Authors: Adrienne Torrisi
Present – Hospital
I see florescent lights above me. I’m moving fast but not sure how. I look over to see a paramedic running next to me, and there is another one in front of me, pushing the gurney. I guess that explains how I’m moving. I am comforted by their urgency and grateful they are here to help.
“I know these kids,” I hear a concerned female voice that I recognize. “Oh, my God.” The panic is clear now, though I still can’t place the voice.
“There are four of them. Two critical, two serious but stable,” a paramedic says so matter-of-factly it’s as if he is talking about what he ate for lunch.
“Two critical” bounces around in my head. I can’t make those words go away. Of course, if they are critical, they are alive, and that gives me a sense of hope. I feel myself start to drift back off to the friendly abyss of darkness. I like it there.
“Dani. Daniella,” I hear my name.
I can tell we are still moving quickly when I feel a hand interlock with mine. It’s warm and soft. I want it to stay there forever.
Then I hear the paramedic’s voice again—I think his name is Danny. I remember him telling me we have the same name in the ambulance. He is talking rapidly, saying a lot of numbers that I don’t really understand. I hear his words and know they are about me, so I try to concentrate in order to figure out what is wrong with me, but I can’t. I don’t know what any of it means.
“Daniella,” I hear the female voice say again with more urgency. It’s more matter of fact now and stern enough that I open my eyes.
They land on Mrs. Collins, Nate’s mom. She’s in her white lab coat, morbid concern etched all over her face. Of course she’s here; she is a doctor, although she has always told us to call her Mrs. Collins because she’s just Nate’s Mom to us.
The smile on her face when my eyes meet hers is so genuine I think it must be nice to have her as a mom. I’m sure my mom wouldn’t be nearly as happy to see me.
“Dani.” She gently runs her hand over my forehead as she brushes some loose hair out of the way of the bandages I only notice now that her fingers glide across them. “You’re going to be okay.” She smiles. “Okay? Just hang in there.”
I think I nod my head, but I’m not sure. It’s so heavy. I feel tubes in my nose. I don’t think I can talk, so I don’t try.
“Honey, was Nate with you?”
I see her motherly concern, and I want tell her he was in the other car, so I try to talk. I know he’s okay, and I want her to know that, but the words aren’t coming, so I shake my head.
Relief floods her, but I have to make sure she knows.
“Other car,” I try to say.
Her smile tells me she understands.
I need to ask her how everyone else is. I think I ask it, but I must not have since she doesn’t answer me. Or she doesn’t know what to say.
Now she is talking to the paramedic, Danny, and he’s giving her all of my information. I’m trying hard to listen, to concentrate. I need to know who is critical. Are they going to be okay? I try to ask again, but I’m getting frustrated because the words are not coming out.
“The parents have not been contacted yet,” I hear Danny say, and my stomach lurches with relief.
We are still moving, yet we are slowing down. I glance over to see there are several more doctors waiting for us, all wearing the same white coats as Mrs. Collins.
She approaches them when we come to a stop right in front of where they are standing. Someone turns on an extremely bright light above us, and I close my eyes to block it out. I hear her giving them orders and updating them on my condition. However, my brain must not be letting me absorb any of the information, because it’s like gibberish. On her words, everyone flies into action, though. Then I hear her calming voice again.
“Dani?” She finds my hand with her own. “We’re going to take care of you, honey. We need to run some tests, okay?”
Once again, I try to nod my head. Then I see her give a curt smile to another doctor before I feel sleep pulling me away from her, away from the commotion, the frantic hustle and bustle of the doctors surrounding me. I try to focus on her face, her smile, yet the urge to sleep is too strong.
I hear loud beeping that lulls me back to my deep dark, safe place. I can’t fight it any longer, and I don’t want to.
Three months ago – December
I’m on the sideline of the basketball court with the rest of our varsity squad, building the excitement of the crowd with our cheer, not that we really need to with the boys currently on the court. They are their own cheerleaders; watching them play builds its own excitement. The crowd is already on their feet, and the stands are filled with homemade signs showing their love for the elite five and the entire team.
The energy in the room is intense whenever any of the five of them are on the court together. They move as one, can read each other perfectly, and they know when to take advantage of each of their individual strengths. The rest of the team is talented, but when the elite five work together, it’s magic.
Nonetheless, we are out here to keep the crowd going, so that’s what we are doing. Although, we are all more interested in the actual game than doing our cheers.
“Let’s go, Knights; let’s go!” we all shout out to the crowd.
The score isn’t even close; we are officially killing the other team. This is the game that will get us into the district championships and one step closer to state.
I should watch Marcus, but I can’t take my eyes off Jake. He commands the court, pumping up the crowd. The sound is deafening with just one motion of his arm directing them to cheer more loudly. The wooden bleachers are practically shaking from the entire student section jumping up and down, screaming for our team.
There are fifty seconds left, and Jake has the ball. He passes to Marcus who takes his time bringing it down the court, running down the clock until they have to shoot. Now they are just toying with the other players.
