In the Brief Eternal Silence (35 page)

“Oh, no,” Miss Murdock shook her head, even
backing away a step. To add to the expense that had already been
spent on her was just too terrifying. “That just would not do,
Tyler. That just wouldn't do at all.”

He gave her a puzzled look, spat more tobacco
juice. The uncle and nephew exchanged glances. “Well, now, Miss,”
the older groom began, “I know the Dowager Duchess can be rather
daunting, but she would be more than pleased to procure you a mount
during your stay with her.”

But Miss Murdock only shook her head again
with a wistful smile. “Thank you for trying to help, but it really
is such a small matter. I'll not bother her with it. I don't intend
to be here so long that anyone should go to all that trouble.”

“Why, miss, t'season's just beginning!” Tyler
exclaimed. “You'll have a long, enjoyable winter, and from how
nicely and ladylike you're dressed, you'll be fighting off
t'beau's. Nothin' could be more fun for you than t'have a mount
t'ride in the park each mornin' and lead those young swains on a
foolish chase.”

She laughed at the picture he presented.
“Thank you, Tyler.” She smiled, but added with frankness, “I can't
think of anything that would distress me more, however unlikely.”
She sighed, leaned against the tack room door jamb, unmindful of
getting dust on her fine new wrap that had only been delivered just
that morning. “I truly wish for a ride in the country anyway. The
park, I think, would just be a poor substitute in any event. Swains
or no swains.”

They laughed with her and she felt some of
her home sickness slip away. “Would I be making you too
uncomfortable if I just sat and listened to you both talk for
awhile?” she asked. “I do so miss being in the stables.”

“Miss,” the older groom said, “we would be
honored.” Proving his uncle's words, Tyler got up, laid his coat
across a tack trunk and offered her this seat.

Miss Murdock smiled at him, unbuttoned her
wrap in the relative warmth of the room and sat down. “Please, just
begin where you left off. I shan't interrupt,” she encouraged.

They did, and drew her out with their
nonsense until she was laughing and quite forgetful that she had
seen Tyler just last night under the most unseemly circumstances
and had never clapped eyes on his uncle until today. The hours flew
by, and it was with shock that she finally looked at her watch.
“Oh, my! I am sure they are looking for me, for it is past tea
time!” she exclaimed. “I really must go right away.”

She stood, buttoned her wrap in hurried
movements. “Thank you so much,” she said. “I don't know when I've
spent a better afternoon.”

Tyler said. “Nor we, I dare say, Miss. Now
hurry and come back anytime.”

She gave them one last grateful smile, and
hurried out of the tack room. For the first time that long
afternoon, she thought of the ordeal that awaited her that night
and sighed. Well, she had managed to push it back these past hours.
At least she had that. And the assurance that by being at Almacks
she was out of reach of St. James, who could not get vouchers!

And if he showed up with Steven knocking on
her window tonight, Miss Murdock vowed, she would not go down to
him again.

It now seemed, as she hurried up the mew,
that it was possible she really did have everything well in
control, and that instead of cursing the social schedule that the
dowager and Lady Lydia had planned for her she should be thankful
for it, for the very respectability of it would keep her out of St.
James' reach.

If St. James were even still in pursuit. If
he had taken her words seriously, would he not be better serving
himself by finding another to fill the role she so wished to avoid?
And this thought brought her up short, for there was something most
troubling in it.

“Think!” she commanded herself with
impatience, for she was standing stock-still in the mew and she was
already extremely late. She tried to push past the conflicting
emotions that, now freed, seem to batter her without mercy. Of
course, she was infatuated with him, she could not deny that. But
why should she not be? she argued with herself. Every female in
England who had ever clapped eyes on him was probably infatuated
with him to one degree or another.

It was not that, she decided. It was
something beyond emotion and squeamishness on her part. It was
something. . . logical. “Damn it!” she cried to herself. “Think of
it the way he would. Cut all the blood from it. . . what is it that
I see that makes perfect sense that he has not seen in all
his—”

But just then the sound of horse's hooves
nearly overtaking her caused her to look up, her thoughts torn
away. It was Andrew returning with speed from his excursion. He
reined in his horse just in front of her. “Lizzie,” he panted.
“Whatever are you doing out here in the mew? We are late for tea
you know, and although I knew I would be in for a lecture, I never
dreamed you would be also!”

