In Bed with the Rockstar (With the Rockstar #2) (rockstar romance series) (8 page)

I watched her cry but did
nothing. I was held back. I was handcuffed by nothing visible. There was no
rattling of chains, no metal on wrists, nothing like that. I stood with my
hands free, my heart too. I stood and was left to be tortured. To watch her.
With nothing to do. But to watch. To watch her cry. To wonder. And left to make
a decision... never will I watch her cry again. Never. No matter what.

.12.

The front of the building was
swarmed with reporters. And fans. More fans than reporters actually. Fans who
stood shoulder to shoulder hoping to get a glimpse of their worshipped
rockstar. A few people had signs, declaring the love for Slader and that he
would always be innocent. The story had been in the papers and online from the
second Slader was cuffed and taken in.

Carrie knew better than to get in
the middle of that mess. She wasn’t dumb and she didn’t want to go back to the
life John threatened her with. Leaving his apartment and  coming back, over and
over, playing all his games, having money thrown at her, that did nothing but
motivate Carrie. In some weird way she knew John cared about her, but he was a
businessman and had an addictive attraction to contracts.

Carrie lingered at the back of the
building. She knew that Slader wouldn’t walk out the front doors. No way in
hell. He wouldn’t want people taking his picture and calling his name. It
wouldn’t work that way at all. The only time Slader wanted that attention was
during his shows.

Carrie smiled because she knew she
could show Slader everything she knew about him and how much she’d be willing
to learn about him. The rest of her life didn’t mean a thing without Slader.
Anything he needed and wanted Carrie was prepared to give. All she had to do
was bring Slader to John for one meeting and her contract would be fulfilled.
Whatever happened between the two men didn’t matter, just as long as Carrie
left with Slader and John was out of her life.

That was the plan.

Carrie tried to look as normal as
possible. Not a crazy fan. Not a reporter. No camera. No cell phone ready to
snap a picture or a video.

All Carrie had to offer was herself
and she hoped Slader would see that and accept it.

A string of cheers erupted from the
front of the building. Instantly, Carrie thought she had messed up again.

“Ladies, gentlemen, I’m sorry,” a
voice called out. “He’s not here. He’s already left...”

Carrie shook her head.

No.

That couldn’t be right. John told
her to be there at that time. If he was gone, again, that would be it. John
would force her right back to where she had been, begging him for pleasure and
money and being treated like she was worthless.

Before the tears could fill her
eyes, the back door to the building opened.

And
there he was...

Slader came walking out of the
building behind another man. A second later a black SUV pulled up. The man ran
to the back door and opened it. Slader walked with his stare forward, intent.

This was Carrie’s chance.

She had to say something. She had
to do something. The crowd out front was still hearing the obvious fake speech
from someone on how Slader had been released earlier and that it had been
hours. He even offered to take two reporters inside to prove it. It was all so
cleverly planned.

Slader walked by Carrie and was getting
closer to the SUV.

“No,” she whispered. “No...”

She had a few seconds to do it. To
just open her mouth and say something to Slader. If not, it was all over. She
had no idea when a chance would ever come again. Slader had cancelled shows.
Now he was tied up on this assault and lawsuit thing. And he still had Jessica
somewhere.

“Slader!” Carrie called out.

Slader froze and looked over his
shoulder.

“No time,” the other man said.

He reached for Slader and Slader
knocked his arm away.

“You,” Slader said. “I know you.”

“Yes,” Carrie. “Yes...”

Carrie smiled. Slader had
remembered her.

Slader turned and stepped towards
her. Carrie was in shock, but she swore she wouldn’t stop. She wouldn’t lose
her words. She wouldn’t face punishment as dictated by the contract.

“I needed to see you again,” Carrie
said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“You’re sneaky,” Slader said. “How
did you know?”

“You wouldn’t face them out front,”
Carrie said. “That’s not your audience. They’re leeches, aren’t they?”

“Spoken like an angel.”

Carrie began to gush everywhere.
Slader touched her face with a finger and her cheeks burned. Everything burned.
She envisioned getting into the SUV with Slader and disappearing with him
anywhere he wanted to go.

