Incarnate (22 page)

I KEPT MY laser aimed at his chest. “You killed her.”

“Yes.” He raised his eyebrows. “Wasn’t that what you were here for? I thought I’d get it over with. You weren’t going to stop accusing her of murdering Dossam, and she wasn’t going to admit to it. She didn’t, by the way. She’s been here with me.”

My jaw ached from clenching it as he strode toward me. I held my ground. “But the battle—”

“Yes, that’s where she was going. And she could have done a lot to help people, but honestly, I didn’t want her to.”

This, too, was like drowning. My questions were like drops of water, enough to fill an ocean. “I don’t understand.”

I hated feeling stupid. I hated having to ask. And I hated being delayed, kept from finding Sam. If Li hadn’t killed him, he was somewhere in the city. With dragons.

I steeled myself. “Tell me everything or I’ll shoot holes in your arms and legs.” As if I had that kind of skill.

But he didn’t know.

“Okay.” He headed inside the house, stopping just before he hit shadows. “Aren’t you coming?”

I nodded toward his hand. “Your weapon.”

He rolled his eyes and tossed it on the walkway. “I have no plans to harm you.”

“You’ve given me no reason to believe that.” I didn’t lower my laser as I followed him to the door. Li was motionless on the doorstep, ice already collecting on her face. If I touched her, she’d be cold. “Are you working with Meuric? Did you attack Sam and me after the masquerade?” He was smaller than the man who’d tossed me around the street, but I’d been terrified then. I was terrified
now
, but at least I was armed.

Menehem grabbed my laser and flung it out the door with his. “No, I’m not working with Meuric or anyone else. I didn’t attack you, and I didn’t send sylph after you. If I’d wanted to hurt you, you’d be dead now. Never take your eyes off the person you’re threatening.”

My heart stuttered and tried to catch up with itself, but I nodded, using the door frame to hold myself up. The cold stone chilled my hands. I jerked back. “All right. You’ve made your point. I’m a lousy interrogator. Now are you going to tell me why you abandoned me, why you killed Li, and why you want people to die?”

He motioned me to sit. Li’s parlor was sparsely furnished, holding only a few chairs and tables. Once, she’d had swords and axes displayed on the walls — hers were real walls, not like Sam’s — but she took down the weapons when I moved in.

We left the door open, both of us angled toward it. And Li on the ground, a clean hole in the back of her head. “When she comes back,” I said, “she’s going to kill you. Probably several times.”

“She won’t come back.”

I jerked around. “Of course she will. Everyone comes back.” Except Ciana. Maybe except me, too. We couldn’t know unless I died, but it didn’t seem likely.

And there was that thing Meuric had talked about, something that was supposed to happen next Soul Night….

He shook his head. “I’ve been working your whole life to redo what I managed only once. I stopped a reincarnation.”

“
What
?”

“Several years ago I was experimenting on the market field. It was the only open area I thought was safe enough if anything should go wrong. I couldn’t go outside Heart, either. I didn’t want gases interfering. I’m sure you know how terrible it can smell out there. Imagine that when you’re trying to focus on other flammable chemicals—”

“Menehem.” Just like the diaries I’d read, he really liked to explain things. “Your point.”

He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, as things so often do with experiments, something went wrong, but it was mostly unexpected in that it went
right
when I’d originally assumed otherwise. That was the night Ciana died.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” And if Li wouldn’t come back, like Ciana hadn’t, what about everyone else who died tonight?

He smiled, not cruel or calculating like Li, but not one I wanted aimed at me. “I know it’s hard for you to understand. Here’s the truth. Anyone who dies tonight is dead. Gone forever. Like you replaced Ciana, I suspect other newsouls will replace tonight’s casualties. I’ve poisoned Janan, Ana. He’s responsible for reincarnations. Tonight, he’s incapable of fulfilling his duty.”

I couldn’t fit it in my head. Janan was real, I was certain, but poisoning him? Janan seemed to live within the walls of the temple. I couldn’t imagine a way to poison stone. If I hadn’t been born — proof that what Menehem had done had worked — I’d have called him crazy.

“The effects won’t last more than a few hours, but it will be enough to bring more newsouls into the world.”

“Why? Why would you want your friends to die? And Li? And maybe you?”

