Indebted (23 page)

Arriving at the loan building, I get out of the car, determined to get this part of my day over with as soon as possible. About two hours into my shift, Tristan shows up and asks me to lunch.

We choose a table in the back of a small deli across the street and settle in with our sandwiches.

“So, Tristan, how’s Addison been doing? Things still good on the home front?” I ask, just making conversation.

“We’re good, man. I couldn’t have a better woman,” he answers. “How are things with you and Aaron? Tonight’s your night at the firing range, right? How did he take the news of where you’re going?”

“Things are great. Aaron is everything I could’ve hoped for. I’m surprised at how he seems to kinda like the idea. He’s nervous, though. I didn’t touch the subject of defense training yet. I wanna see how he feels after firing the gun.” I’m hesitantly excited about tonight.

“That’s a good plan. If you tell him about the other, he may feel pressured. Let him see what it’s like to have some control and power in his hands first. I think this could go a long way toward helping him recover from that bastard’s beating.” Tristan is clearly concerned over Aaron’s well-being. It shows in the sincerity of his voice. “It’ll be nice to know he can take care of himself too. He’ll still have protection, of course, just as my Addison does.”

“Exactly. So if he wants to learn more, what do you think I should focus on?”

“Well, I think mainly teaching him how to get out of holds and fighting dirty is the best way. More than anything, you should stress that his first choice should always be to run and get the fuck out of there, to never stay and fight unless he feels he has to.”

As I’m about to ask what particular moves, my personal phone rings. Looking down, I see that same fucking number again. The assholes better leave me the fuck alone. Tristan picks up on my distress.

“What’s up, man? You gonna answer that?” I hit the button to silence it and shake my head. “Man, seriously, what the hell is wrong? You look shook up a bit.”

I can’t tell him this. No matter how much I want to, I can’t. Completely pissed, I say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m so fuckin’ tired of this shit!” I slam my phone face down on the table.
This fucking sucks. One minute you’re all excited to take Aaron out, and now you’re madder than hell. This is exactly why you need to figure your shit out.

Tristan’s eyes are wide at my outburst. “Liam, for the last fucking time, tell me what’s wrong—now.”

Glancing up at him sadly, I voice what I’ve always wanted to say to him. “Do you ever get tired of this life? Don’t you ever want to go to work nine to five like every other fucker in here and go home? To not have to watch your back or have your family protected? I’m so done with this. Every day with Aaron makes me realize how much I hate doing what we do.”

Tristan sits there and stares at me for what seems like an eternity, then he slumps in his chair a little. “Liam, I do have those times. There are moments when I want to stay home and make dinner with my Addison and not have to drop everything and go. I’ve been in this business a lot longer than you, and I’ve learned to shut down. You, my friend, never have. I see it every time we do a job. I see the regret in your eyes when you have to go to some poor man’s house to collect payment or dole out whatever Thomas wants you to. You fooled yourself a long time ago that you were like me—that it doesn’t affect you. I knew the moment I met you that you weren’t cut out for this life. That’s why I tried so damn hard to prepare you. It’s been eating you alive every day, and I feel helpless to fix it. You’ve always looked to me for answers, and I’m sorry, but I don’t have any this time, man. I don’t. I wish to God I did. Once you’re in the mob, there’s only one way out. You know that the same as I do.”

He’s right; you know he is.
There has to be a way, the other side of my brain tells me. I don’t want to turn into John.

The breeze kicks up, the wind outside making the trees move, and the sun glints off the back of my phone, catching my eye. Thoughtfully, I run my fingers over it. Maybe Tristan doesn’t know everything. Maybe, just maybe, he’s wrong.

Distracted by my thoughts, I say, “I know you’re right. There’s nothing I can do. Hopefully, one of these days I’ll find my off switch. I can only hope.”

“Well, I wish I knew how to tell you to find it. Mine just sort of happened one day. You never know, yours could flip too. The thing to do right now is focus on the positive things in your life, like your date with Aaron.”

Tristan’s distraction technique works. Hearing Aaron’s name puts a smile on my face.
There’s nothing you can do right now. Move it to the back of your mind for the moment.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I give him a sheepish smile. Then I’m sure a mischievous glint shines in my eyes. “Aaron is gonna look sexy as hell with a gun in his hand. I’m so looking forward to seeing that.”

