In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod) (10 page)

I beamed up at my boyfriend. “You knew I was
fake crying?”

“There was never a doubt in my mind
that you were providing cover. Good job, partner.”

I replied
on a laugh, “Partner, huh? Wow, if you’re using the “P” word, I must have been closer to death’s door tonight than I realized.”

Luke
slowly raised a black eyebrow and his eyes were glinting when he gave my waist a squeeze. “Princess, is it possible you’ve grown more lippy since I’ve seen you last? Calling you partner was a compliment.”

“
Well, I do believe in personal growth, so thank you for both compliments.” My smile grew wider at his snort. Nodding towards the man on the floor, I said, “About Dickie. We have a deal, so you can’t kill him.” I got back on track with his earlier no-frills explanation. “So, you just happened to drive up to my place right when Dickie was kidnapping me? Then you followed Candy and his van?”

“
What do you mean; you have a deal with this dickhead? What deal?” Luke asked, his voice sounding dangerously cold again.

Realizing I’m
still standing around in my ragged teddy, I motioned to my clothes. “Can you hand those to me, please? I want to get out of this hell house.”

Luke made an impatient
noise, but released me and brought over my clothes and shoes. I accepted the pile and wincing only slightly, put a foot up on the chair seat to pull on a thigh-high. Luke’s hooded eyes lowered to watch my hands, but no expression showed on his face.

Continuing with the second stocking,
I explained, “I made a deal with Dickie to hire him to find the person that hired him to abduct me and leave me for dead.”

At that,
Luke shook his head. “Of course you did.”

I stayed silent after this
sarcastic comment, slipping on my blue and black plaid skirt. Unsmiling, Luke held out the black blouse. Murmuring my thanks, I turned around to slip my arms into the sleeves. I was surprised when Luke enfolded me in his arms from behind. After a pause, he proceeded to push my hands aside and expertly buttoned up the blouse.

Hands lingering at the top button, Luke’s low voice in my ear made me squirm. “Here’s my deal, Anabel, and it’s the only one you’re getting.” He stated unequivocally, “I’ll leave this fuckhead relatively mobile--for now. He’s got twenty-four hours to come up with information on who hired him and convince me that he’s legit. If he doesn’t, your deal is off and he’s mine.”

Clearly
Luke was not in the mood for lengthy negotiations. He’s the security professional here and I agreed with him, so I simply nodded. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to understand Luke’s relieved I’m alive, but still furious that it could have easily gone the other way. The war-god in him wants to beat on something and my deal with Dickie hamstrung him. Usually I don’t react well to dictatorial men, but I’m too glad Luke is here to have a pissing contest over who’s in charge. I’d like to believe I would have figured out a way to escape once Dickie left me here to die, but its fine by me that I’ll never know. Shivering again, I turned within Luke’s arms and hugged him. I almost pitied Dickie, but he couldn’t say I didn’t warn him.

I
said, “Thanks to you, my Hero, I’m safe. Now, please answer my other question. Did you just happen to drive by, or what?”

After a slight hesitation,
Luke’s hands ran lightly up my back. “No, it was more like I was parked and waiting for you to get home, but too far away to stop him from taking you.” He didn’t wait for my response, but added, “When I saw him in your parking lot, he was dressed as a plumber.” His next questions were in the perplexed tone of the very hetero male, “Why did he change clothes? I understand the mask and maybe even the cape, but the shoes? What dumbass voluntarily wears high heels during a kidnapping?”

Still not really satisfied with his answer, I let it go for now and patted Luke’s shoulder
before I stepped away. “It’s a girly thing with the shoes, so don’t worry you don’t get it, baby. You never will.”

Luke snorted again and I smiled.
The butt splinters would have to wait to be extracted later, but I felt instantly better having my shoes on. I found my purse on the floor next to Dickie. It looked like I’ll be alive for another day and needing my debit card, so I got out my checkbook. Calculating quickly, I dashed out a check for four thousand, eight hundred, and seventy-four dollars. I wrote “minus one teddy” in the memo field.

I looked up at Luke’s cold face staring broodingly down at Dickie.

“Did you see any I.D. in the wallet that gave his full name?”

“Richard Webster.” If I wasn’t already sure, his flat voice reflected his displeasure at my decision to hire Dickie.

Luke
could be disappointed at my negotiation skills or mad that I’d hired Dickie, so he had to refrain from killing him, but either way, I figured he’d get over it. I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy over this whole mess. There’s someone out there wanting me dead, and I had no idea Luke would be rescuing me when I made this deal. In my opinion, Dickie’s still my best bet to quickly find this enemy. Tearing it off, I carefully squatted down and placed the folded check in Dickie’s suit jacket pocket. His lips were twitching and he’s beginning to come around.

