Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (44 page)

“No, but when I was a child I pretended it was.”  Darcy beamed; any other woman would be highly offended by the embarrassing fall.  Not his Elizabeth.  He stood and taking her hands, lifted her to her feet.  “It is just a hidden door into the library.  Rumour has it that one of my ancestors facilitated a friend’s affair.  He would come to visit, and pass through the door to meet his lover who was waiting for him.” 

“No!  Oh, how awful!  How could they?  Which relative?”  She peeked into the doorway and holding his hand followed him the short distance to where he pushed on the wall, and stepped inside the beautiful room.

“You certainly are eager to hear the details of something so awful.”  He looked at her speculatively.  “Shades of your mother the gossip appearing?”

Her eyes grew wide.  “I certainly hope not!” 

“Me, as well!”  Darcy laughed and closing the door behind them looked around the room.  “I do not believe it is true, just a story to romanticize a convenience.  More likely it was my grandfather wishing for a way to get to his books without having to encounter his wife.” 

“Well, that sounds familiar.”  Elizabeth thought of her father and breathed in the scent of leather that permeated the air.  “Besides, this is hardly the place for an amorous assignation.” 

“Oh?”  He stood behind her and slipping his arms around her waist, nuzzled her ear.  “Why do you say that?”

“I . . .” She closed her eyes and leaned back into his arms.  “I forget.” 

“I missed you so much today.” He whispered warmly. 

“I missed you, too.”  They stood together swaying, and Elizabeth was more than aware of how his breathing had slowed and how wonderful it felt within his embrace.  His palms pressed against her belly and they glided down between her legs.  She relaxed and settled against him.  Darcy groaned and kissed her throat as he rubbed, and slid one hand upwards to fondle her breast.  That he was holding tenuously onto control was evident, that she was about to join him in abandoning their determined plan to behave hit her in a sudden flash of clarity, and regretfully, she tried to distract him.  “It . . . it truly was a poor excuse for a compromise.” 

Darcy opened his eyes.  “Pardon?”  A small smile played on Elizabeth’s lips; she had succeeded at least in drawing his attention.  Darcy nibbled her ear and continued his gentle ministrations.  “What was a poor excuse for a compromise?”

“Your kissing me in the library.”  

The haze cleared a little more.  “What was wrong with it?”

“Really Fitzwilliam, what woman would accept that a simple kiss would be enough to force her to marry?  If that were the case, then every young boy who steals a kiss would be married before he was fifteen.”

“What are you telling me, my wife?”  He looked around to see her face.  “Are you implying that . . . what are you implying?”

“That I knew when you kissed me you were everything I had imagined when I first saw you.”  She smiled to see his surprise.  “What you labelled a compromise was proof positive that you were a very good man.”

Smiling, he spoke sternly.  “Explain yourself, Mrs. Darcy.” 

“A good man would kiss me with care, because he was in fact kissing the one he wanted.”

“Ah, so you think that you have me all puzzled out, do you?  You think that I could not help myself, and showed my true colours with my . . . poor excuse for a compromise?”

“I do.”

“I see.”  Darcy smiled and looked out of the window, but increased the strength of his hold around her waist. 

“Have you no rebuttal?”

“No, you are convinced of your supposition, who am I to spoil your conclusions?”

“Sir!”

“Ah, ah . . .”

“Fitzwilliam!”

“Elizabeth, you forget that I thought you cared for me already.  So when I kissed you, I was sure that you would say yes.  Clearly, I was correct.  That I did not act as a cad is merely proof that I am a gentleman, even when compromising a lady.”  He turned her around and kissed her lips, and laughed to see her utter rejection of his declaration.  “I
am
a cad?”  Her head shook and he whispered warmly in her ear.  “Do you wish me to be?”  Elizabeth became very still and Darcy’s heart leapt.  Hugging her tightly, he smiled widely.  “Now, tell me . . . what were your very first thoughts of me?”

“I already told you.”

“I want to hear it again.”  He laughed softly when her eyes looked heavenward.  “Not because my ego is so needy as I am sure you suppose.  I have been thinking over your words a great deal, lying awake at night, wanting you so very badly.”  His breath was sweet and the touch of his tongue on her lips was so warm.  “You said that you mourned what would never be.”

“I did?”  She whispered as he kissed her again.

