In Loving Memory (13 page)

Chapter 12

January 1820

Standing in the early morning chill on the bleak quayside at Greenock, Sheena, Fergus and her children gazed up in fascination at the tall ship on which they were to sail. For about the tenth time in as many minutes, young James, his face flushed in a fever of excitement, asked, “Mammy, is it true, really true are us yins goin on that big ship?”

Fully aware not only of her son’s excitement, but also his barely concealed terror of the unknown ... so much had happened since his father’s suicide, Sheena deposited her bundles on the damp quayside and gathering up into her arms her wee boy, she tried to reassure him. “Aye, son, it is indeed true and once they’ve let all the people of quality on board, then at last, at long last, it’ll be our turn.”

“People of quality, Mammy, who’s them?”

Sheena put him back down on the quayside. “See them folk in the fine velvet clothes, fancy hats, furs and ‘furbelows’.”

He looked in the direction she pointed.

Sheena nodded. “That’s them, the very ticket. And would ye just take a gander at their children with their fur-trimmed coats, hats and muffs, must have cost a pretty penny all that finery, Ah’ll be bound.”

Catriona who wasn’t quite tall enough to see over the heads of their fellow would-be passengers, then started jumping up and down in a vain attempt to catch sight of the passing show. Fergus, seeing this, winked saucily at Sheena, and lifted Catriona up on to his shoulders. As she ooh-and aahed in wonder at the passing fashion show, almost to himself he murmured, “Those toffs are also known as oor betters, but mark my words, once we’re all in Canada, let’s see how much better they are at turning to do a spot of hard work as pioneers in the new country. When that day comes, they’ll just be common or garden workers, same as the rest of us.”

Hearing this diatribe, Sheena elbowed him in the ribs. “Sh, hush now, Fergus, just be a wee bit careful with such talk, at least until we’re safely aboard and on the high seas.”

He lifted Catriona down from her perch. “You’re right, Sheena, we’ve been lucky so far, but we’re not on the ship yet. In fact we could still be a long way from getting safely on board. I hate being the one to tell you, but it has been known on many occasions for unscrupulous folk to sell the self-same boat tickets two or three times over. If the Captain should then decide that he’s overloaded with passengers, ye can guess what happens then.”

To take her mind off the terrifying prospect of not being allowed to board the ship despite having paid their fare tickets, Sheena let her gaze wander around the quayside. It was black with the heaving sprawling mass of humanity like themselves. In the long snaking line-up, every man, woman and child was dressed in what was little short of rags. And scattered on the wooden planks of the quayside lay the tied-up bundles of their, precious to them but still decidedly meagre, earthly goods. On some of these more robust bundles, weepy, irritable toddlers sat disconsolately kicking their feet while the more adventurous children in their ranks played a spirited game of leapfrog over any convenient object.

There were shouts of admonition from anxious mothers desperate to keep their brood safely gathered together as they waited the long-delayed word of command from the ship’s officers to approach the gangway. As Sheena went on surveying this motley throng, she was all too aware not only of the noise, but also of the stench of unwashed, flea-bitten, flea-ridden humanity which now hemmed her in on all sides. Despite herself, the thought went through her head. Dear God, I hope we’ll have a decent amount of space on board this ship, assuming we ever get on it in the first place. But come to think of it, mibbe they don’t call them coffin ships for nothin, mibbe that refers to the limited amount of space allocated to each person? And if we are all to be herded together like cattle, God knows how Ah’ll stand it, being huddled together with hundreds of stinkin people.

Just at that moment, a rowdy group of some of the older children bumped against Sheena, causing her almost to fall. “Here youse yins, that’s enough of that, behave yersels, or ye’11 feel ma hand aff the side of yer jaw, see how ye like that.”

Another would-be passenger standing in front of Sheena, swivelled her head to say, “Quite right, hen, we’re miserable enough standin here like eejits, withoot a bunch of weans pushin us over next.”

