In Too Deep (Grayton Series Book 4) (10 page)

He was boiling inside, but the look in her eyes convinced him to give her the time she needed. Releasing the breath he’d been holding, he nodded slightly.

“Marv wanted to watch you for a day before handing over the ferry to you.” She nodded to where Marv stood on the doc, waiting for him.

“Will I see you later?” he asked.

She nodded. “I was planning on going to the island for lunch, if you’ll join me?”

He smiled and then quickly pulled her across the seat and covered her mouth with hers.

“I plan on staying at your place, you know. And tonight, we won’t have to hold back,” he whispered next to her ear. He thought he felt her shiver and hoped it was with anticipation.

Chapter Nine

R
oman’s words played over in her head the rest of the morning.
“Tonight, we won’t have to hold back.”

Just the thought that he’d held back any last night sent heat spreading throughout her entire body. She had been so absentminded while daydreaming about last night that she’d started stocking the orange juice on the center aisle instead of in the refrigerators. She’d caught herself before anyone had noticed and had quickly restocked the fridge while blushing.

But the more she thought about it, the more his words took on a different meaning to her. She was the one still holding back from him. He’d walked into a sticky situation and had blindly believed everything without getting any answers. Before she did anything else, she realized she had to tell him everything.

She pulled out a grilled half chicken from the rotisserie oven and packed up her small cooler with cheese, crackers, and sodas. Then she went to wait at the end of the dock for the ferry to return.

Marv had assured her that he’d take most of the days for the rest of the month, but there were at least a handful that Roman would have to fill in. John and Bob had been excited to fill in full time until Jenny could hire two more replacements.

She knew the time had come to finish telling Roman her story. Actually, that’s why she’d set the lunch date. She kept telling herself not to back down, but part of her still wanted to run and hide. Nothing was more important to her than her son’s safety and Roman finding her had been the biggest breach possible.

When the ferry pulled up, she found it hard to smile and wave at Roman as he stood in the bridge after docking. She waited until everyone else had left before climbing on board. There were only two cars heading back to the island during the lunch trip, which at this time of year was slow. But she knew that things would be speeding up during the weekend with the holiday coming.

“Hey.” Roman smiled at her and pulled her closer in for a light kiss. Missy watched Marv’s bushy eyebrows jump upward.

“I have our lunch.” She nodded to the cooler. “I packed a slice of Jenny’s cheesecake for you, Marv,” she said in hopes of discouraging her employee from telling everyone about the kiss.

She smiled when his eyebrows lowered.

“Looks like we might get some rain later tonight,” Marv said, taking the container of the large slice of cake from her.

She nodded and turned back to Roman. “Care to go out on deck and get some fresh air with me?”

He smiled. “As long as you promise me you brought some of that cheesecake for us.”

She chuckled and nodded.

“Then lead the way.” He waved his hand after opening and holding the door for her.

When she walked out on the deck, the warm breeze hit her. Marv was right; she could almost smell the rain in the air. By nightfall, everything would be wet.

When Roman stopped beside her, he took her shoulders into his hands and turned her until she looked at him. “Looks like you have something pretty heavy on your mind.” His fingers played with the ends of her hair. She wanted nothing more than to just be held by him for the rest of the day. Instead, she nodded slightly.

“I think it’s time I told you everything.” Her eyes met his and she could see some relief in them.

“Here?” He waited.

She shook her head from side to side, sending her hair into her eyes until she looked down at his chest. “During lunch,” she whispered.

He pulled her closer and she easily rested her head on his chest. “Thank you.” His voice rumbled in her ear.

She pulled back slightly. “Don’t thank me.” She felt her stomach almost roll. “I don’t deserve your thanks.” Her head was spinning just at the thought of what he was getting himself into by being with her.

He nodded slowly. “Okay.” He drew the word out and she sighed deeply.

“I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes and felt her head pounding. “Let’s just save the talking for after we eat.”

He nodded again then pulled her back into his arms and kissed her forehead. “Whatever it is, we can work through this together.”

She closed her eyes on the hurt, knowing that that would never be possible.

***

Roman liked to think he was a patient man. After all, it had taken him over eight years to track Missy down. But as he sat on the picnic table overlooking the sugar sand beach, he felt his patience finally wearing down.

Missy nibbled on her chicken and picked at it with a plastic fork instead of picking it up and digging into it like he had. It looked to him as if she was postponing the conversation as long as she could.

He finished his plate quickly and watched her pull out a pan with the cheesecake wrapped inside. After cutting him a large piece, she set her fork down and pushed her almost full plate aside. He’d only taken a few bites of his cake, when her eyes moved up to his. Setting his fork down, he waited.

“I found my… well, technically, he’s my grandfather on my mother’s side.”

“What?” he asked.

She repeated her statement so he shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

She stood up and walked towards the surf, holding herself tightly. He followed close behind her, wanting to touch her but deciding against it. When she sat down in the sand, he moved beside her, their knees brushing slightly.

“Just before Reagan was born, I was scared and running. I’d just escaped the cult…”

“You had to escape the cult?” He frowned, turning towards her.

“They kidnapped me.” Her voice was low, causing him to lean a closer. “After my mother visited me.” She glanced over at him.

“I remember, she came up to the house and asked to speak to you.”

She nodded.

“We turned her away.” He frowned, remembering the junkie woman who had shown up. She’d had needle marks in her arms and a scared look in her eyes.

