “Please, have a look around. There is much to see.”

Anya was delighted to wander around the clearing, examining and discovering everything the setting had to offer. And, of course, reveling in the gracious sunlight. So enraptured by it all, she had to hide her disappointment when Merivic finally called her over for lunch.

While they ate, the discussion inevitably turned toward their glorious surroundings, and how Merivic had stumbled upon it while hunting. So struck was he by the beauty of this place, he told Anya, he only came here to think—never to hunt or pick the vegetation. He always wished this place to remain as unmarred as it had been since the day he discovered it. His words struck Anya as true, and she felt a measure of admiration for the man he was portraying himself to be.

As they ate their food and drank their wine, Merivic noticed Anya begin to feel more relaxed and open toward him. Now, whether or not that was due to the potion Malik had slipped into the wine, one cannot truly know, for perhaps she would have become more at ease merely through their time together, and the spectacular setting.

The potion itself was not a potent one, but it was just enough to guide Anya along her current desires. If she
wanted
to feel closer to Merivic, then the potion would encourage those feelings naturally within her. However, if she did not want to feel close, then she would be even more distant, possibly even repulsed, by Merivic. The key to the concoction was that it amplified her own, true desires and, therefore, did not technically affect her free will. And Merivic was instructed well as to how to use it to his advantage before they left the castle.

Due to the nature of the potion, Merivic took the necessary precautions in instructing Kaelestis to stay behind. Until Merivic regained his hold on Anya’s heart and mind, she could not be under the influence of this potion around the weapons master—who knew how she would react.

As the conversation moved along, Anya moved closer to him—little by little, small adjustments in her position here and there, until she was beside him. While she crept closer, Merivic kept her entertained and distracted with stories of his prior visits to this land, and of the mystical creatures he had spotted while exploring it. And Anya listened, focused on Merivic and giving him her undivided attention. When she smiled, she locked eyes with him. When she laughed, she rested her hand on his arm. And through it all, she appeared more drawn to him.

Merivic gazed at the adoration in Anya’s eyes and felt a powerful wave of triumph.

Malik is a miracle worker, he pondered slyly. Never would I have thought this possible, and certainly not without affecting her free will. And, yet, here it is.

Merivic knew the singular power of the potion was meager, but he also knew the charismatic personality he had perfected over time would naturally heighten the effects. “I want you to come with me, Anya. There is something you must see.”

Her lips curved as she took his hand and stood. “What is it?”

“A surprise.” He grinned as he led her toward an outcropping of boulders. “You will be amazed. It is truly beautiful.”

“More beautiful than this?”

“You will see.”

As they came around to the other side of the outcropping, Merivic watched her expression turn into astonishment. Speechless, Anya could only stare and smile.

The beauty of the land was the same, but was exemplified by a serene body of water glistening in the sunlight, sparkles of color flashing on the surface as the small ripples caught various reflections. It looked like a sea of jewels, stunning and priceless.

Anya was so moved by the setting that she leaned in to kiss Merivic in gratitude, but he moved away. “You do not want to kiss me?”

“You cannot possibly know how much I desire it,” he admitted sheepishly, tracing the contour of her lips with his finger. “But are you truly ready for that?”

“It is just a kiss.”

He nodded absently as he looked away. Anya, frustrated and confused, studied him for a moment before easing away and walking to the water’s edge.

Merivic did his own survey of her as she stood with her back to him. He wanted her anxious and off balance. He wanted her to react to him only, to have to
continually
react, because then she would not have time to think straight and act directly. He could control her responses a lot better than he could guide her free will.

Merivic approached her from behind and put his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back against him. “I apologize, Anya, if I am frustrating you. I simply want to be sure I do not rush you in any way. It is my belief that a kiss between two people can be even more intimate than two bodies coming together.”

“Mer—”

“Shhh.” He ran his hands down her arms to grab her hips. “Let me finish, love.” His tongue trailed torturously slow down the length of her neck, and her breath caught. “You see. A mouth, a tongue, can elicit a much greater response than a simple touch of a hand. Do you believe if my fingers trailed across your neck as my mouth is, your breath would quicken as it is now?” His hands ran up her sides as he ravaged her throat. “Let me put it another way.”

He took her breasts in his hands, firmly caressing them and scraping his thumbs over her nipples through the fabric. Anya arched in response. “What would be more intimate now? My hands on your lovely breasts, or my mouth—hot, warm, and eager to taste you?”