Sheena acknowledged the woman’s support with a sigh and a nod of her head. “And by the looks of some of those weans, a bit dicht wi a face flannel and a bit of soap wouldnae go wrong either. Ah might have lived in a shack, but Ah was aye clean, cleanliness bein next tae Godliness and all that.”

Sheena would have been content to let the conversation lapse at that point, but the other woman seemed equally determined to keep on.

“Uch Ah suppose it’s no wonder the weans is gettin a bit too boisterous, they’re fed-up, same as us. A damned disgrace making us wait all this time. Why should we have tae wait till all them high-falutin folk get on first. But what can we dae aboot it, nothin, bloody nothing. But jist you wait till we all get tae Canada, things’ll be different then. A different kettle of fish. Nane of yer damned class distinctions there.”

As the woman’s words seemed to hang in the air with Sheena refusing to comment, finally it was Fergus who leant across and said, “Ah can see ye hold the same views as myself, and like me, ye’re hopeful of greater social equality in the New World.”

The woman opened her eyes wider and took a closer look at Fergus. “Oh aye, Ah wasnae eavesdroppin or nothin earlier, but I did hear ye spoutin along those lines tae yer wife a bit earlier on. But see me, Ah’m no just hopin for such a change in Canada. It’s no just airy-fairy hopes with me. Ye see, Ah already know that anyone who’s prepared to work hard in Canada can, from the word go, count himself every bit as good as his master. All equal oot there so they are.”

Sheena alarmed that if the woman had overheard Fergus’s earlier diatribe about his Radical views, then there was no telling who else might also have heard and any one person in the crowd could then denounce him to the authorities in the hope of getting a reward for turning in such a wanted man.

With these alarming thoughts racing through her brain and determined at all costs to keep Fergus out of any such further discussion, she quickly suggested that he take the children for a wee walk along to the end of the pier. Knowing full well what such a ruse was all about, Fegus marshalled the children and with a parting, quizzical look at Sheena and a friendly nod to their gossipy neighbour, he turned away.

Once he was safely out of earshot, Sheena leant closer to the woman with the question, “What ye were saying earlier sounds to me as if ye already really know what’s what over in Canada, am Ah right?”

The younger woman nodded her head vigorously. “Aye, too bloody right Ah dae. Ye see ma man’s already out there. Earnin good money digging ditches, canals, and even layin railways. Mind ye, Ah don’t know that the Irish is any more welcome than they ever were here in Glasgow, but at least over there they will employ my man, all the different nationalities, all in the same melting pot, so that’s something to be grateful for, Ah suppose.”

Still wary of giving away the slightest bit of information as to her own reason for leaving Scotland, Sheena made an effort to concentrate on her neighbour’s story. “Yes, Ah dae know the Irish have always had a very hard time of it in Glasgow, but Ah’m no being nosey, but ye don’t sound all that Irish yersel.”

The woman threw back her head and bellowed with laughter and with such gusto that several people turned round and smiled, obviously glad that somebody could still see the funny side of life while standing frozen to Greenock’s windswept quayside.

Wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes, the woman said, “Me Irish, that’s a laugh. Naw, hen Ah’m as Scottish as haggis, porridge and whisky. And just because Ah merrit a Paddy frae the Emerald Isle, that hasne turned me intae nae leprechaun or a shamrock.”

Here the woman held out her hand and as Sheena clasped the work-worn hand in hers, the younger woman grinned and said, “Ma name’s Angusina, by the way. Ah was named for my Hielan gransfaither, but maist folk and all my freens, they just call me Gussie.”

Sheena smiled her response. “Then Gussie it’ll be. Ah’m Sheena Bell and my ... er … my husband, he’s called Fergus.”

Gussie appeared to digest this information, then opening her eyes really wide, she cupped her mouth to shield her words from any curious eavesdroppers, she whispered. “Fergus? Mind ye, Ah’m just goin by the way he’s been spouting on aboot social rights and stuff, oh my God, he wouldnae be Fergus Bell. the Fergus Bell by any chance now would he?”