Our skill level is so far above theirs it’s almost not fair. It’s like a cat and mouse chase, and the mouse is running the show. The other team reacts, but our boys are always five moves ahead of them.
Marcus passes to Dax who sends it back to Nate, and without the other team noticing, Jake has positioned himself perfectly. In the blink of an eye, he has the ball again, and there is a perfect swoosh as it flies through the basket.
The crowd erupts, and whoever wasn’t standing is now. Everyone starts pounding their feet on the wooden bleachers in response to this epic win. The score is 102 to 89, and there is no way the other team can come back. They are no longer trying; instead, they just let the last few seconds on the clock run out.
When the buzzer sounds, indicating the end of the game, the echo of the entire student section’s feet banging on the wooden bleachers drowns out all the other cheering and shouting. The excitement is palpable.
In all the commotion, Jake finds my eyes, and he gives me a sweet smile, revealing his dimples right before he is lost in the crowd of the team and students swarming the court.
I look over and smile at Mel who is just as in awe as the rest of the student body. I pull her back while the rest of the girls on our squad line the wall of the gym to avoid getting trampled by everyone else swarming the court.
“D.” I feel hands around my waist and turn toward them. My eyes land on Marcus, whose hair is soaked with sweat. “We won!”
“I knew you would,” I tell him, which is true.
I’m not sure why he is always so cautious when it comes to games. He never thinks they are going to win when they always do. His lack of confidence given his tremendous ability is endearing and the complete opposite of Jake and the rest of the boys.
Before I can say anything else, he is pulled away by his teammates.
***
“District, here we come!” Dax wraps his arm around Em as we enter Lucas Miller’s house, which is like Architectural Digest type of enormous and designed specifically for entertaining.
Lucas’s dad is a big time lawyer who is always out of town on a big case or doing research. His mom is on wealthy husband number seven, so she is also not around, which equals the perfect party house.
It’s become routine. Every Friday night after games, we go to Lucas’s house. It’s not discussed; it’s a given.
Dax pulls Em into him, and she giggles. Clearly, they only have eyes for each other tonight. I wonder when they will just get it over with and start to openly date each other.
I feel Marcus intertwine his fingers with mine as we push our way through the crowd, and I tell myself to stop thinking about Jake. Stop thinking about his smile at the game or about what Marcus said earlier—that he has been off.
What is going on with him?
I’m worried, though I shouldn’t be. He’s a big boy and can take care of himself. Besides, I’m here with Marcus,
my boyfriend
.
We all find our usual place around the fire pit, and I nuzzle into Marcus while I try to discreetly study Jake.
He seems fine. He has his arms locked around Mel as she burrows herself into his lap. Thankfully, our talk in the tree house a few weeks ago convinced him that he belongs with her, and they are still going strong. Therefore, my feelings are safely buried where they belong.
“That was a hell of a game, boys,” Lucas says as he joins our group.
Lucas is always welcome, even though he isn’t part of our core group. One, because he is a cool guy who always throws sick parties, and two, because this is his house and we aren’t assholes. We are all grateful to his dad for funding and accepting our underage drinking, whether it’s knowingly or not.
“Thanks, man,” all the boys respond.
“So districts then regionals then state, right?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Cam answers.
“If all goes well,” Marcus chimes in, followed by immediate groans.
Cam throws his popcorn at him from across the fire, and we all laugh.
“Thanks for the party, Lucas,” Jake says as he takes in the entire senior class spread across Lucas’s sprawling lawn. The pool and hot tub are already packed with people.
We live in the middle of nowhere, Florida, but one positive is it’s almost always scorching hot which lends itself nicely to swimming in December. However, we are truly in the middle of the state, so we are nowhere near the beach, which would be the one perk of living in Florida.
“Well, this one is thanks to ‘The State versus The Schneider’s.’ ”
We all laugh. There’s always a different case we should be thankful for.
“Lucas, one of the kegs is dry already.” Mindy, Lucas’s steady girlfriend, comes up to us in a state of panic.
I laugh to myself because she’s already practicing being the perfect housewife hostess.
“Relax, Min. There’s plenty more,” Lucas reassures her then turns back to us. “Catch you later, guys. Duty calls.” He gives us a nod before he heads off with her.
I already have a beer in my hand. I’m not sure where it came from, but I don’t question it.
I see Joel across the yard on the other side of the in-ground hot tub that is the size of a small pool and feel my body tense. I hope no one else notices he’s over there. I barely know him, but I know the incident earlier is too fresh for Jake, who is already on edge and looking for someone to focus his anger on. And now there is no excuse not to—no game, no coach down the hall, no school grounds.
I decide I need to take things into my own hands. I don’t need these boys to protect me. I can take care of myself. In fact, I’m kind of pissed they feel like I can’t handle it myself, so I need to prove everyone wrong.
I slam the rest of the continents of my Solo cup for an excuse to get up.
“Hey, I’m going to refill. I’ll be right back.” I hop off Marcus’s lap.
