“Morning sugar.” I pat her head and look down.
“Daddy said you’d be here way after now.”
“I had some errands to run and thought maybe you’d like lunch.”
“Me?” she asks and points to herself. I nod. “With you?” She points at me and then looks around me. “Where’s Darby?”
“She won’t be here until later so it’ll just be you and me.” I start to feel a little uncomfortable.
I look over at the desk and Ricco smiles. “Go. Leave your poor old dad right after you left me for two whole days.”
She laughs. “I love you bestest.”
“Best,” he winks.
He looks at me and narrows his eyes, and mouths, “You okay?”
I smile and flip him off so she can’t see me.
“You ready the cat?” Natalia asks grabbing my hand and pulling me to the door.
“I’m ready, but my name is Kat,” I explain.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did your mom name you cat?”
I shake my head and walk out the door following Natalia who is dragging me and does not stop talking about my name.
“Can we go there?” She points to the public beach across the road from the shop.
“Sure,” I say as I grip her hand tighter as we walk across the road.
We take off our shoes, set them on the bench and walk onto the sand.
Standing in the sand I look down at Natalia and then out at the ocean. She’s tiny in comparison.
“Come on,” she says and grabs my hand tugging me toward the water.
“Just be careful okay?”
She looks at me curiously. “You scared of it?”
I remember the damn tree and all of my mother’s annoying warnings that made me fearful of climbing a tree, being a kid.
I shake my head no. “You shouldn’t be either.”
But I am terrified. I convince myself it’s not because of Ricco and my new… fondness of the way he… fucks me. I convince myself that it’s not that this little girl is totally adorable. It’s because she is full of life and I want to make damn sure she gets to become a well-adjusted full of life, hopeful, dreaming, and fearless young lady.
Within minutes I realize I am not going to lose her to the ocean and we are getting slapped with waves and laughing.
“Daddy is gonna be mad,” she laughs when out of nowhere a wave comes up and she knows it’s gonna hit us.
I scoop her up quickly and turn my back trying to block her from getting soaked. The wave nails me and although I try my best to stay upright I fail but somehow manage to make sure I still have her tight in my arms and she lands on top laughing so hard I can’t help but laugh too.
“We super soaked.”
“We so are,” I laugh and try to sit us up when another wave hits us.
Instinctively I pull her head into my chest so she doesn’t swallow anymore of the Atlantic Ocean and manage to get half a lung full myself.
We walk into the shop, dripping wet and all three of them are standing there looking at us.
“What happened?” Ricco asks as Tweedledee and Tweedledum start laughing.
“A wave Daddy,” she smiles big, “almost took us away.”
“Is that so?” he asks looking between the two of us.
“I had her,” I defend.
He smirks and I realize it wasn’t necessary to defend myself.
“I need to go home and change.” I look at Natalia. “You need to change too.”
“Can I wear one of your shirts? I promise I won’t shower it like I did your bed,” Natalia says.
I glance at Ricco and he lifts his chin giving me the okay.
“Sure, let’s go.”
***
Natalia is a chatterbox and despite her not pronouncing her R’s and L’s well, I understand everything she says.
I text Darby that I will be at the house until three forty-five. Technically I don’t have to be to work until four.
I decide that the tank top with the sparkling middle finger is what she
‘haves’
to wear is fine for her, but washing her clothes and drying them should only take an hour or so. She’ll put them on before we leave the house.
She runs up the stairs like she owns the joint as she yells, “Gotta get a book and our colored pencils.” I hear her little feet slapping the hardwood floors and quickly shed my wet clothes and slip on my bathrobe.
She slides down the stairs on her butt holding the pencils and pad.
“Daddy makes me do that. It’s safe.” She nods and walks slowly toward the coffee table and sets them down.
“I’m going to wash our clothes so we can wear them when we go back to the-”
“Oh can I help!” she says running toward me. “I love laundry.”
Sure.
Apparently her father actually talks to her like she’s… human. She tells me that she knows so much about me and thinks I should get to know more about her. It’s hysterical.
“My favorite color is definitely pink,” she says and holds up the pink pencil.
