In the Brief Eternal Silence (22 page)

Your Loving Grandmother

The frown St. James had begun reading with
became more pronounced. “Bugger take it,” he whispered beneath his
breath. “I should not have left her alone with that wily old lady,
and if she really knows the truth of it now. . .” Without going
through the rest of his mail upon his desk, he turned and left the
room, going to order his horse saddled.

Miss Murdock had nearly dozed off in the
carriage as she and a tired Duchess returned just after noon from
the dressmaker's shop. So it was that she was in no mood to fight
with St. James when she came through the salon door and saw him
standing with his back to her before the fireplace.

“Oh, God help me!” Miss Murdock exclaimed.
“But I am in no mood for you and your obstinacy. Unless you have
come to tell me that upon reflection, you have seen the error of
your ways and are now, at last, willing to call this whole absurd
affair off, then I swear I will turn and walk directly out of this
room I have just entered.”

At these words, the man at the fireplace did
turn, to reveal not St. James, but a very similar younger version
of him. The eyes were a pale blue rather than gold, and the face
was perhaps more round instead of angling in sharp planes around
cheeks and chin, but the resemblance was very pronounced all the
same, and Miss Murdock gasped as much from surprise as from
embarrassment. “Oh, my,” she said with sudden weakness. “But you
are not—! Well, never mind who you are not. May I ask who you
are?”

The blue eyes twinkled with mischief. “I am
not St. James, who is my cousin, by-the-by. You are not the first
to make that mistake, and as usual, the person making the mistake
is angry with him, so I am forced to take the brunt of the abuse
that is intended for the duke. I am Earl Andrew Larrimer, at your
service, ma'am,” and he bowed and clicked his heels. “And may I
have the honor of your name?”

Miss Murdock clasped at the neck of her new
red and white striped afternoon gown. “I'm sorry! Of course! I am
Miss Sara Elizabeth Murdock and of course you must be here to visit
your grandmother, and here I am demanding your name when I am but a
guest.”

He came forward, and she noticed that he was
in fact, taller than the Duke of St. James, and that he was
bulkier, but the hair was the same dark shade of brown that
bordered on blackness. “Please do not apologize, Miss Murdock. As I
have said, it happens often.”

“Then you have my condolences,” Miss Murdock
answered without thought. “For I am sure it has been very miserable
listening to the many tirades that were intended for your cousin's
head.”

Earl Larrimer laughed at that. “Indeed, it
has been. But very interesting also. So tell me, Miss Murdock, what
has my cousin done to get your lovely face so flushed?”

Miss Murdock backed toward the door. “Oh, he
has just been as he usually is, I suspect. For I have not known him
above two days.”

“And he has you so angry already?” Earl
Larrimer asked. “And that time frame does seem rather short for an
'affair',” he added with a teasing note to his voice. “But my
cousin has been known to move quickly when he sees something he
wants, and you, Miss Murdock, if not quite in his usual way, are
extremely. . . interesting.”

“I assure you, I am not,” Miss Murdock
replied, feeling a good deal of disgust at herself for being
intimidated by a boy but a few years older than herself, and
thinking to herself that she must be rid of this dress for when she
had worn her own clothing, she had never been subject to anyone's
interest whatsoever and that this experience was very
disconcerting. “And I used the word 'affair' in the sense of
situation, not—not as you would unwisely imply.”

“I see,” he said, stopping in the center of
the room much to Lizzie's relief. “I apologize if I misunderstood.
I lief to admit I would find it unlikely for St. James to park one
of his females at his own grandmother's home.”

“Yes. It would be very ridiculous, indeed,”
Miss Murdock agreed.

“What precisely are your dealings with my
cousin, Miss Murdock, if I may ask?”

Miss Murdock searched about in her mind for a
suitable answer but could find none readily available. “Why, he,
uh, has prevailed upon his grandmother to take me in for a short
stay as I have not been to London before,” she answered at last,
sounding less than certain of it herself.

Andrew raised his eyebrows. “Oh. Your coming
out, is that it? Though I thought you to be a little older than
that, no offense meant, of course.”