“I was just on my way in,” she said as he
hurried to dismount. “For I was in the stables and I lost track of
the time.”

“As did I,” he said more quietly now that he
was on level with her. “Wait a spare second for me to get a groom,
and we shall go in together. A united front!” and he grinned, as
though very much taken with the idea of the two of them being
dressed down together.

“Of course,” she said. But something inside
of her mind that was still plucking away at that problem, which was
not even her problem but St. James' problem, thought maybe it's not
logical at all. Maybe it's intuitive.

Even as she was thinking this, Andrew turned
to lead his horse on into the stables. Miss Murdock was aware of
Tyler coming out to take his horse, which she couldn't help
thinking was very good of him as it was his day off and he was only
visiting. At the same time, Andrew knelt down and grasped something
in his hand that he found in the gutter alongside the mew with a
little exclamation of surprise. “Miss Murdock!” he exclaimed with
boyish triumph as he held the item up. “You have lost your
handkerchief.”

Over Andrew's head, she saw Tyler's face take
on a very strange expression, and she met his eyes for the briefest
of seconds. On instinct she began moving forward. “Why, yes, I must
have. Thank you—”

“But this is not your handkerchief at all!”
Andrew said, looking at the garment in wonder. “For there is St.
James' crest upon it, just as bold as you please.” And his eyes
came up to meet hers, stopping her in her thanks.

Before she could answer, a voice behind her,
very near behind her, said, “It is tea time, Andrew, as I was just
coming out to tell Miss Murdock. I saw her from the window while I
was sewing.”

Chapter Fifteen

“Oh, dear!” Miss Murdock said beneath her
breath. Tyler was looking at her with a great deal of concern on
his face, and she was afraid that her expression appeared much the
same to him.

As if to confirm this fear, Andrew rose to
his feet and said, “Are you quite all right, Miss Murdock? You
suddenly look very disturbed.”

She forced a smile. “Not at all, Andrew, I
assure you.” Whether she was assuring him that she was quite all
right or quite disturbed, she left rather unclear. Then she turned
to meet the eyes of Lady Lydia with a distinct lump of dread in her
stomach.

She could not have been more correct than to
feel that lump, either, she saw at once. For Lady Lydia's mouth was
clamped together in a most intimidating manner, and she drew her
breath in and said in an undertone for Miss Murdock's ears alone,
“Well! I suppose that explains a great deal, does it not, Miss
Murdock!”

With desperation, Miss Murdock said, “I'm
afraid I don't follow you, Lady Lydia.”

“Well, we shall discuss this later. As I have
said, right now, you are late for tea. As well as Andrew.
Andrew!”

“Coming, mother,” he told her. Tyler was
taking his horse, and as Miss Murdock turned, she saw Tyler also
take the handkerchief from Andrew, who was distracted enough by his
mother's wrath (whom, he must have been thinking, seemed even more
upset than usual for his merely being late for tea again) that he
really did not notice.

Tyler met Miss Murdock's eyes, nodded once in
reassurance, as though he knew of some way to help her in this
predicament, and then turned without saying anything to lead the
horse into the stables.

“Come along, Miss Murdock,” Lady Lydia
commanded in a tone full of righteous indignation and, holding her
skirts up the required inch, marched Miss Murdock and her tardy son
into the house.

And Miss Murdock, as she followed that Lady's
back, could only conclude that Lady Lydia was not nearly as dense
as everyone thought she was.

“I can not tell you,” Lady Lydia began as
soon as the sitting room door of Lizzie's bed chambers was closed
behind her, “how shocked and disappointed in you I am, Miss
Murdock!”

“Indeed, I think you are rather over-reacting
over a wayward handkerchief, Lady Lydia,” Miss Murdock replied from
where she sat. She had been gnawing her fingernail just the moment
before in dread of this interview, but she saw no reason why Lady
Lydia should know this.