“Seriously? Do you think I want to hear you drooling over your man?” Heh, I knew that would get him. “Just fill me in on how the weapon training goes and be sure to leave the rest of the evening out, you silly fucker.”

“Like I don’t have to listen to the many talents of Addison on a regular basis. Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?”

Snorting, Tristan replies, “It really is.”

“I guess I better head back and get this shit done. I need to be home and ready to go when Aaron gets there.”

Walking back into the building, I see Addison does not appear to be happy. After she informs me Jeremy is in my office, I’m pissed again. Sighing, I go in to deal with the asshole. What greets me enrages me further. There is Jeremy, sitting in my chair with his feet propped up on my desk, relaxed and acting as if he owns the place.

“What the hell are you doin’ here, asshole? Get your fucking nasty ass out of my goddamn chair!”

Jeremy smiles and stands up. “Hello to you too, hot stuff. I love it when you get all feisty. Grrr.”

Not this fuckin’ shit again.
You’d think he’d finally have gotten the hint when you broke his damn nose.

“Don’t start your shit with me, dickhead. I’m hanging on by a thread right now and you’re about to make it snap.” My hands are itching to wring his neck. I try to contain the urge by clenching and unclenching my fists. “Tell me why you’re here or get the hell out.”

“‘Hanging by a thread,’ huh? Your little man not working out for you? I can take him off your hands if you like… or maybe I can help you with your frustration.”

He’s trying to push your damn buttons. Don’t let him do it. It’s what he fuckin’ wants. You want to get rid of him so you can finish up and go home, not prolong things by having to hide a body.

With extreme control, I repeat, “Why are you here?”

Disappointed, he answers in a huff. “Fine—I’m here to tell you about a development we’ve discovered concerning Sam. He’s out of the hospital and has put a hit out on you. I was told to come over and warn you.”

I’m not shocked in the slightest at this news. I knew Sam wouldn’t let things go. He’s not the type. My only concern over this news is Aaron, of course. I have to make sure he learns how to defend himself.

“You could have called.” I roll my eyes at him. “Why did Thomas feel the need to send you over to tell me in person?”

He smirks. “Oh, he didn’t. I wanted to have the chance to see your rockin’ body again.”

“Fine. You’ve seen it, now go.”

Swaying his hips more than necessary, he leaves.

I take a deep breath and release it, trying to clear my mind of all the bullshit, and get back to work. Luckily, the rest of my day goes as planned, and I’m able to leave on time. Once home, I’m dressed and ready to go. Keeping it simple, I wear a pair of nice jeans and a fitted T-shirt.

Aaron gets home shortly after I’m finished, and we decide to have an early dinner once he’s ready. He looks drool-worthy in his jeans and tee, but there is a certain anxiety about him that has my focus.

“It’s going to be fine. No need to be nervous. I’ll be with you the whole time, and if you don’t like it, we’ll leave and do something else.”

“I’m excited and a little apprehensive. I’ll get over it when you start showing me stuff. Having to concentrate will distract me from what I’m actually doing.” He gives me a reassuring smile, and I let the subject drop.

He’s probably right. Once he feels the rush, he’ll be fine. As we get out of the car to go into the large building, Aaron is tense and fidgets with his shirt.

Grabbing hold of his hands to stop him, I reassure him. “I think you’re going to be great at this, and may even surprise yourself at how good you are.”

He takes a deep breath and lets it out, then nods as I lead him into the establishment. After signing in at the desk and showing our IDs, I decide to rent a Taurus 9mm for Aaron. At the booth, I instruct him to put his protective earmuffs on.

As he does, he glances around and looks at me curiously. “Why are there bullet holes in the ceiling? I thought you were supposed to shoot at a target.”

Chuckling, I answer, “Because some dipshits come in here thinking they know everything and rent large guns. Then when they go to shoot, they’re not prepared for what they have in their hand and the recoil gets them, so they end up hitting the ceiling instead.”

He smiles at me and shakes his head. “Oh, nice. Let’s hope I don’t do that.”