Dickie
visibly startled at seeing Luke’s unfriendly face looming over him. Maybe he thought tonight was like a bad dream, too. He started blubbering and begging for mercy.

He
raised his head and seeing me, cried beseechingly, “Anerbel, don’t let him hurt me!”

I paused and looked down at
Dickie tied up amidst the garbage on the dirty floor, his black suit smeared with dusty grime. I wished he would have chosen to do the right thing and let me go when he was offered the chances. Reaching over, I untied the mask and pulled it off. Dickie’s pretty cute, if you were in the market for a gay, blue-eyed, chubby-cheeked Fixer with a head of tight blond curls and a shallow heart of stone.

With the threat of dying off the table, I
just couldn’t hate the guy. Luke’s fury diffused most of my own.

I gently pinched
his pink cheek. “Don’t forget our deal, Dickie. I’ll be expecting that call. Do not let me down on this, okay?”

Ignoring Dickie’s
blubbering; I accepted Luke’s help and stood up.

Putting my hand out, I said, “Keys, please.”

Luke pulled the truck keys from his pocket and dropped them into my outstretched hand while murmuring, “The driveway is to the left and my…our truck is parked at the end, also on the left. It’s not far and,” he eyed me solemnly, “the road’s flat, so you shouldn’t fall down.”

I
disregarded his unkind reference to my propensity for wiping out at inopportune moments. Instead, I used this as another teachable moment to guide our relationship by example.

Standing on tiptoe, I placed a soft kiss on Luke’s cheek and smiled
demurely up at the cruel face gazing down at me. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Leaving
the begging Dickie to his less-than-deserved fate with my badass boyfriend, I walked out of the filthy kitchen while tossing over my shoulder carelessly, “It’s nothing personal, laddie, but I don’t have a choice, now do I?”

Thursday, 12/06/12

11:35 PM

I
winced at hearing Dickie let out a shrill scream that ended with a high-pitched yelp and then silence in the kitchen behind me. Having no idea what hurt Luke will put on the Fixer that will still leave him somewhat mobile, I only know it sucks to be Dickie.

A few seconds later, I found my way
out the front door and across the slanting floor of the enclosed front porch.

It
was cold outside, but not much worse than inside the house, since so many windows are broken or missing. The air was fresh and I could see well enough by the moonlight, so I wasn’t complaining too much. It was creepy being all alone out in the night and having no idea where this abandoned farm is located. For all I knew, I could be right next to a cemetery. This ghoulish thought encouraged me to take off down the driveway at a carefully brisk pace. Luke would be following, but with a hand in my purse gripping Rita, I was ready for anything or anybody that wanted to try and tangle with me.

Safely r
eaching the truck a few minutes later, I slowly climbed up into the passenger side. Leaning over, I started the engine and the heater kicked right in. I was locked up tight and cocooned in currents of blissfully warm air blowing throughout the cab. Turning off the radio, I allowed my head to fall back against the leather seat, but couldn’t get comfortable. If you’ve ever sat on a crown of thorns poking you in the ass, then you know what I was experiencing. I moved the seat back as far as it would go and stretched out on my left side. This gave me instant relief.

I dug for some gum
and a comb in my purse. Running across a small bottle of hand sanitizer that Stella slipped me last week, I spritzed my hands. The product is nice, but the herbal smell has the side effect of making me hungry for lasagna, and on cue, my stomach growled. Popping a piece of cinnamon gum in my mouth, it would have to do while I patiently worked the tangles out of my long hair. This was all the fixing up I could accomplish for now, although I dreamed of luxuriating in a hot bubble bath. I reflected on how strangely dissociative it was to be abducted and then rescued, all in the space of an hour, with nobody in my world being the wiser, except Luke and you-know-who. Definitely gave a different perspective to what a person could be up to when you thought they were at home and tucked in for the night.

I checked my phone.
There were three escalating voicemails from Jazy about fifteen minutes apart, the most recent at 11:29 PM. On the last voicemail, Jazy demanded that I call her back or she was calling in the troops. She stated she had a bad feeling and needed to know I was alive and kicking, even if she was waking me up. I recalled how anxious Jazy was earlier tonight when she and James left me. Now I understood my sister had been reacting like one of her horses does when they scent danger in the air or an approaching thunderstorm. This was also a weird thought, but worth remembering for the future.