She moaned her reply as her thoughts scattered, taking all reason with them.

“What was that, my dear, precious Anya?” He whispered the words lazily, breathlessly, in her ear.

“I…”

“Hmm. You do not know if you agree? Another demonstration, perhaps, to provide more clarity to my beliefs.” A hand snaked lower, moving down her leg before slipping under her dress. Gathering the fabric as his hand traveled up, it came to a stop between her thighs. He dragged his teeth across her shoulder as he tugged down her undergarment. And then his fingers found her.

She gasped from the contact and arched again, pressing her breast firmly into his other hand.

“So, I ask again. What would be more intimate? My fingers” —he stroked them faster to illustrate his point—“or my mouth.” It enclosed, hot and urgent, on her neck.

Her heart was thundering, sensations pumping throughout her body. She was not ready for this with him, but she wanted it. Oh, how she wanted it now.

His expert fingers raced over her, relentlessly, eagerly, until she could take no more. She released with a breathless gasp, her hips bucking and squirming with the pleasure he brought her.

Spent, she dropped her head back on his shoulder and then rolled into his arms, chest-to-chest. With her breath sobbing, she held him tight, more so to hold herself up than for any sense of closeness.

“Alright,” Merivic murmured against her hair. “Perhaps I could be mistaken as to the level of intimacy and pleasure that can be brought from a hand as opposed to a mouth.” She pulled back to gaze at the humor in his eyes. “But I think not. No, my mouth on you would have taken you deeper.”

Her eyes widened slightly with the images now flashing in her mind.

Merivic rubbed her arms lightly as he stepped back a pace and cleared his throat. “So you see my argument? My hesitation? A kiss could be more intimate than what you are truly ready for.” He arched a brow as he smiled easily, mischievously. “And I do not want to rush you, my love.”

Merivic brushed a kiss on Anya’s forehead before walking away, leaving her gaping at his back.

Oh, yes, he thought, wickedly. She will bend to my wishes before long, and will certainly crave my mouth on hers by the end of this day. Of that, I do not doubt.

He chuckled softly.

Humans, he silently declared, they are so weak. And utterly predictable.

Chapter 32

The ride back to the castle was nearly as silent as the journey to the meadow, though for different reasons to be sure. Anya was leaned into Merivic, buried in his arms and lost in her thoughts. Such guilt she was weighted down with, she feared it would surely crush her. She felt guilt for what happened by the water’s edge, feeling as if she had betrayed Kael. But then she felt guilt for thinking that when, in essence, the thought itself betrayed Merivic. And, finally, she felt guilt for not confessing to Merivic, for not admitting her true betrayal.

Treachery and shame, deception and remorse. The brutal emotions warred within her, escalating until she felt ill.

He was right, she thought. I was not ready for kissing, nor was I ready for what had happened. But it
did
happen, and in the moment, it felt right—comfortable, easy. So why did it feel so wrong now? Why, when I want so much to be close to him, does it need to be so hard? Why can it not be like it was before?

Desperately wanting to salvage what they once had, she glanced up at Merivic. The sight of him immediately calmed her as he smiled warmly, and brushed his fingertips along her jaw. Somehow the weight of her thoughts faded away and was replaced with a deep urge to be close to him.

I cannot tell him what I have done, she decided. I have to trust that he would forgive me as I forgave him. Do we not deserve each other when we both have deceit inside us? We have both cheated. Does that not leave us on even ground? To start anew?

She chose to believe her ponderings as a foundation to build on. She
must
believe them if she was to go forward with the man looking down at her, just staring at her, with a curve to his lips and love in his eyes.

Look at her watching me, Merivic thought, smugly. She is lost in me. Surrendering to my gaze, melting into my arms.

Knowing Malik’s potion would only last this day, and no other, he took advantage of the moment. With a gentle squeeze, he drew her near, bringing his face close. Her sweet breath whispered against his mouth, but he did not close the distance. Her eyes darted to his lips, but he remained still.

She will come to me, Merivic boldly decided. Of course, she will come to me. She cannot resist.

And she could not.

With a pressing, unexpected need, Anya eased forward, watching as she leaned toward Merivic, studying his reaction and how she was being received. He did not move, neither toward her nor away, and she realized he would not.

He will wait for me to come to him, she thought numbly, absently, for he does not want to rush me. I must kiss him. I have to kiss him. I need to kiss him.

