Your man
. She pulled off her shirt in an effort not to let him see how much his words affected
her. Ryan might be a lot of things—many of them great—but he wasn’t hers. He couldn’t
be.
Except she no longer quite believed that.
By the time she finished taking off her wet things, he was there with a blanket to
wrap around her shoulders. “Now, sit. I’ll get some more hot chocolate whipped up.”
There he went, taking care of her again. She sank onto the rug they’d had sex on not
too long ago and watched him move purposefully about the kitchen. All this time, she’d
been operating under the assumption that something between her and Ryan couldn’t work.
But what if it could?
Chapter Fifteen
Ryan built up the fire, then pulled Bri to her feet and swept her into his arms. The
snowball fight had been impulsive and silly, but the sound of her gleeful giggles
still echoed in his mind. This day had been the most fun he’d had in longer than he
cared to remember.
Sure, he enjoyed his squad-mates and they’d had some good times together when they
weren’t deployed, but he could only hang out in so many bars and drink so many beers
and interact with so many of the same kind of woman, all looking for exactly the same
thing. He’d stopped truly enjoying it years ago, though he’d never been able to put
his finger on what it was that he actually
did
want.
Now he knew.
He wanted this. He wanted a partner to act like a fool with, to laugh with, to share
new experiences with, to fuck until they both forgot their names. If he were going
to be truly honest, he wanted it with
this
woman.
He laid her on the bed and followed her down, propping himself up next to her. Bri
reached up and ran a single finger over his biceps, almost as if she weren’t sure
of her welcome. “What are you thinking about?”
He responded by cupping her hip and tucking her against him. “Lots of things.”
“Tell me.”
“I was thinking that I’ve been chasing all the wrong things this entire time.”
She turned those wide blue eyes on him. “What do you mean?”
“I joined the PJs because I got to see some of the world I’d been so desperate for
and serve a higher purpose—and to get away from the boy I was, growing up in Wellingford.
It was everything I thought I wanted.” He took a deep breath. “But it hasn’t been
enough for a long time. Something was always missing.” Something he’d just gotten
a glimpse of and didn’t want to let go.
She ran a hand up his arm and back down again. “I don’t want to be presumptuous, but
I think I might understand what you mean. You were content, but you haven’t been happy.”
He considered. “Yeah, that’s a pretty fair description.”
“I’m familiar with the feeling.” Then she cuddled a little closer, making his heart
give another one of those almost-painful lurches. “So, what are you going to do about
it?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? Ryan smoothed his fingers through her hair, marveling
at how thick and soft it was. This was the moment when things could change, either
for the better or to make their remaining time in this cabin hell. But there was only
one way to find out, and his brother hadn’t raised a coward. “I’d like a chance to
date you, Bri. Exclusively,” he added, because the thought of her with anyone else
made him want to beat the prospective man bloody.
Her breathing picked up, but she didn’t slap him and run from the bedroom, so he figured
she wasn’t entirely against the idea. Then again, he could never be sure when it came
to her. She was just as likely to be considering how much time it would take for her
to grab a chair and bean him again.
When the silence stretched out, Ryan wondered if he’d misread the situation. He rubbed
his thumb over a strand of her hair. “No pressure. Things haven’t exactly been smooth
between us from the start, so I get it if you—”
She lifted her head and kissed him, silencing whatever the hell he’d been about to
say. Once his thoughts were completely frazzled, she leaned back and smiled at him.
“I’d like that.”
Had he heard her right? “You would?”
“Yes.” Her smile took on a bashful tone. “After all, there are so many childhood memories
we haven’t covered yet.”
“A lifetime’s worth.” Shit, had he just said that aloud? He kissed her, hoping it
didn’t freak her out that he was already thinking about a possible future. “How about
we take it one day at a time?”
…
One day at a time. She could do one day at a time. Especially if they were anything
like today. He’d breached boundary after boundary she’d created to keep her heart
safe, all the while coaxing her into experiences she never would have dreamed of.