“Of course,” Miss Murdock replied. “Indeed, I
am twenty years old, so I really do not like to refer to it as my
'coming out'. In fact, I do not expect at all to go to any of the
events that are normally associated with that phrase, as I am not
hanging out for a husband at all. I am merely here for, as I said,
a short stay. Nothing more, I assure you.”

“Pity, that, Miss Murdock. I would rather
look forward to going to those beastly evenings at Almacks if I
thought I might meet someone there as glowing as you.”

“Your compliments only serve to make me think
you are somewhat less than perfectly honest, sir,” Miss Murdock
returned. “But I expect that flattering tongue of yours will have
enough females fluttering about you to keep you entertained even in
my absence.”

Earl Larrimer laughed. Then he said with
refreshing candor, “I go it too brown, then, you think, Miss
Murdock? I confess, my cousin has often advised me not to be too
gushing and I must admit that although his approach seems rather
astringent, it has the most damnedable results.”

“I am sure it does,” Miss Murdock returned in
a dry voice. “But I beg you to not become too like him, for he does
go a little to the extremes, I think, in being inscrutable and
unfeeling.”

“Those are harsh words, Miss Murdock, even
for my cousin. I can see he has you very angry indeed. Are you sure
you will not tell me what he has done to get you so, for I may be
able to help, you know.”

Miss Murdock, deducing that Earl Larrimer was
in fact, fairly harmless, relaxed enough to move to the settee and
seat herself on it. “No. Oh, no. I assure you, he has done nothing
very dastardly after all, for I managed to reason him out of the
worst of it. I am afraid it is just his high-handed manner that
sets badly with me.”

“Ah, yes,” Andrew returned, settling himself
in turn in the wing-backed chair that his grandmother normally sat
in when she was in the room. “My mother is always enraged with his
behavior and I think that really it is more the unrepentant
attitude he takes than the actual actions themselves.”

“That would be Lady Lydia?” Miss Murdock
asked.

“Yes. You've met her?”

“Just this morning at breakfast. She does
seem very proper.”

“Too proper!” Andrew sighed. “I've been out
of University for a year now, and she still insists on knowing my
every move. I would like to re-open my father's townhouse here in
London and reside there. You must understand, it is rather hard to
be, well, as a man should be, when you are sharing an establishment
with your mother and your elderly grandmother.”

Miss Murdock let out a small giggle. “I
understand,” she said. “My father was quite eager to take St. James
up on his offer to—to let me visit here, for I fear he was in the
same predicament, having a daughter about the place, I mean. The
very sensible routines I prescribed to keep him healthy and whole
seemed to irk him considerably. He would much rather eat at odd
hours and drink late into the night over a hand of cards with his
cronies than worry about his daughter alone in the house with
naught for protection but an old groom.”

“Oh,” Earl Larrimer exclaimed as he laughed.
“That is sorry. I can see that even my cousin would be moved to
kindness over that state of affairs.”

“You see!” Miss Murdock pointed out. “You
have just used that word and you meant nothing disreputable by it!
And strangely enough, your mother said much the same thing, only I
am afraid it was because of my appearance rather than any knowledge
of my wayward, widower father. I very much fear that St. James more
than likely took pity on my father, being unable to do as he
wished, than on me at any rate.”

They were both laughing at these sayings when
Andrew sobered and said, “But, Miss Murdock, there is nothing at
all wrong with your appearance. You are interesting and
glowing.”

“Pshaw,” Miss Murdock said, not at all
intimidated now as she had been before. “And I assure you it is
only an illusion created by a good dressmaker, for if I were as I
normally am, you would not think so.”

“Well, neither are half the other chits that
are in society then, I assure you,” he countered. “And you do not
see them putting a disclaimer upon themselves that once you marry
one of them and get them home that mayhaps they are not all you
thought they were. Neither are the gentlemen, for that matter, and
I should not tell you our secrets, but you really are the most easy
girl to talk to I have ever met,” and he nodded at her look of
disbelief. “No, Miss Murdock, I am not going brown, I assure you,
but am merely being honest, for they mostly wish to talk about the
most insipid things. If they were only interested in something
worth being interested in, like dueling or race horsing—”

“Oh, but I am interested in race horsing,”
Miss Murdock broke in, rather proud of herself. “In fact that is
how I met your cousin, for he took an interest in my horse,
Gold-Leaf-Lying-in-the-Sun. And as I am given to understand that he
owns Behemoth, I am very flattered indeed, for that shows he has a
good eye for horseflesh.”

