Inescapable Desire

Chapter 1

After leaving Los Angeles, I thought I would never have to come face to face with Logan Sanders ever again. The last thing I expected was to open my front door and discover him standing there. He was staring down at me with those crystal blue eyes; the same eyes I have gazed into so many times over the past four years. Only now, instead of getting lost in the love and desire I use to see I look into his eyes feeling anger and betrayal. Cheating on me with half of L.A. was a deal breaker. All I see when I look at him is a pathetic excuse for a man, rather than the one I once dreamt of spending the rest of my life with.

I stood frozen as my mind takes in the image of Logan standing before me. He has the audacity to come to Galveston. I ran all the way to Texas for goodness sake in order to get away from him.

“Savannah, I know I am the last person you want to see right now, but can I come in so we can talk?” Logan finally says snapping me back to the here and now.

“What? No! What the hell are you doing here Logan?” the annoyance in my voice unmistakable. I want to make sure he knows I’m not thrilled one bit at his surprise visit. I am still trying to get over the shock that he is really here.

The nervousness rushing from him only has the effect of fueling my anger towards him. I have never witnessed Logan nervous before, not even once the entire time we were together. He was always Mr. Calm and Collected.

I have to hold back the urge to kick him in the balls. I tried so hard over the last few months to move past everything that happened. But he is making that extremely difficult, with him constantly talking to the press, and to top it off by showing up here.

“I had to see you. I saw Brooklyn earlier this morning at Starbucks. She said you guys are moving here permanently, is that true?”

“If you must know, yes it’s true, but what I do with
my
life is no longer any of your business Logan. So why are you here?” I take a deep breath reminding myself to breathe and maintain my composure.

He ran his hands through his hair, letting out a deep moan of frustration. He spun around and walked over to the railing of my deck; gripping it. I can see the veins pulsating along his arms as he tries to control his anger.

“Savannah, I never thought you would leave L.A. I was hoping…” He spun back around facing me, “I was hoping we could find a way to fix this.”

Is he smoking crack? He seriously believes there is a chance in hell that I would ever get back with him?

“Logan, you need to get it through your head, we are finished. I cannot move past the fact that you fucked pretty much anything with a fucking vagina!”

Logan took another step towards me; I quickly stepped around him towards the railing he was just leaning on. The last thing I want or need is him touching me. I swear to God I will snap and the last thing I want is to turn violent with him and have
that
all over the tabloids.

I still cannot believe he has the nerves to come here! Kayden is going to be here soon. The last thing I need is for them meeting, especially on a deck two stories high, where things could turn ugly, quickly. Logan has a big mouth, and Kayden I don’t think would hesitate to shut him up.

“I won’t accept that Savannah I…I love you. These last few months, being away from you has been a living hell. I am going to get help; what I did, it had nothing to do with you. It was my addiction to sex.”

I burst out laughing. I’m about to lose my mind right now. He seriously thinks I believe his bullshit story of suffering from sex addiction? “Shut up, right now. I don’t want to hear your excuses. You cheated on me. Not just once or twice; you cheated on me for our entire relationship! That is not something I can just overlook, and say ‘oh well, it was because of an addiction’. That’s not love Logan!”

I can see anger taking over his features; he truly believed I would buy his sob story and just take him back. He has gone completely mental!

“Just like that! You will throw away everything we had?” He said between clenched teeth. “Did you ever love me Savannah?”

“Oh. My. God. Are you fucking serious right now!? Of course I loved you, you stupid asshole! I loved you with all my heart. Never had the idea crossed my mind to be with anyone but you. I was one hundred percent committed to you and the life I thought we were building together. You on the other hand didn’t seem to think twice about sticking your dick into any whore who would spread her legs for you!”

I feel like I’m in a freaking twilight zone! He is pushing all the wrong buttons right now, and if he keeps pushing, he is going to see a side of me he never saw before, and then he will be wishing he hadn’t.

“You’re not listening to me Savannah; I didn’t want to sleep with those women! I couldn’t control myself. I am going to get better, I can be that man you loved and give you the perfect life. Just come back to Los Angeles and give me a chance to prove it to you.” He walks over to me putting his hands on my arms staring at me with pleading eyes.

