In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod) (49 page)

Pam love
d to dance as much as I do. We threw off our shoes, turned on the TV, and played music videos. Very loud music videos. Pam and I danced our hearts out in the living room to every song we could find that had a fast beat and was sung by happy, pissed off women. Pam preferred to smile and laugh over agonizing her angst, and this trait was another tick high in the pro column of being friends.

Her favorite
song was, “Gonna Get Over You”, and I had to agree this music video made man trouble seem like something girls should welcome, not cry over.

One of the songs
we played at our impromptu dance party really inspired us. We came up with the fun idea that we should perform a dance for Anna at her shower tomorrow. In fact, as her two oldest friends, we both agreed it wasn’t merely a fun idea, but our sacred duty to do so. Mac had wanted Anna’s friends and family to personally make something for Anna, as well as buy something if we chose, so this plan complemented the vibe of the shower.

I
would still be giving Anna the selection of organic spices I ground and blended for grilling different types of food. I’d found the cutest teal blue spice jars that Anna will die over, and created labels centered around using the monogram Anna and Reg had designed for their wedding invitations.

Pam
wouldn’t tell me what she made for Anna, claiming it’s a surprise. I patiently explained several times that the surprise needed only to be Anna’s and not mine, but she held firm. Resolve like that was yet another tick in Pam’s pro column because it’s important to be able to depend on your friends to save you from yourself.

We
decided on costumes, choreographed our dance, and practiced our selected song for two solid hours. Pam started dragging ass and I got her settled into my old bedroom on the bunk beds. She giggled at the bunks and claimed top. I reminded her we’re grownups now and I don’t actually sleep in the bottom bunk anymore.

Luke’s parents w
ere coming tomorrow and got dibs on the guest bedroom. A kind hostess would offer Pam that bed tonight, but I explained that I was too lazy to change all the bedding again in the morning, and Pam understood that logic perfectly.

I also explained
that since I napped earlier that day, I wasn’t tired. I was taking a notebook up to the third floor to do some brainstorming, so if Pam should happen to hear noisy thuds or voices there was nothing to freak over.

Pam didn’t question the plural on voices, since she wouldn’t think it odd to hear me talking to myself with different accents like she loves to do, but she was curious what I was brainstorming.

“I’m thinking about doing some remodeling up there,” I answered, vaguely.

“Terrific!” Pam’s into decorating. “I
love that open space. Are you thinking of a dance studio?”

I stare
d at her open, freckled face smiling with interest while waiting expectantly for the details and I grinned back. “I wasn’t, but that’s a super cool idea, Pam! Thanks!”

If this doesn’t sound like two women emotionally devastated
by the events of the past evening, it’s because we resolved Pam’s problems by the time we got halfway home. Mine might be a little trickier to resolve.

Back at
Porterhouse, and after the years it took us to get up that aisle and exit the reception hall, I thought we’d leave that restaurant in the dust so fast heads would spin, but Pam wanted to use the restroom.

At Pam’s request for some privacy, I stood outside the bathroom door to redirect any traffic until
she was done. That’s where John Smith found me one minute later.

He didn’t hesitate with a
ny preamble but snarled, “Where’s Pam?”

“Excuse me.”
I held up a hand, turned my head, and coughed into my hand. I lied and said, “Sorry. She’s getting the jeep.”

He demanded, “What did you mean by everything you said
in there?”

I
told the truth and answered seriously, without inflection, “Luke asked for your help in his revenge plot and you agreed to deliberately seduce Pam to ruin her marriage. It didn’t matter at first, since in your mind Pam didn’t matter while Luke is your brother and you owed him. By the time it did matter, you were the one fucked. The choices you’ve made in your life, especially over the last two or three weeks, were pretty hard to live down. Tonight you came to guard Luke’s back. You knew Pam was going to hate you after tonight, but you still came here. That’s because you gave your word to one of the few people in the world that you actually care about. So why aren’t you in there doing that?”

John waved in irritation. “He’s fine. They all love him. I swear that freak Carter
is hot for his ass still, despite what Luke did.”

We looked at each other
. We both knew the other thought this was outrageously funny in a terrible way, but we weren’t going to laugh together.

John stated simply, “I love her, Anabel. Help me.”

I shrugged. “Help yourself.”

John swore
and cried, “You could tell her just what you told me! She’d believe the truth coming from your mouth, but it would sound like a line coming from mine. You have influence with all your friends and can tell her what to do. Help me out here!”

“
John, it’s because I don’t tell my friends what to do that I do have influence.”

He kicked the wall with his foot. Hard. “
Goddamn, what should I do then?”

“You have to tell her
about what you did, you filthy snake. That’s one reason why I pity you.”

I made
circling motions of huge breasts sticking out and then held up my fingers to indicate tiny breasts and mouthed, “Pam!”

John
frowned a little at my coyness, but he knew right away what I meant. He’s an expert on woman in order to exploit them. He knows their complexes and their body image issues.

“Pam’s perfect!”
John swore again, now really worried. “I didn’t know then how I felt, okay? I did not know!”

I
spoke the cold, hard truth. “Spare me. You knew you loved Pam, but were scared and you freaked. You went out and did your worst which is what you do best. Why should I help you with my friend when you might go do it again?”

John swearing
was vicious this time. “Nothing scares me, you bitch.”

“That woman in
…out in the parking lot getting my jeep scares you to death, you poor bastard.”

John closed his eyes
and rubbed his face with his hands. “You’re right, okay? She does scare me.” Still closed, his voice lowered to a whisper. “Pam’s so little and I’ve hurt her.” His eyes flashed open and he laughed sadly. “You’re wrong about one thing, Bel. There are not even a few people I care about in this world. I’ve never loved anyone like I do Pam and I want her to be happy. I give you my word.”