“Oh, do not try to be coy with me, Miss
Murdock. I was young once, also, you know. And although I am sure I
felt myself quite daring, I would have never done as you have done
last night.”

“And what ever is it you think I have done?”
Miss Murdock asked. Lady Lydia seated herself on the chaise lounge,
and Lizzie could have sworn she heard the lacings of Lydia's stays
creak as she did so.

“Oh, very sly, Miss Murdock. Gain from me how
much I know and in that manner avoid telling me anything I may not
already be aware of. Well, I am aware of a great deal, so we may as
well speak plainly.”

“Forgive me, ma'am, but I wish you
would.”

Lady Lydia nodded. “Then I shall. You rode
with St. James last night, unchaperoned in his coach. Is that
speaking plainly enough for you, Miss Murdock?”

Miss Murdock cringed on the inside but she
maintained a brave front. “And you have come to this conclusion
merely from a found handkerchief in the gutter, Lady Lydia? Why, it
is a fantastic supposition!”

“Not when you add that I saw a coach last
night from my bedroom window. Not when I am certain that I saw a
groom returning from escorting someone to the door, and a man, Miss
Murdock, would certainly not need to be escorted. I had my
suspicions already, Miss Murdock, but I could not believe with your
only being here in London but one full day that you had managed to
procure an admirer so quickly. I know the term fast indicates just
what it means, but even I could not credit anyone being that fast!”
She fanned herself with her hand as though the very thought of it
made her faint. “So of course I tried very strongly to with-hold
any judgments. But when it was St. James' handkerchief found in the
mew just now, it all came together with shocking clarity! And I, of
all people, should not be surprised that he has had the audacity of
parking one of his lightskirts in his own grandmother's home!”

Miss Murdock colored at the end of these
pronouncements. “I do not view myself as a lightskirt, ma'am, and I
shall try very hard to overlook that insult as I understand you to
be beside yourself.”

“Indeed, I am! I can not think what you were
thinking to repay the Duchess' hospitality to you in such a way!
And after all the expense she has gone to to launch you properly in
society! If I did not think it would kill her, I would march in
there now and tell her what a viper she has taken to her bosom, and
indeed it was my first instinct to do so. But of course, I do not
wish to do that, no matter how angry I may be, but let me assure
you, Miss Murdock, you will be leaving here on the morrow, or I
will do as I should, and the results will be on your and St. James'
heads and not on mine!”

“You will do no such thing,” Miss Murdock
exclaimed, her simmering anger getting the better of her. “For if
you were to do that, you would be doing it for no other reason than
to spite her! Oh, do not look at me as though I have lost my mind!
I know perfectly well that you bypass no chance to rundown St.
James to her, and granted he has given you many opportunity, but
you take a great deal of pleasure in throwing his escapades up into
her face.

“If you recall correctly, I had every wish to
leave today, but it was at the insistence of yourself as well as
the Duchess and Andrew—Earl Larrimer, that I stayed. If I am having
an affair with milord Duke, which even you should be able to see is
utterly ridiculous, then perhaps you can explain why I would be so
anxious to return home?”

“Oh, dear, you are right,” Lady Lydia gasped.
“I have misjudged you shockingly! It is all so clear now. You are
trying to save yourself from him,” she said with a great deal of
drama. “Oh, my dear!”

Miss Murdock, thrown quite a bit off stride,
said, “What?”

“Yes,” Lady Lydia nodded, evidently finding
this line of thinking more obvious and correct with each passing
moment. “Oh, I can see it all now, and it is all so perfectly
understandable! He offered to send you to his grandmother's in
London, as a kindness, he told you. And you, of course not knowing
his true character, took him up on it, having no idea. . . ! And
only once you got here did you realize what he truly had in mind!
Oh, my dear, I could weep for you,” she finished, looking as though
she would weep. “And to think I have been in here dressing you
down. But of course, Miss Murdock, you must know that you can
never, never ride with a gentleman without chaperone, not even in
the daylight, let alone in the middle of the night!” She shook her
head as though to clue Miss Murdock in as to her proper
response.

Miss Murdock, feeling a great deal mystified
at this reversal in Lady Lydia's attitude, found herself shaking
her head.