He lowered his voice, almost sounding hurt. “I thought you’d appreciate that Li won’t be back. She was nothing but awful to you. At least that’s what it sounded like.”

“That’s not the point. She’s
never
coming back. You destroyed her completely.”

“And everyone else who dies tonight. I only chose Li for your sake. Nature will choose the rest. The strong will live. They will be reborn. Newsouls will replace the rest.”

I bolted for the door. “Sam is out there. Dragons
always
kill him.” I stepped over my dead mother and scooped up both lasers. “If he dies tonight, so do you.”

Menehem kept up with me easily and didn’t appear upset by his lack of weapon. “If dragons or sylph kill me, so be it, but you won’t. Not even if Dossam is dead.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew me.” I waved for him to go first. If something attacked, I’d prefer it ate him while I had a chance to run away. That, and I wasn’t over the way he’d disarmed me earlier.

“I think I know you well enough. Your need for knowledge is insatiable. I have answers you want. Isn’t that what you were doing at the library so late at night while you were living with Sam?” He glanced over his shoulder. “I’ve been following your progress since you arrived in Heart, and mostly managed to keep my return a secret.”

So he’d been the one following me that night? I shook my head and kept moving. It didn’t matter anymore. “Is that why you came here tonight? Looking for me?”

“Exactly.” He smiled over his shoulder. “You’re the one person I wanted to save tonight. You haven’t had a full life yet. Or dozens of them. It wouldn’t be fair if you died so soon.”

“Will I be reborn?”

We turned onto the road, lights and sleet shining again. Drones and dragons swarmed overhead, and we could see North Avenue from here, where sylph chased people, burning corpses as they went. I was morbidly glad we didn’t have sylph eggs; I would have been compelled to stop and help people. Since I didn’t, I focused on finding Sam.

But something was different. Unusual darkness caught my eye.

In the center of Heart, the temple was dull. Exterior lights illuminated the building, but its pearlescent glow had vanished. Stone screamed as dragons wrapped around it, straining to crush it or—

Jagged black lines appeared on the temple.

I’d stopped walking. Menehem stood next to me, gazing at the temple that rose above the treetops and other buildings. “Huh,” he said. “I wonder what will happen if they rip it down.” After a moment’s contemplation, he shrugged. “Well, maybe no one will be reborn.”

“You never said whether I will be.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I mean, you’re here now, so maybe it will happen. It’s impossible to say for sure until you die. Same for all the other newsouls who’ll be born after this.”

That was not comforting. If we replaced people Janan had been reincarnating for millennia, why would he bother reincarnating us? Or would he know the difference?

“Don’t be angry,” Menehem said. “Aren’t you glad you had the chance to exist? Don’t you want others to have the chance, too? There could be billions more like you, waiting to be born.”

Maybe he was right. I had to come from somewhere, so maybe there were other souls waiting for their turn to live, too. But that didn’t make his actions moral. “So you’re killing your friends out of benevolence?”

“No. Well, I suppose. Really, it’s for science. I had questions. I wanted to know if my theories were right.”

“Were they?”

“More or less. I’ve proven that Janan isn’t all-powerful and worthy of worship, like Meuric and his friends keep saying.” He glanced at me. “Don’t you hate them? I can’t stand listening to them argue about how we’re here for this or that purpose. Now, even though I think I’ve proven Janan is real, I’ve also proven that whatever he is, he can be stopped.”

I didn’t want to think about Meuric. My stomach twisted, remembering the way I’d thrust my knife into his eye. “So that’s what you’ve been working on these last eighteen years? How to halt reincarnation?”

Menehem nodded.

“I thought it was about sylph. And controlling them.”

“No. Well, yes, it started out that way. But I never discovered a way to control sylph.”

Which meant Li couldn’t have stolen his research and used it to send sylph after me. Menehem wouldn’t be able to tell me why there’d been two sylph attacks in as many days, back when I left Purple Rose Cottage.

“I thought you wanted to find Sam.” He waved me toward the avenue again. “I saw him earlier, heading toward the north wall.”

Of course he knew what Sam looked like if he’d been following me. I shuddered.