“I’m fine,” Slader said.
“Everything will be fine.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Carrie said. “I
just... I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Nobody can,” Slader said.

“You remembered me.”

“I did,” Slader said. “I did.
Seeing your face backstage... you weren’t meant to be there. You have no idea
what it’s about.”

“I don’t,” Carrie said. “But I want
to. You can show me.”

Slader smiled. “Another hopeful
soul ready to lose it all.”

“I’ve already lost it all,” Carrie
said. “Which leaves me plenty to get.”

“Well said.”

“Slader...,” the man from the SUV
said. “We have to go.”

“Yes, we do,” Slader said.

“Am I...”

“No. I have to be somewhere. It’s
always wonderful to meet a dedicated fan.”

Carrie felt her stomach turn. She
reached for Slader but he backed up. He stared at her. Their eyes were
connected.

“I’m here,” Carrie said. “Always
here. I need you.”

“Most people do,” Slader said. “If
you mean what you say, then you’ll wait. You’ll always wait.”

“I will.”

“I’ll play again soon. I have to.”

Slader turned and got into the SUV.
The man followed next and the SUV sped off.

Carrie blinked and felt the tears
in her eyes again.

She did it.

She spoke to him.

She certainly didn’t do anything
John wanted, but it was a start. Something to tell John, even if she had to
stretch the conversation a little.

Carrie had an hour to think of what
to say to John. The hour went by fast and when she met him at his apartment, he
looked at her, not happy.

“You’re dressed like that?” he
asked.

“There’s no need for anything
else,” Carrie said. “I saw him, I talked to him.”

“When am I meeting him?”

“Soon,” Carrie said. She had to
hold her lying face straight and steady.

“Soon?” John asked.

“He just got out of jail or
whatever it is. He had to leave with his manager to take care of some things
and then he’s coming back for shows.”

“He said this?”

“Of course he did,” Carrie said. “I
told you... I froze the first time. It was backstage and that room I saw...”

“Okay, okay.”

“He talked to me. Just me, John.
Everyone out front waited and waited, but he talked to me.”

“Did he touch you?” John asked.

“Touch... well...”

John stepped towards Carrie. He
looked down and his eyes were on fire. They were eyes of rage and jealousy.

“Did he touch you?”

“Yes,” Carrie whispered. “He
touched my face. Nothing else. What do you want me to do, John?”

“I don’t know,” John said. “I think
about it and it makes me want to hurt people. I want the deal. I want to send
the pretty boy rockstar packing back to where he belongs. But if he fucking
touches you...”

Carrie swallowed. The look in
John’s eyes was scary. It was beyond jealousy. It was beyond rage. He was in
love with Carrie. That’s what those eyes were. He had found a woman that would
listen to him and a woman he could enjoy all the time. A woman that would sign
a contract and comply. And that meant the hole Carrie had dug was only going to
get deeper. Her feelings for John were only on the surface. He provided a contractual
service. Carrie provided a contractual service. That was their relationship.
There maybe existed a time when Carrie wanted more, or had more feelings, but
not now. Her heart and mind were for Alex Slader. She’d wait for him to come
back. Until then, she’d string John along... that’s all there was to it...

“Here, let me show you what it’s
like to be touched,” Carrie whispered.

She lowered herself to her knees
and touched John.

This was just part of the job now. She
would keep John happy yet confused and she would keep her eyes shut when she
could. Everything was about Slader and soon she would have him to herself.

I’ve never tried so hard.

I’ve never cared before.

I’ve never fallen with pain.

I’ve never loved more.

I’ve never taken so much.

I’ve never hated my breath.

I’ve never asked for this.

I’ve never courted death.

.13.

Slader entered the cabin and headed
for the stairs. He rushed to the bedroom and opened the door to find Jessica in
bed, sleeping. The smell of lavender lingered in the room. He stood and watched
her, the sheets up to her shoulders, her hair spread across the pillow. He
stood over her and let the inspiration of life come to him. This was what it
was all about. The second chance at a life first lived a long time ago.