Without questioning what whispered through her mind, she fused her mouth to his, hot with urgency and delicious with need. Tilting his head, he took her in, brought her deeper, and held her there.

Victory, Merivic mused as his hands roamed, could not be sweeter. Of that, he was certain.

*****

Kael was changing out of his clothes, muddied by his patrol in the damp woods, when he heard Anya’s laughter ring out from the hall.

Scowling, his mind shot to the conversation he had with Merivic before the couple had left for their picnic.

“
Quality time with my betrothed
,” he grumbled aloud, quoting the lord. And then silently remembered the rest.
Catch up on the time we have missed together. Be alone to become close again, if you know my meaning
, he had added with a wink.

All right, he commanded himself, attempting to control his building fury. They are to be married. Of course they would be intimate together. One night with her does not give me the right to stake a claim. If those where the rules, then Anya was Merivic’s long before she came to this castle.

There was no doubt in his mind that two people on their way to marital bliss would have long since sealed the intimate bond between them—exploring each other physically as they came together in love.

Still, Kael thought bitterly, it pisses me off that he had her first. So many years in Liberwood had I waited for her… He scrubbed his hands over his face. I have to stop. She is not mine to have. And, apparently, never truly was.

When he could no longer hear their voices in the hall, and became certain they had gone, Kael whipped open his door, startling the couple kissing in the hall.

He kept the grimace off his face. “Lord Merivic. Lady Anya.”

“Oh. Kaelestis.” Merivic stated in surprise, attempting to keep his own expression of contempt contained. He held Anya close, his hand low on her hip to assist the potion in reminding her where her desires laid only moments ago. “I thought you were to be on patrol.”

“I have completed my rounds, Sire. I trust you enjoyed your picnic.” Anya flushed and averted her eyes, causing disgust to prickle up Kael’s spine.

“We certainly did,” Merivic responded with a smirk. “May I assume preparations for dinner are under way?”

“They are.”

“Wonderful. Check the progress at once and report back to me in my quarters.”

“What preparations?” Anya asked, glancing between the two men flanking her.

Kael locked eyes with her, holding her gaze, but did not respond.

“It is a surprise, my love,” Merivic murmured as he turned her head, kissing her cheek as he brought her attention back to him.

She smiled as she focused on Merivic. “Well, you certainly are full of them today.” Her arms came around his neck.

With a dismissive wave, Merivic spoke to Kael with barely a glance. “You may go, Kaelestis.” 

Kael nodded a brief bow and stalked away.

Merivic nuzzled Anya’s neck as he hugged her. “I will send Lenna up shortly to attend to your needs. Dinner, I expect, will not be quite ready yet, so you have time to bathe and pamper yourself—whatever it is you do to always look so lovely, so beautiful.”

She giggled as she pulled back. “So…what is my surprise?”

“Be patient, my love. With me, there will always be surprises in store for you.” His eyes flashed with amusement as he kissed the end of her nose. “You must learn patience.”

*****

Staring up at the stars above, Anya set her wine glass down with a contented sigh.

“You are pleased with dinner?” Merivic asked, although it was obvious from her reactions all night that she was enjoying herself very much.

“It is perfect.” Smiling warmly across the small table, she laid her hand upon his. “I cannot believe how quickly you brought it all together.”

He lifted her hand and kissed it. “I would do anything for you, my precious Anya. Anything.”

With a tilt of her head, she gestured toward the balcony wall, indicating she would like him to join her there, and then walked to the ledge to look down at the garden as he eased in next to her.

Slipping a hand around her waist, he pulled her close, leaning his head comfortably against the top of hers. “Is the music to your liking?”

She chuckled softly, as she glanced toward the glass doors far below that led into the great hall. “How could I not? A full orchestra? I would not have thought one would consist of so many people and instruments. I am surprised they all fit in one room, no matter how big it is to begin with.”

“I must admit, it is an impressive sight. Even more so was your expression when you first saw them. Not to mention when you first heard them play.”

“I have never heard anything like it,” she admitted. “An elaborate gown, dinner on the balcony overlooking the gardens, full orchestra playing for us alone. You are aware, I could get used to this.”

He laughed as he released her. “As well you could, and should. Anything you could possibly want is yours. All you must do is simply ask it of me.” And then beg, he silently added. “Anya, my love?”

“Yes?”

“Would you dance with me?”

“Of course.” She turned to him, but he only took her hand.

