In Zach's Arms (Once a Marine, Always a Marine Book 1) (4 page)

“You have no idea how good that feels.”

“Tell me about your phone calls,” she asked, rubbing her palms up to his shoulders to work out the knot of tension he carried there. “Do they have any suspects yet?”

“No. They don’t have any usable prints. The guy wore gloves and the DNA results aren’t back yet. Those tests take time.”

“I guess I hoped this was some random thing. Maybe a junkie with a criminal history, someone easily caught.” Leaning forward, Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Zach’s neck and nestled her head between his shoulder blades. “Why is this happening to me?”

Zach reached up and threaded his fingers through hers. His hands were big and warm and gave her a little tingle. “I don’t know, but you’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know.”

It was so easy being with Zach. It always had been. If only he didn’t want more than she could give him. More than she could give anyone.

“Did you leave because of me?”

“To the Marines?”

“Yes.” Her voice caught. She was digging at an old wound, but like something infected, it needed to be ripped open and cleaned. It continued to cloud their relationship, making it strained. Even now, she felt it like a shadow, lurking in the back of their minds.

“I asked you to marry me, Beth. You can’t even say the words.”

There it was. Raw and angry. Even though his voice held no inflection. “We were too young.”

“I knew what I wanted.” He unthreaded his fingers from hers and moved away to shuffle the logs around in the fire.

The warmth moved away with him. She slumped back against the couch and ran a hand through her hair. “We could have still been together. You know I wanted that.”

“That’s just sex.” He turned and speared her with a look. “I wanted more than that from you.”

“You know how I feel about mar—commitment,” she gulped. He was right, she couldn’t even say the stupid word. “It’s nothing but a trap. Look at the divorce rate in this country. It’s more than fifty percent. It’s old-fashioned and outdated.”

“Well, I guess I’m old fashioned. I’m not your asshole father, Beth. And you sure as hell aren’t your mother.”

“Leave my mom out of this.”

Zach frowned, but continued. “She’s part of the reason you feel like this. You try to lay all the blame on how your dad treated you both, but the fact is, she could have left any time. She didn’t. She stayed and kept you both in that hell.”

She shied away from thinking about them. Better to focus on her and Zach. “You never answered the question. Is that why you left?”

“Partly.”

She waited when he got quiet. The room was toasty warm now and the sun was setting. Finally, he looked her in the eyes and answered.

“I needed to get away from you. I could have taken the sex, but it wouldn’t have been enough back then. And I was angry.” He shrugged and shook his head. “I knew I needed discipline and I needed a sense of family. Foster care didn’t give me either of those. The Marines gave me both.”

“Everything I couldn’t give you,” she said, as she fought off the ridiculous need to cry. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You were right; we were too young.”

He stood and smiled down at her while he stretched and she could tell that he was no longer willing to talk about it. At least she’d been brave enough to ask.

 
“Tell me about the next book.”

She blinked away the moisture in her eyes and accepted the change of subject. “Did you actually read the first one?”

“Of course I did. Made the other guys buy copies too.”

“Really?” She laughed at the thought of a bunch of bad-ass Special Ops guys reading her romance novels. “What did you think?” She looked up, wanting to see his expression.

“I love your imagination. The guys gave me a ration of shit over the sex scenes, but the Lieutenant sent it home to his wife and she’s impatiently waiting for the next book. I promised you’d sign it for her.”

Joy spread through her. Someone out there wanted to read her stuff. It was a heady feeling…And showed Zach still cared about her as a friend, not just someone he felt he needed to protect.

Elizabeth grinned and nodded. “Thank you, that was really sweet. And, of course, I’ll sign it for her.”
 

“I liked the sex scenes,” he said, coming to sit next to her on the couch. “But they made me jealous as hell.”

“Jealous of what?”

“Whoever inspired them. Those scenes—”

Elizabeth shook her head and laughed, letting out a tiny snort. “My imagination has been better than the real thing.”

His incredulous look made her laugh again. “I think maybe I’m frigid.”

“You’re not.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

“But how?” she asked.

“No one writes scenes as hot as yours without having passion inside of them. You’ve just never found the right man to ignite that fire.”

The tips of her ears got hot. “How did we even get on this topic?” The blanket on her was suddenly stifling. But it made her feel good to think maybe she wasn’t an ice queen.

“Why don’t you go lie down and catch a nap? You could use more sleep.”

“What about you? Is my stay going to be an inconvenience to someone?” She hadn’t had the nerve to ask outright this morning when she arrived.

“You asking about my love life, Beth?”

“Seems only fair.” Elizabeth laughed when he ignored her question and tugged her toward the back of the house and the bedrooms. “Well–?”

“There’ve been a few women here and there. Nothing serious.”

The lead weight that had settled in her stomach lifted at his terse words. She hadn’t realized she cared about that. It wasn’t something she dwelled on, and yet, “Why nothing serious?”

“There are two kinds of women. The kind you marry and the ones you don’t.”

“And you pick the kind you don’t?”

When he didn’t answer, she realized they were standing in front of the master bedroom. “I can take the guest room, Zach. Thanks for letting me use your bed this morning.”

“I’ll take the guest bed. I’m up early and, this way, you can sleep in.” He leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. “The dresser next to the bed is empty. You can put your stuff in there.”

“Okay.” Giving into to the impulse, she slid her arms around his neck and gave him a quick peck on the lips. When she pulled back, he looked stunned.
 

“Thanks for being there for me.”

Stepping back, she shut the door.

