Indestructible (31 page)

“I know. Now, come on—lay down for me.”

“I am, jeez!” I giggled, situating myself to rest flat on my back. For the first time all night, Jax became silent, instantly enthralled with the idea I’d given him to sketch. Surprising, considering Oliver could’ve doodled it.

My eyes closed slowly as I enjoyed the alcohol-induced bliss, completely relaxed in Jax’s bedroom: a place I never thought I'd be lying in.

Jax sat beside me on a short stool while I began humming a melody my grandma used to play. He didn’t seem to pay me any mind.

“You think Logan misses me?” I mused.

“Oh, hell no! Don’t act like a sixteen-year-old bitch on me now. Total buzzkill, baby.”

“I’m serious.”

He groaned, clearly agitated. I popped one eye open to catch him shaking his head. It was my turn to pout now, and I did without shame. Still, he said nothing, ignoring me as he leaned over the clipboard in his hands to sketch.

It was only a second later when he peeked back up, smiling. It was an annoyingly cute smile—one that made it clear he’d appease me, if only the tiniest bit.

“I like you drunk; you’re not as mean. So I’ll say one thing, and then we drop you moping about Logan. Deal?”

“Deal!” I grinned, my giddiness returning.

He rolled his eyes, still smiling when he muttered, “Girls.”

“Come on,” I probed.

“All right, listen up: Besides Oliver, you’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to my brother. He adores the hell out of you. Believe me, he misses you. Probably jerking off right now thinking about you.”

My face turned up. “Doubtful. He hasn’t even texted to tell me he arrived safely.” A frown set in. What was wrong with me?

“If he didn’t make it there, my mother would be blowing up my phone by now. You’re good—he’s just got a lot on his mind. I mean, he’s dealing with this Kurt bullshit. Gotta cut him some slack.”

Kurt.
He made my blood boil. Amazing how liquor could send one spiraling from one emotion to another without pause.

“I hate Kurt,” I spewed, my face tight, a new fury replacing my blues.

“Good.” Jax chuckled. He held up the sketch, and I gave him a thumbs up and giant grin.

“You sure you want it lopsided?” he asked.

My mood shifted yet again and I giggled, unable to help myself given the way his eyes squinted in disapproval. “Hm. Perfect!”

Jax winked. “I sure am. Now let’s get you out of those jeans.”

He placed his hands on my hips and I bucked them off, springing upright. “What? No way!”

He stood beside me. “Well, how else am I gonna do this?”

“Here.” I climbed off the table and turned my back to him, then opened my jeans and folded the waist over twice. The purple thong hiding underneath peeked out, but there was little I could do about that other than grab a towel he had folded beside him and tuck it slightly over the front of my jeans. It hid everything he didn’t need to see.

“How’s that?” I whirled back around and hopped up on the table, ready to lie back and cease the spinning in my head.
Slow movements next time.

“Works for me, although it’s not as much fun.”

I narrowed my eyes at him and he shrugged his shoulders. “Just saying,” he said with a snicker.

He set the sketchpad on the tray beside him, pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, then wiped something cool between my bellybutton and hip. He’d explained earlier that the design I wanted was easy to freehand, so I went with it.

This would be my first and probably last tattoo—a live-in-the-moment idea I’d happened upon out of the blue. The liquor was to blame, and Jax wasn’t gentleman enough to talk me into waiting until I’d sobered up. On the contrary, he’d practically dragged me up to his room.

I wanted it somewhere special for only Logan to enjoy, and Jax had pointed out the best spot: low enough that no one could ever see it unless I wanted them to. Worked for me.

With my pants open, it hit me that this probably wasn’t the most appropriate thing to be doing with my boyfriend’s little brother. But again, with alcohol involved, it seemed like a stellar idea. Plus, Jax was all talk. He was a flirt, yes, but I knew he’d never do anything that truly made me uncomfortable. Weirdly, I trusted him.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I asked, my hands fidgeting.