Targeting lights streaked across the air, lasers piercing dragon flesh. We splashed through chemicals — probably Menehem’s concoction — meant to neutralize the dragon’s acid, and darted around dead beasts littering the ground. The creatures provided cover for humans and sylph alike, though the latter seemed more intent on finding a way out of the city. They wafted toward the wall, then jumped and
fled
when they saw Menehem.

I grabbed the nearest stranger. “Have you seen Sam?” He shook his head and started to pull away, but I didn’t release his coat. “Don’t die tonight. You won’t be reborn. Tell everybody.”

The stranger narrowed his eyes, but nodded. “Good luck finding Sam.”

I shouted for Sam as loud as I could, but my voice was useless under the din. When I asked people about him, some of them pointed to places they thought they’d seen him; most of those places were in opposite directions. Nevertheless, I told everyone about Menehem’s plan, pointed at the darkened temple for proof, and followed their leads through the press of people. Five said they’d seen him in the northwest quarter.

My shoes squelched in mud. The crops were ruined from the acid and neutralizing chemicals; the ground was safe to walk on, at least.

“Sam!” My throat ached with cold and screaming. I ducked behind a dead dragon and shot at another as it swooped through the air, homing in on a nearby section of the wall. The beast shrieked as I shot it again. I ran for a ladder. Maybe someone on the wall had seen Sam.

I’d lost Menehem. Didn’t matter. I’d find him if he lived. If not…

He wasn’t my concern. I hauled myself up the ladder, aching bone-deep now, and paused only to shoot at the enormous wing as the dragon landed on the wall. The structure shuddered, and my ladder trembled, but I leaned all my weight forward and it held the rest of my ascent.

The wall was thick enough for ten people to stand abreast. It was still too small for a dragon to perch on, but this one tried. It hooked its front talons on the wall, hovering over a prone figure. Lights glared, making me squint as I took aim and fired.

A lucky shot; I hit its eye. With a deafening roar, the dragon spewed acid in my direction, but its depth perception was gone with its eye. My ladder sizzled as the dragon fell backward, clawing at its face. It flailed, its wings scooping air so hard I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t think it would attack again, at least for a few minutes.

I ran for the man who’d nearly been dragon melt. He wasn’t moving.

“Ana?” Stef was just beyond the man I crouched over. Blood streaked her face and matted her hair as she struggled to her feet. “What are you doing here? Is he okay?” She swayed and dropped to her knees on the other side of…

Sam. He was on his stomach and wearing a coat I didn’t recognize, but shifting lights illuminated his profile. I touched his throat, searching for a pulse. His skin was cold, and for a moment I thought he was dead, but then I found the flutter of blood through arteries. Sam coughed and tried to pull his elbows in so he could push himself up. “Not dead yet?”

I choked on a sob. “Not yet.”

He moved quickly, pushed up and onto his knees, and stared at me with wide eyes and disbelief. “Ana.”

More than anything, I wanted to hug him. I didn’t.

“No time for ‘I missed yous.’” I found my feet and grabbed my weapons. “Menehem did something to Janan. No one who dies tonight will be reborn. We need to be elsewhere until it’s safe to be dead again.”

Stef looked dazed. “What?”

“The wall doesn’t have a heartbeat.” Sam frowned at it. “Wait, Menehem?”

They both had concussions, no doubt. Nevertheless, I jabbed a finger toward the temple, illuminated by floodlights. Three dragons had wrapped themselves around it while others flew in wide circles, spitting at people on the market field. “And the lights aren’t on there. Let’s
go
, both of you. Is Orrin around? Whit or Sarit?”

Sam shook his head. “They were somewhere else.”

I didn’t know whether to be relieved or afraid as I helped Sam and Stef to their feet. They were both taller than me, so I wasn’t much use for keeping them upright as we staggered over debris, but I tried.

On the way to the north guard station, where there’d be medical help, we told anyone who’d listen that they’d be gone forever if they died tonight. Several came with us, but even more didn’t believe us and kept fighting. Some who hadn’t been hurt yet went to spread the word.

Sam had sylph eggs in his coat pockets. When sylph got too close, I trapped them, but mostly the shadows seemed to be looking for escape.

Finally we made it to the guard station, where people shouted orders and others ran to obey. I led Sam and the rest to the medical station tucked in the left side, the cots on wheels all brightly illuminated and surrounded by machines. I helped everyone onto cots while medics and less-injured patients rushed to help.