Yes, they’d been silly and cute, but priceless to her.
And he seemed to know it.
Could she date him? It wasn’t the exclusiveness she was worried about…not really.
He was leaving, flying off back to his base in a week. The thought of standing at
the airport and being left behind made her sick to her stomach. But she could see
how the week went, couldn’t she? Seven days was plenty of time to see if things would
continue like they had today, or if they would go back to fighting. “One day at a
time.” She swallowed hard. “That’s doable.”
The grin on Ryan’s face warmed her right through, pushing away her worries. He rolled
onto his back, pulling her with him until she straddled his hips. “This mean you’re
going to be my girlfriend?”
Girlfriend.
The label shouldn’t make her both happy and terrified at the same time, but it did.
Bri attempted a smile. “Don’t you think that’s moving a bit fast?”
“Not really.” He shrugged, the move making his skin slide against hers. “I don’t have
a problem going after what I want. And what I want is you.”
But for how long?
No.
She would not let her issues and fears take over and ruin this. Just because she
had a history and some intense abandonment issues didn’t mean Ryan was like the rest.
He wasn’t. She bit her lip, playing her fingers over the muscles of his chest. “I
want you, too.”
“Then what’s holding you back?”
So many things, none of them completely relevant. She took a deep breath and smiled.
“Nothing that matters. I’d like to be your girlfriend, Ryan Flannery.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” If anything, his grin got wider. “You are so goddamn
beautiful.”
“Stop.” She pushed his shoulder. “You don’t have to say things like that. Not when
you already have me where you want me.”
Where
she
wanted to be.
His hand hovered less than an inch from her body. Keeping that distance between them,
he traced over her shoulder and breasts, down her stomach, and back up again before
taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Don’t you know by now?”
“Know what?”
“I don’t do anything unless I want to. And I sure as fuck wouldn’t spout pretty words
to get you into bed. I mean them. You, Bri Nave, are beautiful in ways that have nothing
to do with the physical.” His gaze traveled the same path his hand just had. “Though
you’re gorgeous physically, too.” He leaned up and kissed her, and she reveled in
the feeling of his body touching hers. When his hands came to rest on the back of
her thighs, she rocked against him, a whimper already building in her throat.
“Ryan—”
“I know.” His laugh was a little harsh. “I’ll stop talking now before I freak you
out.”
That wasn’t it. It wasn’t that at all. She cupped his face, her touch making him meet
her eyes. “I think you’re beautiful, too. I’ve never had someone do anything like
you did today.” She traced his lips with her thumb, the memory of them on her skin
making her shiver. “I was wrong about you when we first met, and I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, I was kind of an ass.” He feathered his fingers across her nipples. “How
about I spend tonight making it up to you?”
She kissed him. “You’re off to a brilliant start.”
He reached between them to cup her. “Christ, woman.” First one finger, and then two
pressed into her, a slow exploration so at odds with what happened between them on
the rug that it made her breath catch in her throat. “Like that?”
“You know I do.” He had yet to touch her in a way that didn’t make her eyes threaten
to roll back in her head. She leaned back, giving him better access. “I like everything
you do to me.”
Before
that
thought could take hold and truly freak her out, Ryan jerked his chin. “I think I
saw a few condoms hidden in the nightstand.”
She gave a breathless laugh as she reached into the drawer and came up with two. “A
nightstand. How mundane.”
“I don’t know. Maybe they were onto something.” He ripped open the packet and rolled
on the condom. “Now get back here.”
…
Ryan was going to take this slow if it fucking killed him. Every time he got his hands
on Bri, he lost his damn mind, but this time was different. She’d agreed to be his
girlfriend. If that wasn’t a step in the right direction, he didn’t know what was.
He adjusted his angle and pulled her down, sheathing himself inch by agonizing inch.
“I love how you throw back your shoulders when I piss you off.”