“As long as it’s a juicy one.” He studied his drawing, then dipped the needle in the tiny bit of ink.

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

His hand rubbed over the canvas of my flesh. “Yeah yeah, spill it already.”

I leaned sideways, which seemed to annoy him, but I didn’t stop until I was beside his ear. I attempted to whisper, but in my drunken state, it was probably more of a mild shout.

“I’m glad he’s dead.”

Jax pulled back, his features lit with amusement. “Baby, that’s no secret. And we all feel the same way.”

That didn’t make
me
feel any better. “But he’s a human being. No one deserves to die.”

“We all die eventually, and Kurt…he made his own choices. Not smart ones. Horrible ones, actually, that got him what he had coming.”

“But that’s not—”

“Did you deserve to get attacked?” he interrupted, his voice strained. My mouth snapped shut as he continued. “He was going to rape you, Cassandra! Was that deserved?”

I shook my head, understanding and agreeing. “I know, but still, I feel bad. And now they think Logan did it…because of me.” My voice dropped from the weight of the guilt.

“Come on, don’t be a sad drunk. Stop worrying so much. My brother didn’t kill Kurt—not that he wouldn’t have, but this wasn’t him. Now sit still so I can get started.”

“It’s going to hurt, huh?”

“Are you going to start crying on me next? ’Cause I swear to God—”

“More tequila!” I shouted.

“Good call. “ He poured me a shot, and I sat up to take it. “Drink up, then lie down and stay there. No more talking unless it’s to praise my work or get a little handsy, got it?”

“Got it. But just to be clear: My hands aren’t going anywhere near you.”

“Yeah yeah, I know.” He threw me a playful wink and I smiled, relaxing.

When the needle hit my skin a few seconds later, I bolted upright. Jax muttered a few curses under his breath as he leaned back, glaring at me.

“For Christ’s sake, woman! Lie the hell back down or I’m done.”

My face pinched, full of an apology that he ignored. The man was serious about his work.

“Sorry. I’m ready now.” I fell back and closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing. As he started again, my mind went off to my happy place, fantasizing about Logan’s expression when I showed him the tattoo. And I would—the instant he returned home.

“All right, that’s it,” Jax said, setting the needle down and cracking his knuckles. “She’s a beauty, if I do say so myself.”

“I wanna see.”

I sat up on my elbows and took the handheld mirror he held out for me. “Jax, it’s…it’s gorgeous. I can’t believe you did this.”

It was exactly what I’d envisioned: simple, classic, clean, and meaningful to the only people who mattered.

“Still think it looks lopsided, but that’s on you,” Jax replied with a smile.

After he placed a bandage over his work, I handed the mirror back and swung my legs off the side of the table, grinning so widely my cheeks complained. I didn’t care. I felt alive.

Jax’s phone pinged beside us. With one glance down at it, he hit the silence button, growling under his breath.

“Avoiding a clinging one-night stand?” I teased.

“I wish.” He snapped off his gloves and threw them in the trash. His frown left me curious.

“Who’s the buzzkill now, huh?” I giggled, crossing his room to snoop around the books on a small shelf in the corner. I held up a worn copy of Joe Hill’s
Heart-Shaped Box
.

“Horror fan, I take it?”

He snatched the book from me. “What, shocked I’m literate?”

“Maybe.” My laughter bubbled up.

Jax shook his head, his smile returning. As he pivoted toward the shelf to place the book back in its rightful spot, I sprinted forward and snatched his phone from the desk. He was pressed against my back a second later, reaching to steal the device, but it was too late. The name that highlighted the screen with eight new text messages was loud and clear.

Natasha.

He moved away, and my jaw dropped as I whirled around to face him.

“You hate her! Why is she sending you so many messages?”

Before he could answer, the phone pinged with another. I touched the screen and gasped, reading the newest one.

Call me now or Logan will hear everything!