“Not here. Down in the garden.”

“Certainly. But will it not be difficult to get through the great hall with all those people in there?”

“There is no need. There is a stairway just over here.”

Merivic walked to the far end of the balcony where it met the castle wall, and then suddenly disappeared from sight. Gasping, Anya rushed to where he had been just as his head reappeared, peeking from around a strategically-placed wall.

The deceptive angle of the wall hid the existence of the stairway behind it. To the casual observer the wall appeared to be a part of the castle, but a closer inspection revealed the cleverly-shrouded narrow opening.

Merivic grinned at her as he ducked around the wall again, and she followed him into the garden where he took her into his arms.

Swaying to the music, Anya laid her head upon his shoulder and snuggled up against him. She closed her eyes as he held her tight, listening to the soothing sounds of the instruments.

This feels right, she decided with a sigh. Safe. Comfortable. As it should be. But, then again, not. There is something…

Anya’s eyes snapped open as she lifted her head and came cheek-to-cheek with Merivic. She stared over his shoulder to the garden behind him, but saw nothing to cause the squeeze in her chest.

Something was amiss.

Then she felt a pull, a light tug at her heart as her eyes followed the direction to the balcony. It took a moment for her to understand that it was a man standing in the shadows above them, nearly blending into his surroundings. But not just any man—it was Kael.

As quickly as she registered his presence, he turned and left, leaving her with a sense of defeat. But what was she to do? She knew, deep down, she would always want Kael. But he does not want her. Or, if he did, he would not act on it. If there was a way to lure him in and find a way around his defenses, she certainly would. However, she knew he was far too stubborn for that. What choice does that leave her than to be with the one who does want her, forever?

I could leave, I suppose, she thought regretfully. Go back to Liberwood. But I would be leaving behind the two men I loved. If the one I truly want does not want me in return, is it wrong to be with one who does? Is it settling if I love that man as well, though not as deeply? Is it unfair to Merivic?

Her desires pulled to and fro, from the man she saw in the shadows to the one now kissing her neck.

Anya stiffened slightly as his hand slid up to cup her breast, but tried to relax as his tongue traced her collarbone. Her desires were distracted and split as she tried to focus her mind. She enjoyed Merivic’s hands on her, but she did not crave the contact, not like she did with Kael. But that understanding only affected her for a moment before something inside banked her urges back to the present.

Merivic noticed her tension, her hesitance, and incorrectly assumed it was because the potion was no longer in her system. But, he also noticed, she did not pull away from him all together. That was all he needed to double his efforts, to attempt to light the natural passion he knew resided within her. And as she softly moaned under the caress of his hands, he mistakenly believed he had won a victory over her—that she had given into her desires for him by her own free will, rather than the truth that the potion had once again flooded her senses.

Anya pressed against him, her hands beginning to explore before he suddenly pulled away from her fevered body. Instinctually she reached for him, but he retreated a step.

“Perhaps it is time to retire for the night,” he stated, slipping his hands casually into his pockets.

Her brow furrowed. “Is something the matter?”

Pleased with her reply, he squared off his shoulders. His goal was vivid in his mind, and a clear strategy formulated.

Let her focus remain on me, always on me, as she attempts to figure out my behavior, and what she could have done to cause it. I will use her natural guilt to hold her near, and her need to understand to keep her close.

It was a dangerous game to play, of that, he was sure. Though not as perilous as it would have been, if he had truly believed the potion still coursed through her veins.

“Not at all. I am simply tired, is all. It has been a long day. Would you like me to escort you to your quarters?”

Anya nodded stiffly, baffled by his distant and polite manner, but unable to find the words to properly articulate it.

He held out his arm for her to take, then cordially led her out of the garden. Without a word the entire way, he walked her to her room and only patted her hand before retreating to his own quarters.

*****

Anya lay in bed that night, fraught with a frustration that slowly built into a seething disdain, not only for Merivic, but for Kael as well. Both men consumed her thoughts, and both men soured them. Shoving each aside in her mind, she came to an inevitable impasse.

I cannot choose when I do not truly know how each feels. Kael is distant, loving, and then an ass. Merivic is loving, an ass, loving again, and then distant. Who the hell knows what they feel? If neither one wants me, then they should send me away. And I would go. Gladly!

From here on out I live in the moment, for me, and let fate and destiny war it out to decide my future. I am done choosing sides. As of now, I choose my own side!