“Ryan—”
He could tell the compliments made her uncomfortable, but he didn’t know how else
to make her understand that, even knowing her such a short time, she meant more to
him than just a beautiful woman he wanted to be naked with. She had a core of strength—and
stubbornness—he saw in his fellow PJs. But beyond that strength was a heart that had
been beaten and bruised, but still managed to reach out to the children who were lost
like she’d been.
“I love that you work so hard for the kids’ programs in your library.” He pressed
an openmouthed kiss to her chest, directly above said rapidly beating heart. “You’re
strong and smart and compassionate, and any man would be lucky to have you in his
life.”
He thrust up, pushing a little deeper. “I care about you, Bri.”
She lifted herself and shifted back down, her breath gasping out. “I care about you,
too, Ryan.”
His heart pounded painfully, making him feel as if he were some fucked-up Grinch and
it was growing three sizes. Which didn’t make a damn bit of sense, so he shoved it
from his mind, and focused solely on making Bri’s body feel as good as she had his
soul.
He let her ride him, let her control how fast and hard things went. Her harsh breathing
was a perfect match to his own, but she needed that little bit more. Ryan pressed
three fingers to her clit, letting her motions stroke her against him and drive her
wild. The feeling of her clenching around him, combined with the wild look in her
eyes, nearly sent him over the edge then and there, but he held on through sheer force
of will. “You know what else I love about you?”
“Oh my God…I…” She grabbed the headboard above him and rolled her hips desperately.
“I love the way you scream my name when you come.”
Her body went tight, her head falling forward, a breathless shriek on her lips. “
Ryan
.”
The feeling of her coming around his cock was too much for his control. He grabbed
her hips and drove into her, needing to follow her over the edge as acutely as she’d
needed to get there. “
Bri
.”
She collapsed on his chest while he relearned how to breathe. Once their bodies quieted,
Bri shifted to the side and slipped her arms around him, tucking her leg between his.
She pressed a kiss to his throat. “Thank you. For everything you said. For meaning
it.”
She sounded like she still didn’t quite believe him. That was okay. Given enough time,
she would.
Chapter Sixteen
“Ryan, wake up.”
He opened his eyes, and winced at the bright sunlight shining through the window.
“What time is it?” They hadn’t exactly had a restful night between making love and
talking. He’d been looking forward to sleeping in.
But Bri was sitting on the edge of the bed, practically vibrating with energy. “Your
SUV is back.”
“What?”
“They must have brought it in the night.”
He sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Cowards.” End result aside, stranding
them in a cabin was some bullshit, and he fully intended on letting both his brother
and Avery have a piece of his mind about it.
“Maybe they didn’t want to interrupt.”
“More like they didn’t want to deal with us being pissed at them. Why are you dressed?”
“What?” She glanced down at herself as if just noticing that she wore the same clothes
she’d shown up with. Bri twisted her skirt between her fingers. “Well, I thought it
might be nice to get back to civilization.”
Back to Wellingford. That’s what she meant. He started to reach for her, but stopped
when he realized it for the ploy it was. The truth of the matter was he wanted to
stay here, in this safe place, and let things keep developing between them. Here was
the only place they’d managed to have decent conversations that weren’t biting comments
linked to the past he’d never escape as long as he was in Wellingford.
But if that was all the confidence he had in Bri, he had no business pursuing this
in the first place. So Ryan forced a smile. “I wouldn’t mind some diner food.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Diner food.”
“Yep.
The
Diner food, specifically.” He took her hand. “Think of it as a date.”
“Because our last one ended so well.”
Obviously she shared some of the same fears he did. “That was before I introduced
you to the world of s’mores. Everything has changed now.”
She laughed. “A valid point. Okay, yes. Take me on a breakfast date.”
After doing a quick walk-through of the cabin, they headed outside to where his SUV
had been parked in nearly the same spot he’d left it three days ago. He could almost
believe this had all been a dream.
Until he looked at the smiling woman at his side. The woman who, three days ago, had
barely been able to stand in his presence without them sniping at each other. It was
amazing how quickly things could change.