“Because it was dehumanizing.”
“Dehumanizing?! If anyone had the right to be angry, it was
me
!”
She sat up straight with no chaser, shook her finger in his direction, and squinted as if the blinding sun were in her eyes. “You are
not
the victim. He was right, okay? I heard the whole damn conversation from the kitchen. I was hoping you were going somewhere with your questions, gave you the benefit of the doubt, but all you did was poke and prod for sport. How very childish!”
His stomach moved about within him as if a cowboy were twirling a lasso with his cantankerous innards…
“We don’t know him, we haven’t given the guy a chance, and let’s not even get into the fact that Taryn absolutely refuses to speak to you now. She even hung up after I handed you the phone.”
“That was her choice. If she wants to protect this thug, she won’t be able to do it without it being perfectly clear where I stand on the issue.”
“He’s not a thug. He’s a police officer and it was your choice to behave that way.”
“Cops can be thugs,
too
! Look, I’m choosing to be my daughter’s parent, not her friend, Gladys.” He covered his words in the thick, bubbling sauce of judgment, and asked the woman how it tasted after he served the shit up… hot and ready. A steely darkness crept into her eyes, overtaking the irises like the night framing the full moon in the sky. He was alone, lost in the wilderness. Out in the cold amongst wolves, yet their shining, golden eyes glowed with frightful familiarity.
“I refuse to lose my daughter again, do you hear me?!” She punched the small hump of sheets beside her, causing a muffled, pounding thump as her body quivered beneath the lady-like material of her unflattering attire. “Have you forgotten everything we’ve been through with her?! The countless tears I shed, fearing my baby was going to die! The loud arguments in this house when she refused to get help after stealing thousands of dollars from us, not returning her agent’s calls, and becoming a nightmare to be around!” She gripped the sheets in her fist, twisting and turning them every which way. “Taryn became a liar and a con artist seemingly overnight, totally out of character, and I mourned my baby, Robert! I
mourned
her!
“Where’d she gone off to?” She swiped at a tear and continued on, her words slicing into him just as she intended. “The never-ending hospital stays…holding her hand, the machines, her moaning out in terrible pain! The ongoing cancer treatments, watching her lose weight and turn into a skeleton right before my eyes…the horrible, double mastectomy that made her a bit less trusting and a lot angrier, and then, the subsequent recovery! She’s thirty-two, for Christ’s sake! That’s old enough to make her own choices, and young enough to still mess up and live and learn!”
“So I’m just supposed to sit back and watch her move in with a drug addict, Gladys?! I’m not supposed to say anything?! I’m surrounded by craziness! That is preposterous!” His throat grew hot with words yet to be spoken, fighting himself tooth and nail lest he utter something gruesome and abhorrent to match his true sentiments.
You’re my wife! And here your spoiled ass sits taking that fucker’s side! When have you known Taryn to EVER bring a good guy home, huh? The 21
st
of never, that’s when! You think I give a shit that he’s got a nice smile? He’s conniving! He’s a playboy cop with a penchant for drinking his ass to death! Nice! Real fucking nice! He probably snorted cocaine this damn morning and has our daughter hooked on it now, too! I will not trust him with my child, I won’t, and if you do, you’re a goddamn crazy woman…
…But he kept his thoughts to himself.
“We don’t know him yet, damn it!” Her chest heaved up and down. “You said your peace, but you couldn’t leave it be. She already knew how you felt, but you just couldn’t stop yourself now, could you?”
“That wasn’t just for her; it was for him to hear, too. He needs to know where we stand! And I don’t have to know him to figure out he’s a damn drunk and she met him in a drug rehabilitation facility! That’s not the stuff good relationships are made of!”
“I’d much rather have my daughter healthy and happy than depressed and angry; and if she is the latter, I damn sure don’t want to be the cause of it!”
“Yes, because once again you want to be her peer, not a parent!” He threw up his hands in frustration. “Fine.” He shrugged. “I’ll be the bad guy… If it saves her from a terrible mistake, I’ll take that one for the team.”
