In Love with My Brother's Best Friend: Complete Box Set (17 page)

Tina

I
couldn't believe Jackson caught me in that lie. It was so stupid to
think I could play it off. We'd almost made it too. It was honestly
just minutes away and we would have been in the clear. Sure, I was
going to see my parents the next morning, but Jackson wouldn't have
been there. He couldn't keep his mouth shut, and neither could I.
When I heard him yell and Chris and heard the sound of his fist
meeting Chris' face, I couldn't believe it. I think part of me was
confused on why he'd even stick up for me when he never gave a shit
before.

My
mind went to what the guy from school said at the reception. I'd
always thought Tim was the one making my dating life miserable. His
friends would act like I was the grossest thing on the planet. I
never knew what he told them. Finding out it wasn't always him messed
with my head. Jackson was blocking my dating life all the way from
college. I actually liked the guy I stood up with and wanted to go
out with him in high school, but he had treated me like I was
invisible. Hearing him say he wanted to ask me out but was threatened
by Jackson really pissed me off.

I
let out a huff and fell back onto the sand as the tears poured from
my eyes.

“
Fuck,”
I yelled out into the air, as my hands slammed against the ground
next to me. “Asshole.”

I
knew I had to replace Chris' phone, and that made me even more upset.
It wasn't the cheapest phone either. The poor guy had a busted up lip
because of my childish behavior. He'd done me a favor, and it bit him
in the ass.

I
thought I heard a noise and jerked my head up to look around, but
there wasn't anyone there. It was getting darker by the minute. I let
my head fall back against the sand and closed my eyes again. The
tears weren't stopping. Everything was coming to the surface.

How
was I going to face my family, I wondered? My mom and dad knew I'd
slept with Jackson. I could only imagine what they thought of me. Tim
was probably disappointed in his little sister. What a joke. He'd
been with several girls in high school. Why was I feeling bad about
sleeping with someone once I'd turned eighteen? At least I wouldn't
have to see Jackson again. That would suck even more than facing my
parents and brother. Maybe I could visit with my mom and dad without
Tim being there. He'd probably be flying off to who knows where with
Renee. She was flashing around some kind of plane tickets Jackson had
bought them. Would they still go, I wondered? If he was as upset as
Chris said, there was no way he'd still take that trip.

I
felt like such an idiot. Who fakes having a boyfriend when they're
almost thirty? Me, that's who. Jackson probably thought I was a
complete loser. He was probably laughing and patting himself on the
back for being able to still fuck with me. I could only imagine what
he must have thought of me.

One
more day, I thought. I could get through lunch with my parents. Then
I'd go home and never come back. They were probably all ashamed of me
and my behavior at the reception. I cried out into the air again and
sat up with my eyes closed, my elbows on my knees, and my face in my
hands.

“
Why
do I still let you do this to me?” I asked out loud. “What
the fuck is wrong with me?”

I
thought about Jackson and Tim and wondered what happened after I
left. What did Tim say? What did my parents say? Shit! Jackson's
parents were horrible. I was sure that hadn't changed. My parents
were a million times better to him than his were. Would my parents
treat him different? Would they stop talking to him? Would my brother
and him stop being friends? I had my life in New York. I had Jen,
Rachel, and Chris. Would he have anyone? I shouldn't have yelled that
out, I thought. It had been ten years since that had happened. There
was no reason for my family to know about it. I was just so upset
that he was judging Chris when what he had done had such a huge
impact on my life. That didn't matter to him. He obviously thought it
was okay. If not, he wouldn't have been freaking out on Chris like he
was.

“
I'm
so damn sorry, Jackie,” I whispered. “I hope you don't
lose them.”

I
opened my eyes and looked out over the water, quietly saying goodbye
to the beauty around me. I knew that when I left, I wasn't ever
coming back. It didn't mattered what happened. I needed to move on
with my life. Seeing Jackson was so much harder than I thought it
would be. I'd ruined everything. I needed to leave and not come back.
I reached down to push myself to my feet and stumbled when I heard
his voice.

“
You
shouldn't be out here alone.”

My
foot slipped in the sand, and I felt his hands grab under my arms and
pull me to my feet.

“
Shit,”
I yelled, as I pushed away from him.

“
Are
you okay?” he asked in a soft tone.

“
I'm
fine,” I snapped at him. “What are you doing out here?
How long have you been there?”

I
finally got my feet to cooperate and steadied myself. He took a step
closer, but I took one back and reached up to wipe my hands across my
face.

“
I
came looking for you,” he said.

His
hand lifted my chin, and I felt a shiver move through my body. When
my eyes connected with his, I felt like my world was caving in on me.
I couldn't breathe and gasped to get air into my lungs. The look on
his face was breaking my heart. He looked devastated and exhausted. I
knew that look wasn't for me. It was most likely from what happened
after I left, and I felt horrible about it.

“
I
was on my way back to the hotel,” I said.

He
ran his thumbs under my eyes, and I pulled away. I couldn't have him
touching me.

