Indomitable Spirit (20 page)

Two people in love usually only thought of each other. But no matter what she was already fifth in line. His kids would always come first. Could she handle that? She’d always had to prove herself, but did she continue to do that at the expense of four kids she adored?

And when two people loved each other they usually wanted to share a life together. But that would mean she’d instantly have four children—if things went that far.

“Are you okay? You’re shaking.”

She only nodded because she didn’t want to look at him. The sting of tears was forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut.

Kym wasn’t raised to be anything but grateful—and she was. Grateful that John had run into her at the store. Grateful he’d been the man to hang her sign—fix her furnace—unstick the windows—take Wil to the hospital and then take her to visit. Grateful for the four children she’d already fallen in love with.

But it was Jacob who came to her mind. Would he be grateful for her?

As a student in her school, he thrived. As a big brother, he took his responsibilities very seriously. But as the son of her boyfriend, and maybe someday stepson, would he still accept her?

She thought about the one night she’d gone to their home for dinner. Jacob had been polite, but very cautious. After all, he had a mother and her memory was still fresh in his mind—she knew that.

John pressed a kiss to her neck and suddenly that cloud of doubt began to lift as he slid his hands over her body. She’d consider the possibilities later. Right now she wanted to be the only person for John Larson—for just that moment at least.

An hour later, John started up his truck. The snow had stopped and just as it was in Colorado, the sun was up and warming the snow which had buried them into the barn.

When he walked back into the barn Kym was dressed and folding up all the blankets. A night of passion had put a glow to her skin. Could she possibly be more beautiful?

“The truck is warming. The road looks okay to head down. I’ll come back up in a few days and take your car back to town. It’ll need a few more days of melt.”

Kym only nodded and he knew what she was thinking because he’d been thinking it all night too—what now?

Wrapped in each other’s arms in the Roses’ barn had been one thing. Back in town where they would have to run their businesses and he’d have to tend to his children—things would be different.

He moved to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his hands on her stomach. She tipped her head back against his chest.

Words crowded his head.
Stay with me tonight. I love you. Go away with me.
Each of them fought for the sentence he would say next, but he didn’t know which one was right. He had his kids to think about. His mother and sister would no doubt be waiting there, at his house, waiting for him. Kym had no one—but him.

“Are you ready to go?” He pressed a kiss to her temple.

“No,” she sighed. “But that’s only because I’m being selfish.” She turned in his arms, the blanket still draped over her arm. “It’s all going to be different now.”

“We’ll do our best to not let it be different.”

She nodded, but he wondered if she believed him at all. He wondered if he believed it either.

The heater in the truck was working overtime as John eased down the snow-covered, thin, and icy road. Kym admired how he maneuvered the truck with precision. She wondered how long it really would be before he could bring her car down.

She’d been stupid for trying to make the pass in the snow. There would be a time—soon—when she’d need to think about a better vehicle if she was going to really stay in Aspen Creek—and she was staying.

Shifting a glance toward John, she realized she never wanted to leave the small town again—not without him. Just looking at him made her heart swell. But again, the thought that she was not the most important person in his life still stung. How did women do this—move on? How did men?

He’d said he loved her. That wasn’t just the cold talking. She was sure of that. He’d meant it. Her heart had tumbled the moment the man crashed into her at the store—even if she wouldn’t admit that aloud.

“Do you need to get supplies before you head home?” John asked as they cleared the last turn into town and began to make the drive around the lake.

“No. We had prepared to have my brother a few more days. I should be okay.”

He nodded. “I’ll get you home.”

There was no way to stop the sting of his words. She’d truly hoped he’d take her home with him—already she was asking too much of him, even in her own mind.

Chapter Twenty-One

The small apartment above the karate school was quiet—too quiet.

Her grandfather had taken everything he owned with him and that hadn’t been much, but more than she’d expected. How could she feel so alone so quickly?

Hadn’t she wanted this her entire adult life? Time to be alone? To be herself? Now she had it and she felt like crawling into a corner and crying.

After making a pot of coffee and changing into warm clothes, that was what she did. An old
Big Bang Theory
played on the TV, but even the jokes were dry and not funny. She wondered if she’d even heard any of them. Her mind was far away. Her mind was focused on John and what he might be doing now.

Because she hadn’t had a big meal planned, she didn’t even consider the fact that he’d left his Thanksgiving dinner to save her. He’d have to have abandoned his children to someone else to go up the mountain—to have stayed—to have focused only on her.

Kym ran her hand over her stomach where nerves balled. But he’d done just that. He’d left his family to search for her and take care of her. He’d stayed with her—warmed her—loved her.

She closed her eyes tight to stop the tears as she thought of their bodies pressed together. How many times had they made love? She’d lost count, but there was a need for more—more than just sex.

John isn’t the kind of man who welcomed change, she thought. No, he seemed like the kind of man who liked routine and since she’d come to town his routine had been disrupted.

He’d altered his work schedule around her sign, around Wil’s baby, around his kids coming to her school for karate. Without his wife, things probably had to have been in a certain order for his family. She’d changed that.

And then he’d left his family to rescue her—her who should have known better than to try and drive her tiny car over a snowy mountain. But he’d done it and now she knew he’d done it out of love. He loved her. He’d said so.

Squeezing her eyes shut didn’t stop the tears. Why did she feel so abandoned? Because after a night of making love to her and telling her he loved her he’d dropped her off at home and went back to his family—without her.

Kym wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. This was the price she’d pay to love him.

Oh, she could win in any sparring match or save her own life if she were physically attacked, but could she save her heart from the ache it felt now? She wasn’t the first person he’d think about every day and she hated being so petty.

Was it supposed to be so hard to love a man?

~*~

Cody’s cheeks were already flush with color as John pulled his blanket up over him. He’d been worn out after having spent the night with his grandmother and aunt.