“You can keep saying that all you want. She opens up to me, talks to me more now since I changed my approach. Don’t you get it?! She never talked to us about stuff that bothered her in the past because she believed we didn’t want to hear it, or worse yet, wouldn’t understand. I told her I wanted things to be better, to be different, between her and me. I love her enough to meet her half way, Robert. You, on the other hand, are the same old bullheaded bastard I met thirty-five years ago. I hope you’re satisfied!” She lunged towards her nightstand, pulled out a tissue, and blew her nose.
“What? You think I’m happy about this?” His eyes bucked. “Look, let’s take a step back and calm down, okay?” He cleared his throat, trying to sound diplomatic when he wanted nothing less than a glass of something tall and strong. “Sometimes things like this are uncomfortable to discuss, but I had every right to ask him what I did, get it all out on the table. The man is an addict; he has some issues, okay?”
“Everyone does…”
“No.” He shook his head adamantly as he fought a smirk. “His are a little more serious, or have you forgotten that?”
“No, I haven’t forgotten that, Robert… How could I?”
“He’s a dope head and a drunk. I’m shocked he will be trusted with a gun again… walking around in uniform! Unbelievable! An addict, Gladys! You’re defending a drug addict.”
“Your daughter is one, too, and yet you seem to need to be reminded on a daily basis! Let me tell you something, I play a role, Robert. I play a role and try to act as if everything is fine but trust me, behind closed doors I know the deal! How would you like it if this were reversed, huh?”
“Reversed how?”
“How would you feel if someone treated Taryn the way you treated that boy?”
“He’s
not
a
boy
; he’s a grown man, honey.” He sighed. “He can take care of himself. And she’s not an addict…”
“She
is
!” Her voice rang out so hard, heavy and loud, the walls seemed to pulsate after the two words sprang from between her lips. “Do you
know
how hard it is for me to admit that?! Do you have any idea? Do you know how long it took me to be able to say it, and
mean
it in my heart?” Another tear streamed down her face. She quickly patted it dry. “It doesn’t even matter anymore
how
it happened, Robert; it’s that it happened! The girl was stealing money out of our account to take care of her habit! Why do you think she refuses to accept another dime from us now?! Not even when she needs it most! That check is
still
uncashed! She’s been couch surfing for Heaven’s sake! Our daughter,” she said, pointing to herself as the tears continued to flow, “once one of the top models in the industry, on the cover of Elle France, Vogue and Maxim, officially homeless after being strung out!” She shook her head as if in disbelief. “She’s been hiding from the paparazzi, ducking and dodging, ashamed, embarrassed. She refuses to Google her own name because she says nothing but horrible things come up but despite
all
of that, she’s got pride and strength! She’s got what we taught her to have, in spite of it all!”
He swallowed, looked away.
“…And you don’t think Nick might feel the same?” Her voice cracked. “You don’t think whatever you said to him he hasn’t said to himself—thought of himself, too?!”
“I have no idea.” The man shrugged. “What I do know is that with his issues, he and Taryn have
no
business being’ together.
That
I do know.”
“You don’t know that, actually… Robert, you don’t know that at all.”
They were quiet for a minute or two.
“Okay, I’ve got to know why you have completely changed your tune, Gladys! This is just…insane to me.”
She sighed and looked towards the window, a distant stare in her eyes.
“Robert, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things since Taryn stormed out of here this morning. On the one hand, yeah, I agree that two people that are messed up may not be good for one another; it could make things more complicated, worse. But guess what?” A tiny smile creased her face as she looked back in his direction. “Isn’t it possible that the exact
opposite
could happen? Could people with the same problems actually help one another, instead of bringing each other down? Hell…” She huffed out a breath. “They just may be the best thing for one another.”
“Woman you sound crazy!” He couldn’t take one more blasted second of this foolishness! Where had his spritely, intelligent, and slightly snarky Gladys flown off to? Over the coop apparently… Perhaps she’d fallen prey to a common sense eating bacteria; and he internally pleaded the situation wasn’t infectious.
“Oh, really? I sound crazy, huh?” She sucked her teeth, making him regret his outburst, but he was desperate. How could she turn against him this way and then keep weaving these fantastical notions in that lovely head of hers?