For a nanosecond, I fe
lt tiny and defenseless. I squared my shoulders and embraced the suck. I had to do some serious thinking. There was a person out there wanting me dead. Either they can’t or don’t want to kill me in person, but they had no problems paying through the nose to have someone else do their dirty work. Until they’re caught, I’m screwed big time.

In the meantime,
I’ll need every advantage possible and that included a suddenly psychic sister. I groaned at this newest problem and added it to the top of my mental list of woes. Having a big, fat target painted on my back was an experience I do not want to keep repeating, especially during the busy holiday season at the bookstore.

I called Jazy.

She answered talking, “It’s about frickin’ time! We are literally walking out the door to come to your house!”

Finding my fun where I can, I disguised my voice and said, “I have your sister and she is mine now, horse girl, all mine.”

“Very funny, Anabel, you ass
,” Jazy retorted, but sniggered. “My God, I have been climbing the walls!”

Tre call
ed out in the background, “She has, Bel!”

I assure
d her that I’m alive and thanked her sincerely for her concern. Jazy was enormously relieved. Her fears lessened when she heard I’m with Luke, but they don’t totally evaporate. She stated reluctantly that it was better than me being alone, but by her tone; Luke still needed to prove himself to my sister.

“T
he craziest thing happened after we drove off from following you home. Out of nowhere, I started feeling sick and dizzy. I thought for sure I was going to toss my cookies. I felt too yucky to go to the party, so James took me home. I hung out on the sofa and now I feel fine.”

“
Wow, that is crazy, you’re never sick,” I replied. “Hey, is this your roundabout way of confessing you barfed up Mac’s nachos and ruined my new dress?”

“Darn, you caught me,” Jazy deadpanned.

I laughed. “Still, this is not like you to go maternal on me.” I had another alarming thought. “Holy Moly, tell me you’re not knocked up, too!”

“Bite your tongue, Sister!” Jazy exclaimed in horror.

I laughed again. “Whew! That was a close one!”

I decided
to wait to tell them both the whole story about Dickie and the abduction. I had planned on asking Jazy and Tre for their assistance on another matter and wanted to get together with them tomorrow.

“W
ant to hang out tomorrow night around eight?” I asked. “I know its Friday night and short notice, so I’ll forgive you if you girls have hot dates already and can’t.”

Jazy didn’t hesitate.
“If it’s more damn wedding stuff, I’m busy. Tre says she’s busy, too.”

I snickered
, “Oh yeah, you know how I love all the wedding stuff. I just can’t escape the brides easily like you two lucky dogs! No, it has nothing to do with the weddings, but I need you both for your expertise.”

“
Yeah, we’re lucky to live out in the country,” Jazy agreed smugly. “Nope, we don’t have any plans we can’t change. What’s up?”

“We’ve been recruited to do a ninja job. I can’t talk now, but
I’ll come to your house at eight tomorrow night after work and fill you guys in, okay? Oh, shoot. What about Blanca?”

Jazy
’s voice sounded much more enthused now. “Blanca’s cool. She’s staying with Stella again tomorrow night to make decorations for Anna’s shower on Sunday afternoon. I believe they’re creating teal blue tissue flowers to mix in arrangements with real flowers of white roses...”

“
What the…seriously? You’re talking wedding stuff to me?” I griped, only half teasing.

“
Crap, I’m infected! Save me!” Jazy laughed. “Hey, does recruited mean we’re getting paid?”

I
smiled grimly. “Trust me, if we don’t do this, we will be the ones paying for a long time.”

“Uh
oh, that doesn’t sound good,” Jazy said. ‘Okay, I won’t bug you because I know you can’t talk with Luke around, but don’t be late. I’m curious as hell. Wait a sec.” I faintly heard Tre’s voice again. “Tre wants to know if she should borrow a car, so that we can travel incognito.”

“See why I need you two so much
? Tell her that’s a great idea! See you guys at eight sharp tomorrow. Later, Sis, love you!”

“She’s getting mushy on me, Tre!
I swear the earth has tilted on its ajax!” Jazy sang out before ending the call.

Smiling
, I mouthed “axis” to myself and felt a teeny bit guilty. I should take the time to let Jaz know she was absolutely right to be freaking out about me tonight, but I’ll tell her tomorrow. Jazy can wait one more day to find out she’s ready for her own TV show to talk with dead people. Right now, I’m too sick of talking to live people. After waiting on customers all day at the bookstore, and then spending the evening at Mac’s with a gaggle of women talking nonstop weddings and frightfully graphic birth stories, I was already tired of humans when I got home tonight. That was before I was kidnapped by the princess bride.