Darcy’s fingers caressed over her hair and he gazed at her, his longing was unhidden and it sent a parade of shivers down her spine.  Slipping his hand behind her neck, he supported her head while their mouths engaged in soft, open kisses.  Darcy’s tongue tasted hers and they slid together, now kissing hungrily.  He drew away, groaned at the sight of her darkening eyes, and caressed both hands down her waist, pulling her hips against his groin.  “I have tried so hard not to touch you this week; I find it is becoming impossible.  I need to touch, dearest, without the nightdress; I need to feel your skin on mine again, like our first night.  Do you need me?”

“Yesss.”  She breathed.  “Fitzwilliam . . .” 

Her eyes opened wide when he leaned and cupping her bottom, lifted her up and steadied her against the bookshelf.  Elizabeth clung to him, her skirt was bunched around her waist, her legs wrapped around his hips, and she could feel his length pressed against her.  Darcy carefully adjusted his hold, caressing his palm down one leg, kissing her deeply as his fingers strayed over her bottom and found the warmth and wetness he craved.  Groaning in her mouth, he rubbed his arousal against her.  Even through the fall of his breeches, he could sense how ready she was.    Elizabeth’s breathing became shallow and their kisses deeper, their tongues doing what they denied their bodies.  His head dropped and he whispered softly how he wanted her, then began suckling her neck while continuing his touches below.  Elizabeth’s head fell back, exposing more skin for him to taste, and she gasped when his tongue traced down her throat and to her breasts.  Darcy pressed his nose to the valley and breathed in. 

“Oh Lord . . .” 

Now his tongue tenderly tasted the exquisite softness.  It was either open his breeches and consummate their marriage then, or withdraw.  Elizabeth’s tongue glided down his throat and she gently suckled his pounding pulse. 

“You do not make this easy, love.  You learn so quickly.”  Darcy gasped and whispered as their eyes met and they found each other’s mouths again. 

Elizabeth’s hands ran through his hair and she tore her mouth away from his, returning to his throat.  Fighting for control, he laid his head on her shoulder, and away from her dangerous lips. Together they watched his palm drawing circles over her breast, his arousal jumping when he squeezed her incredibly hardened nipple and she gasped and begged for more.  He answered with a muttered promise to one day make her cry out for him.  Again their eyes met, and he slowly lowered her to the floor. 

“I love you.”  He whispered.

“I love you.” 

Darcy caressed her face and lifted her jaw, and they kissed, slowly, deeply, clinging together as closely as they could. 

“Elizabeth?”

“Hmm?”  Her eyes were closed.

He rubbed his hands up and down her back and kissed her hair while she snuggled deeper against him.  “Are you still thinking of a solution?  I pray you are.”

“I am, but whenever I think I have found one, it fails in some way.”  She felt his nod.  “What are you feeling?”

“I am feeling . . .” He sighed and let go.  “That we should stop tempting each other.  I am sorry.”

“I could not wait for you to come home.”  She caressed his hair back from his forehead; his smile was heartbreakingly happy.  Blushing, she hugged him tightly.  “So . . . a modest nightdress tonight?”

“No.”  Darcy whispered.  “Please . . .”

“But, what about losing control?”  Elizabeth looked up and could see that he was clearly wrestling with something.  “Will?  What is it?”

“Would you be offended if . . . if I wore a skin?”  He looked down as his face reddened.

“A skin?”

“Armour.”  He looked up and saw her confusion.  “Condom?”  He whispered.

“What is it?  Why would it cause offence?”  Her head tilted and her brow knit.  Truly embarrassed, Darcy kissed her hand, then swallowing; he placed her palm over his erection, and looked at her seriously.  Automatically, she started rubbing, and he closed his eyes and moaned.  “Is it something to wear here?”  He nodded helplessly and she whispered.  “Does it work?”  Darcy’s eyes opened wide and he saw her smiling at him.  “I am game if you are!”

“My God, I love you!”  Darcy threw his arms around her and hugged hard.

“Will!”  Laughing, she looked up to see him beaming down.  “My goodness!  What have I done?”

“Nothing yet, dearest.”  He kissed her.  “But tonight . . . just wait!” 

“Perhaps I should have been offended.”  She giggled as his head wagged.  They kissed and she rested against his chest.  “I would rather have us both happy.  I cannot see us going on like this for months and months.” 

“That has been on my mind as well, love.”  Letting out a long breath, he rested his cheek in her hair, and began planning their first night of lovemaking.  With his mind so occupied, he was not listening to her with complete attention, and startled when he heard the name Gardiner. 

