In Uncle Al : In Uncle Al (9780307532572) (6 page)

“But this means that you’re going in the wrong direction. Thudd, are you okay?”

zleep …
“Knock, knock …,” said Thudd.

Andrew pressed Thudd’s reset button before he could say another word.

“Oops! Oops! Oops!” said Thudd. “Thudd make boo-boo. But Thudd know right way.” He pointed left.

“I hope you’re right,” said Andrew. “Because I can feel myself growing. We’ll wreck Uncle Al’s brain if we get much bigger.”

Andrew and Judy took a left and continued creeping through the tangle of Uncle Al’s brain.

Uncle Al’s hologram looked away. “Hammer, pliers, monkey wrench,” he said. “Drill, scissors, eggbeater …”

Judy rolled her eyes. “You’re not making any sense, Uncle Al,” she said.

Uncle Al smiled. “That’s because you’re trekking through the part of my brain that stores the names of tools,” he said.

“Strange-a-mundo!” said Judy.

They trekked on, slipping and sliding along Uncle Al’s nerve cells.

“Crocodile, aardvark, rhinoceros beetle, giant squid,” said Uncle Al. “Tyrannosaurus, bald eagle, humu humu nuku nuku apu ah ah fish.”

“Cheese Louise!” said Judy. “We must have crawled into the part of your brain that stores the names of animals!”

“Right!” said Uncle Al.

Andrew and Judy pushed on.

“Abraham Lincoln, Chief Sitting Bull, J. K. Rowling, Queen Elizabeth, King Tut, Judy Dubble,” chanted Uncle Al.

“The part of the brain
for people’s
names!” said Andrew.

Uncle Al smiled. “That means you’re going in the right direction,” he said. “Good work, Thudd.”

“Thunkoo,” said Thudd.

“Ha ha ha!” Uncle Al laughed. “Hoo hoo!”

“What’s so funny?” asked Judy.

“I feel like I’m being tickled,” said Uncle Al. “Hee hee hee! But you’re on track. Keep going! Hoo hoo!”

“Bluck!” blurted Uncle Al. His face scrunched up like a wad of paper.

“What’s happening, Uncle Al?” asked Andrew.

“My mouth tastes like an old boot,” said Uncle Al. “You’re in the taste area of my brain. Ah! You must have moved. Now I’m tasting
pepperoni pizza! Wish you could stay
there
for a while.”

Thudd pointed up. Andrew and Judy pulled themselves higher.

Uncle Al chuckled. “Now I’m hearing, um, a rude sound and a toilet flushing,” he said.

“Thudd, you’re doing great work! You’re in the part of my brain that gets sound messages from my ears.”

“Thunkoo, Unkie!” said Thudd.

“Now you need to find the big nerve that leads to my ear.”

Thudd looked around till he found a thick tangle of brain cells.

meep …
“Big nerve!” he said. “This way!”

As they crept along, Andrew’s backbone began to feel stretchy. “I’m growing again,” he said.

“Me too,” said Judy.

meep …
“Thudd too!” squeaked Thudd.

As Andrew groped his way through the thick, soft clutter of brain cells, he found himself in a space that seemed to be filled with red pudding. He banged his head into something hard.

“What’s this?” said Andrew. “Everything else inside Uncle Al is
squishy!”

meep …
“Nerve going through skull bone now,” said Thudd.

“This can’t be
bone,”
said Judy. “It’s full of
holes!
Bone is solid and
hard!”

Uncle Al shook his head. “Parts of bones are solid and hard,” he said. “But some bones, like skulls, have hard bone on the outside and spongy bone with lots of holes on the inside. Kind of like a bone sandwich.

“The red stuff inside the spongy bone is what makes red blood cells. It’s called marrow.

“Thudd, find the little hole in my skull that takes you right into my middle ear.”

“Yoop! Yoop! Yoop!” said Thudd. He pointed ahead and they crept on.

“Good golly, Miss Molly!” exclaimed Uncle Al. He was holding his head. “I feel dizzy. What are you guys up to?”

“Nothing,” said Andrew.

“My foot got tangled in a nerve,” said Judy.

“Ah!” said Uncle Al. “Must be a nerve that sends signals about balance from my ear to my brain.”

“Inside my skull are three tiny loops. Inside these loops are super-tiny stones.