The look on Sheena’s face was confirmation enough, and undeterred, Gussie went on,

“My brothers, my uncles and even my auld faither, they’ve all been raving on for months aboot some wonderful speaker for the Radical cause, now gone intae hiding, but a real fighter for the rights of the common working man. Oh my God, Fergus Bell, he’s famous, so he is and many a time my brother Duncan heard him speechifying at Glasgow Green, bloody marvellous, it seemed.”

Sheena cast a wary glance around their immediate neighbours, then she held a warning finger to her lips before saying, “Just one thing, Gussie, then Ah’ll say no more on the subject, I think you can now make a good guess as to why my ... er ... my husband and oor family, why we’re leaving Scotland. And why we are so desperate to get on that boat and safely out of harm’s way.”

For a woman who so obviously loved the sound of her own voice and to whom gossiping and blethering were as lifeblood, for once Gussie appeared to be totally bereft of words. She stared and went on staring at Sheena as though stunned and weighted down with the burden of the secret which had just been shared with her. Finally, Gussie leant even closer, and said in a voice choked with emotion, “Listen, Sheena, if ever we dae get on this bloody boat, one thing’s for certain sure, you, me and wur faimlies we’ll all stick close the gither, safety in numbers and all that and if Ah can help ye in any way, it’ll be my privilege tae dae just that. Any man that’s spoke up for the workers, him and his family deserves all the help that’s goin.”

At a loss to know how to reply adequately to such a generous and instant offer of friendship, Sheena gave a tremulous smile.

Thus encouraged Gussie pumped her hand vigorously to add weight and proper emphasis to her offer of assistance.

“Aye, Sheena, don’t you worry yersel once we set sail, Ah’ll be stickin close to you and your bairns. Ah’ll stick closer tae ye than shite tae a hairy blanket.”

Sheena who could swear as heartily as any navvy when the occasion demanded it, could feel herself wince at such a crude description of undying friendship. At the same time, she wondered if perhaps she had been overhasty in in her acceptance of a travelling companion.

Once aboard, in the scramble for bed space, Sheena found that there was indeed safety in numbers and between the two women and Fergus, they managed to get as much space as they possibly could, with the two families close together in a corner of the hold to which they’d been directed.

On asking an officer if they would all be thus confined for the entire duration of the voyage, he told them that if and when weather conditions permitted, the Captain would allow children and those adults who wished to take advantage of the special facility to climb the ladders of the hold and get out on deck for a brief respite for a breath of fresh air. Sheena and Gussie took one look at the steep climb which such an outing would necessitate and as Gussie said, “Nae mountaineerin for me, thanks all the same. But the days that the weans are up top on deck, we’ll mibbe get a wee rest tae oorsells doon here and we can aye use the time tae tidy up roonaboot the beds and that.”

Sheena nodded. “Good thinkin, Gussie, that’ll dae us fine.”

Chapter 13

With the children for once safely up on deck far above the stinking, overcrowded hold in which they were existing on their nightmare journey, Sheena and her friend Gussie chatted away happily together as they did their best to tidy up and clean the cramped space they’d been allocated as their living quarters on the ship. As Gussie squeezed her ample bulk between the makeshift beds, she looked over at Sheena, grinned and said, “Nae bloody wonder they call these boats ‘coffin beds’ ... Honest tae god, ye’d have mair room in yer coffin.”

Sheena laughed. “Aye, ye could be right at that, hen, but let’s hope it’ll be many a lang day afore we put the truth of that theory tae the test.”

As the two friends giggled , one of the other women passengers sitting nearby on the edge of a bed, with head in hands, looked up and with a sour expression on her face said, “Is there nae peace tae be had on this bloody boat? Glad tae hear ye two eejits can get a laugh out of this nightmare journey. What with storms, seasickness, poor mothers screaming in the agonies of childbirth behind a blanket screen, us all herded in like cattle, it’s hell on earth, and certainly damn all that’s funny. Anyway, for yer information, they’re cried coffin ships because they carry us away from Scotland to oor last resting-place and nine times oota ten that’s a watery grave in the Atlantic or some ither Ocean.”