I cheerfully lie
d. “Okay, this is all I can think of that might help. Give Pam tonight to settle down. Find her tomorrow. Tell her the truth about three weeks ago, Snake Man, and pray she forgives you.” I smiled a little ruthlessly. “I know I wouldn’t, but then again, Pam’s not the bitch I am. She’s a sweet little sucker that fell for your jive ass lines once already, so give her your word, not me.”

John breathe
d again. “She is sweet. Okay, I can do that. I think. Jesus.” Hands on his head, he paced back and forth, adding absently, “You are a bitch, Axelrod, but your Luke’s bitch, so we’re stuck with each other.”

I
snorted and told the truth. “Ha! Speak for yourself.”

John
yipped his hyena laugh.

He
hesitated and then said, “You know, Luke didn’t mean to…”

I held up a hand and told the honest to
God truth. “The day I need you, John-Joe, to explain my man to me, please just do me a favor and give me a lobotomy.”

John
’s smile was sharp when he put a hand to his heart. “You know how I love doing favors for the ladies, Bel.”

I
smirked and John turned to go, but I said softly, “Oh, and John?

He lift
ed his brows and his soulful, golden-brown eyes were glistening, but I know it’s the lighting.

“Polemic?” I
grinned broadly. “I owe you some candy, dude. Solid gold star!”

Amused,
he mocked in a falsetto, “Thank you, Ms. Ethical.”

The minute he turn
ed the corner, I pushed the door open further. I had already opened it a crack with the toe of my high heel during my coughing fit.

“Well
Pammie, did you hear all that?”

She squeal
ed in answer, pulled me inside, and danced me around the open space. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

I
smiled, as she cried out, “He does love me like I thought!” She threw out her arms and sang, “He loves me, loves me, loves me!”

“
Like a rock, so it would seem,” I agreed, laughing at her inexhaustible exuberance after all that had just happened in the reception hall.

She twirl
ed me again and exclaimed, “I have to run after him, don’t I?”

I cross
ed my arms and looked at her steadily.

“No
, not good?” She was grinning happily, but calming down. “Okay, I see where it would be dumb to chase him.” She patted her curls. “Whew, what a night! You had better tell me ahead of time what Joe’s going to confess. I cannot take another surprise secret popping out, my nerves are shot.”

I tilt
ed my head. “Huh. Let me get this straight. I’m supposed to confess John-Joe’s boyfriend crimes to you. That way you don’t take your emotions out on him, but you’ll take them out on me right now? Somehow, that just doesn’t seem to add up for a Team Anabel win.”

‘No, it most certainly does not!’
sniffed the accountant voice.

‘Ah, help the poor girl out, she’s had enough
,’
encouraged the detective voice.

‘Consider me the tie-breaker. Help her,
’
intoned the mean mommy voice.

“Please, please, please, Bel!
I’ll go crazy worrying.”

“Ha! More
like you’ll drive me crazy with your worrying.” I shrugged. “Okay, but you asked for it. John hooked up with my ex-cousin almost three weeks ago.”

Pam blinked. “
You mean Candy MacKenzie of the big…?” Her hands made enormous circling motions out in the air over her small chest.

“Yes.”

She blinked again. “You mean hooked up hooked up?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” She said slowly, hands stilling. “I heard him say it was because he was freaked and scared? By realizing he loved me?”

“So he said. You heard him.”

“You don’t believe him?” Pam asked, her hands moving anxiously in those enormous circling motions again.

I nudge
d her to quit. “It doesn’t matter what I believe. What do you believe?”

“I believe I hate it when you do that to me!” Pam retorted crossly
, hands on her hips.

I laugh
ed and patted her shoulder. “I’d hate it too, but this is your life, Pam. Only you can decide if you believe him, or in him.”

“I really hate when you’re right,” Pam muttered, pacing the bathroom.

There’s no good reply to that, only a lot of snarky ones, so I said, “Let’s get out of here before someone from the banquet comes in.” I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and shuddered. “Holy crap, my hair!” Getting out my small comb, I went swiftly to work. “I do have one piece of advice that you can take for whatever it’s worth, Pammie-poo.”

“Good
y, tell me! I love your advice! What it is it?” Pam asked eagerly, stopping her pacing to come up beside me.

“Make him suffer and work for it. Make him really, really suffer
for this one and you probably won’t have to ever again.” I took her thin shoulders and gave her a little shake. “This sounds like a commercial, but you’re worth it, Pam. You deserve to be treated like a queen, so make damn sure he never forgets it!”

She sho
t a fist in the air and yelled, “Yes! I can do that! Hell, my husband’s been in St. Paul fucking young male prostitutes that look like a dead boy for years, so how bad is it that my new boyfriend screwed a giant-titted, scary woman one time against that?”

“Well, there you go,” I agreed, amicably.
Not quite what I had in mind for Pam to comprehend her own worth, but it was a start.

Instead of driv
ing a wailing woman home to Northfield, Pam chattered brightly about how she was going to make John suffer. I don’t think Pam and I are on the same page when it comes to making men suffer, but for a woman that just started having sex, she’s pretty inventive.

By unspoken mut
ual consent we didn’t hash over Luke’s revenge on Carter, or poor Tommy Sorensen’s death. I’m not sure of Pam’s reasons, other than being totally wrapped up in her new love and done with her old life with the Ogelbachen’s, but I didn’t want to talk about it with anybody except Luke. Despite Luke having just told one hundred and fifty people, it still seemed to be too painful and too personal a topic for me to discuss casually with friends.