“Sure, I’ll take some. Thanks, D!” Cam shouts after me.
I turn back to him. “I didn’t offer.” I give him my best wicked smile.
“I’ll go,” Nate says as he gets up to join me. He takes orders from the rest while I figure out the best way to lose him so I can complete my goal of reaming out Joel.
We start to walk toward the kegs, and I’m about to veer off with an excuse of using the bathroom, but Nate catches me off guard.
“Hey, I wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay …?” I ask, unsure where this is going.
Nate looks back at our group. “What’s going on with Jake? I know you guys are close. Has he said anything to you?”
I study him for a second, seeing concern in his eyes, but I can’t betray Jake’s trust. However, if Nate thinks something is up, that’s not good. It’s more obvious than I thought. Then again, Nate is always observant, always intuitive. Either way, I need to throw him off track, so I shrug and put on my best aloof attitude.
“No idea. He hasn’t said anything to me. Why? What’s going on?”
Nate’s eyes shift to the ground for a second. “It’s cool. You don’t have to tell me.” Then they come back up to find mine. “I get it.”
“Nate, really? There’s nothing to get. I don’t know.” I almost convince myself. Damn, I’m good.
“What was that before the game? He would never let that asshole Joel get to him, not before a game. The game is always his number one.” Of course the guys told him what happened. He shakes his head then looks back at our group. “He’s been off, and I know you’ve noticed it, too. We all have. He’s not himself. He’d never jeopardize the team or a game as important as that was. Never.” He looks back at me. “I’m just worried about him.”
“Don’t worry. It’s nothing he can’t handle.” My eyes catch Joel walking toward the house, and I know this is my chance. It’s now or never. “Hey, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom. I’ll meet you back at the pit.”
“Yeah, all right, D.” Nate studies me for a second. I know he knows there is more to what is going on with Jake. He also doesn’t seem to buy my sudden bathroom urgency, but honestly, I’m not even sure what is going on with Jake, and I need to concentrate on taking care of Joel at the moment.
I feel Nate’s eyes still on me as I walk toward the house. I quicken my pace to catch up to Joel just as he enters the main house. Then I quietly follow behind him. He has no idea I’m here.
The house is littered with people, and although it’s not nearly as crowded as the backyard, there are still too many people to do what I need to do. Lucky for me, Joel is heading toward the bathroom, and since there is a long line at the one off the kitchen, I watch as he heads down a deserted hallway to use a more private one.
As soon as we are far enough away from the crowd, I come up behind him. “What was that shit at school today?”
He turns around, startled. “D! Yeah, I’m sorry about that. It won’t happen again.”
“You’re damn right it won’t. And not because of Marcus or Jake. I don’t need them to protect me. But if you ever lay one of your disgusting hands on me again, I will personally see to it that your balls are no longer attached to your body.”
Something in him snaps. His eyes narrow as he saunters closer to me.
“Oh, really?” I smell the alcohol on his breath, all over him really. “Is that an invitation?” He reaches out and runs a hand over my hip.
Shit. Maybe being in a deserted hallway wasn’t the best plan.
He pulls me in closer with more force, and I push him back with all my strength, but he is stronger than his skinny body suggests, and he comes right back with more vigor. My hipbones slam into him. It hurts, but I don’t let that deter me.
“Get off me, asshole!” I scream.
Before I can push him off, his mouth is on mine. He’s rough, and his tongue is slobbering all over my face. It’s as if my mouth is a sandwich, and he hasn’t eaten in a year. Razor sharp stubble scratches my skin while he continues to force his mouth over mine.
He finally comes up for air. “Come on, you asked for it.” He slides his hands up and under my shirt, unsnapping my bra.
I try to position myself so I can knee him in the balls, but he slams me against the wall hard. Shooting pain throbs through my head the instant it hits. I push harder to get him off me, but it’s not working. His hands are on my breasts, and I want to vomit into his disgusting mouth. I can’t believe I can’t beat this asshole.
I try to use my anger to push him back, yet he is too strong for me. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or his adrenaline; nevertheless, I can’t budge him. He moves his hands down to my skirt, and in one thrust, it is up around my waist. I squeeze my eyes shut to brace for what I know is coming next.
I feel his grimy hands on my underwear, and then they are gone. Then I hear something slam down hard. I open my eyes to see Jake on top of him. He doesn’t say a word, just straddles him, throwing punch after punch.
I don’t know what to do. I’m so relieved, so thankful. I didn’t feel them at first, but tears are streaming down my cheeks, and I can’t stop shaking.
I feel hands wrap around me and pull me into a hug. I fall into the loving embrace, unable to stop my body from trembling. I don’t have to look to know it’s Mel. She runs her hands over my hair, and then she pulls my skirt down for me. I didn’t realize it was still hiked up.
“Sh … It’s going to be okay, D,” she keeps repeating.
“What is your problem, asshole?” Jake shouts as he pummels Joel.
“She asked for it!” Joel shouts back as he tries to block Jake’s punches.