I peered back up warily to find Jax sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. I scrolled up through the messages.

Seduce her if you have to!

I don’t care what it takes!

I mean it Jax, I want her out of his life.

Was she talking about me? I continued skimming until one message glared bright and alarming, sent the evening Hilary and I had gone to Haven with Natasha.

Natasha: I found my leverage. Seems Hilary has been keeping secrets.

Jax: Leave her out of this.

Natasha: What’s the fun in that?

Jax: Caleb will kill you if you do anything to hurt her!

Natasha: Caleb will be too distracted to do anything to me.

My anger was beyond anything I could control, emphasized by the tequila, but I couldn’t stop reading. The next message was sent the following day—the morning Caleb had showed up at Logan’s looking for Hilary.

Jax: Caleb’s here. What did u do?!

Natasha: Wasn’t me. I’d planned on visiting him at the bar later. Why is he there? He know about the baby?

Jax: Fuck off!

Natasha: Tell me what’s going on over there or I’m coming over for a little chat with Logan about your demanding cock!

I dropped the phone and moved in on Jax, smacking him in the back of the head.

“You son of a bitch!” I screamed, backing away before I went off again. Violence wasn’t the answer, but it sure felt good.

“You…you and…oh my God, Jax! You screwed Natasha? When? Was she still with Logan? Is that why she left him?” My own eardrums hurt at my incessant shrieking.

He sprung off the bed, his features hard. “No! Hell, I was still in high school when they dated.”

“Okay, then when? Or better yet,
why
?”

He blew out a deep breath and stood in front of me, looking genuinely ashamed.

“Last year, right before Logan moved here. Oliver kept asking about his mother, and one day a friend of mine sent me some pics of himself posing with girls he partied with on the beach down in Miami. One was Natasha. I recognized her right away, and went down there to try and convince her to come see Oliver or at least call him. Shit, he deserved that much.” His voice colored with disgrace. “Thought she could explain why she wasn’t around. I love that kid more than anything. I’d never hurt him."

I didn’t know what to say. “Jax…”

He sat on the bed, his shoulders hunched, and I sat beside him.

“I fucked up. I brought her a bunch of photos of Oliver and tried to tell her how funny and smart he was, but all she wanted to do was party.” His hands yanked through his hair. “It’s all a blur. I don’t even know half the shit I took while I was there, just that when I left she had no interest in coming back for Oliver—at least, none that I saw. I mean, she refused to even
talk
about him! At first I thought it was because she was ashamed she left, but I don’t know. I wish I could take it back. You have to believe me on that.” He tilted his head my way. His eyes were glazed over. “When she showed up on New Year’s, I was as shocked as everyone else.”

“Logan doesn’t know?” Sympathy tinged my words. He’d thought he was doing the right thing.

“No—not about me finding her, and
definitely
not that I fucked her. I was fresh out of high school, and she was all over me!”

I made a face of disgust. What was the appeal of Natasha other than on a superficial level? I guessed that was enough for some guys.

“I know it was wrong. I’m not trying to justify what I did, but Logan won’t care. He’ll throw my ass out. He’ll never speak to me or let me near Oliver again.” He grabbed my hands, panicked. “Please, Cassandra. You can’t say anything.”

“He’ll forgive you,” I reasoned.

Jax threw my hands aside and leapt up from the bed, hands balled into fists at his sides. “I’m the reason she’s back, which led to you almost dying in a car accident! Don’t you get that? You think he’s really gonna forgive me? I fucked the first woman he ever loved—and not just once! He’s gonna kill me!”

I stood, approaching him like I was cornering an animal, and placed my hands on his shoulders. “He loves you. He’s going to see your intentions were good. And as far as the sex, Natasha was the one who took advantage of you. You were still basically a kid. And don’t for one second put the blame of my accident on you or even Natasha. I shouldn’t have driven home that night. That’s on me and nobody else.”