Even though a small part of me still love him, and wished what he said was true, I know deep down its not reality. He could paint me this beautiful picture of a life we could have together. The truth is I could never forgive, or forget, there is no possible way I can even consider trying again with him.

Then there is Kayden, he has awakened feelings inside of me that Logan could not even begin to stir up. What I felt for Logan seems like puppy love compared to the intense feelings I have for Kayden. Which is completely insane, I have only known Kayden a few days compared to years with Logan.

I push Logan away from me; I simply can’t deal with him touching me. His touch that I once craved now turned my stomach. “Logan you need to go now.
We.Are.Done.
The sooner you come to terms with that, the faster we can both move on with our lives.”

“This is about that Kayden guy isn’t it? Did you fuck him when he came to L.A. for his Envy interview?”

“You
did not
just ask me that? You are seriously a world class douche bag! NO I did not Fuck him when he was in L.A., unlike you Logan, I actually understand what an exclusive relationship means!” I shove him away from me harder this time; “You can leave now, I have nothing more to say to you.” Pointing towards his rent-a-car.

“I am not going anywhere. You think that Kayden Knox, the playboy of Houston, is actually going to commit to you? What a joke! He is going to use you Savannah, then toss you aside and move on to his next conquest. I’m in love with you and couldn’t stay faithful; do you think a man you hardly know will? Hell, he may give it his best shot, but believe me, when he goes out of town for business, don’t think for a second he will be able to resist temptation. There are always a million girls willing to do whatever he wants and keep their mouths shut.”

I didn’t even think before reacting, I swung my arm back and connected my fist with Logan’s nose. “Shut up!” I shout feeling his nose crack and blood went everywhere. I have never punched anyone before in my life. I just lost control, listening to him spew his poison.

I cannot believe I just punched him! Shit my hand is throbbing. With a look of utter shock and anger Logan cupped his nose in his hands.

“You stupid bitch! You broke my fucking nose!” He yells staring at the blood in his hands.

“Oh, my god….I’m so sorry! Why couldn’t you just shut up and leave? I don’t know why you even thought you could show up here, and convince me to take you back.”

The look he gives me had me backing away from him with fear “Just stay here and I will get you a rag for your nose.” I say needing to put some distance between us.

Breathing a sigh of relief I retrieve a washcloth from the bathroom and run warm water over it.

Stepping onto the deck my eyes land on a man standing next to Logan; He looks to be about six feet, slender build, with slightly styled short brown hair.

“Here is a washcloth for your nose.” Now some stranger gets to see firsthand what I did; just freaking fantastic.

“Hi I’m Jacob Williams, my boyfriend and I are renting the beach house next door.” Introducing himself with a thick British accent. “I heard shouting, so I came to see if I could be of any assistance.”

He’s gay? What a shame for the female population, because he’s extremely handsome. Brooklyn would have loved him. “Hi, I’m Savannah.” I reply with a quick hand shake. “Everything is fine, Logan was just leaving.” I turn towards Logan, shooting him a death glare. He best be leaving or I will not hesitate to call the cops and have his ass escorted off of my property. “Again, I am sorry about your nose Logan, but I need you to leave. We have nothing left to talk about.”

“Savannah, are you serious? You just busted my nose for fuck sake! And you’re not even going consider anything I said?”

“Yes I am serious. I want you to leave NOW. There is nothing left to discuss, or for me to think about. My mind was made up the moment I caught you in that hotel room. Kayden is going to be here soon, so I think it is best if you just go. And while you are at it, why don’t you head straight to the airport. Go back to L.A.; I’m sure there are plenty of women waiting there to help you forget all about me.”

“You are making a huge mistake. Kayden Knox is only going to break your heart. Just wait and see; I’m right about him.”

“Kind of hard to break something that is already shattered. You seem to forget you broke my heart months ago, and
that
I will never forget. Please just go! I don’t want a scene, especially in front of my new neighbor.” I waved my hands towards Jacob, who was standing there looking every bit as uncomfortable as I feel.

Jacob cleared his throat and stepped in front of me, “Sir, I believe the lady asked you to leave. We don’t want to have to get the police involved.”

How grateful I am that Jacob showed up, because I don’t know if Logan would have agreed to leave without causing a commotion.