Sheena and Gussie exchanged meaningful glances and Gussie as though by now hell-bent on verbal battle, planked her hands on hips, glared at the Moaning Minnie and said, “It’s just one helluva good job that us yins werenae needin for tae be cheered up, that’s real depressing what ye’ve just telt us.”

She paused and noticing that a man had joined ‘Moanin Minnie’, Gussie said, “Anyway it cannae be all doom and gloom. Lots of folk make it safely tae Canada, America or Australia. Therr’s ma man, ma ain man for instance, he was one of them, arrived jacose as ye like in Canada, got a new job, a new life, doing great and ...”

Moanin Minnie got to her feet. “Listen you if Ah hear one mair word aboot your sainted husband, Ah’ll be having a fit of the screaming habjabs. Anyway, having listened tae you gitterin on for days on end, seems tae me nae bloody wonder yer man’s happy noo ... for any new life far away from ye would bound tae be great.”

Sheena by now all too aware that before long this could develop into a free-for all and hoping to be the peace-maker, she gave what she hoped was a fairly ingratiating smile. “Ah think we should mibbe just let matters rest there.”

Thank goodness Fergus is up on deck with the children, Sheena thought.

Aloud she said, “Sorry about all that. Anyway, I’d been about tae tell ye that lots of people do make it safely to Canada or wherever. And anyway, even if there should be disaster at sea, even if oor ain ship ever did get intae difficulties at the height of a storm, seein as these emigrant ships sail in convoys ...”

Gussie interrupted. “That’s right, Sheena, my man wrote and telt me, once he’d arrived in Canada, of course, and got a new life and a new life and ...” Gussie let her words fade away as she suddenly realised how yet again she was boasting about her husband.

Sheena took up the story. “Well, if we did come a cropper, there would always be somebody to pick us up from one of the other convoy ships.”

Moaning Minnie’s husband appeared to digest this nougat of information, then said, “Mphm, ye could be right at that Missus, but the way Ah heard it was ... if any other boat picks ye up hauf-drooned, like as not they’d take ye back tae Greenock your home port, seein as how ye hadnae paid ony fare, ticket money tae yer recuers.”

He turned to his wife “There ye are then, hen, all sorted oot and no worth ye getting in a stushie aboot something that’s no gonnae happen anyway.” His wife, smirking up at him said, “Fine weel Ah knew Ah could count on you, Archie, no a bad soul, are ye?”

As he led his wife well away from Sheena and her friend, a frantic voice from the other side of the hold screamed, “Fire, Fire, oh dear God ... look at that bed, it’s on fire. Fire. Fire.”

As the urgent call was taken up and passengers immediately started running hither and thither, a seaman whose face could only be dimly made out peering down into the hold yelled, “Ye’ve got bags of sand, buckets of water down there, use them and be bloody quick aboot it.”

With that, even as frantic, fear-crazed passengers were already trying to scramble their way up the steep ladder, with a noise like a clap of thunder, the covers of the hold were slammed shut.

Sheena thought, thank God the bairns are safe up on deck and Fergus is with them. Even if he cannae save himself, he’ll somehow get the bairns to safety. Oh God, is this what my life has all been about?

Sheena looked in horror at the scene of chaos all around them. People who’d fallen were being trampled underfoot as others fought desperately to get a foothold on the ladder, while those on the top rungs were hammering desperately at the overhead hold’s cover, now presumably locked and bolted on the other side.

The flames still gaining in ferocity made more and more futile any efforts to put out the fire.

Sheena thought, if it’s true that Hell awaits the sinner, Sweet Jesus, Ah’m here areadies; ma journey is over.