“Shall we go?  I cannot wait to see them, you will love them, I know . . .”

“These are your relatives in Cheapside?” 

“Yes!”  Elizabeth smiled and looking down at the letter that had fallen to the floor, she missed his frown.  “She and Uncle apologize for missing the wedding and she wished to wait a week before bothering us, but Jane wrote to her that we would only be in London for another week, so she thought we had better come for dinner tomorrow.” 

“No.” 

“And Uncle will come home early, and you will meet the children . . .”

“Did you hear me, Elizabeth?  I said no.”  Darcy’s body had become stiff, and his gaze was serious.  “Mrs. Darcy does not visit in Cheapside.”

Elizabeth gaped.  “Pardon me?  This is my
family
.”

“That is all well and good, but
my
family does not visit merchants.”

“Fitzwilliam!”

“And we do not dine with them.  You may ask them to visit some morning.”

Elizabeth’s eyes flashed.  “Visit!  Only visit?  My family is not good enough to sit at the table with us and share a meal?  You deigned to eat with my parents!”

“They are your parents, and your father is a gentleman.”  Darcy spoke steadily.  “Your uncle is decidedly not.  When you married me, you came under my direction, Elizabeth.  I will not force you to end the relationship, however, I will not have any more gossip surrounding this house.  It is bad enough . . .”

“That you married me, sir?”

“I did not say that, you are not listening.  It is bad enough that my aunt does not like you . . .”

“
You
do not like
her
!  And what makes her any different from anyone else spreading rumours?  There were certainly enough at home.”

“This is London and our home.  She is gentry, she is titled, and she matters.”

“She
matters
, sir?”  Elizabeth seethed.  “Lady Catherine went out of her way to insult me.  Her daughter assured me that you were meant to marry her.  It seems to me at this moment that you belong with them!”

“I am very aware of our station, Elizabeth; you are barely acquainted with it.”  Darcy’s arms folded and his stance did not change. 

“Mr. Darcy . . .” Lowry’s cautious voice cut through the tense atmosphere.  “A messenger arrived from Judge Darcy; he wants you to come to his home immediately.  He mentioned information about a person of your mutual interest.  What shall I say?”

“Wickham?”  Darcy started.  “Tell him I will be right along.  And have the carriage readied.”  When the door shut, he looked down at the woman he loved.  “You may disagree with me now, dearest . . .”

“Do not dare to address me as dearest,
sir
.” 

He closed his eyes against her furious glare.  “I know you are angry . . .”

“Do not attempt to placate me!  You have no idea what I am feeling!  Have I rejected any member of
your
family despite their reluctance to accept me?  Have I not
married
you despite your sister’s shame and your demands?”

“Yes.”  He stepped forward.  “And I have married
you
despite your sisters, your parents, your station, your poverty . . .”  Elizabeth’s eyes welled up and he stopped.  “Two can play the game of throwing their family’s pain at each other.  I thought that you were above that.”

“You just did it to me with my supposedly horrible Cheapside relations!  Do not pretend to be superior when you are no better.”  Darcy started while she fought to maintain control of her emotions.  “I thought that you loved me.”

“I do, deeply, which is why I am protecting you with this decision.  You do not understand.” 

“Protecting me from people you have not even met!”

“As I am doing for you, I am protecting you from a world of people who have not met you.  Why do you think that none of those visitors got past the front door today?”  He looked at her seriously and watched her eyes dart in the direction of the foyer, as if she could see through the walls.  “I must go to my uncle.  We will discuss this when I return.” 

“I will have your bed turned down for you.”  Elizabeth said coldly.  “And be sure that the fire is lit in your chambers tonight.  There is no need to anticipate my choice of nightclothes, as you will not be seeing me.”

“Elizabeth . . .”  He closed his eyes.  “I will be home before very long, and we will talk when cooler heads prevail.”

“Oh, I am cool right now, sir.  You may warm yourself this evening with your . . . armour.  I suppose that I
should
have been offended.  I promise you, I certainly am now.”  Elizabeth pulled the wedding band from her finger and held it up to him.  “It is not too late to ask for an annulment, sir, if your disgust with me is so profound.”  At last abandoning control, she began to sob.  “I leave it to you to decide.”   She placed the ring on a bookshelf and ran from the room.