Now that I’ve
gone and reminded myself of the evening earlier at Mac’s house, I slumped down in the seat and stared unseeingly at the phone in my hand.

After Luke
’s disturbing behaviors, my sister Mac was the next big problem on the mental list I’d been composing before being interrupted by my abduction.

When I was the first to arrive at
Mac’s house at seven, I learned she had arranged this to talk privately before the other women arrived. Mac immediately whisked me off to the master bedroom and fell apart before my eyes. Only weeks after telling me that Diego is the light of her life, I was dumbfounded to be informed Mac may be pulling the plug on their marriage. She suspects Diego has married her for money and wants me to investigate.

As my sister
angrily explained her suspicions while I patted her back, I grimaced at the irony.
‘Are Axelrod women just cursed in general? Are we forever doomed to be dancing our cha-cha’s straight down the yellow brick road to relationship Hell like a bunch of sex-starved munchkins?’

So why does Mac suspect this and why do I have to be the damn investigator?

I know, that’s what I asked her, too!

Diego’s behavior
was straight out of an Oprah episode on what signs to look for in a cheating spouse. He’s been working day and night, he’s irritable and distracted, he’s been receiving calls and texts at all hours, he patted her on the head like she’s a dog, (I quickly stopped patting Mac’s back) and suddenly he showing no interest in their sex life. To add insult to injury, yesterday Diego asked Mac for ten thousand dollars. He wouldn’t look her in the eye and got angrily defensive when she asked to know, and rightfully so, why he needed the money.

If Mac’s suspicions
were correct, her pride can’t bear for anyone else to know that she knows Diego was stepping out on her. In her opinion, it’s a terrible enough blow for her to publically admit she’d made a mistake by naively marrying him so quickly when all her friends counseled her to wait.

Ma
c’s grand plan was to leave Diego first. In the court of public opinion, she’d be divorcing him on the grounds of his emotional immaturity which, according to her, everyone believed anyway due to their twelve year age difference.

I tried valiantly
not to snicker at hearing that, since isn’t emotional immaturity a given where men are concerned, as compared to women, regardless of any age differences?

Exactly.

Seeing the whites of Mac’s eyes showing around her aqua-blue orbs, I sat on the edge of their bed. Calmly, I brought up alternatives for Diego’s behavior other than him not loving her or breaking his wedding vows.

“You know Mac, all those signs point to being blackmailed, too. Or Diego could be suffering from sad penis dysfunction and he’s seeking treatment. Could either of those be a possibility?”

Mac’s dark scowl got darker. When I said Mac fell apart, I didn’t mean she started crying. That’s not the way Axelrod women fall apart. We tend to rant and rave while railing at the Universe. Perhaps we scream out a few obscenities, and then we get down to plotting pain-filled revenge.

My sister
rolled her eyes. “For God’s sake, he’s a Latino man, Bel. Their penises are always happy to function. That’s what has me crazy. If that penis is not here,” she stamped her foot indicating her luxuriously appointed bedroom, “doing it with me, then by God, I want to know where it
has
been before I dump his cheating ass!” She glared at me like I was nuts. “Blackmail? What skeletons could an emotionally immature man of twenty-five possibly have in his closet, for crying out loud? Why would being blackmailed make the two-timing jerk not…not even want to be near me?”

After dashing a furious hand over her eyes, Mac started
ranting and raving up and down the length of the bedroom while plotting. Watching her agitation, I refrained from logically pointing out that there’s no age limit on stupidity. Mac was really worked up, but I knew she was mostly worried sick under all that anger.

Turn
ed out, lucky me was the only person with half a brain that Mac trusted to confide her humiliating suspicions regarding Diego.

I agree
d, how could I possibly say no to play detective after being so buttered up?

So I sighed and gave i
n gracefully to the inevitable.

“I think you’re
mistaken that Diego is messing around, Mac, because I believe he loves you. However, something is hinky and I will investigate,” I held up a hand when she whirled to face me with a big smile, “but only if you make a deal.”

The eagerness dimming on her face, Mac crossed her arms and narrowed her
pretty eyes. “What deal?”

I crossed my arms
, too. “There’s no way I’m investigating alone. I know it’s hard for you, but the deal is I get to tell Jazy and Tre J. You know they’ll keep their mouths shut.”

Mac looked down in thought for a second, biting her lip. She muttered
sulkily, “Tre’s okay, but Jazy thinks Diego’s a boy-toy.”