After a few minutes of silence
Slader felt his fingers tingling. It was time to create something. He left the
bedroom and went to the room next to it. The room was filled with instruments
and recording equipment. His sanctuary. He could hear the sound of each
instrument he looked at. Today was the kind of day for the piano.

Slader stood at the black piano and
put his left hand on top of it. He rested his head on his hand and let his
right hand work first. He gently touched keys, waiting for that first note to
come to him. There weren’t endless notes in music, so the first note dictated
it all. He closed his eyes and he found comfort... his right hand started
playing something new. Sad, with purpose.

The world was still trying to tear
them apart. Jerry was under strict orders to ensure everything with Richie would
be buried soon, including Richie. Jerry didn’t know what the comment actually
implied, and to a point, neither did Slader, but the way he felt about
Richie...

Slader lifted his head and put his
left hand to the piano. He began to play. It was a new song. It was important. It
would change people’s lives and make a bad day better. A song that would stop people
and force them to focus on the words.

After running through all his mind had
to offer, Slader reached to his right and turned on some recording equipment.
This was how he loved to record. It was the only way everything to be organic. He
could go back and listen, get a feel, and see what needed to be changed.

The equipment was on, recording.

Slader sat in silence, allowing it
all to come back to him. He hummed a few notes, picking up the melody, sending
it to his fingers to find on the piano. He started to play and couldn’t stop.
He stared at the keys with intense eyes, playing the same thing over and over. The
song gained life each time he played it. He began adding an extra note here and
there. A fill between the first chorus and second verse. A bridge that became
quiet, which would allow his voice to fill the song, the venue, and the fans
hearts and souls. Then a solo that would only be complemented by...

He took his hands off the piano and
the song died. That was the amazing power of it. He controlled the song.
Without his fingers, and his mind, there would be nothing. The piano needed
him. The song needed him. The fans needed him. Jessica needed him.

Slader reset the recording for
playback and switched to guitar. He played the guitar flawlessly, his fingers
smooth against the strings and the neck. At the solo, he waited for the piano
part to end and with the press of a couple foot pedals, he had reverb and
wah-wah. The sound was filled with echoing cries of notes. This was where
people would hear the song without vocals and be able to create their own
images of the song. That was the key to soloing during these kinds of songs.

By the time he was done, Slader
stood to find his body shaking. It had been a long time since he wrote
something so poignant. His mind raced trying to pick up on the inspiration of
it all. It was certainly something about the second chances life seemed to
give.

Jessica with the second chance. The
woman finding him for a second time... the one who looked scared and seductive.
Even Richie. His second chance at suckling off the power of Slader.

Slader turned the recording
equipment off. He’d wait a few hours before listening to it. Then he’d tear it
all apart and do it again. Because it could be better. It deserved to be
better.

“That was amazing,” a voice said.

Slader hadn’t expected the voice,
momentarily forgetting that other people in the world existed. He turned to see
Jessica standing outside the door, Slader appreciated the beautiful woman for
respecting his beautiful room.

“Something new,” Slader said.

He looked at Jessica, dead in the
eyes, and he could tell something was different. It pained him because it was
the reason why he hated separation.

“Are you in trouble?” Jessica
asked.

“Is that what’s bothering you?”

Jessica adverted her eyes. Slader
rushed to her, his hands needed to touch her. He held her by the waist and
placed his head to hers. She wouldn’t look away, not again. She couldn’t.

“Jessica... everything will be
okay. I have everything under control.”

“I know that,” Jessica whispered.

Silence fell and Slader waited to
see if Jessica would say something. She didn’t say a word. She was holding
back. Closing up. Letting go. That was how fast people changed. Slader had been
watching it his entire life.

“I can’t handle this again,” he
whispered. “Look at me. Tell me something honest.”

Jessica looked at him. “Honest...
I’ve been waiting for you to touch me since you left.”

Slader slid his hands down to
Jessica’s ass and pulled at her. He forced her to jump up and wrap her legs
around him. They stared at each other. Slader needed Jessica. He needed her
body, her love, her desire. It would fix anything broken because that’s what it
was supposed to do.