“When my head moves, the stones move. They send messages to my brain about my balance. But if you mess with my balance nerve, my brain gets the message that I’m dizzy.”

“Sorry, Uncle Al,” said Judy, scrambling ahead.

They came to a place where there was no marrow. The spaces in the spongy bone were filled with air.

meep …
“Drewd and Oody can take off Schnozzles,” said Thudd. “Can breathe air now!”

“Super-duper pooper-scooper!” shouted Andrew, pulling off his Schnozzle. He folded it flat and put it in his pocket.

“Now can we take off these stupid blood-cell disguises?” asked Judy. “Mine is a wreck, anyway.”

“Yoop, yoop, yoop!” said Thudd. “No big eaters here.”

Thudd pointed to a large dark hole.
meep …
“Drewd and Oody go through hole. Drop into middle ear.”

Andrew went first.

“Erf!” he said, landing on his behind.

He gazed out into the shadowy space lit by his flashlight. “Looks like a bizarre-o cave!” he said.

“Ooof!” Judy dropped down on top of Andrew.

“What do we do next, Uncle Al?” asked Andrew.

“Where are you?” asked Uncle Al.

Andrew looked around. “There are three weird bony things at the top of this place,” said Andrew. “One of them is touching a round white thing that looks like a trampoline on its side.”

Uncle Al nodded. “The round white thing is my eardrum. The tiny bones help send sound messages from my eardrum to my brain,” said Uncle Al.

The three bones became a blur as they vibrated at the sound of Uncle Al’s voice.

“How big are you now?” asked Uncle Al.

“We’re as big as one of those bones,” said Andrew. “But we’re growing every minute.”

Uncle Al’s eyebrows flew up. “Benjamin Franklin on a buttered bagel!” he exclaimed. “From the size of a microscopic red blood cell to the size of a grain of rice in minutes! This changes everything!”

Uncle Al rubbed his chin.

“I had thought you could slip through the cells in my eardrum. The eardrum is just a thin piece of skin. But you’re much too big for that now.”

Andrew looked around the ear cave. His light fell on a round opening near his feet. He leaned down to look into the hole, but all he could see was a dark tunnel.

“There’s a hole under the ear bones,” said Andrew. “It’s big enough for us to squeeze into.”

meep …
“Eustachian tube,” said Thudd. “Connect ear to back of nose.”

Uncle Al smiled. “You guys can slip into the Eustachian tube and get to the back of my nose,” he said. “From there, you can crawl down through my nose and out!”

“Eeeew!” said Judy.

“Okey-dokey, Unkie,” said Thudd.

“Let’s go!” said Andrew.

He slipped into the Eustachian tube and Judy followed. The way down was steep and tight and damp. As Andrew slid down, the tube got tighter and tighter. He had to push himself through.

I’m growing fast
, he thought.

Andrew plopped onto a gooey, slippery shelf in a dark cave much larger than the inside of Uncle Al’s ear.

meep …
“Drewd at back of Unkie’s nose now,” said Thudd. “Lotsa nose goo here, called mucus.”

Andrew felt something moving him backward. Below him, under the goo, he could make out a carpet of tiny, waving hairs. They were working like a slimy conveyor belt, dragging him to the back of Uncle Al’s nose.

“What’s moving me?” asked Andrew.

meep …
“Little hairs under mucus called cilia,” said Thudd. “Mucus catch dirt. Catch germs. Cilia move mucus from back of nose to back of throat. Then mucus get swallowed.”

“Whoa!” Judy came sliding down and landed on a shelf-like place below Andrew “I’m
soaked
in Uncle Al’s nose goo!” said Judy.

A strong wind whipped by them, dragging them backward through the goo. And in a second, the wind changed direction and nearly yanked them down from their slimy shelves.

“It’s Uncle Al breathing,” said Andrew.

Uncle Al’s eyes squeezed shut and his mouth opened. “Uh-oh,” he said. “You’re tick-link the back of my nose. Ahm tryink not to shneeze.”

Eek!
squeaked Thudd. “Sneeze can go two hundred miles an hour. Fast as winds of hurricane! Fast as winds of tornado!”

Uncle Al’s face was getting redder. His eyes were bulging. His cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter.

“AHH … AHHH … AHHHH …”
—Uncle Al looked as though he was about to explode—
“CHOOOOOOOOOO!”