She sighed and rested her elbows on her knees. “She found me the next day, when I was leaving school.” He felt anger boiling deep inside. “She’d left the CoF—the Council of Friends—a few years back and had gotten back involved in drugs.” She shivered. “Anyway, someone from the family had tracked her down and told her to visit me. She told me that they claimed it was time I came back and fulfilled my obligations to the family. So, that night, after catching what I thought was you and Susan Shaffer, I left Spring Haven. I was so young and stupid that I rented an apartment in Tallahassee under my birth name.”

“Marissa Collins?” he questioned.

She shook her head no. “That’s what Lilly told the Grayton’s my name was. To protect me.” She rested her chin on her arms. “I’ve used a few names until I came here. Wright, Collins, but my birth name was Marissa Smith. I’m one of sixteen Smith’s born into the Kevin Smith cult.”

“Kevin Smith is your father?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “At least he seems to think so. It’s hard to know who belongs to whom in a polygamous cult. In the Council of Friends, every child takes the leader’s name.” She glanced down at her hands. “And every leader takes the last name of Smith. The compound is just outside of Tallahassee.”

“I thought those cults were only in Utah?” He frowned.

She shrugged her shoulders and looked back up at him. “Several larger groups broke off a few decades ago. Some settled in Colorado and others even farther away. The CoF moved near the Florida border. That’s where I was born and raised until Lilly helped me escape on my wedding day and brought me to the Grayton’s.”

“Why would they kidnap you?” He reached out and took her hand in his.

She looked down at the joined hands and shrugged her shoulder. “They didn’t want me. My father”—by the tone of her voice, he could tell that she hated using that term—“claimed that he’d received a message from God that I was pregnant. I had just found out myself less than a week earlier. He claimed that his first grandchild was to become their next prophet.” Roman growled and she turned towards him. “After I escaped, I was pretty much living on the street. I had some money…” She shook her head. “I’d stolen it from the CoF as I escaped. But it wasn’t enough. Just before Reagan was born, an older man came to the clinic I’d visited and found me. He claimed to be my mother’s father. He’d been watching the compound for years, hoping his daughter would change her mind. She’d foolishly joined the cult to try and clean her life up. She was heavily into drugs in her youth.” She sighed and hugged herself. “He brought me to Carrabelle, where he’d been living for a few years. He’d purchased Dog’s Landing. He told everyone he’d hired me on and we changed my name once more.”

“How do you know you’re safe here?” He looked off towards the mainland. Thoughts of rushing to gather Reagan flooded his mind.

A chuckle escaped her. “I don’t. But Doug, my grandfather, did everything in his power before he died a few years back to make sure they wouldn’t find us again.”

He shook his head, wanting to know more, but he had too many other questions that needed to be answered first. “Why didn’t you contact me? We would have…”

She stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. “Because they knew about you. About the Graytons. Remember? When they kidnapped me, they claimed that if I ran…” She released a slow breath as she shook her head. “They wouldn’t stop until they had Reagan.” She leaned closer. “Roman, these are some scary people. They have money. Lots of money, weapons, and power. More than most drug lords in Mexico.”

“If they knew about us, why didn’t they come after you all those years ago?”

“They don’t want me. I’m an apostate. I abandoned my church, my leaders. No matter how young I was when I left, I belonged to Satan the moment I stepped foot outside the compound.”

“Then why our son?” he asked, shaking his head.

“It was determined on my second birthday that my first born would be a son and would one day rise to become their leader and guide CoF into the promised land. Everything they are, everything they’ve worked for over the last few decades rests on our son’s shoulders. Or so they believe.”

“I…” He shook his head, unsure of what to say. The only thing he knew for certain was that there was no way in hell the CoF was getting their hands on Reagan.

Standing up, he dusted the sand from his hands, then reached down and helped her up.

“I promise you, they will never get a chance to lay a finger on our son.” His eyes burned into hers until she nodded slightly.

She believed him with every ounce of her being. She just hoped he’d never have to prove it.

***

As she watched the land disappear as they rode back to the mainland on the ferry, Missy shivered remembering her time in the compound when she’d been pregnant with Reagan. She couldn’t imagine their son enduring something like that. Being locked up, watched, beaten.

She’d been born on the compound and had escaped it along with Lilly’s help so many years ago. She knew of its weaknesses and its strongholds. But over the years, things had changed. Even during the time between when she’d escaped as a child and escaped eight years ago, so much had changed.

They had added electricity to their security walls so that anyone trying to climb under or over the high fences would be shocked. She shivered at the thought of what they had added in the time she’d been there last.

She was sure that escaping them twice had been a fluke. If they ever found Reagan, she feared there would be no escape.

“Roman, I know you want to tell Reagan about us,” she said, turning towards him. “But, I don’t think he’s ready.”

Roman tilted his head and looked at her. “Are you having a problem with him being ready or you being ready?”

She sighed and leaned a little more on the railing as she watched the water below. “I suppose it’s me that isn’t ready.” She turned away from the view and leaned backwards against the railing. “I’ve been a single parent his entire life. It’s going to be a shock hearing about you. Hearing my past.” She closed her eyes against the fear.

“He seems like a pretty smart kid,” Roman said, running his hand over her shoulders. “Something tells me he’s going to have a lot easier time with it than you think.”

She thought about it and nodded, trying to rein in her fears. “Do you want me…”

He stopped her by shaking his head. “No, we need to do this together.” She nodded and moved easily into his arms. When he leaned down and kissed her, she realized she no longer cared who saw them together.