“Indeed he does, Miss Murdock, for that is
his only other passion other than seeking the murderer of his
parents.” He stopped abruptly. “Oh, should not have mentioned that,
I am sure. Not common knowledge, I don't believe.” And he looked
very guilty indeed.

Miss Murdock was quiet for a moment, all the
laughter going out of her, which was rather sad when she had been
having such a splendid time with her new friend. “I have already
come to understand that,” she said, because she could not bear to
see him so obviously silently berating himself. “So please do not
feel that you have betrayed your cousin in any way.”

“Well,” he said, his head hanging in
dejection. “I am glad that I have not told you anything you did not
know or at least suspected, but it was still damned careless of me,
for I am sure he has tried very hard to be circumspect as it would
not do to tip off the person he seeks, especially if St. James
should ever get a good lead onto him.” He raised his head and the
bantering young man that had been before her a moment ago was quite
gone, and he reminded her suddenly most painfully of his cousin.
“That is why I most wish to reside independently from my mother and
grandmother,” he told Miss Murdock in a sudden outpouring of
confidence. “I would so much wish to help St. James in his task,
and I can not feel as though I can do it from here for I am afraid
of putting my mother and the Duchess in any danger.”

“Oh, you can not!” Miss Murdock sprang from
her seat in her shocked dismay. She entreated the young man in
front of her. “Can you not see how utterly consumed your cousin has
become with this quest? And from what I understand, it may very
well all be futile! He would not wish you to sacrifice any chance
at happiness as he has, I can assure you of that!”

“You do not understand!” he returned with
sudden, young savagery. “For a man to go through life knowing that
there is an enemy out there that has harmed members of his family
and goes yet unpunished! Why it can only be that you are a woman
that you would dream a man could just forget about that and go on.
It is the responsibility of every Larrimer from now until the end
of time to seek vengeance!”

“That is obscene,” Miss Murdock broke in,
wide-eyed. “Why the murderer could possibly be already dead. What
then? Do you seek out his children and punish them?”

“If what they have is a direct result of my
uncle's dying, then yes! We should at least deny them of what was
gained if we can not kill the actual perpetrator of the deed! They
can not be allowed to profit in any way from it.”

Miss Murdock felt a wave of dizziness come
over her and she sank back down onto the settee. If she had allowed
St. James to elope with her last night, had allowed him to get her,
as he said, God willing, with child, would her own son if it had
been a son, been raised on this same vengeful wrath? And my God,
what had she been thinking if these thoughts should upset her to
such a degree? She could not believe that she had been becoming
complacent, pliable, open to his suggestion of marriage!

Andrew was on his knees in front of her and
he patted her hand to induce her to open her eyes. “Miss Murdock.
Sara. I am so sorry. I do not know what came over me to make me
speak in such a manner to you. It is quite unforgivable of me. I
totally lost all sense of decorum, for I know perfectly well that
this subject is not at all suitable for a female. I pray that you
are all right! I beg that you forgive me!”

Miss Murdock sucked in a deep, calming
breath. “Lizzie,” she

said.

“I beg your pardon,” Andrew said. “What?”

“Lizzie,” Miss Murdock gave a weak smile. “My
friends call me Lizzie, so you must also. And yes, of course, I
forgive you. I am not usually so fainthearted, it just. . .
disturbs me very much to hear you talk so. I beg you to, if nothing
else, speak to your cousin of all this before you do anything on
your own. Will you promise me that, Earl Larrimer?”

“Andrew. If I am to call you Lizzie, you must
call me Andrew. And of course I will promise you that if you will
forgive me.”

“It is done. Think nothing more of it,”
Lizzie replied. “And I must really go up to my rooms, for I must
still be very tired to be behaving so missishly.”