“You won’t, I promise. I’ll make sure you know everything you need to. The gun I rented will feel a little weird in your hand at first, but I’ll show you how to hold it and the proper technique.” I put my own earplugs in and give him directions in a loud voice. “Okay, to start with, I want you to pick up the gun and see how it feels to you. Make sure not to touch the trigger unless you’re ready to fire. You’ll get used to having your finger hover over it later, but for right now, I don’t want any accidents. It’s not loaded at the moment.”

Picking it up and doing as he’s told, he smiles at me. “Wow, this is weird. It’s heavy, yet lighter than I thought it would be.”

“That’s good. It means I picked the right one for you. You want to be able to feel it without it being too heavy and hard to handle. I gotta say, you look sexy as fuck holding a gun.”

He blushes a little and then asks, “So, what’s next?”

I show him how to load it, and then work on getting him into position.

“Now, I want you to stand with your feet shoulder width apart.” Grasping his arms, I raise them. “Hold the grip in your right hand and place your left palm on the butt of the handle. Straighten your arms out and keep your elbows loose. If you lock them up or tense, you’re going to feel the recoil harder. You got all that?”

Sticking his tongue out in concentration, he places his body as instructed. His finger is still not close to the trigger, which makes me chuckle a little under my breath. He’s trying to do everything as I say. This tells me Aaron would have been an overachiever in school. It’s such a shame his mom had to pass. He’d have made one hell of a doctor, I think.

Glancing my way, he quirks an eyebrow and asks, “How’s this? Am I doing it right?”

“You’re doing great, babe. You ready to pull that trigger?”

“Um, I guess so,” he says, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Alright, go ahead and aim, and when you feel comfortable, squeeze the trigger. It won’t take too much pressure to get it to fire, so do it in a firm, smooth motion.” To lighten things up, I add, “Just like fuckin’.” Aaron sucks in a startled breath and peers at me for a moment like I’ve lost my damn mind, before laughing. “That’s it, babe, loosen up and have fun with it.”

“You’re right. I’m a little uptight at the moment.”

“I got a cure for that,” I say, winking at him.

His shocked look turns stern. “Liam, don’t get me all worked up. I’m liable to add to the collection of holes in the ceiling.”

I smile at him as he turns back to the target and slowly moves his finger onto the trigger. Squeezing it, the gun fires smoothly and barely hits the paper.

Aaron glances at me, his wide eyes glossed over with excitement. “Wow, I’ve never felt anything like it! I can’t believe I hit something.”

I know exactly what he’s feeling right now: hands and arms tingling, heart racing, and pure adrenaline speeding through his whole body.

Seeing him all lit up like that turns me on somethin’ fierce. All I want to do is grab him and fuck him stupid, but I don’t want to jar him with the gun in his hand, so I settle for feeding off his buzz for now. His body will definitely come later.

“So, what do you think? You want to try again?”

With a big, shit-eating grin on his face, he says, “Hell yeah, I do.”

I show him how to aim better by wrapping my body around him and guiding his movements. Our proximity to each other doesn’t go unnoticed by either of us. Neither does my stiffy, since he intentionally keeps rubbing his sweet ass up against it.

The acrid scent of gunpowder mixed with the smell of a sweaty Aaron makes me want to end the lesson abruptly. His smooth skin grazing against me with each gesture is driving me crazy. I can tell it’s affecting him too. Every time my fingers brush his arm or hands, he shudders.

I have to step away before I do something stupid and cause him to misfire. As I do, he gives me a confused look. “I’m giving you some room. I’m two seconds away from fucking you right here and you need to concentrate.”

Disappointed, he sighs, but goes back to shooting the target. With every shot, he’s getting better, and I’m relieved at how many chest hits he’s making. It’s not realistic, since any target that’s alive will be moving, but it gives me hope he will at least injure someone if the need arises. I’m saddened at the lengths he has to go through to be with me. I know I’m not worth it. He thinks otherwise, though, and I’m not stupid enough to correct him.

Eventually, he sets the gun down and says wearily, “I think I’m done for now. My hand is killing me and my arms are aching. Are you going to pop off any rounds?”

Chuckling, I reply, “You really want to see me fire my gun, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. I know it’s kind of weird with knowing what you do and all, but I really can’t help but think it’s sexy. I don’t know how you can stand the aching in your arms, though. It would irritate the piss out of me.”