***

The wind howled through the trees and Elizabeth huddled under the covers. She’d been deeply asleep when the noise began. A low moan escaped as thunder crackled and then erupted into a house-shaking boom. Rain pelted the house like bullets, fast and furious.
 

She’d hated storms for as long as she could remember. It had everything to do with the night her parents died. It had been storming and her parents had been out to a movie. She’d begged her father to let her go to the school football game, but he didn’t want her to leave home while he was gone—he never liked them out of his reach for long. So when they left, he’d locked Elizabeth’s door from the outside, trapping her inside. Hours passed and he didn’t let her out, not even when the storm rolled in and blew out the power across town.

She had pounded on the door, begging to be let out. It wasn’t until the next day, when Zach and the police found her curled up on the floor by her bedroom door that she learned about the accident.

The hairs on her arms rose up as the static electricity in the room increased. A moment of silence and then the thunder lashed out so strong that the windows in the bedroom shuddered. Elizabeth swallowed the scream that crawled up her throat. Scooting backward, so that she was against the headboard, she pulled a pillow to her chest like a shield. It would be over soon.

Please, God, let it be over soon.

“Elizabeth?” His voice was a gift from heaven.

He stood by the door. No shirt, his blue jeans rode low on his hips and the top button was undone. He was so beautiful, standing there like some Roman statue come to life. Sculpted muscles, six pack abs and a light dusting of dark hair arrowed into a sexy little happy trail to the top of his jeans. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell him that she’d be okay, because her voice was trapped inside.

Lightning blazed across the sky and illuminated the room for a moment. She jumped and buried her face into the pillow. Half a second later, the bed dipped and strong arms wrapped around her body. Elizabeth abandoned the pillow, wound her arms around Zach’s waist and held on for dear life.
“The nightmare again?”

A shaky, humorless laugh escaped. “You’d think it would have changed after all these years.”
 

She rubbed her face against his hard chest and bit her lip to keep the hysteria at bay.

He hugged her closer. “This isn’t supposed to last long.”

The warmth Zach radiated from his body gradually worked its magic. Time meant nothing as he held her. The storm raged furiously as Elizabeth fought for control.

The storm didn’t last as long as she feared it would, just like Zach promised. Gradually, the rain slowed to a gentle tip tap against the windows. The thunder moved away, until only distant echoes of sound reached her ears. Her death grip on Zach’s waist loosened, but she wasn’t ready to let go. Not when she felt so secure, so warm.

“I’m better now.” Elizabeth blew out a sigh. “Thanks for remembering.”

He smelled good. And with the smell of fresh rain and his own unique scent, she just wanted to bury her nose in his neck and sleep there. Even while the storm held her within its grip, her body responded to his. Her breasts felt full and heavy. Butterflies zinged back and forth across her stomach as he began to move away.

“You’ll be able to sleep now. The storm has moved north.”

Zach gave her one last hug and eased off the bed. She didn’t want him to go. Didn’t want him to walk away from her again. This was the moment. The moment she’d both dreaded and dreamed about.
 

God, she wanted him, wanted to prove to herself that she wasn’t a frigid woman. But he’d rejected her once. Told her that what she had to offer wasn’t enough.

“I don’t want you to sleep in the other room, Zach. I want you to sleep here. With me.”

His hand tightened on the doorknob, and he slowly shook his head. She could see the muscles of his back tense.

“Please don’t say no. I need you.”

He turned around and looked at her, hands fisted at his sides. The room lit up from another lightning flash; his blue eyes glowed in the light. His face was hard, but he didn’t scare her.

“What are you asking for?”

“Make love to me, Zach.”

Chapter 5

The king size bed swallowed her body. The lightning gave him glimpses of her blonde hair and huge eyes. The T-shirt she wore did little to hide her curves and his already overheated body went into overdrive.
 

“I want you,” she said. Her tongue slipped out to moisten her lower lip. “I’ve wanted to see where this might go for a long time. I know you’ve thought about it too.”

His gaze dropped to her tightly beaded nipples, outlined perfectly through the soft white cotton of the tee. “Is that the only thing you want, Beth? A quick lay, for old time’s sake?”

“Yes,” she said simply. “That’s what I want.”

She barely had the words out of her mouth when Zach moved. The breath he’d been holding rushed out as he stalked toward the bed. He sat on the edge and, when she reached for him, he pulled her onto his lap and buried his face into the crook of her neck, raining kisses on the exposed skin.

“Are you sure?”

But he didn’t wait for her answer. Maybe he was afraid to hear more. And maybe he just needed to get out of his own head and take what she offered this time. No strings attached.

His mouth found hers in a scorching kiss. Her soft lips parted and he swept his tongue inside. She wrapped her arms around his neck and shifted her body closer, pressing her breasts against his chest. She tasted like peaches and honey.

Even sweeter than he ever imagined.

He stroked up her back, soothing the restless movements she made. With one hand tangled in her hair, the other reached down and cupped a full breast. His thumb caressed her in a tight circle, causing her breath to catch.

“You’re so beautiful,” Zach said, kissing her nose, her eyes, and returning to her lips.

He reached for the hem of her tee, slowly pulling the white cotton up until it was over her head, and then flung it to the side. She sat proudly, letting him look his fill.

“Like what you see, Marine?”
 

“So lovely,” he groaned. “Even better than I’d imagined.”

Laying her back against the pillows, he covered her with his body. She gripped his biceps and ran her hands over his shoulders to his back. Nails scraped against the nape of his neck and his body hardened almost to the point of pain.