“Sweet,” I say as I get up and make my way to the kitchen.
“You like lasagna?”
“Only Momma Joe’s,” she says, eyes never leaving the paper as she colors.
“Perfect, that’s exactly what I have.”
I sit and watch as she colors in one of the unicorns drawn on my sketchpad.
“I like you coloring books better than mines.”
I don’t tell her I drew them and that they weren’t coloring books they were sketchpads.
One knock on the door and then it opens.
We both look up to see Darby and my mom walk in.
“Darby!” Natalia cries and jumps up to run to her. “You missed me.”
Darby laughs as she catches her in a midair launch and says, “Yes I did.”
As Natalia drags Darby toward the coffee table I turn to follow them when Mom grabs my wrist stopping me and whispers, “What does that child have on?”
It takes me a moment to realize what she’s talking about. When I realize it’s the shirt, I have to stop myself from laughing.
“I believe in a child expressing themselves. She likes the shirt….” She tries to interrupt and I hold my hand out stopping her. “It’s what she wants.”
She looks at me like she’s ready to blow and I can’t help but smile. “Her clothes are in the dryer.”
Mom and Darby stay at my place; I take Nat back to the shop with me. Ricco leaves with her immediately and I get sucked into my art.
***
Thursday morning Mom leaves and Darby stays. It’s a win for me.
Darby and I decide to go shopping before work. I hate shopping, but I also know that Ricco has set up more interviews and that is a good enough excuse not to go into work early. We do drop by at Darby’s request to see if Natalia would like to go to lunch and shopping with us and of course she does.
While we’re at the mall we see a little store with pink everything in the window. Natalia looks at it like it’s magical, and yes we end up not only looking around the store but walking out with two bags full of frilly girl clothes.
Darby insisted. Natalia had told her she was going to a new school and apparently Darby thought the biker tee-shirts and baby leggings were not up to snuff. I don’t disagree but her baby biker clothes are totally cool.
When Ricco sees it he tries to pay me back. I had foreseen that coming and ditched the receipt in the console of my car. Finding anything in there was exactly like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
He insists on taking Darby out to dinner with he and Natalia. Then he reminds me I have a date. How awkward is that? Let me tell you, it’s about as awkward as fucking your co-worker and craving his dick every time he’s around. It’s as awkward as me hanging out with a kid when normally I would be making extra money. It’s as awkward as getting your Thursday paycheck all on the books and making more than you did the previous weeks when you aren’t working any harder.
I decide to take the good with the bad, and I’ll tell you I am finding pretty much nothing bad lately, which I remind myself is completely fucked up.
By the time they leave it’s an hour and a half ‘til closing, Ricco is taking them for steaks and then dropping Darby off at my place.
I walk into the bar and see Jinx and his mohawk behind the bar. I roll my eyes and walk up to the him.
“Hey Kat, what can I get you to wet your whistle?”
“A different bartender would be great,” I say as I sit down.
He leans in and whispers, “What the fuck happened to you huh? We had a good time, tell me you don’t wanna go another round with me.”
“Okay I’ll play along, I don’t want to go another round with you.”
“You swallowed my dick babe,” he whispers again.
“Wow, well, to be honest with you there wasn’t a hell of a lot to swallow.” I shrug. “Plus I was fucking tanked so I don’t really remember.”
“Clearly, my dick’s better than average.” He winks. “You told me so yourself.”
“Jinx, I was shit faced and trying to get off, I would have probably said anything.”
“Oh so now you’re ballin’ huh?”
“What?”
“Nothing Kat, just remember, I’m the fucking baller,” he holds up one finger, “around here.”
“Okay you be you, just do it somewhere I don’t have to deal with it okay?”
After that statement he leaves me alone.
Joey comes over with a Jack and Coke. “He being a tool?”
I nod and place a ten on the bar. “Yeah.”
“Ignore him, you hurt his ego with the strap-on talk.” He winks. “Please tell me that shit is true.”
I look at him and almost smile, almost. “I tell you the truth don’t tell him.”
“Okay.”
“He fucking loves them,” I lie and stand up.