Huffing out a loud sigh, Logan briskly walks away avoiding Jacob and the tense situation. I’m happy he is finally leaving. I just hope he takes my advice and goes back to Los Angeles. I don’t need this right now, my life is finally starting to piece back together, and then Logan comes barreling into town trying to knock it back down again.

“Thank you for your help Jacob. I really appreciate it. I just wish you didn’t have to witness that. Not the best way to meet your new neighbor.” Nervously rocking on the heels of my feet; too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

“Don’t be, I am just happy I was nearby and able to help. If you need anything at all don’t hesitate to ask. If I am not there my boyfriend Zak should be. We will be at the house next door for the month.”

“Thanks, I just hope that there will not be a next time. I need to get back inside before my lasagna burns. It was nice meeting you.”

He flashed a mega watt smile at me. Such a shame he’s not straight. Brooklyn would be all over that like white on rice, I smile to myself as I watch him walk back towards his beach house.

I hurry back inside; thankful my timer still had thirty minutes until I had to take out the lasagna. I still have time to shower and finish setting the scene for our romantic evening before Kayden gets here. Of course my hand is throbbing and slightly swollen. Hopefully it won’t put a damper on our evening together. I am dreading having to bring up the whole Logan fiasco when Kayden gets here.

*****

Stepping out of my bedroom ready for the evening ahead I heard my laptop beeping, alerting me of an incoming Skype call. I sit down on the couch turned my Skype on and was greeted with Reagan's gorgeous smile.

"Hey stranger, what's up?” I said smiling back at him. I already know why he’s calling me. He more than likely saw on a blog or gossip website that Logan was spotted at LAX, and then a short while later at Houston Airport.

"Don't hey what's up me, Savannah. Why is Logan in Houston? Please don't tell me you lost your damn mind, and taking him back." Reagan said with an irritated tone.

I let out a moan and propped my chin in my hands. The drama and chaos I endured over the past few months is enough to last me a lifetime. Now Logan showing up here has just piled on a whole boatload more.

"Oh my god no! I am just as shocked as you are that Logan came here. He has lost his freaking mind. He actually thought he could show up here promising me everything under the sun, and I would be stupid enough to take him back!”

Reagan sat back in his office chair, looking as if a humungous weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He ran his hand through his sandy brown hair, letting out a small chuckle. "You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that. I thought I was going to have to jump back on a plane, to Texas and knock some sense into you!"

"I would never in a million years take Logan back. I don't care what excuses he has for cheating on me. I am done with him, he is my past, and hopefully Kayden Knox is my future. He had the cheek to tell me I should move back to L.A. trying to scare me with Kayden’s past, and his well known playboy ways. He said he still loves me, and Kayden will only break my heart. I literally snapped; I was beyond pissed off already that he had the arrogance to show up at my house, but to then trying to use Kayden to get me back…that was my breaking point.”

Reagan shot up in his chair sporting a big ass grin across his face. "Oh do tell! Now this story just got interesting. So did you put King of the Douchebags in his place? Did he run of with his tail between his legs?" He asks letting out a deep laugh.

I couldn't help but laugh. Talking with Reagan just for these few minutes has helped me relax. All the tension built up inside of me was slowly seeping away. "Well sort of." I said and held my hand up in front of my laptop, showing Reagan my swollen red knuckles. "I kinda, sorta punched him...and possibly broke his nose." I slapped my hand over my eyes laughing with embarrassment.

I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head when he saw my hand. "Holy shit, Savannah! You've been in Texas what...seven days!? You’re already turning into a bad ass! I am going to call you Chuck Norris from now on." He teased. "Hell, I am so pissed I missed that! What happened after you punched him? Did he go ape shit? If he laid a hand on you, I will break his fucking neck."

For the next ten minutes I continued to explain to Reagan everything that happened with Logan. I told him about Jacob showing up after overhearing us arguing, and how I thought him coming over helped me get Logan to finally leave. Reagan was happy to hear that I had shown Logan the door and told him there was nothing left for us to discuss. I just hope Logan stops being selfish and returns to Los Angeles, so I can finally move on with my life.

Reagan had to end our call because he was about to film an episode for his show. Talking to him made me miss him, but deep down I know leaving L.A. is one of the best decisions I have made in a long time.