John hoped he had made it clear how thankful he was to them, but they’d only kept asking about Kym.

It was hard to stand there and try to act
normal
about the whole thing.
She’s fine. She was cold. The road was too dangerous to get down.
He heard the words over and over in his head. And he wondered if they all saw right through him. Did they know he’d spent the entire night with Kym wrapped in his arms—naked?

There was a burning in the pit of his stomach. He’d told Kym he loved her and that wasn’t a lie. He’d never loved anyone but Abigail. He’d never made love to anyone but Abigail. And he’d certainly never left his children wondering where he was to be with a woman before.

John stepped out of Cody’s room, closing the door slightly. He walked back to the kitchen where Jacob was still sitting at the table.

“Don’t you think you should be heading to bed too?” John asked, noticing the perplexed look on his son’s face.

“You didn’t come back last night.”

John swallowed hard. “No. The roads were pretty bad and the sun was going down. We made it to the Roses’ barn and stayed there. We could make a fire there.”

Jacob gave him a little nod. “You stayed…together?”

There was a different feeling in the pit of John’s stomach now. This wasn’t the time to have this conversation with his son, but a good father wouldn’t ignore it either.

“We were together, yes.”

Jacob looked around the room nervously. “Was there anyone else there?”

“No.”

“Are you going to marry Miss O’Bryne?”

John let out a long breath and pulled out a chair. Sitting across from his son he clasped his hands together on the table.

“Why are you asking me that?”

Jacob shrugged. “You know. On TV people spend the night together and sometimes they get married.”

“You do understand that we stayed together because it was too dangerous to come home.”

“I know. But you like her don’t you?”

“I like her a lot.”

“Well, if you like her that much are you going to marry her?”

John scooted the chair around toward his son. “What is this about?”

“Grandma and Aunt Heather were talking and they said it’s time for you to move on.”

That hit him in the chest.
They said that
?

“They said that to you?” he asked Jacob.

“No, I just overheard them.” Jacob looked up at him with a panic still darkening his eyes. “Are you going to forget about Mommy?”

A sweat broke out on his forehead and John quickly wiped it away. It would have been much easier had he asked if he’d had sex with Kym.

“Honey, I’ll never forget your mommy.”

“But if you like Miss O’Bryne and you do marry her she’d be my mommy, right?”

“Sweetheart, your mommy will always be your mommy.” He covered his son’s hand. “I’ll never forget her. I loved her very much and I miss her very much.”

“I miss her too and Mason says he doesn’t remember her at all.”

That broke his heart, but he understood it. Mason had only been two when she’d died. And Cody would never have known her, except for in his heart, John supposed.

“Your mother will live on in us forever, you know that, right?”

He nodded and his forehead crinkled. “I miss having a mom around.”

“I’m not good enough?”

Jacob’s eyes widened. “I didn’t mean that. It’s just…well…I’m the only kid in my class who doesn’t live with his mother.”

“Your situation is special.”

“I don’t like my situation,” he said. “I just want you to know I like Miss O’Bryne and if you wanted to marry her it would be okay. And I still miss Mommy.”

John pulled Jacob out of his chair and into his arms. Alone in the kitchen his son didn’t pull away.

“I think we’re doing okay,” he said as he gave Jacob an extra squeeze and then pulled back to look at him. “But I do like Miss O’Bryne a lot.”

“A whole lot?”

“A whole lot.” He smiled as he said it.

“You kissed her the other night when she ate dinner here.”

“You saw that, huh?”

Jacob nodded. “Did you kiss her again?”

Now John could feel the heat under the rim of his shirt collar. “Yes, I’ve kissed her a few times.”

“Do you like it?”

John bit down on his cheek before answering. “I do.”

He could see the dimple now form in his son’s cheek. “Did you kiss her when you were alone in the barn on the hill.”

John narrowed his eyes. “Why don’t you go to bed?”

Jacob’s grin widened. “Can I go back to class on Monday?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Jacob pushed back his chair and stood. “At least if you marry her or keep kissing her I can go to class.”

John ran his hand over his hair, well how could he possibly let his son down. He might not be ready for marriage…but he could take a few more of those kisses.

~*~

Saturday morning was still too quiet as Kym woke much later than she normally would. Saturdays were made for early morning training so the occasional day off should have been a real treat.

But she was lonely.

The sun was up and when she looked at her phone on the nightstand she was more than surprised to find that it was past nine in the morning.

When was the last time she’d ever slept that late?

Yesterday, she thought, when she’d awakened in John’s arms before making love to him again.

As she pushed back her blankets she heard a noise outside. Something was hitting her window.

Quickly she swung her legs over the side of the bed and ran through the small apartment. John had thrown pebbles at her window once—could that be him?

Kym flung open the curtains and looked down below. It wasn’t John. Instead there stood Jacob, Abby, Mason, and even Cody.

She opened the patio door and took a step out onto the small patio, into the bitter chill of the morning.

“What are you four doing here?” The smile on her mouth pushed at her cheeks.

“Mrs. Maggie is saving us the big booth for a late breakfast,” Jacob said. “Would you come have breakfast with us?”

“Just the four of you?” she asked on a laugh.

Four sets of eyes looked toward the corner of the building where she could see John leaning against the wall a grin on his lips.

Her heart flipped in her chest. “Mr. Larson, did you send your children to ask for a date?”

“Not much of a date with four kids,” he said, his eyes still cool as he watched her.

“I’d love to have breakfast with you all. I still need to get dressed.” She shivered from the cold that blew through the canyon. “Here,” she said turning back into the apartment and taking her keys from the counter. She walked back to the patio. “I’m sending down the keys. You can open the door to the school and I’ll be down in a few minutes.”