As I’m turning around Joey asks, “For real?”
I shake my head no and he laughs.
I sit in the corner sipping my drink waiting for Mr. Mister, while flipping through my Matched Up messages hoping he’s a no show. I am exhausted from, well Ricco, and well the feels.
I flip through the messages
@countryboi22: What are the chances you want a friend with benefits?
Kat: What are the chances you have at least an average size dick? Both not good.
@countryboi22: Dick’s above average.
Kat: Is that what your mommy told you?
@countryboi22: No, but yours did.
Kat: She told me she was lying to make you feel better tiny.
Fucker was quick I’ll give him that. I block him and flip to the next.
@cockroket2: Not looking for anything serious but I could be like your gay bestfriend, but play with your tits.
Kat: My seven kids ruined my tits you wanna try something else?
He doesn’t reply.
@rider1: How you doing babe?
Kat: On a date. You?
@rider1: Still waiting on you to get your shit together.
Fuck him.
@rider1: No reply.
@rider1: Oh Kat you are missing out.
Kat: On a date.
@rider1: When you should be underneath me.
Kat: Got that covered too.
@rider1: Does that imply you’re fucking someone? I would assume you’re not fucking and texting.
Kat: I’m a girl of many talents.
@rider1: I’m a man who can help open you up to new ones.
Kat: What do you want from me?
@rider1: Just the truth.
Kat: Truth is I’m waiting for a date, who I have no intention of fucking.
@rider1: Good to know, then why the date, and what kind of man lets you date others while fucking him?
Kat: Someone who knows fucking is fucking.
@rider1: So a FWB.
Kat: Maybe.
@rider1: What the hell does maybe mean Kat?
Kat: Means yes but I have no idea why the hell I am explaining myself to you.
@rider1: Is your FWB good in bed?
Kat: Is your hand?
@rider1: Hand’s not necessary. I have a FWB too.
Kat: WHAT?!?! Then why the judgmental mind fuck?
@rider1: No more judgment.
Kat: Does she know you’re stalking me?
@rider1: You want me to stop messaging, block me. You want a date with me, see where this obvious mutual connection, attraction could lead let me know.
Why do I keep playing games with him? Why haven’t I blocked him? What the fuck is wrong with me, with him?
Kat: Straight up, you and I would kill each other.
@rider1: Why would you say that?
“My God Katherine, look at you,” I hear a familiar voice and look up.
My body tenses as I look at him. Wentworth Miller’s double.
I feel four years of emotion go off like a bomb inside of me. I sit on my hands to keep them from shaking. I want to get up to run but I can’t.
He sits down across from me and smiles. “Cat got your tongue?”
I shake my head no and he reaches across the table and rubs the back of his hand down my cheek.
I pull away.
“Christ look at you. Still fucking beautiful but what’s with all the tattoos?”
“Why are you here?” I ask in a low whisper.
“Needed to see you,” he says looking over my bare arms.
“I didn’t need to see you.” I start to stand and he grabs my hand.
“We need to talk,” he says.
I look up and Jinx is looking at me, I don’t want any of these clowns knowing a damn thing about me so I sit back down.
“No we don’t. I also don’t need anyone here to know a damn thing about who I used to be so what’s gonna happen here is you’re gonna finish your drink and then we’re both going to walk out of here and forget we ever saw each other again; you understand Professor Michaels?”
He shakes his head no as he looks over my face. “We will see each other again.”
“I’ll get a restraining order,” I threaten in a quiet, yet firm voice.
“First of all Katherine, I never hurt you so that would be impossible. Second we’ll see each other because we have mutual friends getting married in a few months. This weekend we’ll be at the same engagement party.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
“This could have been discussed through messenger.”
“Well seems you don’t answer messages, hell you changed your phone number.” His face grows tense.
“I was done.” I finish my drink. “And now Professor Michaels, I’m done again. Let’s walk out of here and-”
“You don’t want a scene here, and I don’t want one at the engagement party, so do stop acting like a child and let’s discuss this shall we?”
“There will be no issue at the party, hell I won’t even be there,” I laugh.