“
I
need to talk to you, Tiny,” he said.

“
Please
don't call me that anymore, Jackson. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't
have said anything. It just came out. I hope you and my brother are
okay. I don't blame you for being mad. It wasn't my place. I ruined
everything. I'm sorry for embarrassing you.”

“
Tiny,”
he said.

“
Stop,”
I said, as I shook my head. “It will never happen again.
Everything will be better after tomorrow. I'll fix it. I promise.”

I
turned to walk down the beach, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me
back.

“
I'm
not embarrassed. I never have been,” he said. “I need to
talk to you. I need to explain what happened before.”

I
shook my head.

“
No,”
I said. “I can't do this. I have to go. I have to get out of
here.”

I
pulled my arm hard and he let go. When I reached down to grab my
flip-flops, I heard him whisper my name. I stood up and turned away
from him. As I was running away, I heard him yell out.

“
It's
not what you think. It was Tim. I did it because of Tim. Fuck, Tiny.”

I
didn't stop. I kept running until I knew he couldn't see me. Then I
kept moving until I was at my room. As soon as I walked in and the
door closed, I slid down it with my face in my hands and sobbed.

Chris
was by my side in seconds. He scooped me up, walked me to my bed, and
sat down with me still in his arms. My arms wrapped around his neck.
I knew I was soaking him, but he never complained. He just held me. I
had no idea how long I cried before the tears stopped and he pulled
back.

“
What
happened?” he asked. “Did he hurt you?”

“
No,”
I answered. “He wanted to talk, but I took off. I couldn't look
in his eyes. He'd suck me right in. I'd end up thinking he cared, and
I can't let that happen. I need to see my parents in the morning and
get out of here. I need to go home. I'm never coming back here again.
I need to get on with my life.”

“
Tina,”
he said. “I'm not sure that's the best idea. There is something
between the two of you that you need to solve before you leave here.”

“
Don't
you start too,” I said, as I shook my head at him. “I'm
going to bed.”

“
Your
phone has been going crazy since you left,” he said. “You
might want to see who it was before you go to sleep.”

“
Okay,”
I said. “Do you want to get a new phone before we fly out or
when we get home?”

He
turned and walked out of the room.

“
Don't
worry about it,” he said.

“
What
do you mean don't worry about it?” I asked, as I picked my
phone up from the bed and pulled back the covers.

“
Jackson
dropped off a new one,” he said, as he walked into the bathroom
and closed the door.

I
turned my phone on to find messages and calls from my brother. I
should have known that was coming. He probably wanted to give me a
speech about fake boyfriends and doing his best friend. I was so
afraid to call him back, but I figured if I did, he wouldn't show up
at my parents to talk about it the next day. Over the phone was much
better than in person. There was no way I wanted to see his face when
we had that conversation.

Tim:
I can't believe that just happened.

Tim:
We need to talk, Tina.

Tim:
Where the fuck are you?

Tim:
Are you okay?

I
took a huge breath in, let it out slowly, and hit the call button on
his number.

“
Shit!”
he said as soon as he picked it up.

“
Hello
to you too,” I said.

“
Do
not hello me,” he said roughly. “We need to talk.”

“
No,”
I said. “You need to go do your new wife. Why are you calling
me?”

“
You
do not drop a bomb like that and expect to be left alone, Tina. Are
you at the hotel? I'm coming over there.”

“
No,”
I yelled, as I cut him off. “You are not. If you do, I will be
gone. We can talk right now. What do you want me to say to make you
feel all gooey inside?”

“
Not
funny,” he said. “This is not a time for joking around.
Why did you introduce Chris as your boyfriend if he wasn't? What the
hell happened between you and Jackson?”

“
Chris
is my best friend. I felt a little stressed and blurted it out before
I thought about it. There was no way I was going to take it back. I
didn't expect any of you to see him kissing someone else.”

“
You
don't have to be with someone,” he said. “We wouldn't
have pressured you or anything.”

“
That's
my problem, not yours,” I said.

“
What
about Jackson? That fucker is going to get an ass kicking. I'm not
letting this go.”

“
I
don't see how that should matter to you either,” I said. “It
was ten years ago, Tim. He's your best friend and a part of your
family, our family.”

“
Was
my best friend. I should have known. I can't believe you kept it from
me. He should have been dealt with then.”

“
Seriously,”
I said sarcastically. “You're going to let something that
happened between us that long ago ruin your friendship. That's the
stupidest thing I've ever heard. It wasn't like it was all his fault.
I was there too. I could have walked away. He was the one I wanted to
be with my first time.”

“
What?”
he screamed into the phone. “That's it. I asked that fucker one
thing. He couldn't do it.”

“
You
better cut your shit, Tim. You will not say another word about it. It
is none of your business. I was eighteen. He tried to stop, but I
pushed him to keep going. I don't regret being with him that day.
What were my chances of being with anyone ever? I knew you were
blocking me from talking to guys. I had no idea he was worse than
you. What do you mean you asked him one thing?”