He walked to the bedroom without
speaking a word, without taking his eyes away from Jessica. He lowered her and
himself to the bed. He felt her legs pulling at him, wanting him. Jessica
opened her legs and Slader stood from the bed. He touched her pants and opened
them without breaking the intensely beautiful stare he and Jessica shared.
Something was very wrong. Yet something was very right. This was the only woman
to come close to cracking his shell. He wouldn’t let her get away again. Look
what time had given him for another try...

Slader slid Jessica’s pants and
panties off her body with a gentle force. He didn’t have time for seduction and
foreplay. That’s what the song was for. If Jessica heard it then she already
knew everything rushing through Slader’s mind.

Jessica quickly sat up, her legs
slightly open, revealing herself as she reached for Slader’s pants. She worked
as fast as he did, opening his pants and forcing them down. His thick erection
popped free from his pants but Jessica didn’t touch him. It was subtle moves
like that that made her so beautiful and deadly all at the same time. She knew
what to do without him commanding her.

Jessica slowly moved back down to
the bed. She put her feet to the bed and opened her legs. Slader looked at the
moist center of his beautiful woman and smiled. The gentle folds of her skin.
The pinkish hue of her skin. Everything so delicate and innocent yet had the
wild scent of erotic desire.

Slader came forward to the bed and
positioned himself over Jessica. He grabbed her hands and interlocked his
fingers to hers. He forced her hands high over her head and then thrust
forward, penetrating her with a hard thrust. He sank deep and let out a long
groan. Jessica tried to moan but she had no breath. Her back arched and Slader
felt her body touching his. They both still had their shirts on, which was
different to Slader. This wasn’t just about the pleasure... this was pure lust
and unfiltered sex.

As he pulled back, Jessica thrust
at him, finally able to moan. She let out a moan and when Slader thrust at her
again, she cried out. The sound of her cry was so hopeless, and it told Slader that
she still needed him, no matter what was going to happen next. He wanted that
sound in his mind and heart forever, so he began to thrust at Jessica with the
same intensity and feeling. He couldn’t waste it. He couldn’t let it go. He
needed it.

With Slader’s feet on the floor and
Jessica so willing and needy, the sex became fast and sweaty. Slader refused to
let Jessica break his grip on her hands. He squeezed and kept her in place,
fucking as hard as he could. With each thrust he swore he could feel himself
going deeper inside Jessica, reaching new warm places that maybe never existed
before.

His eyes studied everything Jessica
did. How she opened her eyes. Closed her eyes. Arched her back. Lost her
breath. Found her breath. Parted her lips. How her mouth looked when she made
noise. How she curled up when she started to come and held there, her body
throbbing so tight around Slader.

When it was time to come, Slader
thrust deep and hurried to move down. His lips touched Jessica’s, his tongue
then seeking hers. Slader was hard, throbbing, spilling inside Jessica. He allowed
her to move her lower half in small movements only to keep him coming.

By the time Slader took himself
from Jessica’s body, his erection was gone and the sweet taste of Jessica’s
mouth lingered his mouth. They dressed in silence and Slader found himself
standing in the middle of the bedroom.

“You should go finish that song,”
Jessica said.

“I don’t care about the song,”
Slader said. “Not when you have guilty eyes.”

“Then don’t look at them,” Jessica
whispered.

“Tell me... tell me everything...
what happened again?”

Jessica looked at Slader. He could
feel the stare cutting through him. She almost made him feel vulnerable, which
was part of the reason he took her to the cabin. If Slader was going to give
in, he couldn’t do it anywhere else.

“I want to know everything,”
Jessica said. “You kidnapped me here... you... my cell phone...”

“Jessica,” Slader said.

He stepped towards the bed and
Jessica turned her head. Slader froze. That She looked away. Just like
before... always looking away. Looking away until it was time to leave.

Slader closed his eyes and
swallowed enough pain that would have killed a normal man. But he wasn’t a
normal man. He was a billionaire rockstar, and that meant he controlled
everything, including himself. All it took was a second to shut it all down, and
just like that Jessica became just another woman... even if his heart wanted to
believe she was
the
woman...