“Look, they understand each other in a way that we don’t. No one wakes up and thinks, ‘I sure would like to be an addict today!’ He turned
himself
in, Robert! No one nabbed him, tried to make him do the right thing. He did it on his own. That says something about his character; it says a lot about him, period. All you’ve been doing is focusing on all the stuff you could use against him, throw in his direction, and hope it sticks. What about the good stuff? You mean to tell me you saw none of it in that man?”
He turned away from her, spinning, going in circles. She had a damn point, but it wasn’t enough for him to hang his hat on, feel at ease. No… it would take much more. No one was going to ruin his daughter—his little girl. Taryn kept bucking his authority; she never listened and had been hard headed from the day she was born. But far too much had happened…
No. No one was going to undo all of the work he’d done, invested in her.
“His mama is dead. He doesn’t have anybody, Robert!”
“Oh, now it all makes sense!”
Why didn’t I see this right away, figure it out immediately?!
“What makes sense?”
“You’ve
always
been a sucker for a charity case! All of those checks.” He waved his hands around frantically, “Those Fund-A-Lie organizations! Anything dealing with children, and you are right there on the spot! These organizations see you coming and stamp a ‘SUCKER’ across your forehead.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” She sat up a bit straighter.
“I see what this is about…yeah!” He waved his finger at her. “As soon as that man poured out that hard luck story, you were wrapped around his finger! Your heartstrings were pulled once you found out from Taryn his mother had passed away, but what sealed the deal were all the depressing details he gave today… the poor me story, like he’s a damn orphan! Before all of that, you agreed with me and now I know why you’ve turned your back on me!” He screamed. “We were supposed to be united! Just like when we confronted Taryn about the pain medication, all of it! I can’t get emotional and all weepy eyed. I have to stay focused and the fact of the matter is, that man is a hazard to this family! He’s gonna break her heart and rip us all apart!”
She looked at him long and hard, as if she didn’t recognize him a day in her life. As if she’d suddenly been seized and riddled with amnesia, and no doctor in the land could bring the light back in her eyes.
“If you love your daughter,
really
love her, you’ll stop this right this second,” she said between clenched teeth. “You’ll push your pride aside! You lied.”
“Lied about what?”
“This is
all
about pride for you. It’s about what will people think, just like it was in part for me. I didn’t mind that he was a police officer; hell, that’s a plus in my book, but yes, his background and addiction issues are enough to make me lose my breath.”
As he looked at her a bit more closely, more tears welled in her eyes and threatened to fall. He hated how sad she’d become over the course of their argument. Hated that they were battling, and hated Nick for being the damn root cause of the anguish!
Everything was fine until Nick came into our lives!
“I’m scared, okay? I’m scared for Taryn and for Nick, too, quite honestly. Yeah, I’m worried, Robert. That’s my baby, but she l
oves
him, Robert! Didn’t you see the way she was looking at him and him at her? Don’t you remember what that feels like?! My God…” She patted more tears away.
He looked down, away from the woman’s gaze. Yeah, he’d seen it. He could see it all on his daughter’s face…
“You’re unbelievable!” she added, an air of disgust in her tone. “You
think
it, you don’t
say
it! We had a private conversation about our daughter’s boyfriend, and you then went out there and let him have it. You didn’t even listen to him. The man opened up to you; he didn’t even know you, and he told his story…and you acted like, ‘so what!’ I am so disappointed in you!” She rose from the bed, grabbed her pillow, stormed past him, and slammed the door behind her, causing the pictures on the wall to rattle.
Time found its pause button. Everything stopped, rotation on the Earth’s axis ceased and the air filled with thickness, sucking the oxygen from his lungs and replacing it with feelings of coiled remorse. He rose from the bed and took a few unsteady steps, his knees suddenly so weak, he slumped onto the semi-rumpled bed. The woman’s Chanel perfume lingered well after she’d made her grand exit, and he missed her already. Running his hand over his short, coarse salt and pepper hair, he sank in deliberations, nearly drowning.